I freely admit my ignorance.  I’ve never been married or a parent, so I don’t fully understand the challenges of single parenting.  But I do understand singleness and recognize several principles Brother Romney shared that apply to all LDS singles, regardless of age or circumstance.

First, and perhaps most importantly, the restored gospel holds the solutions to life’s problems.  You’ll see many of those solutions only after adopting the perspectives the restored gospel encourages.  Far too many LDS singles think a solution will eliminate their problem so they can live more comfortably.  Often real solutions instead allow you to leverage your problems so you can grow and become more than you were before.

Brother Romney brought out that perspective beautifully.  The hope, joy, and strength which he found as a single father came from “small, simple things” like family prayer, expressions of encouragement, magnifying callings, and seeking direction from inspired leaders.  Our Heavenly Father has a plan of happiness for you.  That plan might not resemble the one you’d make, but His plan will best help you attain maximum happiness.

In his article, Brother Romney raised an excellent question: “I was a father trying to raise daughters on my own. . . . How could I help them prepare to become women?”  This variation on the more common theme of “How can I meet the challenge when I don’t seem fit for it?” has troubled many LDS singles.

Yet the answer again lies in perspective.  No matter your situation, you’re in this alone only if you want to be.  Brother Romney found many resources of support for his situation, including family members, neighbors, and ministering brothers and Church leaders.  We all have more resources than we think we do.  We just need to apply the Savior’s teaching: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7).

Brother Romney rightly mentions that “not everyone will experience this same level of support.”  Wards are people, and people are all at different points of progression along the eternal path.  Some just haven’t yet progressed that far.

Notwithstanding, the Lord won’t leave you comfortless.  He’s provided people around you, sometimes in and sometimes out of the Church, who’ll help in some way.  You just need ask, seek, and knock.  As Brother Romney acknowledges, “until we let others know the gaps we see . . . those individuals may not understand how they can help.”  The squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease.

Ultimately, the Lord won’t abandon you.  He loves you too much to do that.  Not only will He walk by your side, the Lord will provide a strength to persevere only He can provide.

The same Lord Who’s assembled a plan for your maximum happiness, restored His gospel offering needed perspective, and provided resources to support you is also intimately aware of you.  He knows what you need in the moment you need it.

He knows how overwhelming your specific combination of challenges and circumstances can feel.  He submitted Himself to all things “that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).  Through the enabling power of His Atonement, Christ can help you do what you otherwise could not.

No matter the challenge, whether it be raising daughters as a single dad, raising sons as a single mother, or simply finding joy in LDS singles life, you can partner with the Lord and leverage your challenges to grow and become something more than you were before.  When you do, you’ll grow so much you’ll transcend your challenges.  What once seemed overwhelming will be no more than an afterthought.  And all along the way, you’ll feel the strength of the Lord abiding with you. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

I then took that thinking a step further.  What quality does my life really have if I’m too busy to enjoy it?  That’s why I want to circle back today.  I want to try to recapture part of what I missed when Cinco de Mayo passed me by uncelebrated, because to enjoy life truly, you need to party your life.

We’d all agree anything taken to excess is bad and occasional recreation is good.  But what is recreation?  I mean, what is it really?

If we examine the word, we find the prefix re-, meaning again, followed by creation.  So literally recreation means creating again.  And what are we creating again if not ourselves?  Yes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a dull girl, but true recreation is not simply play.  True recreation leaves us renewed, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle anew the challenges before us.

That doesn’t happen with just an occasional respite from our labors.  The Sabbath provides that every week, and although I’ve certainly experienced a greater quality of life as I’ve honored the Sabbath, something’s missing.  Yes, hard times come to everyone, but shouldn’t there be a general feeling of enjoyment in life?  If I’m doing it right, shouldn’t I feel every day is worth celebrating?

That’s where the idea to party your life takes center stage.  That’s doesn’t mean all play and no work.  Work is essential to self-esteem, but, as I just said, all work and no play makes us dull.  There’s a sweet spot in the middle where we have a sense of balance.

