Something’s missing here. It’s this truth: Results come only from action. If you don’t have the results you want, you’re not taking the right action. So instead of rationalizing your way out of doing what you need to do, learn what action you should take, and then take it. Your time is now.
Give your all aright
Life won’t always go as desired. When it doesn’t, don’t just say, “Well, it must not be the Lord’s timing.” Concluding so prematurely will keep you from the real solutions you need.
Too many LDS singles use the concept of the Lord’s timing as a crutch to excuse themselves from further involvement in their own eternal progression. We all want to believe we can get what we want without making any changes in ourselves, that we just need to keep the standards and then the Lord will just deliver our desired companion when the time is right. It’s an enticing yet deceptive argument.
The universe doesn’t work that way. To reap the harvest, you must sow the seed for that harvest. To get a different harvest, you must sow different seed. And you choose what seed to sow. You can make you more attractive to your hoped for eternal companion. Giving your all to the right things always produces the right results.
Seek to do more
Ultimately, happiness is not about doing the right things but rather giving your all to the right things. Without question the standards are some of those right things. So is holding to the iron rod.
And so is eliminating habits that encourage potential companions to decide against you. So is changing the way you think so your approach to life broadcasts an attractive rather than repulsive energy. So is conquering your fears holding you back from achieving your potential. So is partnering with the Lord so you can know what steps you need to take today to turn your life around and capture all the joy He wants you to have right now.
Rushing to conclude the Lord’s timing isn’t right just because you’re still single blinds you from seeing all you can do that’s right for you. You’ll never get right results without right action. No matter how much you’ve done, there’s always more you can do.
Results come from action and only from action. Stop using the Lord’s timing as a crutch to justify inaction. You don’t get results from anything but action. Someone must act for you to get results. That someone is you, and your time is now.
Partner with the Lord
That undoubtedly irritates some of you, especially if you’ve sincerely given your all to secure your companion. And I’m not discounting the Lord’s timetable for each of our lives. He knows not only what’s right but when it’s right.
That’s why you need to partner with Him. When you do, you’ll know what you should do with the time you have now. For most LDS singles, now is the time to take action to move towards eternal blessings. It’s not just about keeping the standards. It’s changing the way you think so you embrace a new way of being that makes you more attractive.
That’s the real secret. Marriage is best pursued indirectly, not directly. When you choose to make the right changes in you, you drastically increase the likelihood someone you want will want you. Partnering with the Lord will help you know what changes are best for you to make today that will attract a brighter tomorrow.
The Lord does have a right time for each of us to receive eternal blessings. But unless you’ve got revelation your time isn’t now, you’re choosing to be single when you use the concept of the Lord’s timing to justify your own inaction. For most LDS singles, your time is now. So get busy giving your all to all the right things for you. When you do, you’ll move yourself closer to the blessings you desire. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Take God’s approach to the Creation, for example. He knew what He wanted, and He took action to make it happen. He didn’t sit around believing everything would somehow work out just because He was righteous. He took action that brought about what He wanted.
Likewise, you can sit around and pretend the blessings you want will come simply because you’re righteous. Or you can follow God’s example and take action to create your best life.
Own your life
I love how the Creation starts the scriptural record. That placement reinforces the metaphor that story is for creating your best life. And anyone can follow God’s example to do just that.
God didn’t simply start creating. He worked from a plan requiring action. In so doing, God took responsibility for producing desired results. And He remained resolute in executing that plan. How is simply staying on the covenant path hoping your blessings come “when the time is right” working from an action plan? That choice places responsibility for how your life results in God’s hands. That’s not the example God set.
To follow God’s example, own your life. Don’t push responsibility for the results in your life to anyone else. You take responsibility for your results in your life. Every result you want in life comes by obedience to its respective principle (D&C 130:20-21). Only action produces results. So get your action plan together and start taking action.
Include the right people
Many LDS singles stop here. They just don’t know the specific actions they need to take in order to produce the result they desire. It’s hard to have a plan when you don’t know what to put in the plan.
Again, let’s “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). God had helpers during the Creation. He gave them His vision of what He wanted, and then He worked with them as they together performed the Creation. God didn’t work alone and didn’t force anyone to do what He wanted. Instead, He exercised His influence and respected agency.
You shouldn’t go it alone, either. Make sure you include the right people in your action plan who’ll help you achieve your results. Of course, the most important helper in your plan should be the Lord. When you partner with Him, He can help you make more out of your life than you can without Him.
