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A new tradition

11/11/2020

1 Comment

 
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Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.
I tend to get reflective now and then.  It’s just how I’m constructed.  And lately I’ve been reflecting on a tradition I adopted a few years ago to improve my walk in the covenant path.

I’ve spoken before about my tradition of spending the last 40 days of the year studying and applying the Sermon on the Mount.  Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.

This year I’ve determined to take this to the next level by involving other people.  I don’t know anyone will join me, but I feel I need to attempt it all the same.  I’ll of course provide resources to help bring the group together and walk through the tradition.  And who knows?  Maybe I’ll  get enough people to do this with me every year that something old turns into a new tradition.

How it works

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Here’s how the 40 days work.  Every day, the schedule lists a portion of the Sermon on the Mount to study for that day.  That might be a single verse or several verses.

The schedule provides the section as recorded in Matthew and 3 Nephi as well as other relevant references for comparison.  The end result is a foundation of scriptures to compare at the start of the daily practice.  You read, compare, examine, and reflect.

Then you commit to applying during the course of that day what you’ve learned.  You go through your day, completing your commitment.  At the end of the day, you “return and report” by reflecting on your experience and writing about how it changed you.

Then the next day, you repeat the process with a new verse or section of verses as detailed in the schedule.  You do this for 39 days.  On Day #40, you reflect upon and write about your experience as a whole.

The next level

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I can’t speak highly enough of how this tradition has helped me draw closer to my Savior and become more truly His.  It’s not just study.  It’s a continual process of learn, do, and reflect that creates a journey similar to an ever expanding spiral staircase.

I’ve always shared this tradition with others.  But this year my growth requires me to invite others to walk each of the 40 days with me.  By walking as a group together, we can strengthen and support each other.

To that end, I’m announcing some changes for Joy in the Journey Radio.  First, I’ll provide for free the schedule for the 40-day journey.  Look to the end of the monologue blog post.

Second, to help those who want an extra aid, I’ll provide a workbook as a guide for walking through each of the 40 days.  Everything you need for each step of each day will be there, including side-by-side scripture comparisons, space for writing, and suggested commitments for application.  Because Amazon provides the best way to provide this workbook in the most useful format, you’ll have to buy it.  But I’ll keep the price as low as Amazon will allow.

Third, I’m going to devote the Joy in the Journey Radio Facebook page to this tradition.  During each of the 40 days, I’ll post the relevant scriptures along with something extra like my commitment for that day or some thoughts about the verse(s) for that day.  Others can then share what they learned or experienced, allowing everyone to be strengthened by each other’s journey.  And as always, joining and participating in the Facebook group is free.

Let’s walk together

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I’m not sure how I’ll manage this group in addition to all of my other responsibilities.  My calling and my schooling by themselves take significant time.  But I feel strongly I need to pursue this, and so I step out with faith the Lord will provide for me.

Day #1 is November 22, so don’t delay getting involved, especially if you want the workbook to guide you along.  Get the schedule and join the Facebook page.  You’ll see what I call the holy trinity of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day) in a whole new light.  And deepening your discipleship is a great way to end the current year and begin a new one.

For all of us, 2020 has been an absolutely crazy year.  So come join me in adopting a new tradition.  Let’s end 2020 together by engaging a journey that will deepen our discipleship, bring us closer to the Savior, and help us feel more of His love as we strengthen and support each other.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
Sermon on the Mount 40-Day Schedule
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1 Comment

Hear Him

9/30/2020

0 Comments

 
. . . it is ever more vital that we do indeed hear Him.
As I mentioned on the program last week, I wanted to save the monthly return to Conference for September until this week for the program just before Conference as a means of preparing more for it.  Frankly, with as hectic as 2020 has been, I've been ready for Conference for quite some time now.  I'm eager to hear more from those we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators, and particularly from the current Prophet, President Nelson.

That anticipation has prompted me to look back.  Just as we were counseled to prepare for Conference six months ago by looking back to the events of the glorious Restoration, I feel prompted to prepare for this next Conference by looking back to what the current Prophet said six months ago.
As is characteristic of the prophets we've seen thus far in the 21st century, President Nelson spoke multiple times this past Conference.  But one address stood out to me as I considered the focus for the program today.  President Nelson's address entitled "Hear Him" focused on the Savior in a way that addresses the craziness which now seems to engulf the world.  And in light of recent reflections regarding the Savior and what makes the good we bring to the world truly matter, it is ever more vital that we do indeed hear Him.

Hear

President Nelson specified four ways that we can all hear the Savior.  The first of these ways is the scriptures.  President Nelson taught,

Daily immersion in the word of God is crucial for spiritual survival, especially in these days of increasing upheaval. As we feast on the words of Christ daily, the words of Christ will tell us how to respond to difficulties we never thought we would face.
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That sounds a lot like what he said in his first Conference address as President of the Church.

Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.
So it shouldn't surprise us that President Nelson mentioned the Holy Ghost as a way to hear the Savior.

It has never been more imperative to know how the Spirit speaks to you than right now. In the Godhead, the Holy Ghost is the messenger. He will bring thoughts to your mind which the Father and Son want you to receive. He is the Comforter. He will bring a feeling of peace to your heart. He testifies of truth and will confirm what is true as you hear and read the word of the Lord.

I renew my plea for you to do whatever it takes to increase your spiritual capacity to receive personal revelation.