That equilibrium point is, I believe, the party pad, the place where we enjoy the highest quality of life because that point is where we most feel to celebrate our life every day.  The key, then, to party your life is balance.  And I think that balance comes not only from what we do but how we approach what we do.

For example, if you’re being pulled in too many directions, your life won’t feel balanced.  How can it when you’ve got so much competing for your limited time?  But you get the same result from approaching life with too much emphasis on any one element.  By concerning yourself so much with one element, you can’t effectively work on anything else.

The simple answer is to simplify.  If you’re too busy to smell the roses along your journey, drop what you can so you can.  Likewise, if you’re so focused excessively on one element, drop the excess baggage and lighten your load.

For many, that’s easier said than done.  You can have so much of importance it feels like you can’t drop anything.  And it’s not like you quit worrying about some concern just by flipping a switch, especially if holding onto that concern has become habitual.

If the key is balance, then the key to getting and staying there is your relationship with the Lord.  He can help you see the way to balance because He is the way.  Through His Spirit, He can teach you what you need to do.  By coming to Him, He can carry your burdens and lighten your load.  He can help you find and stay at that equilibrium point where you can most feel to celebrate your life, because it will be the life He has given you.

So party your life.  Let God prevail and recreate you into more than what you could become without Him.  When you do, you’ll better find the balance you need to party your life.  In that space, you’ll not just feel better but be better.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Understandably, the weight of life presses on us all.  For many LDS singles who’ve lived years without the righteous blessings they desire, that weight can be heavy indeed.  A pessimistic outlook on the future that often attends that weight doesn’t help.

But there is always hope because there is always Christ.  He can help us go forward when we feel there is no way forward because He is the Way.  When we give our heartfelt all to Him, He gives us access to His power.  And with His power, we can do all things.

That includes maximizing our joy in LDS singles life.  We can find balance amongst all the tensions of life when we put the Savior and our discipleship to Him first and give our all to Him and His work.  As Elder Uchtdorf explained,

This is how LDS singles can move their lives forward.

This doesn’t mean your solution to the challenges of LDS singles life is more church.  The solution is more you.  When you give more of yourself to what you do, you create the space in which you can have more joy in your life.

It’s that giving more of yourself that actually creates that space for more joy.  That’s why time and time again I’ve defined happiness as giving your all to all the right things for you.  That’s why for years I’ve encouraged LDS singles to embrace a personal ministry.  Like the widow’s mite which Elder Uchtdorf referenced to begin his remarks, your contribution to making the world a better place is worthwhile when it represents your all because it’s only in giving your all that you become a better you.

I can understand why so many LDS singles want to give up on their lives.  Dating often results in frustration and other negative emotions.  Then there’s loneliness.  And those singles who are also parents have double duty in raising their children.  I get it.

But I also get that frustration is a sign you’re going about something the wrong way.  So when you feel life isn’t working right, it’s really you that isn’t working right.  You need a new approach!  Elder Uchtdorf explained how putting the Lord first helps us each find the new approach we need.

When you partner with the Lord by putting Him and His work first and then taking counsel from Him, He Who is the Way will show you the way.  This principle works in every aspect of life, not just discipleship.  When you give more of you to all you do, you can get more out of what you do.

So if you aren’t getting what you want out of dating, give more of you to it.  Start by learning the fundamentals.  If you aren’t getting more of what you want from your occupation, give more of you to it.  And so it goes for every aspect of life.

You can find the balance and lift you need when you give your all and keep moving forward.  So don’t stop.  Don’t stagnate.  Don’t wallow in the mire of despair.  Don’t wrap yourself in pity.  Focus on where you want to go and keep moving forward.  As Elder Uchtdorf taught,

Give your heartfelt all to all you do.  You’ll create the space for more joy in your life.  You’ll see life turning around for you.  And you’ll find more balance and lift in your life as you come closer to the Lord.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

I’ve felt free like I haven’t felt in quite some time.  I still have lots to do, and I still don’t know how I’m going to accomplish it all.  But I feel as though I have more than enough time to do everything needful, even though I did the math and know the numbers don’t fit.  It’s a great blessing from the Lord, and I realize my choice to chase purpose, not proof, paved the way for my blessings.

