Joy In The Journey Radio
  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 21 Apr 21
      • 14 Apr 21
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
    • TED 13 Mar 21
    • TED 6 Mar 21
    • TED 27 Feb 21
    • TED 20 Feb 21
    • TED 13 Feb 21
    • TED 6 Feb 21
    • TED 30 Jan 21
    • TED 23 Jan 21
    • TED 16 Jan 21
    • TED 9 Jan 21
    • TED 2 Jan 21
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact

continue the conversation

Peace comes from within

12/16/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
. . . peace doesn’t come from outside ourselves.  Peace comes from within.
The Christmas season is in full swing, but I just haven’t felt the spirit of the season like I have in past years.  This year has been nothing short of crazy with a pandemic, riots, and political turmoil.  In addition, I find myself immersed in demanding coursework.  I should be feeling peace amidst the Christmas season.  Instead, I feel anxious, concerned, and deeply troubled.

The greatest difficulty for me has been and continues to be the inability to attend the temple.  I understand why the temples would close in a pandemic.  At the same time, there’s a peace I’ve been able to find only within the walls of the temple, a peace I haven’t fully found outside those walls, a peace I sorely need now.
But in reflecting upon my situation, I’ve come to realize my faulty assumption.  I’ve been assuming I can find peace only outside myself.  I want to get away from the fighting that fills our communities.  I want to escape the turbulence of these troubled times.  I want to resolve the circumstances outside myself that I’ve erroneously connected with how I feel inside myself.

But peace doesn’t come from outside ourselves.  Peace comes from within.  As a popular song teaches, let there be peace, and let it begin with me.  When we take proper action, we can have peace within even though the world around us has anything but.

Align yourself

Picture
Your focus determines your reality.  So when you change your focus, you change your realty.  When you change the way you think, you change your life.

All of us can create a reality of peace in our lives when we focus on what brings peace.  And the ultimate source of peace is the Prince of Peace.  He suffered our pains and troubles so that He would know how to be compassionate in our hour of need.  He died so that we could live.

That life Christ gives isn’t just eternal life in the realm beyond the veil.  He gives life here and now in mortality.  He can lighten our load and light the way before us.  He can lift us when we are low.  He can give hope amidst despair.  But in order to make His lift, His light, and His love our reality, we must focus upon Him.

The Christmas spirit of peace lives in us when we increase our discipleship to the Prince of Peace.  It’s when we ignore His teachings or turn our focus away from the weightier matters of covenant living that we bring ourselves the opposite of peace.  Aligning our will with His brings a harmony with truth that makes our hearts a natural home for peace.

Give yourself

Picture
And only when we have peace within ourselves can we effectively promote peace outside ourselves.  Only a continued walk after the Prince of Peace can inspire others to follow His enlightened example and find peace within themselves.

But deep, lasting peace never comes from just going through the motions.  Just as true happiness comes from giving yourself to all the right things for you, deep, lasting peace comes only when you align yourself with all the right things for you.

Of course you should strive to keep the commandments and your covenants.  Those things are right for everyone.  But beyond the standards reside what’s right for each of us individually — goodness related to your personal ministry and the contribution only you can make in the lives of others.

When you give yourself to those right things that only you can do, you promote peace.  You become a city shining on a hill giving goodness, light, and love to an increasingly darkened world desperately in need.  And that peace you bring to others can bring greater peace to you as well.

Promote peace

Picture
You can’t really share with others what you yourself don’t have.  It all starts where the song says it starts.  Let there be peace.  And let it begin with me.

Peace comes from within, so let each of us align ourselves with God.  Let each of us be true to our covenants.  Let each of us give what only we can give.  Let each of us focus on Christ and feel the peace that comes from following after the Prince of Peace.

Then let us all go forward and share that peace with others.  Let us light their lives.  Let us give them hope.  Let us lighten their load.  Let there be peace.  And let it begin with me and you.  We will find a peace we have never before known when we cultivate peace within our own hearts like we have never before done.  And doing that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
Picture
0 Comments

Bringing souls to Christ

9/16/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
We can spend our lives doing many good things, but in the end all those good things won't count for much if they don't help people come unto Christ.
My new calling as stake executive secretary certainly hasn't been dull.  For one, I've thoroughly enjoyed hearing the discussions in stake meetings.  The most interesting involve strengthening the faith of members in the context of current events.

I've also been blessed to witness revelation.  Most recently it happened this past Sunday during a stake priesthood leadership meeting.  The group was discussing how to improve ministering efforts, and many of the brethren present gave ideas which at the time sounded really insightful.

But nothing is more insightful than pure revelation.  After several of the brethren shared their remarks, the stake president began speaking.  And as he spoke, I could very palpably sense the Spirit descending upon him as he gave purely inspired instruction.  But I also felt the gentle but insistent suggestion that I implement those same words in my own life.
Without question, the words that impressed me most were these: We can spend our lives doing many good things, but in the end all those good things won't count for much if they don't help people come unto Christ.  Those words have prompted moments of reflection as I've considered my own ways.  How much of what I do leads others to Christ?

Find the real question

Picture
In that moment of pure revelation, I understood intuitively the Spirit's impressions applied to every area of my life.  And there's one part of my life to which the application seemed most clear.  That part is Joy in the Journey Radio.