And there’s others you should consider. Family, friends, and Church leaders can provide valuable support along your journey. Especially helpful is an advocate, someone who provides counsel, support, and accountability for specific actions. Some will trust their bishop or a ministering brother or sister with that role. Others might look to a sibling or special friend. Still others might find that help in Joy in the Journey Radio, and we’re here for you if that’s your choice.
Do you see how just going through the motions of being righteous and waiting for the “right time” doesn’t match how God acts? Following His example of taking ownership, developing a plan, and then securing a team to work towards a common result will more likely produce the best life we all seek.
And yes, not everyone will be on board. Some people will disappoint you, but let’s again look to God’s example. He always respected agency. He never forced anyone to help Him achieve His plan. Instead, He chose to act in ways that would influence others positively in their choices. You can do likewise. As you achieve your potential by making needed changes in you, you can radiate an energy that will influence others positively in their choices.
So quit sitting on the sidelines and get in the game of life! You’ll never score any points unless you’re on the field. Don’t sit around pretending the blessings you want will come simply because you’re righteous. Follow God’s example, own your life, get your plan together, and take action to create your best life. When you take responsibility for your results and then take the right actions, you’ll get the right results. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Early in the broadcast I got the feeling there was an elephant in the room no one was talking about. As time progressed, it seemed participants danced around the edge of that elephant while never wanting to go so much as near it with a 50-foot pole. And here’s all the answers they gave in just two words: more church. For LDS singles in pain, more church is not the answer.
Service should heal, not cover
Don’t misunderstand. I’m not against church. I’m just recognizing for anything in life there’s less effective thinking and more effective thinking. Often broadcast participants approached the more effective perspectives LDS singles need but then refused to go all in, opting instead to dance around the edges.
Here I am watching them approach a more effective perspective, cheering them on, shouting, “Yes! Yes! Now dive on in!” only to watch them sit on the dock, smile, and say, “Just stay on the covenant path. It’ll all work out!” It left me with the amplified mixed feelings cited earlier.
Take service, for example. Service is great, but service alone is not the answer. Yes, it’s true far too many singles are far too self absorbed. Your focus determines your reality, so if you’re super focused on your problem, you’re reality will be super problematic. When you focus on the obstacle, you create a reality of obstruction, limitation, and frustration.
Service can and should be part of the solution. But just going through the motions doesn’t flip your focus, and that’s what’s needed to flip your reality. The way many push service in counseling singles turns it into a bandage, and singles feeling pain want healing, not a bandage. It’s more effective to show how service can help solve the problem. But how do you do that when you won’t even go near the elephant in the room with a 50-foot pole?
Community should be felt, not just mentioned
The idea of community is another example of broadcast participants approaching a great idea and then just dancing on the edges. I love Sister Eubank in this broadcast because she speaks from a place of experience; she’s actually living LDS singles life. But even she seemed to stop short.
I was all giddy when early in the event Sister Eubank started talking about how she loves belonging to a community. “Yes!” I screamed. “Now dive in! Talk about how we need to create and grow that sense of community! Talk about personal ministries!”
But she didn’t dive in. She backed off, leaving me to wonder what if any sense of community I and many other LDS singles can expect with the other LDS singles who live where we do. Very often, that answer is none, further feeding my mixed feelings about the broadcast.
We need more effective thinking
I’m not trying to tear down. I extremely appreciate and celebrate the Church, which hasn’t done much for this specific demographic, for finally doing something more. I just wish they’d do something more effective and not just something more.
Certainly the broadcast touched multiples times on how singles can find more joy in their journey. But many singles won’t be helped by platitudes that simply dance around the edges of more effective thinking. By itself, more church is not the answer. We’ll dive deeper in the program today into all that.
The solutions we seek won’t come at the same level of thinking that produced our problems. We need higher, more effective thinking. Service and staying on the covenant path are certainly parts of that, but they won’t get singles far who don’t live with intention and take actions designed to encourage the results they want.
Happiness is giving your all to all the right things for you. When you partner with the Lord, He can show you all that’s right for you and support you in giving your all to that all. Doing that will bless your life and the lives of those you touch. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
What an appropriate background for a broadcast tailored to singles! Many singles believe they need a miracle to move the mountains in their lives. As I studied his address in preparation for the broadcast this weekend, I could see how very appropriate President Nelson’s remarks were for singles. Truly, faith can move mountains no matter the challenge.
Start where you are
Many singles wonder how the blessings they yearn to have can ever be theirs. I love how President Nelson’s response to that reality begins with basic principles: “Everything good in life—every potential blessing of eternal significance—begins with faith.” Deny not the power of God, and your faith unlocks God’s power in your life.