Doing so will help you know how to move ahead with your life, what to do during times of crisis, and how to discern and avoid the temptations and the deceptions of the adversary.

When I think of a place to receive revelation and feel the influence of the Spirit, the temple comes quickly to mind.  Although the pandemic has restricted most of us from being in the house of the Lord, President Nelson looked ahead to when they will one day reopen.

When these temporary COVID-19 restrictions are lifted, please schedule regular time to worship and serve in the temple. Every minute of that time will bless you and your family in ways nothing else can. Take time to ponder what you hear and feel when you are there. Ask the Lord to teach you how to open the heavens to bless your life and the lives of those you love and serve.

While worshiping in the temple is presently not possible, I invite you to increase your participation in family history, including family history research and indexing. I promise that as you increase your time in temple and family history work, you will increase and improve your ability to hear Him.

"And, finally," President Nelson declared, "we hear Him as we heed the words of prophets, seers, and revelators."  With that opportunity just a few days away, I'm glad it won't be long now to hear from our inspired leaders as they point the way to the Savior.

Hearken

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But notice that President Nelson didn't say we hear the Savior as we hear His servants.  No, he said we hear the Savior when we heed His servants.  To heed means more than just to hear.

President Nelson also used the word hearken.  He observed that "the very first word in the Doctrine and Covenants is hearken" and then defined hearken to mean "to listen with the intent to obey" before declaring


To hearken means to “hear Him” —to hear what the Savior says and then to heed His counsel. In those two words —“Hear Him” —God gives us the pattern for success, happiness, and joy in this life. We are to hear the words of the Lord, hearken to them, and heed what He has told us!

As we seek to be disciples of Jesus Christ, our efforts to hear Him need to be ever more intentional. It takes conscious and consistent effort to fill our daily lives with His words, His teachings, His truths.

I like that idea of being more intentional about hearing the Lord.  Making conscious choices and acting with intention is key to unlocking much of the joy that surrounds us every day.  Our best life comes to us not be accident but by design when act with the intention to have it.

Likewise, we hear the Lord more clearly when we act with the intention of hearing it.  Listening with that desire to obey whatever we receive is key to having that right and proper intention.

Heed

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Of course, listening with the desire to obey makes the next step obvious once we actually do hear.  We must obey and heed what we have heard.  We must apply our newly acquired knowledge.  We must act and obtain the results possible only through action.

President Nelson was quite clear what some of those results would be.


What will happen as you more intentionally hear, hearken, and heed what the Savior has said and what He is saying now through His prophets? I promise that you will be blessed with additional power to deal with temptation, struggles, and weakness. I promise miracles in your marriage, family relationships, and daily work. And I promise that your capacity to feel joy will increase even if turbulence increases in your life.
I don't think I've ever been more eager for Conference to arrive than I am after experiencing what 2020 has offered.  And a good portion of that eagerness comes from faith that hearing, hearkening to, and heeding the Lord's voice as spoken through His anointed servants will bring the blessings President Nelson has promised and so much more.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here and continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Find more information about this episode, including how to listen to the entire episode, by going to the show page for this episode.
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Look to the Savior

7/15/2020

0 Comments

 
We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.
Perusing the possibilities for the program today, I returned to Conference and found Elder John A. McCune's address"Come unto Christ – Living as Latter-day Saints."  As I read it, I saw very clearly how much of that address applies directly to singles.

That may surprise some, given Elder McCune never once mentioned the singles.  He begins by describing holding a page of the original Book of Mormon manuscript.  His mind reflects first on the Prophet Joseph Smith and then on Nephi, both of whom did difficult things because they stayed focused on the Savior.
Of course, Nephi is a key clue indicating direct applicability to singles.  After all, Nephi was a stud of a single adult.  Many of the epic faith-promoting stories about him — "I will go and do," for instance, or retrieving the plates from Jerusalem, or the vision of the tree of life — were realized while Nephi was a faithful single adult.

What inspiration has lit the world from that valiant example!  We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.

Look to Him

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That's exactly where Elder McCune's remarks went.  Addressing the general Church membership and not just the singles, Elder McCune admonishes all of us to exercise faith despite our challenges.  As we look to the Savior in those moments, we can feel the love and peace only He can offer.

Elder McCune shares a family experience after his son encountered a life-threatening accident to his brain.  In an almost empty hospital, all Elder McCune and his family could do was kneel and pour out their hearts to God.  "In the midst of this confusing and painful moment," Elder McCune recounts, "we were filled with our Heavenly Father’s love and peace."

Elder McCune continues,


We did not know what the future held or if we would see our son alive again. We did know very clearly that his life was in God’s hands and the results, from an eternal perspective, would work out for his and our good. Through the gift of the Spirit, we were fully prepared to accept any outcome.

It was not easy! The accident resulted in a two-month hospital stay while we were presiding over 400 full-time missionaries. Our son experienced a significant loss of memory. His recovery included long and difficult physical, speech, and occupational therapy sessions. Challenges remain, but over time we have witnessed a miracle.

We understand clearly that not every trial we face will have a result we wish for. However, as we remain focused on Christ, we will feel peace and see God’s miracles, whatever they may be, in His time and in His way.

There will be times when we will not be able to see any way that a current situation will end well and might even express, as Nephi, “My heart sorroweth because of my flesh.” There may be times that the only hope we have is in Jesus Christ. What a blessing to have that hope and trust in Him. Christ is the one who will always keep His promises. His rest is assured for all who come unto Him.