I've sacrificed and labored endlessly for the past eight years in what is now Joy in the Journey Radio.  Some of my contributions have been more well received than others.  Most of those others haven't been received at all.  They are blog posts without comments, videos without views, podcasts without listens.

One might say all my effort has been for naught.  What good is all I've done if no one knows about it?  What good is an unreceived gift?  Here's my answer: The show isn't over until the fat lady sings, and it's not even close to the time the fat lady takes the stage.  By placing it out in the world, my contribution is available to make a difference in someone's life.  Just because it hasn't done so to date doesn't mean it never will.  God can still use my contribution for His purposes.

Consider what would be had I not made my contribution.  I couldn't ever make any difference because nothing would be there to make a difference.  The real question at hand is not what difference my contribution does make.  The real question is what difference my contribution can make.

Answer the real question

That's where my recent experience with pure revelation enters the picture.  The most important difference anyone can make is to bring souls to Christ.

   And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!
   Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.

Picture
   And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
   And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me! (D&C 18:13-16)

With all we say and do, the most difference to be made is advancing God's eternal purposes.  His "work and . . . glory [is] to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39).  In that light, what difference could be more significant than helping our brothers and sisters progress along the covenant path?

That's why the real question resulting from my reflections is really this: How effective is the way I use my time?  In the end, all we really have in life are our will, our relationships, and our time.  President Oaks once observed that

The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them.  Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives. . . .  As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good.  Other choices are better, and still others are best.  Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all. ("Good, Better, Best", October 2007 General Conference)
How wise is that timely counsel!

Embrace the answer

Picture
The contributions I've made thus far through Joy in the Journey Radio can help LDS singles find more joy in their lives.  But is that the better or best contribution I can make?

I haven't completely ignored helping others come to Christ.  I've dedicated one monologue blog post and its attendant program each month to returning the most recent General Conference.  And I always view issues through the lens of the restored gospel.  I always support the Brethren and prioritize walking the covenant path.  And I always encourage others to do the same.

But I should be more overt about it.  Joy in the Journey Radio should be more forward about bringing souls to Christ.  The difference I can make through the purposes already expressed through Joy in the Journey Radio are all good.  But are they better or best?  They can be when they highlight bringing souls to Christ.

And so can be your purposes in your life.  What difference will you make with your contribution?  Will it be good, or will it be better or best?  The Lord has been hastening His work in preparation for His Second Coming.  When you surrender your will and your time to advance His purposes, He will advance yours.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here and continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Find more information about this episode, including how to listen to the entire episode, by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

You got played, bro

8/12/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Yes, it hurts, but you minimize your future pain when you get good with you, chart your course, and then stay your course.
Recently I've noticed an increase in Facebook posts from frustrated single LDS men (or at least those groups I've joined).  The latest greatly concerns me mostly because I see clear as day what's happening while the man in this story (who we'll call Harry) gropes in darkness, heartbroken and confused.

Now, every story always has more than one side.  I'd love to consider the woman's side, but we have only Harry's.  That said, we can still draw some conclusions, especially considering what happened to this poor priesthood holder is much more common than unique.

Here's the post.  Unsure whether Harry wants to be known in this forum, I'm erring on the side of caution by blotting a few identifying details.
Picture
Harry has no clue what happened here.  But I do; I see very clearly what's happened.  Harry, my man!  You got played, bro.

Get good with you

Picture
In the comments to this post, most men think the woman was disingenuous, and most women think she was completely honest.  I think if we understood more how each gender thinks, we all might gain an increased understanding prompting greater patience.

Men think with logic.  Reason drives them to seek enticement.  Women think with emotion.  Emotion drives them to seek experience, by which I mean the experience of desired emotions as they live their life.  To understand the choices made in interactions between the sexes, we need to see those choices through each respective perspective.

From the perspective of logic, it's reasonable to expect further interactions based on positive past experience.  From that perspective, what the woman did was not honest; she's playing games.  However, from the perspective of emotion, it's just as reasonable to choose the feeling of being with someone offering enjoyable company (even if that someone is not the right type) over the feeling of being with no one.  From that perspective, what the woman did was honest; she's not playing games.

Who's right?  They both are.  That's why you have got to get good with you and the biological hardwiring in each gender's brain, because that's not going to change.  The sooner you can understand each perspective, the sooner you can accept those perspectives and get busy with what will make you more attractive and your dating journey more enjoyable.

Chart your course

Picture
The best way to become more attractive and enjoy your dating journey is to become the best version of you and adopt a personal ministry — your unique contribution of goodness to the world.  By improving upon yourself and giving all of yourself to your special way of improving the lives of others, you chart a course that will both best attract the type of companion that's best for you and maximize your joy along the way.

Too many LDS singles struggle with dating because they have ineffective assumptions.  It's all too common to find men and women who view singles life as something they must escape.  While understandable, that mindset is all backwards.  Trying to escape singles life suggests it's a problem, and no one wants more problems.  It also makes you look desperate, and no one really wants desperate.