Part of the difficulty I wrestled last week was feeling I needed to do more than time would allow.  Meeting with my advisor helped resolve that by providing some clarity around exactly what effort was needed.  And I felt the Lord’s guiding and supporting hand.

But the floodgates of feeling truly free and empowered opened only after I committed to my purpose.  Don’t get me wrong.  I committed to my PhD program back when I gave up my employment, got rid of two thirds of my belongings, moved the remaining third clear across the country, and accepted a lower standard of living — all to pursue a step towards my dream job.

But I hadn’t committed myself completely.  I was busy with so many different things, all of them valuable but not all of them conducive to my commitment.  Complete commitment is always reflected in completely prioritized time pursuing it.

Once I made that complete commitment in how I would spend my time, that’s when freedom swept over me.  That’s when I felt I had the time I needed to do what was needed.  That’s when I felt I could truly achieve my potential.

Too many never do that. Even if they have a purpose they say they pursue, they aren’t really chasing after it.  Instead, they chase after proof.

By proof, I mean evidence they’re accepted.  They devote more time and energy to acquiring validation and belonging than to any life purpose.  And by going off the path of their purpose, they go off the path of their potential.

We all have a deep-seated need for acceptance.  We all want to belong, and we all want to be loved.  There’s nothing wrong with those desires.  But there is something wrong with not prioritizing your potential.

And here’s what’s wrong with it.  You’re leaving happiness on the table.  You think you’re chasing happiness, but you’ll never capture it by seeking to have something.  Happiness isn’t about having; it’s about giving.  Happiness is giving your all to all the right things for you.  And one of those right things is achieving your potential.

Let’s look at an example.  What do typical LDS singles do with their time, especially the time they aren’t compelled to do anything?  Many spend their so-called “free time” consuming content or soaking in social media, looking for love and belonging, pursuing proof not purpose.

Happiness doesn’t come from having that special someone or having social media likes or indeed having anything.  Happiness isn’t about having; it’s about giving.  That’s why pursuing your potential is linked to happiness.  The more of your potential you achieve, the more you have to give and the more happy you can be.

And you maximize your happiness by committing completely to your purpose, a commitment you demonstrate with the time you devote to that commitment.  So take a look at how you spend your time and make adjustments where needed.  Chase purpose, not proof.  You’ll find yourself feeling more free and more connected with the Lord.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Many of us see challenges as we look ahead both for society and ourselves individually.  Elder Bednar’s remarks remind us of the essential nature of testing in our mortal experience.  Just as tests in school help us compare what we know with what we should know and thereby provide opportunity to grow in knowledge, tests in mortality help us compare what we are now with what we can become and thereby provide opportunity to grow in light and truth.  And the best way to pass those tests is to prepare and press forward.

Elder Bednar related how the pandemic revealed the state of his own family’s preparedness for difficult times.  In some ways he was prepared, and in others he was wanting.

For those instances in which he and we are found wanting, Elder Bednar pointed to the Savior’s example of incremental increase “in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52).  I love Elder Bednar’s description of this approach: “a blended balance of intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social readiness.”

As I examine my own readiness in each of those four areas — the intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social — I find I’m not that different from Elder Bednar.  In some ways I’m prepared, and in others I’m wanting.

We all are, in fact.  That’s why we need to use the time we have now to prepare for what may come.  I recall President Hinckley speaking in the April 2001 General Conference Priesthood session about setting our houses in order.  Five months later, the aerospace industry took a nosedive from 9/11, and many Saints in that industry lost their jobs.  Those who failed to heed a prophet’s warning to prepare suffered when the testing moment came.

I love what Elder Bednar had to say about such preparations.

The difficulties of the pandemic have revealed the state of our own individual preparedness.  Now is the time to act on that knowledge and prepare for what may come in those areas where we’re wanting.  Elder Bednar issued just such an invitation:

When it comes to action, it’s good to have a plan and better to act.  Plans provide the framework for moving forward, but they don’t actually move you forward.  Only action produces results.  Only action moves you forward.

Elder Bednar told the story of a father who lost his missionary son to a tragic accident.  The father shared his family’s feelings at the funeral service — feelings of heartbreak but also feelings of determination to remain faithful.  When the moment of trial came, this family showed they were prepared to learn eternal lessons through their suffering.  That preparation allowed them to press forward.

We likewise can press forward when our intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social trials come to us if we do the work now to prepare ourselves for those moments.  And that means making choices.  Elder Bednar shared the following words from Elder Jeffrey R Holland.

He then went on to say

Moments that test us will always come in mortality.  As Elder Bednar explained, “the process of proving ourselves is a fundamental part of Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness.”  He then promised those who prepare and press forward will be able to pass “the ultimate examination of mortality.”

You can live that promise when you prepare for what will come and then press forward, walking in faith the Lord will support you as you act upon your plans.  Preparation doesn’t always prevent or remove hard times.  But preparation can make burdens easier to bear.  Preparation can provide the eternal perspective needed to learn lessons of eternal import when those trials do come.

So prepare and press forward.  You don’t know when all your trials will come, but you do know they’ll come.  Assess yourself now, plan to supply what’s wanting, and then take action on those plans.  The Lord will do His part as you do yours.  You’ll then realize in your life the promised pronouncement: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

But an OK life never rises above mediocrity and won't ever be great or phenomenal.  Most settle for mediocrity, but you don't have to accept an OK life.  You can be phenomenal.  You can live your best life.

To realize the reality you want to have outside of you, you must do the work to change what's  inside of you.  So stop waiting and start working.  Your best life awaits you.

Most people have a limited life because they have limited thinking based on limiting assumptions.  And because of how we're all biologically hardwired to operate, those assumptions lead to habits producing the same results most mediocre lives have.

Do you believe you're the victim of choices others make?  Do you believe you just aren't good enough to live your dreams?  Do you believe your best days are behind you?  Do you believe your happiness depends on what happens outside yourself?  If so, you're likely not in control of life.  Rather, life is in control of you.

But just as you can choose thinking that limits you, you can choose thinking that empowers you.  You really can turn your life around because you are a child of the Creator of the universe endowed with His unlimited potential and the wondrous gift of agency.  You can and do choose for yourself.

So you can choose to accept responsibility for the choices you've made that have brought you the life you have now.  When you do, you begin to own your life.  And that's when everything can begin to change for you.  You can further that change by deciding what you want, knowing clearly why you want it, and then committing yourself to excellence in literally everything you do.

You need that foundation to effect the changes you want to see outside yourself.  Too many people (who usually live limited mediocre lives) think their lives will improve when their external circumstances do.  They work directly on external changes, but that's all backwards.  To change your life on the outside, you must first change your life on the inside.

That means you must get good with you.  You must dig deep enough inside of you to uncover the true root of your problem, the seeds of mediocre thinking sprouting into the mediocre habits producing your mediocre life.  You must learn how you were biologically designed to function so you can leverage it instead of continually fighting against it.

We all broadcast an energy to others, and what you have inside determines the quality of that energy.  To broadcast an attractive energy, what's inside of you must be attractive.  Stop trying to escape singles life and start embracing it and making the most of it.  Love yourself but also commit to doing whatever it takes to better yourself.  Achieving that balance is the essence of obtaining your best life.

Pursuing that balance won't be easy, because challenges will always threaten your desired transformation.  That's why you must continually refresh your thinking and your determination to keep after it.

Believe your best is yet to come, that the blessings you want are real and yours.  Let go of trying to manage every detail and just enjoy the ride.  Live in the moment, live with intention, and live in possibility while you work for probability.  It's balancing the fantastic with the practical.

And the best way I've found to do that is practicing a ridiculous, sickening work ethic.  The grind is amply named, and you need to do it every day.  Use your agency to choose to keep after it.  Never quit.  Never surrender.  Never stop until you win.

Most people live mediocre lives centered on satisfaction of self because that's what they choose.  Those who live phenomenal lives centered on contribution to others have their best life because that's what they choose.  Your best life awaits you.  When you choose to take control of your life, get good with you, and keep after it, you too can live the phenomenal life that is your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You’ll be hard pressed to achieve that result without adopting a new way of thinking that matches your new landscape.  In pre-pandemic times, one might hear of souls going the extra mile of the extra mile, literally working themselves to the bone in the name of service to others.  Now with the pandemic in place, some have continued that way of thinking, going that extra mile of the extra mile while sheltering in place and social distancing.

But that old way of thinking that giving all of yourself was somehow a virtue was unhealthy before the pandemic.  And it’s still unhealthy now.  You can’t help others to climb unless you yourself are standing on higher ground.  You can’t nourish others when you yourself need nourishing.  Yes, other people and meeting their needs matter.  But you matter too.

That idea falls right in line with following after your bliss.  Your best life is the one with the best boundaries for you, boundaries that demarcate a balance between what you should do for others and what you should do for yourself.

And balance is not necessarily about equalizing the proportions those areas occupy in your life.  It’s about making sure each area is appropriately sized so that they can sufficiently support the other.

Giving service to others satisfies basic needs we all have for sociality.  Supporting others in their times of stress can give us strength in dealing with our own stress.  But caring for ourselves requires us to meet all our basic needs.  You can hardly say your approach is balanced when you neglect other needs to care exclusively for just one need.

That’s where following after your bliss can help you achieve the balance you need between caring for others and caring for yourself.  Many out of balance in the service arena feel guilty if they aren’t continually giving of themselves to others all the time.  Their life is unbalanced because their thinking is unbalanced.  By following after your dreams and helping others you encounter along that path as you can, you establish a healthy balance between doing for others and doing for you.

Of course, not everyone unbalanced is unbalanced in that way.  Some go to the other extreme, focusing so much on themselves that they give little if any thought to others.  And they structure their lives accordingly.  Just chronicle the activities they regularly embrace in their day, and their excessive focus on themselves becomes obviously apparent.

It’s really easy for singles to fall into this practice, especially if they don’t have any children.  And avoiding that practice certainly isn’t helped by living in a pandemic requiring social distancing and sequestering.  The healthy focus on caring for self can be mutated into an unhealthy consumption of self.

The solution here is the same.  Follow after your bliss and help others you encounter along that path.  This approach will help you establish a healthy balance between doing for others and doing for you.

In all our efforts to achieve that healthy balance, we should remember that what constitutes a healthy balance for one person may not be that healthy for another.  While we all have the same basic needs, the amounts we need to satisfy those needs can differ greatly.

Pandemic may have changed the landscape, but it has not changed our ability to thrive.  When we change our thinking to match the landscape in our lives, we allow ourselves to meet better our current challenges, whatever they might be.

So take a step back and evaluate how you’ve structured your life.  How much do you give to others?  And how much do you give to yourself?  Others matter, yes.  But you matter too.  Those who know their proper balance between caring for others and caring for themselves set themselves up for success.  Pandemic or no, they will thrive on the road to their best life.  And that will bring them more joy in their journey.

I went to a clinic where a doctor ran some tests and came back with a diagnosis I didn’t believe then and still don’t today.  But I wasn’t about to argue with the doctor while in pain.  I didn’t want to postpone the relief that drove me to see the doctor in the first place.

The doctor prescribed some meds, I followed his directions, and the chest pain went away.  But then arrived stomach pains and more intense vomiting.  I couldn’t keep anything down.  After I vomited everything so I knew my stomach was empty, the stomach pains vanished only to be replaced with abdominal cramps.  I didn’t sleep well that night at all.

I’m in recovery now, but as I’ve always been the pensive and reflective sort, I certainly can’t resist reflecting on this experience.  As I do so, I can see clear connections between my experience and Elder Gong’s Conference address.  All of our lives have been greatly blessed by covenant belonging.

When I first heard his address in Conference, Elder Gong’s description of a gospel culture centered on Christ impressed me.  Indeed, true gospel culture is centered on the Savior and solidified by covenants we make to serve Him and each other.

Yet traditionally LDS subculture has centered on marital status as the marker of belonging.  And that center has caused countless challenges for many LDS singles.  Long time audience members know I once harped endlessly on our need to change the culture.  The problem is in how singles think, yes.  But the problem is also in how everyone thinks, and that thinking is manifested in culture.

Elder Gong cuts through all of the bunk to the real heart of a Zion culture — making and keeping sacred covenants to become more like Jesus Christ.

God never looked at His children through the lens of marital status.  I’m not entirely sure why we as a people ever did, but I rejoice in our culture changing for the better.

I also rejoice that Elder Gong’s message to center ourselves in Christlike covenants is not the first apparently aimed at changing the culture to adopt a more ennobling marker of belonging.  Albeit not as directly as I have, various Church leaders have occasionally spoken about the divide between singles and marrieds in LDS culture and our need to bridge the gap.

Elder Gong followed suit in addressing that divide but doing so in a somewhat less indirect manner.

I love that balance between including singles and promoting marriage and family.  These two elements were never meant to be mutually exclusive!  Those who understand the concept of covenant belonging see that truth plain as day.

You may be wondering now what all of this has to do with my near miss of a heart attack.  It’s very simple.  I belong as all LDS singles do to a community bound together by covenants to serve the Lord and serve one another.

The day after my near miss, my ministering brother and a member of the bishopric were in my home visiting with me and providing a priesthood blessing.  Now, I know that doesn’t happen everywhere.  I’ve been in some of those wards where it doesn’t happen.  But if you find yourself there, I can assure you it will pass and you will come to a better place if you stay faithful to your covenants and do your best to practice covenant belonging.

The Lord is mindful of all of us.  I know He’s been mindful of me.  Feeling that love has renewed my desire to be true to my covenants and to exemplify God’s definition of real belonging that we can find therein.  And it is by living covenant belonging that we can best feel that love.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

Now I find myself at another crossroads.  My father has surgery tomorrow to remove his returned skin cancer.  My brother might visit this weekend, which may be the last time we see each other for awhile since I’m preparing to begin a new job on the East Coast.  And yet with all these changes about me, one thing remains unchanged.  I’m still not a father.

I remember sitting in the stake center as a young man watching President Ezra Taft Benson address the single men of the Church in General Conference.  As he declared that the time would come when those who ignored fatherhood would feel and know their loss, I remember thinking to myself, That won’t be me!  I’m going to follow the prophet.

As time passed, however, that commitment challenged me.  Sure, I could’ve married one of numerous desperate LDS women.  But they interested themselves more in being a wife and mother than in being my companion because that was the only identity they could accept for themselves.  My conscience couldn’t accept joining with someone who saw me as filler material, a means to their own end.

Now my mind ponders that prophetic counsel I heard so many years ago as a young man.  Am I any closer to compliance?  Or have I allowed other pursuits to lull me into a more comfortable place where I substitute the greater growth from fatherhood with the lesser growth of other pursuits?

Clearly, we single LDS men must walk a fine line.  Obsession with marriage will drive us increasingly crazy while driving away quality candidates.  At the same time, we can’t become so absorbed in the activities we use to stay that obsession that we don’t progress towards a happy and healthy marriage.  We need balance.

Note I said happy and healthy.  We’re not interchangeable parts.  Compatibility is important.  At the same time, compatibility is not a litmus test.  The success of any union depends more on the choices of the participants than on any intrinsic characteristics.  Again, we need balance.

I think about that balance as I ponder my father’s surgery tomorrow.  That surgery isn’t all that different from the previous one, which he survived just fine.  Yet when he announced the return of his cancer, my father encouraged my siblings and I to consider what would be done to help Mother should he pass away soon.  I find myself balancing his fear against my optimism that everything will work out for the best.