I then really love how he goes to Alma’s discourse on faith in the Book of Mormon. Alma doesn’t ask us to hit a home run our first time up to bat. He simply asks us to experiment. All he asks us to do is to try.
And you don’t need anything more than what you have right here right now. President Nelson quotes Alma’s encouragement to “exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe” (Alma 32:27). You don’t need the whole toolbox of perfection. Just step forward with the portion you already have, even if that portion is simply the desire to have a portion.
And here’s the beautiful part: You don’t need to be perfect to change your life. You have everything you need to take the next step right now towards the better life you want. It starts when you believe that truth. President Nelson began his remarks on faith with that very idea. As he taught,”
The place to start is wherever you are, and you can do that today.
Isn’t that’s exactly how many singles view the challenges before them, as the tallest mountain ever? Yet Christ can give anyone the power to scale that mountain.
That happens for you when you exercise faith in Him. Faith is a principle of action, and that means you must do the work to get the result you want. President Nelson acknowledged as much when he declared,
He then lists five steps to increase faith and the access it provides to God’s power.
Whatever mountain stands before you, don’t focus on the obstacle. Look instead for the opportunity. Stand tall seeking ways in which your growing faith — even if it’s no more than a desire to have a greater portion — can grow more. As the Savior taught, “Seek, and ye shall find” (Matthew 7:7).
Faith really can move mountains. Nothing is impossible for the Lord, and He will grant you access to His power when you have faith in Him. When you do, He’ll show you the changes you need to make to secure the righteous blessings you desire. He’ll support you as you progress towards those blessings. And one day you’ll have them every one. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
But you get to choose your identity. You choose who and what you’ll be. Understanding this principle is key to making positive changes in your life. If you want to live your best life, learn how identity precedes behavior.
Understand the source
You always act consistent with who you think you are. And you’ll always feel good about yourself when who you think you are is who you think you should be.
This is self esteem, how well your self image (how you see yourself) matches your self ideal (how you think you should be). When you live up to what you think you should be, how you see yourself matches how you think you should be, yielding high self esteem. Conversely, when you see yourself very differently than what you think you should be, your self image and your self ideal don’t match. That mismatch creates a dissonance you feel as low self esteem.
Matches don’t require exactness. You don’t need to see yourself exactly as you idealize yourself. You can see yourself as mostly there and have a healthy self esteem provided you forgive yourself for coming up short. Lacking that forgiveness leads to a rigid disposition that prevents a robust sense of mental health. As in other areas of life, you don’t need perfect, just good enough.
Understand the choice
Understanding these ideas sets the stage for positive change. But to effect that change, you need to add agency into the mix.
You choose whether or not you have self-esteem. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter how well your self image matches your self ideal. That’s not the way it works. We’re all built to operate based on the match between our self image and our self ideal. But you can choose your self ideal. And you can choose to bridge whatever gap exists between your self image and your self ideal.
Our culture hands us norms that we then adopt in constructing our self ideal. For many singles, for example, that includes being married by a certain age. If you aren’t married by then, it’s easy to get down on yourself because your self image (seeing yourself as single) doesn’t match your self ideal (you should be married by now). Low self esteem leads to feeling worthless, and you won’t think any effort worthwhile when you see yourself as worthless.
But you can choose your self ideal, one that doesn’t necessitate being married by a certain age. And you can choose to bridge the gap by taking action — learn the fundamentals of the dating journey and then change yourself to become more agreeable to a potential partner.
Make your choice
When it comes to bridging the gap, Christ is the ultimate bridge builder. His Atonement allows all to cross the chasm between how we see ourselves in mortality and what we can be in the eternities. Christ can help you achieve your greatest potential.
He does this by transforming you inside, effectively changing your identity. He lifts your vision towards a higher standard and provides strength to lift your performance to match that standard. In essence, he changes your self image to match a higher self ideal.
In contrast, the world would have us lower our standards to match lower performance. Rejecting covenant living may appease the natural man and woman, but only covenant living yields the fulfillment of eternal growth. Settling for low performance always invites a medium of mediocrity. Christ wants to raise us out of that mire into a more glorious state of being.
We all want positive change in life, but you won’t act inconsistent with how you see yourself. Identity precedes behavior. So partner with the Lord and let Him lift your self image to eternal heights and strengthen you to do the daily tasks your positive change requires. Laying your daily brick will eventually result in the very fine structure that is your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
The major challenge for me wasn’t the test itself. For me, it was keeping up with everything else. I still had to attend class, submit homework, prepare for exams, and complete all other responsibilities. Overwhelmed, I turned to the Lord for help. The resulting experience has prompted me to wonder if I really understand what it means to partner with the Lord.