Many LDS singles also don't understand the fundamentals of dating.  When they participate in dating (or what they think is dating), they trip all over themselves, ending up hurt and frustrated.  But that's to be expected when you don't understand the fundamental principles governing what you're trying to do.

When you do understand, you see your best course is to embrace singles life.  No matter how long it may be, make your singles life the best it can be.  Get good with you, make you the best you, and throw yourself into a life of contribution, a life that someone special will want to live with you.

Stay your course

Picture
Of course, the hardest part is to keep going without knowing how much farther until your journey ends.  But you must keep going, because the moment you quit is the moment you lose all attractiveness, the currency you need to secure the agreements required for progress in your dating journey.

You can't avoid the difficulties surrounding not knowing when your dating journey will end, but you can avoid many other difficulties in that journey with more frequent, higher quality communication.  We all need to assume less and ask more.

Harry, I'm truly sorry you got played, bro.  Yes, it hurts, but you minimize your future pain when you get good with you, chart your course, and then stay your course.  Understand how each gender thinks and what drives their choices.  Stop trying to escape singles life and start embracing it.  When you do, you'll start living your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey. 

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here and continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Find more information about this episode, including how to listen to the entire episode, by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Confronting loneliness

6/10/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
I also know the pure joy and hope that fill the heart and soul when you change the way you think and adopt a personal ministry.  And I know this is true because I’ve lived that joy and am living it now.
Recently I saw a Facebook post that captured my attention.  A single mother described her difficulty in confronting loneliness.  Rather than paraphrase her post, I’ll let her words speak for themselves.

So this loneliness is really starting to get to me! What does everyone do to keep from being consumed by it? I’ve been divorced for over a year, but I’m usually so busy with my son that it doesn’t get to me. After a break up last month though, it seems like there is now this huge hole in my life. Add to that fact the temple is still closed . . . . Throw me some ideas. I literally just got all dressed up with no place to go, because I’m that bored.

I should add, I have a great family around me that I do stuff with, I know to read my scriptures, and this isn’t an open invitation to send me pm’s from halfway around the world if I don’t know you.

I’m not sure what it was exactly.  It’s not like the situation this sister describes is abnormal, extraordinary, or unusual.  Confronting loneliness is part of the reality of singleness.  I just felt I should address the question posed in this post.

Don’t ask me to compare the loneliness of the never-married versus the divorced versus the widowed.  I don’t even know where to begin there, nor am I entirely certain that comparison would provide any real value.

What I do know is that I’ve had my own confrontation with loneliness and overcome it.  I know the depths of despair that can enter the heart from prolonged singleness.  I’ve been single for over two decades.  I also know the pure joy and hope that fill the heart and soul when you change the way you think and adopt a personal ministry.  And I know this is true because I’ve lived that joy and am living it now.

Change your thinking

Picture
Most of the comments offered in response to this single mother’s question revolved around two approaches: hobbies and renewal activities.  They represent two ways of what I see as fundamentally the same approach.  And that approach doesn’t address the real issue at hand.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not against hobbies.  And I’m certainly not against participating in regular activities that renew the spirit, heart, mind, and body.  In fact, having regular renewal rituals is a great way to live life.  We all need to recharge from time to time.

Yet neither of these methods proposed to combat the loneliness we LDS singles encounter solve the problem.  They’re simply bandages covering the problem with a seemingly healthy and often pleasurable distraction.  Avoiding problems will never solve them.  Real solutions always require us to act.

That action starts when we change the way we think.  We need to discard the notion that we have to be married or have some significant other in our lives in order to be happy.  We need to stop conditioning our happiness on the choices of others.  And we need to throw off any vestige of any victim mentality we have and replace it with a victor mentality.  We need to own our lives, taking full responsibility for whatever results we do have and recognizing the power of our own choices in delivering to us the life we want.

Adopt your ministry

Picture
Attitude without action will never bring you achievement. Some people get fired up with positive thinking, but then their lives don’t change because they didn’t really change, especially in the way they think.  Changed thinking always leads to changed action, which in turn always leads to a changed reality.

One of the best actions more effective ways of thinking always lead one to take is to adopt a personal ministry.  Your personal ministry is that unique contribution of goodness you make to the world, the cause through which you uplift and bless the lives of others.  We’ve discussed before on the program how adopting a personal ministry can help LDS singles overcome their challenges.  Here are just three of those reasons:
  1. A personal ministry provides a sense of progression when other aspects of life (dating especially) can seem stagnant.
  2. A personal ministry creates space for you to joy in the joy you bring to others through your personal ministry.
  3. A personal ministry makes you more attractive to a potential spouse.

Turn yourself outward

Picture
When you think about it, it’s not hard to understand why a personal ministry offers so much benefit for LDS singles seeking to overcome loneliness and other challenges we LDS singles face.  It aligns us with the path the Savior trod by turning ourselves outward towards others.

That’s in stark contrast to the bandage solutions mentioned earlier.  Again, I’m not against hobbies and renewal rituals.  But focusing exclusively here will turn ourselves inward towards ourselves.  That’s why they will never really solve the problem of loneliness.  Only by turning ourselves outward can we connect with others in ways that remind us we aren’t ever really alone.  Only by turning ourselves outward can we connect with the Savior Who fills us with His love that helps us to know we aren’t ever really alone.