Many LDS singles sometimes wonder whether the challenges of singles life will ever end.  To those with such thoughts, I invite you to look to the Savior and walk in faith.

Follow His servants

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Walking by faith isn't easy.  Especially in these times when the pandemic has turned the world upside down, many seem intent on walking in fear.  We who have the light of the gospel can inspire faith with a focus on the Savior.  And we LDS singles can play that part in our day just as Nephi did in his.

Already in my new calling, I've participated in discussions regarding the return to weekly Sunday church services.  Many of the Saints have concerns — and rightly so — about the risks of infection.  Yet the Brethren have asked local leaders to accelerate the return to regular worship services.

Keep in mind the Church is greatly exceeding what local state and county officials recommend.  Yet even with that, many members resist the idea of meeting together.  Far be it from me to judge others in these trying times.  I certainly don't blame anyone for wanting to stay away.

Yet I would invite these same people I hesitate to judge to look to the Savior and follow His servants in faith.  Elder McCune spoke of the support we can find in focusing on and following the Savior.


As followers of Christ, we are not spared challenges and trials in our lives. We are often required to do difficult things that, if attempted alone, would be overwhelming and maybe impossible. As we accept the Savior’s invitation to “come unto me,” He will provide the support, comfort, and peace that are necessary, just as He did for Nephi and Joseph. Even in our deepest trials, we can feel the warm embrace of His love as we trust Him and accept His will. We can experience the joy reserved for His faithful disciples, for “Christ is joy.”
Nephi was able to do difficult things because he focused on the Savior and walked in faith.  As we focus on the Savior and walk in faith, so can we.

Walk in faith

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Elder McCune concluded his remarks by addressing the enticements some may experience to leave the spiritual safety of the Church.  He first mentions loved ones "who are questioning truth."  We don't want to abandon the gospel but also don't want our families torn apart.

I can't really speak from personal experience here, but I do like how Elder McCune responded.  He advocated looking to the Savior and remaining faithful to Him and His gospel.  It's hard to lift someone to higher ground from below.  As Elder McCune declared, "If our true desire is to rescue those we love, we ourselves must stay firmly with Christ by embracing His Church and the fulness of His gospel."

He then addressed those who think we don't really need the Church.


The adversary would entice some to leave the joy of the gospel by separating Christ’s teachings from His Church. He would have us believe that we can stay firmly on the covenant path on our own, through our own spirituality, independent of His Church.

In these latter days, Christ’s Church was restored in order to help Christ’s covenant children stay on His covenant path. ... Through Christ’s Church, we are strengthened through our experiences as a community of Saints. We hear His voice through His prophets, seers, and revelators. Most importantly, through His Church we are provided with all the essential blessings of Christ’s Atonement that can be realized only through participation in sacred ordinances.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s Church on the earth, restored in these latter days for the benefit of all of God’s children.

I bear witness that as we come unto Christ and live as Latter-day Saints, we will be blessed with an added measure of His love, His joy, and His peace. Like Nephi, we can do difficult things and help others do the same, because we know in whom we can trust. Christ is our light, our life, and our salvation.

I too bear witness that we singles Latter-day Saints can do difficult things when we look to the Savior, focus on following Him, and walk in faith.  It's not easy, but it was never meant to be, because it was meant to be worthwhile.  When we look to Him, the Savior's peace and love can fill our souls.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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The formula for peace

5/27/2020

0 Comments

 
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I’m self-aware enough to know these results signal the need for change.  But what exactly should I change?
Recently I began an effort to improve my scripture study.  It was feeling too rote, and I just wasn’t getting the enlightenment and spiritual nourishment I want to get from that daily ritual.

I’m self-aware enough to know these results signal the need for change.  But what exactly should I change?  Everything or just a part?  And if just a part, which part?  And what should I change to?

After prayer and reflection upon the subject, the way forward became clear.  “If you want to know what to do with your scripture study,” came the idea, “why not study what the scriptures have to say about that?”  My first thought after this clear intelligence came to me was “That’s absolutely brilliant!”
I started my scripture study on scripture study last week.  And while I’m nowhere near finished, I found a verse that exemplifies the role I want my daily scripture study to play.  It’s inside a very simple formula for peace in life:

Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. (D&C 19:23)

Learn

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The scriptures are an obvious repository of knowledge about the Prince of Peace.  And while they aren’t the only repository, the scriptures should be the first resource we consult when our peace in life is challenged.

That’s part of what I want daily scripture study to provide.  I want to feel my knowledge and intellectual mastery of gospel principles expanding.  I want to feel spiritually nourished.  That doesn’t happen for me with a simple rote reading activity because I’ve progressed beyond satiation with simply milk.  I need meat!

And the scriptures have lots of meat, particularly for those willing to search for it, because many of the golden treasures in the scriptures aren’t lying on the surface for just anyone to pick up.  To get the gold, you have to dig.  And digging means interacting with the scriptures in one way or another.

Those in educational circles would call this active learning.  You’re reflecting on the meaning of words or looking for patterns or identifying themes or making connections between different verses based on their use of the same word or pattern, often with the purpose of answering a question or accomplishing some objective.

Listen

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Of course, peace in life requires more than increasing our intellectual mastery of the gospel.  Study does provides the foundation, but the foundation is not the entire edifice.  Knowledge is not power; power comes only when we act on our knowledge.  To build on the foundation scripture study should provide, we must listen to what we learn.

To listen means simply to hear, but it also means to follow and to comply with.  And if the Spirit is the true teacher, as is often said, then the real learning comes as we hear the voice of the Spirit and follow what that voice tells us to do.  After all, true comprehension comes by doing.

I take all this to mean I need to incorporate time for listening into my scripture study ritual.  After all, hearing and receiving instructions requires time.  My focus cannot be checking off the box next to this daily ritual appearing on my to-do list.  After all, your focus determines your reality.  My focus must be on acquiring the information the Spirit conveys to those who listen.

Walk

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That brings us to the third element in the peace formula — “walk in the meekness of my Spirit.”  I understand this phrase to mean more than simply following instructions.  It means incorporating truth into one’s lifestyle.

The ultimate purpose in gaining mastery of gospel principles is to deepen discipleship, to become a more effective servant of the Prince of Peace Who we have covenanted to serve.  And the promise to those who follow this three-step process of learning, listening, and walking is peace in Christ.

What a wonderful promise!  For me, the best part is it’s not conditioned on marital status.  We LDS singles can have peace in the midst of our challenges.  It all starts with a solid scripture study ritual, then continues with sensitivity to the Spirit and adopting the truth we learn into our lifestyles.  You might say peace comes from scriptures, Spirit, and assimilation.

Obtaining peace from the Prince of Peace won’t necessarily eliminate our troubles.  But it will help us to approach them with confidence and faith that all is in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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The spirit over the body

3/25/2020

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By digging a little deeper, we can find messages that apply to singles.  And they all center around the idea of giving control to the spirit over the body.
With all the craziness COVID-19 has created, I can’t wait for Conference.  And so I went back to the last Conference to recapture that spirit I long to feel again.

In so doing, I encountered a real gem with great applicability to current times.  In his address entitled “Giving Our Spirits Control Over Our Bodies,” President M Russell Ballard spoke of emphasizing our spiritual nature in our mortal journey.  I thought the address would be appropriate with Fast Sunday coming up this weekend.

But the applicability extends beyond fasting.  I see application that can help LDS singles live more joyful lives — even their best lives.
Over the years I’ve occasionally heard LDS singles complain that the Brethren don’t address singles and singles issues very often in Conference.  I strongly disagree.  True, they don’t always package their content with wrappings identifying their offerings “For Singles.”  But if you dig a little deeper and really think about what’s being said, you can find many messages in every Conference that apply to singles.

Such are President Ballard’s remarks.  By digging a little deeper, we can find messages that apply to singles.  And they all center around the idea of giving control to the spirit over the body.

Remember God’s plan

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President Ballard began by reminiscing over the previous year and his Conference address in October 2018 about the 100th anniversary of Joseph F. Smith’s vision of the spirit world.

Note that was October 1918.  At that time, war on an unprecedented scale had ravaged the globe for the previous four years, resulting in tens of millions of deaths.  And the Spanish flu pandemic was sweeping the globe, driving the death toll even higher.  In fact, October 1918 was the deadliest month of the entire pandemic.  It truly looked like the end of days.

That’s where President Smith’s vision of the spiritual world so beautifully provides hope.  This same hope President Ballard expressed in his most recent Conference address.  Our Heavenly Father has an eternal plan for His children — that’s all of us living here on this planet as well as everyone who ever lived or will live on it.  That plan provides for reunion — that’s the word President Ballard used — uniting generations of family members together forever.

Treasure family now

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What strength and comfort that hope provides!  Though death is certain for all and death from COVID-19 is possible for many, God has prepared a way for us to be reunited with those we love most.

He has also provided opportunities for us to treasure those relationships before death.  Spending more time sequestered at home provides more opportunities for families to strengthen those treasured relationships.  And don’t think that doesn’t apply to singles without families of their own.  The only thing stopping us from reaching out to family during this time is ourselves.  President Ballard pleaded,


Brothers and sisters, please do not miss an opportunity to look into the eyes of your family members with love. Children and parents, reach out to each other and express your love and appreciation. Like me, some of you may wake up one day to discover that the time for such important communication has passed. Live each day together with hearts filled with gratitude, good memories, service, and much love.
But there’s a caveat: We don’t get a family reunion just because we have love for them.  God is as just and orderly as He is merciful and loving.  He cannot deny justice when it has its claim (Alma 42:22-25).  But President Ballard quotes President Gordon B. Hinckley who tells how we can claim the family reunion we’ll surely seek on the other side of the veil.

A few years ago, President Gordon B. Hinckley said something that is particularly meaningful about this: “How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that come from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time.”
Marrying right means marriage for time and all eternity in the house of the Lord.  Living right is an entirely different matter.  Whereas marrying right takes place within a single day, living right takes place every day over an entire lifetime.  And while singles by definition haven’t married right (because they aren’t now married), singles can strive every day to live right.

Live right

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How did President Ballard approach living right?  He referenced a talk his grandfather, Elder Melvin J. Ballard, gave entitled “Struggle for the Soul.”  In that talk, Elder Ballard addressed “the ongoing battle between our physical bodies and our physical spirits.”  President Ballard then summarized his grandfather’s talk in one sentence: “The primary battle is between our divine and spiritual nature and the carnal natural man.”

How is that battle going for you?  That’s the question President Ballard asked.  And in considering how we each might answer that question, he provided some added perspective.  He recognized our spirits have existed long before our physical bodies and that we’ve already made righteous choices before entering mortality — what President Ballard called “a proven track record of a successful spiritual nature and eternal destiny.”

He then shared these thoughts:


Think about that for a moment. This is who you and I really are and who you have always been: a son or daughter of God, with spiritual roots in eternity and a future overflowing with infinite possibilities. You are —first, foremost, and always —a spiritual being. And so when we choose to put our carnal nature ahead of our spiritual nature, we are choosing something that is contrary to our real, true, authentic spiritual selves.

Still, there’s no question that flesh and earthly impulses complicate the decision-making. With a veil of forgetfulness drawn between the premortal spirit world and this mortal world, we can lose sight of our relationship to God and our spiritual nature, and our carnal nature can give priority to
what we want right now. Learning to choose the things of the Spirit over the things of the flesh is one of the primary reasons why this earthly experience is part of Heavenly Father’s plan. It’s also why the plan is built upon the solid, sure foundation of the Atonement of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so that our sins, including the errors we make when we yield to the flesh, can be overcome through constant repentance and we can live spiritually focused. Now is the time to control our bodily appetites to comply with the spiritual doctrine of Christ. That is why we must not procrastinate the day of our repentance.
Living right is really about choosing the spirit over the body.  And that’s a choice all of us — single or married — can make every day.  We can also choose to strengthen treasured relationships now.  And when we do, that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Build support networks

2/21/2018

0 Comments

 
"Many singles programs falter because they have the wrong vision or no vision at all.  And you can’t rally anyone around a vision that either doesn’t work or doesn’t exist."
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Long-time audience members know I’m typically standoffish when it comes to social media.  Lately I’ve dipped my toe back in that pool.  That’s when I ran across a plea from another single adult.  It reads,

We have 300+ members of our Singles facebook group. We post our monthly activities regularly. We get maybe 10 people out to activities (occasionally 15). Any ideas for robustly attended activities? Our program seems to be dying here....help?
This is a common plight among singles groups everywhere, especially in areas where Latter-day Saints form a small proportion of the population.  There is a solution to this dilemma, but it’s not very common.

First, we need to ask ourselves, “What exactly are we trying to accomplish?  How are we defining success?”  Once we have that definition, we need to evaluate it, because our definition of success may not be the one we need to have.

With the right definition of success in play, your next steps are developing a vision and then aligning everyone with that vision.  Many singles programs falter because they have the wrong vision or no vision at all.  And you can’t rally anyone around a vision that either doesn’t work or doesn’t exist.

How do these steps typically play out?  Let’s examine that.

Define your success

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I’ve got a few years experience as both a ward and stake single adult rep, so I’ve sat in plenty of those meetings where activities and singles issues are discussed.  I’ve also shared experiences with numerous singles groups leaders at conferences.

One pattern I’ve found is the typical definition of success.  Most singles leaders define success by attendance; the more people who come, the more successful the activity.  But what’s really going on here?  Does a bigger number really mean more success?

In my experience, bigger numbers are simply a bigger stroke to the ego of those who organized and sponsored the activity.  That doesn’t really help anyone live a better life.

If we can put our egos aside, we can more easily recognize that the Savior focused on only one number: the number one.  He was always concerned about the individual.  In fact, most of the stories we have of Him ministering to others involves His interaction with an individual person.

If we define success in terms of touching or improving the life of at least one individual, then it doesn’t matter how many people attend.  Success will always be within our grasp.  And paradoxically, it lays the foundation for explosive growth in the numbers.

Develop your vision

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In Proverbs 29:18 we read, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  That’s just as true for singles groups as it is for anyone else.

Typically, LDS singles attend activities with one of two visions — the dating forum or the activity club.  I’ve spoken about each of these at length in previous posts, but here’s a brief review.

The dating forum perspective sees singles activities solely as a means to find an eternal companion.  If they don’t see anyone they want to date, people don’t attend.  Then there’s the activity club.  This is the group that’s tired of dating and just wants to have fun with friends.

The problem with both of these approaches is their inward focus.  Singles with either of these perspectives invariably focus on serving themselves.  Contrast that with the more effective approach of the support network — attending activities with the purpose of supporting other singles.  That outward focus aligns much better with the path of discipleship our Savior marked.

When everyone adopts the attitude of the support network, people feel they’re part of something bigger than themselves.  They have a contribution to make that can improve the life of someone else.  And losing themselves in service, they find themselves enjoying life a lot more.

Build the network

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What I’m describing won’t happen overnight.  That’s because it’s not some quick-fix, fly-by-night fairy dust.  This is a real solution that really works.

While I lived on the East Coast, our activity attendance increased by 10X in one year.  But more important than that, our exchanges with each other were more real.  We were genuinely concerned about each other, despite coming from different generations and backgrounds.  Our activities weren’t about completing a calendar or checking a box on a to-do list.  Rather our activities were about supporting LDS singles.

That’s the driver behind real growth — love.  People respond to love.  Feeling loved is one of our most deeply seated needs as individual children of God.  When you love the people into a support network, they’ll join you.

The dating forum and the activity club make very poor primary drivers behind participation.  We best help ourselves and everyone else when we discard our individual agendas for attending singles activities.

People have needs.  When we align what we do with meeting the needs of the people, we’ll find the true success that the Savior marked.  And that will bring more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode!
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Light the world again

12/6/2017

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"Lighting the world will also light our world.  Only by putting the gospel into action by living it will we ever know how real it really is.  Only by setting that example can we light the way for others to know that for themselves as well."
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The Christmas season is now in full swing upon us once again.  It’s time once more for yuletide cheer and merriment.  This is my favorite time of year.

Of course, along with the traditions we each practice with the season, we should always remember the reason for the season.  Good thoughts and deeds are always appropriate and even more so as we remember He who gave us the best example of good thoughts and deeds.

It was He who taught “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).  To that end, last year the Church promoted a campaign aimed at sharing the light we have with everyone around us during the Christmas season.  Appropriately, it was called Light the World.

This year the Church has renewed that campaign.  And I can’t think of a more appropriate way to celebrate the real reason for the season.

Learn it

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As it did last year, Light the World focuses on individual action.  The Church provides leadership in the form of short videos explaining ways to light the world during each of the 25 days of Christmas.  These videos and the corresponding calendar show how we can individually light the world.

I just love this bare-bones campaign.  It fosters an effort that depends upon us for success.  And that encourages us to live the gospel — really live it by putting it into action.

The Master taught, “Ye shall know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16).  Our actions tell everyone who we really are.  For what will we be known?  Will those around us know us for the goodness we have?  How can that happen if we don’t share the goodness we have?

Lighting the world will also light our world.  Only by putting the gospel into action by living it will we ever know how real it really is.  Only by setting that example can we light the way for others to know that for themselves as well.

Love it

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I love the gospel more when I live to set that good example.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know God is good and will bless us abundantly.  That goodness is easier both to see and to feel when we actively participate in spreading that love to others.

People don’t light candles to hide them but rather to provide light so all may see (Matthew 5:15).  In like manner, we should freely bring goodness into the world so that others can see and feel the love of God in their lives.  When we do, we can’t help but love our lives more.

Just like last year, the Church has provided help with their Light the World calendar.  Each day has suggestions of ways to spread goodness and thereby light the world.  In addition, we can adopt our own ideas for action.

I’ve discussed previously my tradition of closing out the year by studying the Sermon on the Mount.  I’ve felt love in my heart grow as I’ve taken daily action in response to my Sermon on the Mount study.  Most of my actions have been small in nature, but the added light I feel inside of me has been substantial.  How can any honest soul not love that?

Live it

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That seems to be at least some of the intention behind Light the World, and I love it.  We make the gospel more real by actually living it.  And anyone who has read my posts since 2014 knows I’m all about real.

Of course, that reality doesn’t have to stop with the coming of Christmas Day, nor should it.  We can feel God’s love every day by continuing to share that love with others every day.  The Church’s Light the World calendar is a great aid during the 25 days leading to Christmas, but what’s to stop any of us from making our own calendar for every day of December and any other month of the year?  Only ourselves.

It’s only by living true principles that we come to feel their reality in our lives.  It’s only by giving love to others that we can feel the full extent of love in our own lives.  We can choose for ourselves what light we will give to others.  When we live true to that conviction to bring goodness into the world every day, we’ll have more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the host of Joy In The Journey Radio read this blog post by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. And be sure to catch the latest episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the Recent Shows page!
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Be perfect eventually

11/29/2017

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"Elder Holland reminds us that no one is perfect.  That means the eternal companion you’re looking for is imperfect.  If you go about looking for perfection, you’ll not likely find your eternal companion because that imperfect person will never fit your insistence on perfection."
You gotta love Elder Jeffrey R Holland in General Conference.  His latest Conference address “Be Ye Therefore Perfect— Eventually” is no exception.  What a wonderful message of relief!  Our LDS culture encourages personal improvement, yet the approach of some produces more mayhem and misery than enlightenment and empowerment.
It wouldn’t be so bad if we’d stop comparing ourselves unfairly.  Whether against other people or some idealized standard, many Latter-day Saints feel they fall short of what and where they should be.

And many of those Latter-day Saints are single.  They look at their lives and think they should be married by now.  It’s then easy to jump to the conclusion that something must be wrong with them and that’s why they’re still single.

Other LDS singles reach a corollary conclusion with just as much erroneous logic.  They believe they’re not good enough — not handsome or pretty enough, not funny enough, not cool enough, not whatever enough.  If only they were a more attractive person, they reason, then they wouldn’t be stuck in their single status.

That’s why I love Elder Holland’s remarks.  He reminds us that we are good enough, that we don’t need to bridge today the entire distance between where we are and where we want to be, that our journey can be joyful if we improve our approach to it.  We can be perfect . . . eventually.

Lighten up

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That last word eventually is key.  It reminds us that our journey is more than just a few steps.  Our journey comprises many, many steps — more than we can possibly take in this mortal life.  Perfection, the final result of reaching our final destination, won’t come in this life.

Why then give us the commandment to be perfect?  Elder Holland believes at least one reason is to give glory to God and show what we can achieve in the eternities to come.  Knowing the perfection of God can create gratitude that our imperfections need not be the end of us.  God in his perfection will make up for what we lack.

Of course, that doesn’t justify ignoring our covenants.  Elder Holland explains,

I hasten to say that focusing on the Father’s and the Son’s achievements rather than our own failures does not give us one ounce of justification for undisciplined lives or dumbing down our standards.  No, from the beginning the gospel has been “for the perfecting of the saints, ... till we ... come ... unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”  I am simply suggesting that at least one purpose of a scripture or a commandment can be to remind us just how magnificent “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” really is, inspiring in us greater love and admiration for Him and a greater desire to be like Him.

“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him ... ,” Moroni pleads.  “Love God with all your might, mind and strength, then ...
by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.” Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven—we can’t “earn” it.  Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.
How often do we LDS singles criticize ourselves for whatever failings we have?  When we let go of our need to be perfect now, we’ll find it easier to let go of our repeating patterns of self-criticism.

Look for good enough

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Elder Holland reminds us that “except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing.”  He then advocates avoiding excessive expectations for achieving perfection in others as well as in ourselves.

That got me thinking.  Many LDS singles expect perfection in the eternal companion they seek.  They create this ideal that very few if any could actually reach.  After all, you don’t want to spend eternity with imperfect.  But by limiting their prospective candidate pool, they limit their probability of success.  They make it harder to find that eternal companion.

Elder Holland reminds us that no one is perfect.  That means the eternal companion you’re looking for is imperfect.  If you go about looking for perfection, you’ll not likely find your eternal companion because that imperfect person will never fit your insistence on perfection.

Since the person you seek is not perfect, then you should really be looking for good enough.  That doesn’t mean you have no standards.  Good enough implies that some standards have been met.  You just don’t want so many standards that you reduce your likelihood of success too much.  Having standards that are too exacting can yield the same result.  Balance is the key.

Be willing

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When we partake of the sacrament each week, we do not pledge to be perfect.  We do not witness we’ll take upon ourselves the name of Christ, always remember him, and keep his commandments.  We witness we are willing to do these things (see D&C 20:77).

That pledge of willingness allows space for slips and failings.  We strive for perfection while at the same time forgiving both ourselves and others for shortcomings.

If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need saving.  So we don’t need to be perfect to be saved.  We just need to be good enough — good enough to receive the gift of grace that bridges any gap.  And if we just need to be good enough, then that’s all anyone else needs to be as well.

I love Elder Holland’s concluding remarks:

Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living.  If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human.  May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness.  If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.
May we all stop looking for perfection in this mortal life while never stopping to strive after it as part of our more eternal journey.  When we do, we’ll have more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the host of Joy In The Journey Radio read this blog post by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. And be sure to catch the latest episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the Recent Shows page!
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Have a care

11/8/2017

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"One of the purposes of prayer is to build a relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Which approach is more conducive towards fostering that relationship?  Approaching someone to speak only of your needs and wants?  Or approaching someone to speak of his or her needs and wants?"
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Last week we discussed our need to continue looking for the answers we need in our lives no matter how long it takes.  Certainly that process will involve prayer.

If your prayers are anything like mine have more often been, you’ll be quite familiar with the checklist exercise.  Even if you begin by thanking God for your blessings, your prayers can still be rote activities in which you repeat the same vain desires for your life to be better.

Is there a way to take prayer up a notch?  Of course there is!  The answer lies in the Sermon on the Mount.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the Sermon on the Mount may be the best handbook ever written on discipleship.  I’ve also described an annual tradition I have of studying the Sermon on the Mount during the last 40 days of the year as a way to renew my own discipleship of the Master.

This tradition has benefited me greatly.  One of those benefits has been insights into taking my prayers to the next level.  Here’s one such insight: If you want to take your prayers to the next level, have a care for His work.

Thy Kingdom come

The Savior gave His disciples a model for prayer that has since become known as the Lord’s Prayer.  He begins thus:
     After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
     Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
     Give us this day our daily bread.
     And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
     And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. (Matthew 6:9–14)

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The first words (“after this manner”) indicate that what follows is a model.  Examining each part of this model reveals its structure: First comes an acknowledgment of God and His work.  Then comes a pleading for our needs, both temporal and spiritual.  The final part connects with the first by again acknowledging God.

Thanking God for our blessings is one way to say, “Hallowed be thy name.”  But what comes after — “Thy kingdom come” — is something few of us practice.  We rarely discuss with Him our own individual participation in His work.  And yet it is one of the key practices for taking our prayers to the next level.

The better approach

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It makes sense when you think about it.  One of the purposes of prayer is to build a relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Which approach is more conducive towards fostering that relationship?  Approaching someone to speak only of your needs and wants?  Or approaching someone to speak of his or her needs and wants?

Obviously it’s the latter.  Yet so many of our prayers are more the former.  We disburse a list of everything God needs to do for us so that our lives will be better.

Yet how better would our lives really be if we approached Him to discuss His needs and wants?  We know what those are.  “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).  Is it any wonder that the Master first taught His disciples “Thy kingdom come” before teaching them “Give us this day our daily bread”?

This of course doesn’t mean we should never bring our own needs and wants before our Maker.  We just shouldn’t lead with it.  You build a relationship with someone by having an outward focus, and that means leading with their needs and wants, not yours.

Advance His work

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God’s work is so expansive that the possibilities for our prayers are truly endless.  That’s quite fitting since Endless is His name (D&C 19:10).

You could talk about those who you home teach or visit teach.  You could discuss your efforts to find the names of your ancestors and provide them with the opportunity to have the ordinances of salvation and exaltation.  You could talk about your member missionary activities.  Or you could discuss your current calling in your ward or stake.

