Create places of security I particularly like how President Nelson tied his message of preparation to the principles of preparation Captain Moroni followed. And the first principle President Nelson examines is creating places of security. President Nelson defines a place of security as “anywhere you can feel the presence of the Holy Ghost and be guided by Him.” Of the different places of security he describes — home, stakes, and temple — your home is the most important. Stakes and temples offer great spiritual security. But your home is a place of both temporal and spiritual security. It’s the place of security to which you repair most often and over which you have the most control. So what control are you exercising over your home? Is it a place to which you can resort physically, financially, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually? If you find like me that you have more work to do, then get busy. Make your home a true place of security. Prepare your mind We’ve long talked on this program about how your focus determines your reality. How you think creates the life you live. So to prepare places of security in your life, you need to prepare your mind with the right thinking. President Nelson extolled faith as the wellspring of the most effective thinking. He referenced the recent earthquake in Salt Lake to exemplify the need for a solid foundation that can withstand the spiritual shaking that comes to everyone. Faith in Jesus Christ is the ultimate spiritual foundation. As President Nelson declares, “we can stand ‘steadfast and immovable’ because of our faith.” Staying on the covenant path always increases faith. Resisting the sway of enticements to step off the covenant path requires us to exercise faith. And exercising faith always increases faith. Additionally, President Nelson proclaims “regular immersion in the Book of Mormon” as “our latter-day survival guide.” But President Nelson cited God as the ultimate source of security. Said he,
So how are you preparing your mind to create places of security? How are you exercising your faith? How often are you immersing yourself in the Book of Mormon? Are you seeking and receiving the personal revelation you need in your life? Never stop preparing These activities require constant and consistent dedication. We can’t, for example, have a single spiritual experience and expect a lifetime of spiritual security. Having places of security means always preparing them. And as President Nelson points out, Satan is nothing if not persistent, and so we can never stop preparing. “The more self-reliant we are—temporally, emotionally, and spiritually—the more prepared we are to thwart Satan’s relentless assaults.” President Nelson never said it would be easy, but he did promise “the future will be glorious for those who are prepared and who continue to prepare to be instruments in the Lord’s hands.” He then offered these words of encouragement:
Embrace the future with faith! Partner with the Lord as you prepare your own places of security in your life. Exercising more and more that faith will surround you with ever increasing levels of peace amid the turmoil to come. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
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The major challenge for me wasn’t the test itself. For me, it was keeping up with everything else. I still had to attend class, submit homework, prepare for exams, and complete all other responsibilities. Overwhelmed, I turned to the Lord for help. The resulting experience has prompted me to wonder if I really understand what it means to partner with the Lord. Surrender yourself I’ve discussed partnering with the Lord before. The essential idea has always been to embrace the Lord as a partner for your life. No matter how good you are, He can make more out of your life than you can. So it just makes sense to counsel with Him and receive guidance as you make your way through mortality. Yet my qualifying exam showed me an aspect I’d not before considered. As I collected journal articles related to my assigned topic, I began writing summaries of the articles so I could compare and identify any trends as well as gaps in the current research. But the shear quantity of content to summarize so overwhelmed me that by Day 5 it looked like I wouldn’t meet deadline. How could I write a research proposal when I hadn’t even read enough to know what research gaps existed? Not knowing where to stand, I went to my knees and pleaded with the Lord for help. I’ve offered such pleadings before, but this time was different. This time I surrendered myself completely to God, declaring a sense of dependency upon Him I truly felt inside. I could succeed only with Him. I needed Him to reveal what I should write and to guide me in finding the supporting material for that proposal among all the many articles I had collected. Receive helpThat sense of dependency took what I thought partnering with the Lord was to another level. I felt it so strongly tears freely accompanied my cries for help. I truly believed what I declared — without Him to support me, I would surely fail. I remained on my knees after concluding my prayer, listening for His voice as I wiped the tears from my face. At length I arose and returned to my desk, ready to begin working. I didn’t know what to do, but I was willing to do. It was in that moment ideas began flooding into my mind. I began to understand the direction I should take. As I acted on those ideas, more ideas came. Though the hour was late, I felt a resurgence of strength and energy fill me, allowing me to keep working on implementing the ideas coming to me. Before long, I had a rough outline. I worked all the next day to finish and then submit the written proposal. I had a similar experience with the presentation, both in preparing and delivering it. Soon afterwards, I received notice I passed the exam. Partner anew That same experience played out as I fulfilled my other responsibilities. I continued praying with that same sense of dependency. Not only were my prayers answered, but I began to feel closer to the Lord than I’ve ever felt. Pondering upon these experiences has led me to realize more what partnering with the Lord really means. It means feeling so dependent upon Him you must have His contribution to succeed. It means laying bare all you have, feel, think, and can see as evidence making the case for your dependency upon Him. And it means rising to your feet after falling to your knees and walking forward in faith He will provide according to your need. Though my experience was directed towards my studies, I recognize how this same process can apply to every area of life. Don’t wait to feel the security and support the Lord is eager to give the willing. Partner with the Lord anew, and take your relationship with Him to another level. You’ll receive what you need to move forward, and you’ll feel closer to Him than you ever have. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