If you feel consumed by loneliness, consider your focus.  Your focus will always determines your reality.  Change your thinking, adopt a personal ministry, and turn yourself outward.  You’ll shift your focus towards others and shift your reality away from your problems and into your possibilities.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Design your best life

5/1/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
The most joyful living is not an accident or a result of random chance....  It happens intentionally, by design.
Last week I declared I would settle for nothing less than phenomenal in my life.  That doesn’t mean everything will always be perfect.  Nor does it mean I won’t slip on occasion.  But it does mean I’ll do my best to live above my standard.

That determination opens the joy available in every moment of living.  The most joyful living is not an accident or a result of random chance but happens intentionally.  You must constantly choose to make choices with an awareness of what you’re choosing.

In that regard, a plan to guide your choices can help you consciously move yourself towards that joyful existence I call your best life.  Again, the most joyful living doesn’t happen by accident.  It happens intentionally, by design.  That means you can design your best life.

Take a lesson from a farmer

Picture
Many don’t believe that.  They assume life is the collection of circumstances outside their control.  But that’s why many people aren’t all that happy.

Your focus determines your reality.  Because you can choose what you focus on, you can choose your reality.  True, most don’t choose their circumstances, but that never stopped anyone who lived joyfully from living joyfully.  These people lived their best life because they made different choices with the same circumstances.

Some of us should take a lesson from a farmer.  Farmers don’t choose their circumstances.  They have the soil and the water that’s available.  Their seeds for planting are whatever they are.  The weather will be whatever it will be.  So much of what’s needful for the harvest is outside their control.  Yet with hard work in what they can control, they produce bountiful harvests year after year.

In like manner, we haven’t chosen many of the circumstances of our lives.  What we have is what we have, and it’s often all we have.  But if we work hard in what we can control, we can produce harvests of truly joyful living year after year.  This is what I call your best life.

Embrace what you control

Picture
I can hear many of you now.  What exactly can we control?  Here’s my answer: Standards, attitude, approach.

It starts with standards.  You’ll never design your best life without knowing what’s acceptable and what’s not.  The best delineations between what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t are made after partnering with the Lord to get good with you.  Once you know and accept who you really are and what your personal ministry should be, you can best draw that line between what you’ll accept in your life and what you won’t.  The more clear you make that definition, the more able you’ll be to live the life you intend.

Once you know exactly what you want, you need resolve to do whatever it takes to get it (within the realm of covenant living, of course).  You need the attitude of the victor and not the victim.  That attitude will fire your imagination to design a life you’ll truly enjoy and pull you through to that fulfilling end when the road there gets tough.

Of course, attitude without action will never bring you achievement.  To live a life you design, you must take action.  Working smart as well as working hard requires attention to one’s approach.  Too often we think what we seek must come in one specific way.  But much of life is not path-dependent; there’s often more than one road leading to the top of the mountain.  And sometimes the road that’s best for us to travel is not the one we expect.

Get clear and get going

Picture
With these three elements in place — standards, attitude, and approach — you can decide what you want your life to be and feel the joy that comes from working to make it happen.  Usually that means taking small steps every single day to inch yourself closer to the life you dream.

That’s where many of us fall short.  We don’t do the little things everyday that can near us to our best life.  Then, after a larger block of time has passed, we can’t help but notice we’re left standing on the pier because our ship has long since sailed.

That’s where being clear about your standards, attitude, and approach holds its best value.  Once you’re crystal clear on those elements, what you need to do everyday will be obvious.  Performing those seemingly small and insignificant actions everyday will collect to create the very significant life you design for yourself.

So what are you waiting for?  Get clear, and then get going. None of this happens overnight.  But as you move closer to the life you design for yourself, you’ll feel the joy that comes from making progress.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Ditch the plan

4/3/2019

0 Comments

 
"Just because your life hasn’t turned out the way you anticipated doesn’t mean all is lost.  There is always hope because there is always Christ.  And we take the first step to grasping that hope when we ditch the plan our culture has been feeding us."
Picture
Our LDS culture hands each of us a life plan describing how life is supposed to go.  We go on a mission, do college, start the career, and somewhere in that mix get married.  Then we live happily ever after with our eternal companion.

But the lives of many LDS singles differ greatly from that story.  Some haven’t married, others divorce, and still others lose a spouse to death.  Whatever the reason, those who find themselves single when they don’t want to be consider that happily-ever-after story nothing more than a fairy tale.

And LDS singles deal with the shock of that unexpected life chapter in multiple ways.  Some enter paralysis, unable to move outside of their newly found rut.  Some despair, thinking all hope is lost for them.  Others question themselves, wondering what sin they committed to deserve losing the blessings they were promised.  Other responses run the spectrum of possibilities.

Yet no matter the reason or the response, one truth continues to shine brightly.  Just because your life hasn’t turned out the way you anticipated doesn’t mean all is lost.  There is always hope because there is always Christ.   And we take the first step to grasping that hope when we ditch the plan our culture has been feeding us.

Get a better map

Picture
Whatever your destination, you need an accurate map.  A map that doesn’t match your current landscape will do nothing more than obstruct and frustrate you.  It’ll never help you find your way.  And that won’t change until you get a better map.