I’ve discussed partnering with the Lord before. The essential idea has always been to embrace the Lord as a partner for your life. No matter how good you are, He can make more out of your life than you can. So it just makes sense to counsel with Him and receive guidance as you make your way through mortality.
Yet my qualifying exam showed me an aspect I’d not before considered. As I collected journal articles related to my assigned topic, I began writing summaries of the articles so I could compare and identify any trends as well as gaps in the current research. But the shear quantity of content to summarize so overwhelmed me that by Day 5 it looked like I wouldn’t meet deadline. How could I write a research proposal when I hadn’t even read enough to know what research gaps existed?
Not knowing where to stand, I went to my knees and pleaded with the Lord for help. I’ve offered such pleadings before, but this time was different. This time I surrendered myself completely to God, declaring a sense of dependency upon Him I truly felt inside. I could succeed only with Him. I needed Him to reveal what I should write and to guide me in finding the supporting material for that proposal among all the many articles I had collected.
That sense of dependency took what I thought partnering with the Lord was to another level. I felt it so strongly tears freely accompanied my cries for help. I truly believed what I declared — without Him to support me, I would surely fail.
I remained on my knees after concluding my prayer, listening for His voice as I wiped the tears from my face. At length I arose and returned to my desk, ready to begin working. I didn’t know what to do, but I was willing to do.
It was in that moment ideas began flooding into my mind. I began to understand the direction I should take. As I acted on those ideas, more ideas came. Though the hour was late, I felt a resurgence of strength and energy fill me, allowing me to keep working on implementing the ideas coming to me.
Before long, I had a rough outline. I worked all the next day to finish and then submit the written proposal. I had a similar experience with the presentation, both in preparing and delivering it. Soon afterwards, I received notice I passed the exam.
That same experience played out as I fulfilled my other responsibilities. I continued praying with that same sense of dependency. Not only were my prayers answered, but I began to feel closer to the Lord than I’ve ever felt.
Pondering upon these experiences has led me to realize more what partnering with the Lord really means. It means feeling so dependent upon Him you must have His contribution to succeed. It means laying bare all you have, feel, think, and can see as evidence making the case for your dependency upon Him. And it means rising to your feet after falling to your knees and walking forward in faith He will provide according to your need.
Though my experience was directed towards my studies, I recognize how this same process can apply to every area of life. Don’t wait to feel the security and support the Lord is eager to give the willing. Partner with the Lord anew, and take your relationship with Him to another level. You’ll receive what you need to move forward, and you’ll feel closer to Him than you ever have. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
How it works
Here’s how the 40 days work. Every day, the schedule lists a portion of the Sermon on the Mount to study for that day. That might be a single verse or several verses.
The schedule provides the section as recorded in Matthew and 3 Nephi as well as other relevant references for comparison. The end result is a foundation of scriptures to compare at the start of the daily practice. You read, compare, examine, and reflect.
Then you commit to applying during the course of that day what you’ve learned. You go through your day, completing your commitment. At the end of the day, you “return and report” by reflecting on your experience and writing about how it changed you.
Then the next day, you repeat the process with a new verse or section of verses as detailed in the schedule. You do this for 39 days. On Day #40, you reflect upon and write about your experience as a whole.
The next level
I can’t speak highly enough of how this tradition has helped me draw closer to my Savior and become more truly His. It’s not just study. It’s a continual process of learn, do, and reflect that creates a journey similar to an ever expanding spiral staircase.
I’ve always shared this tradition with others. But this year my growth requires me to invite others to walk each of the 40 days with me. By walking as a group together, we can strengthen and support each other.
To that end, I’m announcing some changes for Joy in the Journey Radio. First, I’ll provide for free the schedule for the 40-day journey. Look to the end of the monologue blog post.
Second, to help those who want an extra aid, I’ll provide a workbook as a guide for walking through each of the 40 days. Everything you need for each step of each day will be there, including side-by-side scripture comparisons, space for writing, and suggested commitments for application. Because Amazon provides the best way to provide this workbook in the most useful format, you’ll have to buy it. But I’ll keep the price as low as Amazon will allow.