The faith inviting me to live in that realization encourages me onward with optimism.  No, I’m not a father . . . yet.  I don’t know how the Lord will bless me, but I know He loves me and will support me as He always has.  That knowledge sustains me as I walk by faith through mortality.

I’m also not the same person now I once was.  Sure, I’m just as single now as when I came home from my mission, but I’m not the same man that stepped off that plane bringing me home.  In more ways than not, I’m a much better man.  And as I strive to be phenomenal in every aspect of my life, I’ll become more and more irresistible to that woman with whom the Lord intends to bless me.

I’m still not a father.  But that won’t be true forever.  The Lord will not abandon me.  Nor will He abandon any of you.  So if Father’s Day has brought you to serious reflection, be the victor and not the victim.  Partner with the Lord, and let Him lead you along.  Your path ahead is glorious.  When you see with eyes of faith, you’ll recognize the brightness of that light.  You’ll capture the optimism born of hope in that bright future.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

In the most recent General Conference, Elder Jack Gerard of the Seventy spoke of the importance of priorities in life.  His remarks, entitled “Now Is The Time,” encourage all of us to place our priorities upon what matters most in life — our relationship with our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.  Whether or not you have goals for the new year, now is the time to consider whether the priorities you really do have are the ones you really should have.

Elder Gerard begins with an account of chest pains he experienced while traveling.  After arriving at the airport, he sought help at a local hospital, wondering if he would reach his final destination.  A doctor ran multiple tests and then declared him safe to continue his travels.

Elder Gerard returned to the airport and resumed his journey.  As the plane approached his final destination, Elder Gerard learned an ambulance would be waiting to take him to the hospital.  The doctor had misdiagnosed his condition, which was much more serious than previously supposed.

After he learned the new diagnosis and that not many patients survive that condition, Elder Gerard’s perspective suddenly shifted.  He described his experience with these words:

Indeed, now is the time to consider our direction.  Stephen Covey often used the analogy of a ladder when speaking about priorities.  He described a man who exerted much effort to climb a ladder leaning against a wall.  When he got to the top, what he saw behind the wall made one truth painfully obvious; his ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.

It should sound silly to talk about priorities after many of us have made our goals, because priorities rightfully come before goals.  We need to establish our direction before we establish what we want to accomplish.  Otherwise, we’ll likely find the ladder we climb has been leaning against the wrong wall.

Daily life in our modern world contains so many distractions we can spend our lives wandering aimlessly without any sense of direction or purpose.  We need to take time to reflect upon our direction.  Unless we do, we’ll easily become “like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed” (James 1:6).

Do the things of greatest eternal importance have the highest priority in your life?  If not, it’s never too late to start again.  Now is the time to consider your direction.

Elder Gerard reminds us that

It’s so easy to coast and let the waves of day-to-day living just wash over us!  But that complacency will never deliver your best life.  You get your best life by living intentionally, and living with intention requires awareness of what you’re doing and more importantly why.  That means having priorities and a plan of action that supports those priorities.

How else do we ensure our ladder is not leaning against the wrong wall?  Priorities determine direction, and direction determines destination.

During his remarks, Elder Gerard asked this very practical question: “How do we rise above the distractions of this world and stay fixed on the vision of eternity before us?”  He then extolled Christ as the standard by which to judge what’s best and declared “understanding our divine origins is essential to our eternal progress and can free us from the distractions of this life.”

Ultimately, the best way to know what our real priorities should be is to evaluate ourselves and our lives without distraction.  That’s where temple attendance can be so refreshing.  In the house of the Lord, we can separate ourselves from the distractions of the world.  Remembering our divine origins and why we’re here can bring clarity to an otherwise muddled view.

If you wonder whether your ladder is leaning against the wrong wall, now is the time to consider what changes you need to make.  If you didn’t make any goals for the new year, then by default you decided to let the waves of life carry you where they may.  Now is the time for you to own your life and establish the priorities that will determine your direction and ultimately your destination.  When you do, you’ll find yourself moving forward more confidently.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.