That’s why most LDS singles need to ditch the life plan our culture feeds us.  It doesn’t represent their current landscape.  Perhaps it was fine for where they were, but it’s not a good map for where they are right now.  Want to move forward with your life?  Get a better map!

That better map will one you create after you partner with the Lord.  President Ezra Taft Benson taught that Christ can make more out of our lives than we can on our own.   He has the better map we need.  When we turn to Him, He’ll guide the next steps of our journey.

Let go of the past

Picture
Still, some among us insist on keeping that defunct life plan despite its mismatch with their current landscape.  Accordingly, they feel stuck, unable to move, because they can never live that plan.  Try as they might, they can’t travel back in time to make different choices.  We all must play the hand we’re dealt.

While in college, I had the possibility of conforming to the life plan.  But that ship has long since sailed.  So any insistence on my part to hold on to this life plan is insanity.  I’d be grasping at lost opportunities that’ll never be anywhere but in the past.  And no one can move forward until they let go of the past.

Why would any of us fight against reason and keep ourselves immobile by holding on to the past?  Reasons will vary with the individual, but many singles associate belonging with conforming to that cultural life plan.  The need to belong is a basic human need, and so they don’t want to accept the possibility that need won’t ever be met.

Follow His plan

Picture
And that’s the lie from our culture that we shouldn’t believe.  When the mark of belonging is being married with kids, you’ll never feel like you belong while you’re single.  Singles by definition aren’t married, which means by definition they don’t belong.

But you don’t have to believe that.  You don’t have to believe what’s handed to you.  You can adopt your own mark of belonging, one centered on Christ and your desire to be true to the covenants you’ve made with Him.  And adopting a personal ministry can help you do just that.

When you partner with the Lord and surrender yourself completely to the personal ministry He shows you, you’ll look forward to the goodness you can contribute into the lives of others.  The better map you need for your journey involves a personal ministry.  And the Lord can use your focus on others through the vehicle of a personal ministry to help you let go of the past, embrace the joy to be found in facing forward, and make more out of your life than you can alone.

So ditch the plan our LDS culture feeds us about life and partner with the Lord.  He’ll heal you and help you to move forward.  He’ll show you the next steps you need to take.  And He’ll guide you in your personal ministry as you focus on contributing goodness into the lives of others.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Don't you dare

3/27/2019

0 Comments

 
"These accomplishments and dreams inspire me.  Yet my mind turns to those who could have such accomplishments and dreams but don’t.  They don’t believe they’re meant for anything extraordinary.  They don’t see how anything approaching greatness could ever involve them.  The future they see holds no promise, no hope, and no joy."
Picture
I’ve been thinking recently about what I do here — this program, the blog, and everything connected to it.  I’ve had such hopes and plans for helping LDS singles everywhere live better, more joyful lives.  I still do.

Bit by bit, it’s all coming together.  I’ve come so far since that very first blog post on 12/12/12.  I’ve come so far from that first blog post on this website, the post in which I declared my desire for real in my life.  I’ve come so far from providing audio clip readings of my posts.  And I’ve got farther yet to go before I’m done.

These accomplishments and dreams inspire me.  Yet my mind turns to those who could have such accomplishments and dreams but don’t.  They don’t believe they’re meant for anything extraordinary.  They don’t see how anything approaching greatness could ever involve them.  The future they see holds no promise, no hope, and no joy.

If that describes you, I hope you listen closely to the program today.  I have a special message just for you.  And it’s this: Don’t you dare give up on yourself.

Choose your joy

Picture
I know the depths of depression, the darkness that can envelope a soul in despair so devoid of hope that one wonders how life could ever be joyful for any but the luckiest among us.  But I also know that vision doesn’t have to represent anyone’s reality.  You can choose your joy.

Once, my sense of “logic” would find such statements repugnant, not to mention incomprehensible.  What I see now that I didn’t see then are the faulty assumptions underneath that thinking.  Just because others believe something doesn’t make it true.  Nor does it mean you have to believe it.  You can believe what you want to believe.

And you can believe that what you believe and how you think will ultimately determine your reality.  That’s how our brains are biologically hardwired.  You can choose to think more effectively, to give yourself messages filled with positive energy, to put controls around your emotions, to choose your joy.  You can choose your reality.

Let your light shine

Picture
Because you can choose your reality, you can choose to be a victim, or you can choose to be a victor.  You can choose to wallow within your own self-absorption.  Or you can choose to look outside yourself to how you can bless the lives of others.

Think of what that means.  We all posses the awesome potential for bringing goodness into the world, for making a real difference in the lives of others.  That means you have that potential.  You can inspire others to shine their lights bringing goodness into the lives of others when you shine your light bringing goodness into their lives.

But what would happen if you choose not to shine your light, not to make your contribution of goodness into the world?  Would others falter because they never had the light you could shine?  Would someone surrender to negativity because he or she didn’t have quite enough reserves to resist, reserves that would have been sufficient with your contribution?

The Master taught, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).  What distance between God and individual men and women will not be shortened when you choose not to make your contribution?