The year St. Patrick died is in question (some say 461, others say 493), but all seem agreed on the day he died — March 17. St. Patrick’s Day started as a feast held annually to commemorate the man who led Ireland’s conversion to Christianity. The history of how the holiday has evolved is rather interesting, but I found one legend about St. Patrick particularly applicable to LDS singles. And that connection will have me going green on St. Patrick’s Day for years to come. See the "snakes" Multiple legends involving St. Patrick abound, but the one catching my attention involves snakes. (And yes, I can hear Indiana Jones right now saying, “Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?) As legend has it, God’s power was so manifest in St. Patrick as he preached on a hill that all the snakes simply fled from the island. That’s not likely actual truth, since snakes were never native to Ireland. But there is a Celtic legend of serpent-like spirits called nagas which supply water to trees and make streams and rivers flow. The legend of St. Patrick ridding Ireland of snakes is probably an allegory for the missionary ridding Ireland of old pagan beliefs. And that got me thinking. What “snakes” in the form of old, defunct ways of thinking do I still have? What habits continue to hold me back from living my best life? Many LDS singles stand in their own way of experiencing the joy surrounding them every day. Instead of fully living life, they live far beneath their privileges. Banish the "snakes"St. Patrick didn’t rid Ireland of “snakes” in a single day. He didn’t arrive on the Irish shore greeted by masses of eager converts. Rather he started where he was with what he had. He went from village to village, achieving success one convert at a time. With persistent dedication, over time he stepped into the conversion of the entire island. It’s not much different for LDS singles (or anyone else for that matter) struggling against the challenges of their lives. You won’t step into your best life all at once as it’s handed to you. You step into your best life one day at a time as you slowly but surely create it. And creating your best life always begins inside you. What “snakes” inside you prevent you from experiencing the joy all around you? What “spirits” do you need to remove from within you in order to recognize and receive that joy in your life? The way you think determines what you do, and what you do determines the life you live. With persistent dedication, over time you can step into your best life. Embrace your life I know this take on St. Patrick’s Day seems odd. Particularly in the United States, Canada, and Australia, St. Patrick’s Day has become associated with parades and parties. We wear green and pinch people who don’t. But behind the frolic lies a fascinating history offering insight into improving your life. And that improvement always begins with changing the way you think. Often what we need to trigger new thinking is a new experience, and St. Patrick’s Day offers many opportunities for new experiences. Delve into the history of the holiday as well as Ireland and learn something new. Or try your feet at an Irish jig. Or experiment with an Irish dish. St. Patrick’s Day offers many opportunities to have a new experience that can trigger new and different ways of thinking. Embracing such opportunities can have you going green each and every St. Patrick’s Day. And finding those opportunities every day of the year will open the door to the new ways of thinking you must embrace to experience your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Covenant men and women, on the other hand, value covenants over all else. When an opportunity to gain something desirable for themselves comes along, they choose to make and keep sacred covenants, despite whatever they may lose for themselves. They in essence say, “Something better may come along, but I choose my covenants. Here I stand, and this is it for me.” Recognize the natural That difference may seem obvious. But too many LDS singles prioritize self over sacred covenants. I’m not talking about people going inactive or apostate, although you could apply it that way. I’m talking about singles rejecting great candidates simply because they aren’t the absolute “best.” What drives this behavior? Singles mistakenly assume if they don’t marry the “best” they’ll be condemned to an unhappy future. Approaching dating with this faulty assumption, the natural mindset either ignores or rejects candidates who would make excellent companions and bring a life of real joy and happiness. That’s because natural men and women believe you must have the absolute “best” to be happy. That natural mindset also drives behaviors that give dating its all too painful reputation. For instance, ghosting wouldn’t exist without the natural mindset. Singles who ghost dating candidates essentially prioritize their own self-gratification. What they want — be it avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or pursuing a more attractive candidate — matters more than how others feel. This doesn’t mean you should always surrender to what others want. It just means you should be respectful of others as you search for the best path for you. Recognize the covenantIf the grass is always greener on the other side, natural men and women will look to get to that other side. They gladly chase after anything better for them because to them what they want matters most. In contrast, covenant men and women may see the same something better, but they value covenants above all. So if pursuing something better means breaking their covenants, they don’t pursue it. To them, making and keeping sacred covenants matters most. Now I’m not advocating marrying just anyone who’s active. You can have standards while prioritizing covenants. Suppose you’re choosing between two dating options: The first rates a 10 on a 10-point scale (with 10 being the best) but consistently pursues self-interest, and the second rates a 7 but consistently keeps covenants already made. The natural mindset urges choosing the first option, because 10 gratifies self more than 7. The covenant mindset also sees 10 is better than 7, but the covenant mindset encourages choosing the second candidate, because the covenant mindset prioritizes making and keeping sacred covenants. Now what if the second candidate rated a 3 instead? The covenant mindset could turn that candidate away, because a partner who doesn’t bring something to the table and serves as little more than filler material will make it harder to keep the covenants which the covenant mindset prizes. Clearly we need a sense of balance, but prioritizing covenants doesn’t mean other standards have no importance. Choose wisely In reality, no one of us is entirely natural or covenant. We’re all a combination of both, just as we are all mixtures of good and evil, light and darkness, strength and weakness. The real question is “Which one will dominate your choices?” Many LDS singles stand in their own way of marriage because they allow the natural man or woman to govern their dating choices. True joy in married life comes from living the covenant mindset that says, “Something better may come along, but I make my stand here. For me, this is it.” This means you could “settle” for an allegedly “lesser” candidate and yet have the maximum amount of joy life offers. So be a covenant man or a covenant woman who will say, “Something better for me may come along, but I make my stand here. For me, this is it.” When you do, you’ll find your dating life as well as your married life more enjoyable. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
These false assumptions actually create the struggle with knowing who to marry. That’s why singles looking for the presence of yes should instead look for the absence of no. Take your responsibility We’re here in mortality to exercise agency. Our choices in this life determine our situation in the next stage of our eternal journey. We therefore bear the responsibility for our choices. That’s precisely why singles who look for some significant spiritual confirmation often struggle with knowing who to marry. Insisting God provide some unmistakable sign you should marry So-and-so means God carries responsibility for that decision. That’s not how it works, so insisting it should work that way only ends in frustration. We’re here in mortality to make choices. And we have responsibility for those choices. Pushing that responsibility back to God defies His plan for His children. Insisting on some definite spiritual sign says we don’t accept So-and-so until God tells us marrying So-and-so will work out well. It pushes back to God the responsibility for our choices that rightly belongs to us. Make your choice We naturally want the security that would come from God revealing to us So-and-so is someone we should marry. But that’s not how it works. A river journey tends to go smoother when you don’t fight the current by paddling upstream. You can paddle downstream by aligning your assumptions with eternally true principles. Instead of fighting God’s design for mortality by pushing the responsibility for your choices onto Him, go with the way it’s supposed to work by accepting that responsibility. Revelation from God comes after you make your own decision and then bring that decision you made to God to seek His counsel on your decision. God will then respond with yes, no, or maybe. If He answers yes, you’ll feel the strong, unmistakable impression He approves of your decision. If He answers no, you’ll feel a similarly unmistakable impression He doesn’t approve. And if you don’t get any strong impression one way or the other, He answers maybe, which means He trusts you to make your own decision. So unless the Lord answers no, you should go forward with your decision. If He answers yes, going forward is obvious. But you should also go forward if He answers maybe. If your choice would take you too far away from where He wants you, God answers no. So when He doesn’t answer no, you can walk forward in faith following through on your decision. Only if He answers no do you need to change course. So all you really need is the absence of no. Walk in faith Singles stand in their own way when they insist on the presence of yes when approaching marriage decisions. But that faulty assumption also retards progress at any stage of the dating journey. So unless you get that overwhelming sense of no from the Spirit, you should include more people in your circle of friends, and you should casually date more of those friends more often. Especially in the early stages of the dating journey, you don’t need to receive revelation for every choice you make. Some might extend that to deciding who to marry. Regardless of how you feel about that idea, looking for the absence of no will have you making more progress more quickly in your dating journey. So if you’ve been waiting for the presence of yes before you move forward, it’s time to change your assumptions. Stop looking for the presence of yes, and start looking for the absence of no. Walk in faith the Lord will tell you when you’re traveling too far from the path He wants for you. That walk will breathe confidence in your gait as you gain more experience. With that experience, you’ll learn, grow, and make more and more better choices. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
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Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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