Third, I’m going to devote the Joy in the Journey Radio Facebook page to this tradition. During each of the 40 days, I’ll post the relevant scriptures along with something extra like my commitment for that day or some thoughts about the verse(s) for that day. Others can then share what they learned or experienced, allowing everyone to be strengthened by each other’s journey. And as always, joining and participating in the Facebook group is free.
Let’s walk together
I’m not sure how I’ll manage this group in addition to all of my other responsibilities. My calling and my schooling by themselves take significant time. But I feel strongly I need to pursue this, and so I step out with faith the Lord will provide for me.
Day #1 is November 22, so don’t delay getting involved, especially if you want the workbook to guide you along. Get the schedule and join the Facebook page. You’ll see what I call the holy trinity of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day) in a whole new light. And deepening your discipleship is a great way to end the current year and begin a new one.
For all of us, 2020 has been an absolutely crazy year. So come join me in adopting a new tradition. Let’s end 2020 together by engaging a journey that will deepen our discipleship, bring us closer to the Savior, and help us feel more of His love as we strengthen and support each other. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
That one part is completely true. They are torturing themselves. Your focus always determines your reality, so when you focus on what you don’t have, your reality becomes one of lack and emptiness. Because each one of us has agency, we choose our focus. And that means we choose our reality. Indeed, these sisters are torturing themselves. Their wanting serves only to amplify the effect.
Of course, that truth doesn’t excuse married Church members from lacking sensitivity. In recent years, I’ve noticed more married Church members displaying more sensitivity. Nevertheless, not every ward is like that. We still have work to do.
In the meantime, it’s productive for all of us to shift our focus towards what Mother’s Day was intended to celebrate. All of us have a mother who bore us and a mother who raised us. For some those two women are one and the same. But either way, we can each answer this question: “How’s your mother?”
Just as focusing on your lack produces a reality of scarcity, focusing on what you have produces the opposite reality — one filled with abundance and plenty. Your life shifts substantially in the improvement direction when you exchange your expectation for appreciation. It’s all starts with an attitude of gratitude.
So many create disappointment by expecting too much. We want, want, want. And very often what we want, however righteous that desire, centers around something we don’t have. Because our focus always determines our reality, focusing on what we don’t have produces a reality of lack. And the more deeply we want, the more deeply felt that lack becomes.
But exchanging your expectation for appreciation creates something amazing. By constantly expressing gratitude, we can shift our focus towards what we do have. And focusing on what we do have creates a reality of abundance. The more deeply we appreciate, the more deeply felt gratitude becomes. We can bathe in the joy of feeling richly blessed.
Shift your focus
That feeling is completely legitimate because it results from how we’re constructed. Your focus determines your reality. That principle applies to everything, including Mother’s Day. Focus on what you don’t have, and you’ll take no joy in the celebration because your reality will be so full of emptiness you won’t want to celebrate. On the other hand, if you can focus on the good about the day, then you can have a joyful reality you’ll want to celebrate.
I know that can be challenging. As I said before, not every ward displays sensitivity to singles. It’s hard to stay positive when the dream you don’t have but most desire gets highlighted every week at church. I know what it’s like to get constant reminders of what you lack rubbed in your face every week. I know it’s hard.
I also know what hard means. It doesn’t mean impossible. It just means difficult. And difficult can become easy when you partner with the Lord.
The Lord can guide your focus towards the blessings you have today because your mother sacrificed. When you trade your expectation for appreciation, you open yourself to receive more of the joy life has to offer.
And if your relationship with your mother needs work, you can focus on what you can do to improve that relationship. Even good relationships can be improved, so focusing on doing something in that arena is good advice for all of us. Even if your mother has passed on to the other side, you can still find ways to express appreciation and improve your relationship on your end.
So I ask once more, “How’s your mother?” which is really just another way of asking “How’s your focus this Mother’s Day?” Your focus will always determine your reality. So make the positive choice. When you embrace a positive focus, you’ll receive a positive reality. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
That said, many of us are still taxing ourselves. We are by nature social creatures, so it’s natural to respond to a crisis by nearing ourselves to others. Yet the current crisis keeps many of us physically apart. And without some plan to provide for needs, that separation is taxing many beyond their capacity.
Focus on ability
We’ve discussed before the basic areas of life, what I call the spirit, the heart, the mind, and the body. Regardless of the names you employ, these areas each have their own needs, which will tax anyone’s reserves when left unmet. And the faith that optimistically inspires us to see beyond the current crisis can guide us to solutions amidst the current crisis.
We achieve that result in large measure by answering this question: “What can I do?” Too many of us, yearning for a return to normal, seek after what we’d like to do had the pandemic not turned the world upside down. But that thinking won’t help us thrive in our new world. We must adapt or die. To thrive in a new reality, we must change our thinking to match the landscape.
For example, before the pandemic hit, I was investigating exercise options. Then the pandemic eliminated the gym as an option. But instead of wallowing in my inability, which would just lead me to inaction and its attendant reality lacking results, I focused on answering “What can I do?” That question led me to using my own body weight for strength training and walking in my neighborhood for cardio. That combined with changes in diet have led to my first real weight loss success in a long time.
Get your plan
In like manner, we can ask “What can I do?” to address any need in life. By focusing our attention on what we can do, we empower ourselves not only to conquer the challenges before us but to do so with a smile-laden gusto. We really can have joy in life regardless of our circumstances.
That power to transcend our troubles resides in agency, God’s gift made meaningful by Jesus Christ. His Atonement makes it possible to triumph over sin and death, obstacles that separate us from God. Without that Atonement, our overcoming any obstacle in this world would have no meaning. We would all unavoidably perish (Alma 34:9).
Of course, such a key component in our eternity did not come about by chance. It was part of a plan provided before this world was. What we see now created temporally God first created spiritually (Moses 3:5). Following that example as we answer the question “What can I do?” will lead us to the plans we need to meet our needs during the coming months.
Rise above the challenge
With so much unknown at present about coronavirus, we can expect the current situation of sequestering and social distancing to last at least through summer. Do you have the plans and the means in place to meet your own needs during that time?
When you fail to plan, you plan to fail. But you don’t have to fail. You have a choice. You have power within that choice to change your attitude and how you think. And when you change how you think, you change your life. You can feel real joy regardless of what negative or pessimistic circumstances surround you.
Don’t tax yourself by failing to plan appropriately for your changed landscape. Ask yourself, “What can I do?” and then partner with the Lord as you answer that question. Those answers can structure a plan for meeting your needs for as long as the crisis lasts. The storm of pandemic may rage on the outside, but you can live with faith, optimism, and confidence on the inside. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Interpret others more appropriately
The first lesson took me years to learn. But once I got it, what a difference it made! After all, how you think about yourself largely contributes to how you portray yourself to others.
Most people believe the actions of others reflect their identity. When someone summarily dismisses you, it’s easy to believe it’s because you don’t have any value. Those who believe this fallacy can easily disparage themselves into depression.
But what others say or do doesn’t reflect your identity but rather your effort. If people are passing you by, it’s not because you don’t have value but rather because you don’t offer value. Offering is a choice, one we all can make. Focusing on what you can do rather than on what you lack always produces a more positive reality.
True, not everyone will respond positively to your offering. Some simply won’t see any value in it. But that just means they’re visually impaired. What will you do to help them see? Again, focusing on what you can do produces a more positive reality.
See as God sees
Perhaps the most important choice you can make to help others see your value is to learn to see as God sees. I’ve been learning this lesson over many years, and I’m still learning. But what I have learned so far has improved my life tremendously.
What do you think God sees when He looks at you? We’ve all heard“the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10). But why is that? What does He really see when He looks at you?
He sees potential. His sight isn’t confined to the moment, as our sight often is. He sees not just what we are today or even what we were yesterday but we can be tomorrow. Too often, especially when we’re discouraged, we aren’t looking forward to our potential but rather behind to what we were. We tell ourselves so often the lie about our past determining our future that we believe it. If only we could see as God sees!
That’s not likely to happen without partnering with the Lord. When you let Him guide your feet, He can also guide your eyes. We see a marvelous example in Enoch, who initially didn’t see very much in himself (Moses 6:31). But the Lord helped him to see more clearly (Moses 6:35-36), and the result was mountains moved and rivers turned from their course (Moses 7:13). Just as He helped Enoch see his potential, the Lord will help you see yours when you partner with Him.
Loving yourself will also help you see that potential. You know yourself better than most people, so they’ll simply take their cues about you from you. If you’re discouraged about yourself, then most people will follow that lead.
Conversely, if you’re care about you, then most people will follow that lead. When you demonstrate through your actions that you’re worth something, most people will also think you’re worth something and act accordingly. Again, people respond not to who you are but rather to what you do. And you choose what you do.
So choose to learn the lessons that reveal your true beauty. Learn to interpret others more appropriately, see yourself as God sees you, and love yourself. In learning those lessons, you’ll come to see you really are beautiful. You’ll release yourself from an unnecessary burden of despair and depression. You’ll feel more hopeful and optimistic about your future. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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