Partner with Him

Picture
That’s why you should never dare to give up on yourself.  It’s not about you; it’s about all of us.  So when you give up on yourself, you’re giving up on the people who stand to benefit from the contribution you could make, a contribution only you can make.  When you give up on yourself, you give up on all of the rest of us.

When many of us look our meager offerings, we wonder how so much could ever hang in the balance.  How could our contribution ever be so important?  The Lord’s disciples thought this way when they saw they had only five loaves and two fishes (see Matthew 14:17).  How could so little feed so many?  And yet in the hands of the Master it did.  Likewise, the Master can work miracles in the lives of others as you follow His direction to give your contribution.

Don’t you dare give up on yourself!  When life looks bleak, partner with the Lord.  He will heal you so you believe in yourself and your contribution.  He will lead you to those who need your contribution.  And His hands will transform your contribution into miracles in their lives.  You can bask in their love for you and for the Lord when you make that contribution you can make.  And that will bring more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Keep your half

3/20/2019

0 Comments

 
"We’ll never grow as we need to grow and learn what we need to learn without opposition.  To become what we’re meant to become, we must overcome our challenges.  So you shouldn’t want what the other half of the world has.  Just keep your half because it’s what you need."
Picture
Some things never change as we get older.  There will always be death and taxes.  The coolest toys always come out after you grow up.  And the grass is always greener on the other side.

At least that how it appears.  So many of us look at others and think their lives are much better than our own because they don’t appear to have our problems.  If only we could be like them, we think, our own lives would be so much better.

But that’s a lie we should never heed.  The truth is everyone has challenges.  When you solve one problem, you’ll find a completely new problem just around the corner.  Or you’ll merely swap your old problem for a new one.  Life wasn’t meant to be problem-free for anyone.

And that’s good.  We’ll never grow as we need to grow and learn what we need to learn without opposition.  To become what we’re meant to become, we must overcome our challenges.  So you shouldn’t want what the other half of the world has.  Just keep your half because it’s what you need.

Don’t run away

Picture
The longing after what appears to be greener grass on the other side of the fence is often just a desire to escape from our current challenges rather than overcome them.  If we simply ran away from those challenges, we’d certainly not progress towards becoming what we’re meant to become.

I know I wouldn’t be the man I am today if I’d decided to run away.  For example, on my mission in Guatemala, I constantly battled illness.  Had I agreed to come home early, I wouldn’t have had the blessing of teaching the gospel in my own language and to people from different parts of the world in the neighboring country of Belize.  I wouldn’t have had the companions I had, each one of whom taught me something.  My mission experiences continue to bless me and benefit my life decades after my service.

Facing our trials and working to overcome them have changed us all for the better.  We’re better people because we decided not to run away from those experiences but rather to embrace them and allow them to change us into something more than what we were before.

Embrace the opportunity

Picture
In addition, those challenges themselves can be blessings in their own right.  But we’re not likely to see that as long as we keep wanting to cross to where the grass appears greener.  We’ve got to learn to want what we’ve already got.  And that means changing the way we think in order to see the blessings our challenges are.

Sometimes that blessing comes as opportunity to bless the lives of others.  For instance, my experience being single for more than two decades has, to say the least, increased my compassion for those who struggle with the challenges of LDS singles life.  And that compassion is a large portion of the fuel that drives me in producing Joy in the Journey Radio.  How many lives have been and will be blessed because of my personal ministry?

If you feel the siren call of grass that appears to be greener, ask yourself who could be blessed because you stayed on your side of the fence.  Someone there may need your contribution, a contribution only you can make because only you have your unique personality paired with your challenges.

Confront your challenge

Picture
In the end, we are our choices.  The grass may indeed seem greener on the other side, but there’s much value in the greenness of the grass we already have.  We can all choose to lift where we stand, thereby blessing others while growing from the confrontation with our challenges.

Besides, nothing good comes from wishing we could exchange places with that other half of the world that seems to have a better life.  The results we want will never come from wishing because they can come from one and only one thing — action.  Better to spend our time confronting our challenges and learning how to overcome them than to waste away wishing for what will never come with the wish alone.

When you choose to keep your half instead of longing after the half someone else appears to have, when you choose to embrace challenges rather than seek ways to escape them, when you choose to see them for the blessings they are in and of themselves, then you’ll see that the grass on the other side of the fence isn’t that much greener after all.  That will increase your gratitude to God for His bounteous blessings you already have.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Called to care

2/27/2019

0 Comments

 
"Desire is the only requirement to serve.  We don’t need any special talent or skill, or look a certain way, or come from a particular part of town.  We just need the desire to serve."
Picture
I remember as a missionary reciting D&C 4 every day.  I recited it so often I could do it in my sleep.  Now, after being home more than two decades, I’d need a little prompting to get through it, especially verse 6.

Notwithstanding, I’ve always been impressed with the idea embodied in verse 3: “Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work” (D&C 4:3).  Think of that.  Desire is the only requirement to serve.  We don’t need any special talent or skill, or look a certain way, or come from a particular part of town.  We just need the desire to serve.

Over the past year, the Church has emphasized ministering to one another.  We’ve each been called to serve in a higher and holier way, but we’ve always been called to refine our devotion to God through service to our neighbors.  And all we need is the desire to serve.

