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Let gratitude heal you

11/25/2020

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. . . when you follow the Prophet, God’s blessings will always follow you.
Thanksgiving has always been a day for reflecting on my blessings and relishing in my gratitude for those blessings.  But this year I’m more grateful than ever for a living prophet of God.  President Nelson’s recent message to the world on the healing power of gratitude took my relish to a whole new level.  With all the chaos in the world today, I felt an immense measure of peace in hearing God’s living Prophet speak of goodness and gratitude.

Does gratitude quell the pains of sorrow, anger, and loss?  No, it does not, and President Nelson acknowledged that truth.  But he also acknowledged another truth: The healing we seek from our pain cannot come to us without gratitude.  That’s because gratitude changes us into a state that allows healing to begin.  Without that change of state brought by gratitude, we’re simply not able to accept the healing we need.
In his message to the world, President Nelson taught “Counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems.”  To help us integrate that teaching into our lives, President Nelson suggested two specific actions:
  1. Turn social media into your own gratitude journal for 7 days.
  2. Say a prayer of gratitude.
These suggestions may appear to have little efficacy, but when you follow the Prophet, God’s blessings will always follow you.  So follow the Prophet, and let gratitude heal you.

The social media gratitude journal

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Social media has never resonated much with me.  I recognize its benefits, like keeping up with family and friends as well as increased communication that otherwise would be difficult if not downright impossible.  I’ve just never felt the need to integrate everything about my life with social media.  I resonate much more with connections in the real world.

Yet I don’t feel that way about President Nelson’s invitation to use social media as a gratitude journal.  Contrary to my usual response, President Nelson’s invitation resonates greatly with me.  From the moment I first heard his 7-day challenge, I felt a desire to embrace it.  And that desire felt completely natural.

I of course have no idea what will result from my participation in that challenge.  Maybe something big will happen.  Or maybe not much of anything will appear to happen at all.  But that doesn’t matter.  What matters is that good men and women stand up and push goodness into the world to fight back against the emboldened evil that President Nelson declared in the last General Conference abounds.  That goodness begins with gratitude.

Prayers of gratitude

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From my own experience, the best way to begin to embrace gratitude is through prayer.  I’ve spoken before about my habit of devoting my morning prayers to gratitude, and that one simple change in my daily routine has greatly transformed my life for the better.

About two years ago I adopted a habit of including in my morning prayers only expressions of thanks.  I intentionally do not ask for anything; I simply give thanks for what I’ve received.  Over time, those prayers have grown to include thanks for blessings not yet received.  At first, it was difficult; my mind wasn’t trained to think in strict terms of thanksgiving.  But repeated attempts brought that training, and the effect has been life-changing.

Hearing others express gratitude in prayer can open us to a new level of gratitude.  I was greatly touched by hearing the Prophet pray and express gratitude for the many blessings we all enjoy everywhere every day.  The wonders of nature, the glorious workings of the human body, and the beauty of art, literature, and music all bring joy in life.  Focusing on expressions of gratitude invites us to open ourselves more to that joy.

The next step

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The Prophet has spoken, and now the next step for all of us is to follow the Prophet.  Take his challenge to express gratitude in social media every day for seven days, and then see whether you feel happier.  And begin to express more gratitude in your prayers to God.

When we were Primary children, many of us sang, “Follow the Prophet. He knows the way!”  I know that President Nelson is the Prophet for us today, and in his recent message to the world, he has shown us the way.  That way is gratitude.

Let us each claim the blessings of peace and healing that God wants to bestow upon us.  When you let gratitude heal you, you can feel peace in a chaotic world.  You can salve the wounds of hate.  You can find victory in defeat and abundance in loss.  Best of all, you can feel more of the love God has for you as His child.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Let God prevail

11/18/2020

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LDS singles are abundantly blessed when they submit their will to God’s and let God prevail in their life.
I’ve been thinking recently about what the Prophet said in the last General Conference, and especially from his Sunday morning address entitled “Let God Prevail.”  He tackled multiple topics, relating all of them to the gathering of Israel.  And I think his treatment has special interest for LDS singles.

President Nelson declared that the gathering of Israel is “the most important work in the world!”  He went on to talk about missionary and temple and family history work — the typical ways we think of gathering Israel — but he also mentioned that building faith in those around us counts as well.  “Anytime we do anything,” he declared, “that helps anyone —on either side of the veil —to make and keep their covenants with God, we are helping to gather Israel.”
That perspective transforms everything about the Lord’s work into gathering Israel.  It makes sense when you consider President Nelson’s observation that “one of the Hebraic meanings of the word Israel is ‘let God prevail.’ Thus the very name of Israel refers to a person who is willing to let God prevail in his or her life.”  And indeed, LDS singles are abundantly blessed when they submit their will to God’s and let God prevail in their life.

The key portion

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I love the story President Nelson shares about Jill.  Struggling with her father’s approaching death and her own questions regarding testimony, Jill was at first startled to hear President Nelson describe her perspective as “myopic.”  But further reflection on that word led her to embracing God’s will, adopting a more eternal perspective, and finding peace.  These blessings came to her as she let God prevail in her life.

Of course, the key portion of President Nelson’s message applies to all, though I think it has particular application for LDS singles.  After rightfully decrying the prejudice of racism, President Nelson declared,


The question for each of us, regardless of race, is the same. Are you willing to let God prevail in your life? Are you willing to let God be the most important influence in your life? Will you allow His words, His commandments, and His covenants to influence what you do each day? Will you allow His voice to take priority over any other? Are you willing to let whatever He needs you to do take precedence over every other ambition? Are you willing to have your will swallowed up in His?
With all the voices in our crazy modern world, are you willing to open your ears to God’s voice more than any other?  Are you willing to put His work ahead of your own desires, even righteous desires like securing an eternal companion?  Will you walk away from someone you love who wants to marry you if God says no?  Will you submit your will to His even when it seems completely crazy and makes absolutely no sense to do so?  Will you let God prevail in your life?

Guidance for dating

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President Nelson then begins applying those key questions to different situations.  And the first situation he tackles?  Being single.  He said, “If you are unmarried and seeking an eternal companion, your desire to be ‘of Israel’ will help you decide whom to date and how.”

When I first encountered those words, I wondered why President Nelson did not expound upon them.  How exactly does my desire to be “of Israel” help me decide whom to date when choosing between two active Church members?  And then there’s the bigger question: How does my desire to be “of Israel” help me decide how to proceed with dating?

In reflecting upon these questions, I realized President Nelson didn’t expound more upon them because he doesn’t need to.  Do you remember when in 2018 he said this?


. . . in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.
In that same address about revelation, President Nelson taught,

To be sure, there may be times when you feel as though the heavens are closed. But I promise that as you continue to be obedient, expressing gratitude for every blessing the Lord gives you, and as you patiently honor the Lord’s timetable, you will be given the knowledge and understanding you seek. Every blessing the Lord has for you —even miracles —will follow. That is what personal revelation will do for you.
When you submit your will to God’s, you position yourself to understand better how you should navigate the seas of your singleness.  That’s why, coming back to the present address, we find President Nelson teaching this:

When your greatest desire is to let God prevail, to be part of Israel, so many decisions become easier. So many issues become non-issues! You know how best to groom yourself. You know what to watch and read, where to spend your time, and with whom to associate. You know what you want to accomplish. You know the kind of person you really want to become.

Focus becomes reality

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Most of the time, it really is a matter of perspective.  Our focus does indeed become our reality.  When we let God prevail in our lives, we focus upon His objectives.  And because His work and glory is our salvation and exaltation (Moses 1:39), that focus brings us the most joyful reality.

Doing the work to let God prevail isn’t easy, of course.  Surrendering one’s will to God never has been and never will be easy.  President Nelson acknowledges this truth:


Now, my dear brothers and sisters, it takes both faith and courage to let God prevail. It takes persistent, rigorous spiritual work to repent and to put off the natural man through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It takes consistent, daily effort to develop personal habits to study the gospel, to learn more about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and to seek and respond to personal revelation.

During these perilous times of which the Apostle Paul prophesied, Satan is no longer even trying to hide his attacks on God’s plan. Emboldened evil abounds. Therefore, the only way to survive spiritually is to be determined to let God prevail in our lives, to learn to hear His voice, and to use our energy to help gather Israel.

There’s so much more I want to get into here,  but limitations force me to defer that discussion to later in the broadcast.  Here’s the bottom line: When you let God prevail in your life, you’ll understand more clearly what really matters in God’s plan.  You’ll see more clearly the path leading to your greatest happiness now and in eternity.  And you’ll feel more of God’s love strengthening you to walk that path.

So let God prevail in your life.  You’ll see the miracle your life can become when you do.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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A new tradition

11/11/2020

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Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.
I tend to get reflective now and then.  It’s just how I’m constructed.  And lately I’ve been reflecting on a tradition I adopted a few years ago to improve my walk in the covenant path.

I’ve spoken before about my tradition of spending the last 40 days of the year studying and applying the Sermon on the Mount.  Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.

This year I’ve determined to take this to the next level by involving other people.  I don’t know anyone will join me, but I feel I need to attempt it all the same.  I’ll of course provide resources to help bring the group together and walk through the tradition.  And who knows?  Maybe I’ll  get enough people to do this with me every year that something old turns into a new tradition.

How it works

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Here’s how the 40 days work.  Every day, the schedule lists a portion of the Sermon on the Mount to study for that day.  That might be a single verse or several verses.

The schedule provides the section as recorded in Matthew and 3 Nephi as well as other relevant references for comparison.  The end result is a foundation of scriptures to compare at the start of the daily practice.  You read, compare, examine, and reflect.

Then you commit to applying during the course of that day what you’ve learned.  You go through your day, completing your commitment.  At the end of the day, you “return and report” by reflecting on your experience and writing about how it changed you.

Then the next day, you repeat the process with a new verse or section of verses as detailed in the schedule.  You do this for 39 days.  On Day #40, you reflect upon and write about your experience as a whole.

The next level

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I can’t speak highly enough of how this tradition has helped me draw closer to my Savior and become more truly His.  It’s not just study.  It’s a continual process of learn, do, and reflect that creates a journey similar to an ever expanding spiral staircase.

I’ve always shared this tradition with others.  But this year my growth requires me to invite others to walk each of the 40 days with me.  By walking as a group together, we can strengthen and support each other.

To that end, I’m announcing some changes for Joy in the Journey Radio.  First, I’ll provide for free the schedule for the 40-day journey.  Look to the end of the monologue blog post.

Second, to help those who want an extra aid, I’ll provide a workbook as a guide for walking through each of the 40 days.  Everything you need for each step of each day will be there, including side-by-side scripture comparisons, space for writing, and suggested commitments for application.  Because Amazon provides the best way to provide this workbook in the most useful format, you’ll have to buy it.  But I’ll keep the price as low as Amazon will allow.

Third, I’m going to devote the Joy in the Journey Radio Facebook page to this tradition.  During each of the 40 days, I’ll post the relevant scriptures along with something extra like my commitment for that day or some thoughts about the verse(s) for that day.  Others can then share what they learned or experienced, allowing everyone to be strengthened by each other’s journey.  And as always, joining and participating in the Facebook group is free.

Let’s walk together

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I’m not sure how I’ll manage this group in addition to all of my other responsibilities.  My calling and my schooling by themselves take significant time.  But I feel strongly I need to pursue this, and so I step out with faith the Lord will provide for me.

Day #1 is November 22, so don’t delay getting involved, especially if you want the workbook to guide you along.  Get the schedule and join the Facebook page.  You’ll see what I call the holy trinity of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day) in a whole new light.  And deepening your discipleship is a great way to end the current year and begin a new one.

For all of us, 2020 has been an absolutely crazy year.  So come join me in adopting a new tradition.  Let’s end 2020 together by engaging a journey that will deepen our discipleship, bring us closer to the Savior, and help us feel more of His love as we strengthen and support each other.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
Sermon on the Mount 40-Day Schedule
File Size: 317 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

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Your standards keep you single

11/4/2020

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. . . if you insist on believing you’ll be happy only with the most attractive companion, then you’re letting your standards keep you single.
Recently while reading comments in a Facebook singles group, some of the participants in the conversation seemed to have a faulty assumption.  As I sat back and reflected for a moment, I quickly realized this faulty assumption has widespread acceptance among many LDS singles everywhere.

If you’ve read my book on habits, you know how your assumptions lead to your reality.  Faulty assumptions promote less effective thinking, which produces less effective actions, which creates a less-than-desired reality.  Conversely, true assumptions by the same route lead to a more desired reality.  So it’s important to examine your assumptions.

And what’s the faulty assumption I see accepted widely among LDS singles?  It’s the idea that only the very best in a romantic partner can produce happiness.  Under this belief, settling for anything less than the most attractive will lead to an unhappy and unfulfilled life.
Many singles hold to that assumption under the guise of having standards.  They seem to see themselves acting nobly in a chaotic dating world by adhering to their standard that insists on only the best.  But such standards actually impede progress in one’s dating journey.  So if you insist on believing you’ll be happy only with the most attractive companion, then you’re letting your standards keep you single.

The falsity

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How does one progress in dating?  As I discuss in my upcoming book about dating, to progress to each next stage of the journey, you must make an agreement.  No agreement means no progress.  Period.

In the first stage of the dating journey, you meet new people and build friendships.  In the next stage, you casually date candidates you’ve befriended.  These activities require openness to social interactions.  Otherwise, you’ll likely never get the agreement you need to progress from friendship to casual dating and on to exclusive dating.

But assuming you can be happy in life only if your partner is the “best” or most attractive type limits those interactions.  That faulty assumption will encourage you to engage only with those who meet your standards, because what’s the point, after all, in “wasting your time” with people who simply won’t do romantically because they aren’t the “best”?

God’s plan

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Mathematically, it just isn’t possible for everyone to have the “best.”  Yet many singles cling tenaciously to the hope they’ll be one of the few to score just such a life partner.  After all, no one wants to accept an unhappy and unfulfilled life.

But happiness in marriage doesn’t come from what each partner has.  Happiness in marriage comes from what each partner gives to each other.  And what you give is a choice.

If your partner has to be the “best” or most attractive sort for you to be happy, then God must have really messed up His plan.  Check out these words from then Elder Gordon B Hinckley.


   The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . . .
   Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

How can God’s plan provide happiness for all His children if 90% of people aren’t the “best” but just ordinary?  Mathematically, 90% of singles can’t each have monogamous marriage with someone from the top 10%.  At least 80% of singles will be left unhappy if only the “best” makes a happy life.  Because God wants all his children to be happy, clearly happiness must be available without having the most attractive partner.

The truth

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And happiness is available to those couples who place honoring sacred covenants above personal desires by giving themselves fully to each other.  Your companion doesn’t need to be the “best” or most attractive for you to give all of yourself to that person.  Granted, it’s more easy to do the more attractive your companion is, but it’s not essential for happiness.

The resistance many feel when confronted with such a choice is the natural man or natural woman in each of us.  The natural man and woman value self-gratification more than making and keeping sacred covenants.  Covenant men and women obviously reverse that value system.

I’m not saying we’re interchangeable parts.  You shouldn’t marry just anybody, and having standards does help with decision making.  Far too many LDS singles, however, insist on standards around what really isn’t essential for lasting happiness.  Elder Gerrit W Gong has taught,


Happy marriages are not the result of two perfect people saying vows. Rather, devotion and love grow as two imperfect people build, bless, help, encourage, and forgive along the way. The wife of a modern prophet was once asked what it was like being married to a prophet. She wisely replied that she had not married a prophet; she had simply married a man who was completely dedicated to the Church no matter what calling he received. In other words, in process of time, husbands and wives grow together —individually and as a couple.

The wait for a perfect spouse, perfect education, perfect job, or perfect house will be long and lonely. We are wise to follow the Spirit in life’s important decisions and not let doubts spawned by perfectionist demands hinder our progress.

Regardless of how you justify it, when you insist on having only the most attractive type of companion, your standards keep you single.  Lowering those standards to accept more candidates into your dating pool doesn’t mean sacrificing happiness.  Rather, it increases your chances of obtaining it.  So reject the natural man and woman, open yourself to possibility, and you may find the blessings you’ve been seeking have been right in front of you all along.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

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    Joy in the Journey Radio encourages the free discussion of ideas but reserves the right to remove and/or block comments which do not conform to LDS standards.

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