Perhaps you’re struggling with bringing an inactive member of your ward or your family back into Church activity.  You could even discuss your own personal ministry.  Every effort to bring goodness into the world advances God’s work.  And I’ve long advocated partnering with the Lord to embrace your own personal ministry.

Whatever aspect of God’s work you choose for your focus as you lead your prayers, you’ll notice an immediate change in the quality of your prayers as you begin with a care for His work.  That’s been my experience.

If you want to get out of a repetitive prayer rut, or you just want to improve your prayers, trying having a care for His work.  The increase in the quality of your prayers will result in an improved your relationship with your Heavenly Father that you can feel.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the host of Joy In The Journey Radio read this blog post by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. And be sure to catch the latest episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the Recent Shows page!
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Never a happier time

10/11/2017

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"Is Mormon really picking this time as the happiest among the entire Nephite history because this is when their equivalent to Captain America had his adventures in mortality?  Again, what was it about this time that made it the happiest?"
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Over the years, I’ve thought about Mormon’s description of the Nephite people in Alma 50:23: “But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges.”  More recently, I’ve pondered upon these questions:


  1. What was it about this time that made it the happiest?
  2. What lessons can I apply to my life as a single Latter-day Saint?

It’s no surprise to learn Mormon picks this time out of the roughly 1000-year history of his people.  His descriptions of Captain Moroni reveal Mormon as a huge fan of the young commander.  Giving his son the same name, Mormon likely admired him as a sort of mentor, since they both held the same military position.

But is Mormon really picking this time as the happiest among the entire Nephite history because this is when their equivalent to Captain America had his adventures in mortality?  Again, what was it about this time that made it the happiest?  Let’s examine that.

Preparing for war

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The year 69 AD saw the Nephite nation living under the threat of war.  Just two years previous, Amalickiah was defeated after gaining the Lamanite throne by deceit and waging an unsuccessful military campaign to subjugate the Nephites.

Captain Moroni spent the following year preparing his nation for war.  He knew Amalickiah would return, and he wanted his people to be ready.  They built new, fortified cities as well as fortified those cities already in existence.

Those preparations continued on into the next year, the time when “there never was a happier time.”  We don’t know much else about that year.  The people were busy preparing for war.  How does preparing for war create the happiest time ever?

Mormon’s commentary may provide a clue.  He gets sidetracked talking about how Nephite history has verified the Lord’s promises.  Troubles always came to the people when they forgot God and abandoned their covenants.

On the other hand, those who remembered their covenants were always delivered.  Immediately after this observation, Mormon comments that this time was the happiest ever since the days of Nephi.  Could this observation have something to do with creating that happy situation?

Remembering the founder

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Nephi himself described his people in his day living “after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27).  What exactly does that mean?

Nephi had separated himself from his older brothers because they sought to kill him.  Nephi didn’t leave alone; he took with him “those who believed in the warnings and the revelations of God” (2 Nephi 5:6).  In other words, Nephi left with those who wanted to make and keep sacred covenants with God.

And what did they do once they established their separate community?  Nephi’s words explain it all:

... we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things, according to the law of Moses.
     And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly; for we did sow seed, and we did reap again in abundance. And we began to raise flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind.
     And I, Nephi, had also brought the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass; and also the ball, or compass, which was prepared for my father by the hand of the Lord, according to that which is written.
     And it came to pass that we began to prosper exceedingly, and to multiply in the land.
     And I, Nephi, did take the sword of Laban, and after the manner of it did make many swords, lest by any means the people who were now called Lamanites should come upon us and destroy us; for I knew their hatred towards me and my children and those who were called my people.
     And I did teach my people to build buildings, and to work in all manner of wood, and of iron, and of copper, and of brass, and of steel, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious ores, which were in great abundance.
     And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land, wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon’s temple. But the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine.
     And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cause my people to be industrious, and to labor with their hands. (2 Nephi 5:10–17)

Here Nephi describes two main activities:
  1. They were mindful about keeping their covenants with the Lord.
  2. They were industrious in meeting their temporal needs.

We see the same activities among the Nephites in 69 AD.  They were certainly industrious as they built new cities and fortified existing ones.  And Mormon’s commentary suggests they were probably turning to the Lord.  Why else would he have thought to insert that commentary?

Taking a lesson

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What lesson here can LDS singles apply to their lives?  Even though they lived under the threat of war, the Nephites were happiest when they were mindful about keeping their covenants with the Lord and industrious in meeting their temporal needs.  LDS singles can follow that example.

We singles may lack the covenant of marriage in our lives, but we’ve made other covenants at baptism and in the temple.  Holding fast to those covenants we have made can provide strength to endure well the challenges of our lives.

Temple service in particular can provide perspective to see the opportunity amidst the obstacles.  Nephi mentioned having a temple, and I’m sure it wasn’t just for decoration.  We singles should do what we can to include the temple more in our own lives.

We singles can also be industrious in meeting our temporal needs.  This industrious attitude can and should extend to our own personal ministries.  God gives each of us gifts so we can contribute to His work.  By focusing on utilizing those gifts in our own personal ministry, we bless our own lives by blessing the lives of others.

The Nephites lived their happiest time when they filled their days with devotion to the Lord and hard work.  We LDS singles can have our happiest time when we follow that example.  And that will bring more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the host of Joy In The Journey Radio read this blog post by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. And be sure to catch the latest episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the Recent Shows page!
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    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

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