Lately the program has touched on the need for LDS singles to adopt a personal ministry.  All that requires is the desire to serve.  And we all have some cause we can serve, because we’ve all been called to care.

Choose to serve

Picture
Why do singles adopt the personal ministry they do?  I mean, no one’s forcing them to adopt anything.  I’ve just been encouraging it since 2016 because I want to help LDS singles everywhere live happier, more joyful lives.

And that’s just it.  Joy in the Journey Radio is my personal ministry.  I embraced it as such because I wanted to.  And so has every LDS single who’s adopted a personal ministry.  They adopt their personal ministry because they want to.

That desire to serve propels any meaningful effort.  And that’s an essential ingredient for happiness.  Happiness is giving your all to the right things for you.  When you give your all to the personal ministry that’s right for you, you can’t help but be filled with happiness.

Choose to be happy

Picture
That means happiness is a choice.  We choose to be happy irrespective of our circumstances.  If that sounds impossible or just plain wrong to you, please open your mind while you walk with me a bit.

Happiness comes from giving your all to the right things for you.  A personal ministry is one of those right things.  All you need to embrace a personal ministry is the desire to serve in that way.  That’s a choice.  And because you choose to want what in the end brings happiness, happiness must itself be a choice.

Now, just going through the motions won’t bring happiness.  Life on autopilot can never bring happiness.  Only when we give our all to what’s right for us will we find the happiness we crave.

It’s that choice to give your all to the right end you choose that unlocks the happiness encapsulated in every moment of living.  And you can choose that regardless of your circumstances.

Embrace the simple solution

Picture
We sometimes speak of choices as belabored events lasting stretches of time, but the actual choice takes less than a second to occur.  Why then wait to be happy?

The choice to adopt a personal ministry takes less than a second.  The choice to give your all to the right thing in front of you right now takes less than a second.  The choice to be happy takes a less than a second.  Why then don’t more of us just turn it all on?

Pride masquerading as disbelief often obstructs our way.  We don’t believe it could be that simple.  We want to believe it’s more complicated because that would explain why we didn’t see it before.  We don’t want to appear to be idiots.

But we aren’t the first to travel that road.  The Old Testament tells of a servant who wisely advised his unbelieving master, the captain of the Syrian army, to put away his pride and follow the simple instructions of the prophet: “If the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?” (2 Kings 5:13) That captain washed and was cleansed.  Likewise, we should not discount the solution before us because of its simplicity.

In fact, the beauty is in the simplicity.  When you truly believe it can be that simple, when you feel God’s love inviting you to make that choice, and when you do what that requires — choose to give your all to all the right things for you — then you’ll find all the happiness that God has wanted you to have all along.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments

Believe, love, do

2/20/2019

0 Comments

 
"When we truly believe with all our hearts, love God and others with all our hearts, and do the right things for us with all our hearts, we will not just feel happy but be happy."
With all the recent talk on the program lately of striving for our best life, I find Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf’s remarks from the latest General Conference applicable, particularly for LDS singles.  Of course, he wasn’t speaking directly to singles, but that’s the wonderful thing about Conference.  You can often take what seems to be general and apply it specifically with terrific results.
Elder Uchtdorf’s remarks are no exception.  He begins by describing King Solomon’s trappings of worldly success — money, power, fame, prestige.  But at the end of his life, King Solomon described his success as vanity.  All his advantages weren’t enough to secure his happiness.

Many LDS singles experience something similar.  Though they’ve many blessings surrounding them every day, because they focus excessively on the one blessing they lack, they too see life as vanity.  They too wonder what really has worth when the blessings they want most continually seem out of reach.

Of course, it need not be that way.  Life is wonderful and beautiful.  And Elder Uchtdorf describes how we can capture that vision everyday when we believe, love, and do.

Believe

Picture
Everything starts with belief.  That’s why faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel.  If we don’t believe, we’ll never receive.

That’s because true belief always motivates to action.  You wouldn’t flip a light switch in a room if you didn’t believe the lights would come on.  Everything you do is based on a belief that some result connected with your action will occur or could occur.

Elder Uchtdorf agrees.  He declared,


In my experience, belief is not so much like a painting we look at and admire and about which we discuss and theorize.  It is more like a plow that we take into the fields and, by the sweat of our brow, create furrows in the earth that accept seeds and bear fruit that shall remain.
I remember a time in my life when I wanted all the trite sayings about having a happy life to be more than just words but something I felt and lived every day.  I wanted more than just the same old superficiality, pretending the life I wanted was just around the corner.  In short, I wanted real.

I think that point comes into the life of all LDS singles who are single when they thought they wouldn’t be.  Whether through divorce or death or just not marrying, LDS singles hunger for real in their lives.

But do you believe — I mean, really believe — you can get it?  Do you believe the miracle you want to happen can happen?  That it will happen?  Belief is always the first step.  If you don’t believe, you’ll never receive.

Love

Picture
The belief God will perform a miracle for you becomes easier when you feel His love for you.  This is why the Prophet Joseph Smith taught one cannot have faith in Christ without a true understanding of God’s character.  It’s through God’s love we best realize all of God’s attributes.

That’s because, when we feel God’s love for us, that love simultaneously communicates every other attribute describing God.  When you feel God’s love for you, you know more than just that He loves you.  You know He’s good because His love is good.  You know He’s kind because His love is kind.  You know He’s compassionate because His love is compassionate.  You know He’s merciful because His love is merciful.  You know He’s just because His love is just.

Elder Uchtdorf declared,


The love Jesus spoke about ... isn’t a gift-card, throwaway, move-on-to-other-things love.  It isn’t a love that is spoken of and then forgotten.  It is not a ‘let me know if there is anything I can do’ sort of love.

The love God speaks of is the kind that enters our hearts when we awake in the morning, stays with us throughout the day, and swells in our hearts as we give voice to our prayers of gratitude at evening’s end.

John the Beloved spoke truly when he wrote, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love” (1 John 4:8).  When you truly believe, you can reach out to Him and taste of His love.

Do

Picture
Of course, love like faith prompts us to action.  The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that the man or woman “filled with the love of God is not content with blessing his [or her] family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.”  When we fully give ourselves to that effort, we can transcend any of life’s difficulties, including the challenges of LDS singles life.

That’s why I’ve long encouraged LDS singles to adopt a personal ministry.  When we partner with the Lord, a personal ministry can increase our belief in God and the miraculous blessings He wants to give us as well as provide opportunity for us to love those we serve the way God loves them.  And when we allow the love of God to motivate us in fulfilling our personal ministry, we can feel for them the way God feels for them and see them the way He sees them.

Elder Uchtdorf invites,


Come, help us build and strengthen a culture of healing, kindness, and mercy toward all of God’s children.  For we are all striving to become new creatures where ‘old things are passed away’ and ‘all things ... become new.’  The Savior shows us the direction to move — forward and upward.  He says, ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments,’ Let us all work together to become the people God intended for us to become....

In the Church of Jesus Christ, we join with others who seek a place where we can feel at home — a place of growth where, together, we can believe, love, and do.  Regardless of our differences, we seek to embrace one another as sons and daughters of our beloved Heavenly Father....

I testify and leave you my blessing that as we believe in God, as we love Him and love His children with all our hearts, and as we strive to do as God has instructed us, we will find healing and peace, happiness and meaning.

I add my testimony to that of Elder Uchtdorft that when we truly believe with all our hearts, love God and others with all our hearts, and do the right things for us with all our hearts, we will not just feel happy but be happy.  And that will bring more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
Picture
0 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture

    Author

    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

    Donate

    Joy in the Journey Radio offers many free resources to help LDS singles everywhere, but it certainly isn't free!  Help Joy in the Journey Radio in its mission to improve the lives of LDS singles by donating today.

    Posts by Month

    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All
    Agency
    Assumptions
    Atonement
    Attitude
    Attraction
    Autopilot
    Balance
    Becky Craven
    Believe
    Best Life
    Change The Culture
    Changing LDS Singles Culture
    Christ
    Christmas
    Confidence
    Conscious Choices
    Dale G Renlund
    Dallin H Oaks
    Dating
    David A Bednar
    Depression
    Dieter F Uchtdorf
    Discipleship
    Donald L Hallstrom
    Faith
    Family
    Family History
    Fear
    Filters
    Finances
    Focus Determines Reality
    Full Life: Body
    Full Life: Heart
    Full Life: Mind
    Full Life: Spirit
    Future
    Gary E Stevenson
    General Conference
    Gerrit W Gong
    Goals
    Gordon B Hinckley
    Gratitude
    Habits
    Happiness
    Hope
    Jack Gerard
    Jeffrey R Holland
    John A McCune
    John C Pingree Jr
    Journey
    Joy
    Leaders
    Legacy
    Life Of Meaning
    Live In The Moment
    Marriage
    Marrieds
    Michelle Craig
    Miracles
    Neil Andersen
    Opportunity
    Own Your Life
    Partner With The Lord
    Peace
    Personal Ministry
    Perspective
    Philosophy
    Proclamation On The Family
    Quentin L Cook
    Real
    Reformat And Reboot
    Relationships
    Ronald Rasband
    Russell M Nelson
    Sacrament
    Self Talk
    Self-talk
    Service
    Stories
    Support
    Surrender To Love
    Taylor G Godoy
    Temple
    Thinking
    Thomas S Monson
    Trials
    Unity
    Valentine's Day
    Vision
    Walk By Faith
    Yoon Hwan Choi
    Zion

    RSS Feed

Offerings

Home
Radio 4 LDS Singles
LDS Singles Blog
Books
Speaking
Recipes
Home-centered Church

Production

About
Staff

Support

FAQ
Volunteer
Donate
Contact
Joy in the Journey Radio is a production
of Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
© 2014-2021 Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 21 Apr 21
      • 14 Apr 21
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
    • TED 13 Mar 21
    • TED 6 Mar 21
    • TED 27 Feb 21
    • TED 20 Feb 21
    • TED 13 Feb 21
    • TED 6 Feb 21
    • TED 30 Jan 21
    • TED 23 Jan 21
    • TED 16 Jan 21
    • TED 9 Jan 21
    • TED 2 Jan 21
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact