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Partner anew

3/24/2021

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The resulting experience has prompted me to wonder if I really understand what it means to partner with the Lord.
Recently I had the qualifying exam for my PhD program.  This ten-day affair tested my ability to perform independent research with a written and an oral part.  On Day 1, I received my topic to research.  By Day 7, I had to submit a written proposal for an appropriate research project that fills a current gap in the field.  The test ends with an oral presentation on my proposal and answering questions from a three-person committee.

I get two chances to pass the exam before being kicked out of my program, so no pressure there.  It’s a major milestone on the way to my PhD degree.  I experienced it just before Spring Break.
The major challenge for me wasn’t the test itself.  For me, it was keeping up with everything else.  I still had to attend class, submit homework, prepare for exams, and complete all other responsibilities.  Overwhelmed, I turned to the Lord for help.  The resulting experience has prompted me to wonder if I really understand what it means to partner with the Lord.

Surrender yourself

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I’ve discussed partnering with the Lord before.  The essential idea has always been to embrace the Lord as a partner for your life.  No matter how good you are, He can make more out of your life than you can.  So it just makes sense to counsel with Him and receive guidance as you make your way through mortality.

Yet my qualifying exam showed me an aspect I’d not before considered.  As I collected journal articles related to my assigned topic, I began writing summaries of the articles so I could compare and identify any trends as well as gaps in the current research.  But the shear quantity of content to summarize so overwhelmed me that by Day 5 it looked like I wouldn’t meet deadline.  How could I write a research proposal when I hadn’t even read enough to know what research gaps existed?

Not knowing where to stand, I went to my knees and pleaded with the Lord for help.  I’ve offered such pleadings before, but this time was different.  This time I surrendered myself completely to God, declaring a sense of dependency upon Him I truly felt inside.  I could succeed only with Him.  I needed Him to reveal what I should write and to guide me in finding the supporting material for that proposal among all the many articles I had collected.

Receive help

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That sense of dependency took what I thought partnering with the Lord was to another level.  I felt it so strongly tears freely accompanied my cries for help.  I truly believed what I declared — without Him to support me, I would surely fail.

I remained on my knees after concluding my prayer, listening for His voice as I wiped the tears from my face.  At length I arose and returned to my desk, ready to begin working.  I didn’t know what to do, but I was willing to do.

It was in that moment ideas began flooding into my mind.  I began to understand the direction I should take.  As I acted on those ideas, more ideas came.  Though the hour was late, I felt a resurgence of strength and energy fill me, allowing me to keep working on implementing the ideas coming to me.

Before long, I had a rough outline.  I worked all the next day to finish and then submit the written proposal.  I had a similar experience with the presentation, both in preparing and delivering it.  Soon afterwards, I received notice I passed the exam.

Partner anew

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That same experience played out as I fulfilled my other responsibilities.  I continued praying with that same sense of dependency.  Not only were my prayers answered, but I began to feel closer to the Lord than I’ve ever felt.

Pondering upon these experiences has led me to realize more what partnering with the Lord really means.  It means feeling so dependent upon Him you must have His contribution to succeed.  It means laying bare all you have, feel, think, and can see as evidence making the case for your dependency upon Him.  And it means rising to your feet after falling to your knees and walking forward in faith He will provide according to your need.

Though my experience was directed towards my studies, I recognize how this same process can apply to every area of life.  Don’t wait to feel the security and support the Lord is eager to give the willing.  Partner with the Lord anew, and take your relationship with Him to another level.  You’ll receive what you need to move forward, and you’ll feel closer to Him than you ever have.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Prepare and press forward

1/20/2021

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. . . the best way to pass those tests is to prepare and press forward.
Lately I’ve felt Elder David A Bednar’s address in the latest General Conference session entitled “We Will Prove Them Herewith” tugging at me.  I’m not sure why, but I’m sure the Lord knows, and that’s enough for me.

I remember how I felt as Elder Bednar spoke.  A semester of study was becoming my most challenging yet.  As Elder Bednar shared how preparation helped his law school friend with final exams, I felt strongly prompted to do likewise.  Looking back, I can’t say my preparations were perfect, but I did increase my efforts.  And my grades were better than expected.
Many of us see challenges as we look ahead both for society and ourselves individually.  Elder Bednar’s remarks remind us of the essential nature of testing in our mortal experience.  Just as tests in school help us compare what we know with what we should know and thereby provide opportunity to grow in knowledge, tests in mortality help us compare what we are now with what we can become and thereby provide opportunity to grow in light and truth.  And the best way to pass those tests is to prepare and press forward.

Prepare

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Elder Bednar related how the pandemic revealed the state of his own family’s preparedness for difficult times.  In some ways he was prepared, and in others he was wanting.

For those instances in which he and we are found wanting, Elder Bednar pointed to the Savior’s example of incremental increase “in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52).  I love Elder Bednar’s description of this approach: “a blended balance of intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social readiness.”

As I examine my own readiness in each of those four areas — the intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social — I find I’m not that different from Elder Bednar.  In some ways I’m prepared, and in others I’m wanting.

We all are, in fact.  That’s why we need to use the time we have now to prepare for what may come.  I recall President Hinckley speaking in the April 2001 General Conference Priesthood session about setting our houses in order.  Five months later, the aerospace industry took a nosedive from 9/11, and many Saints in that industry lost their jobs.  Those who failed to heed a prophet’s warning to prepare suffered when the testing moment came.

I love what Elder Bednar had to say about such preparations.


Some Church members opine that emergency plans and supplies, food storage, and 72-hour kits must not be important anymore because the Brethren have not spoken recently and extensively about these and related topics in general conference. But repeated admonitions to prepare have been proclaimed by leaders of the Church for decades. The consistency of prophetic counsel over time creates a powerful concert of clarity and a warning volume far louder than solo performances can ever produce.
The difficulties of the pandemic have revealed the state of our own individual preparedness.  Now is the time to act on that knowledge and prepare for what may come in those areas where we’re wanting.  Elder Bednar issued just such an invitation:

I invite each of us to “consider [our] ways” and “examine [ourselves], whether [we] be in the faith; [and] prove [our] own selves.” What have we learned during these recent months of lifestyle adjustments and restrictions? What do we need to improve in our lives spiritually, physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually? Now is the time to prepare and prove ourselves willing and able to do all things whatsoever the Lord our God shall command us.

Press forward

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When it comes to action, it’s good to have a plan and better to act.  Plans provide the framework for moving forward, but they don’t actually move you forward.  Only action produces results.  Only action moves you forward.

Elder Bednar told the story of a father who lost his missionary son to a tragic accident.  The father shared his family’s feelings at the funeral service — feelings of heartbreak but also feelings of determination to remain faithful.  When the moment of trial came, this family showed they were prepared to learn eternal lessons through their suffering.  That preparation allowed them to press forward.

We likewise can press forward when our intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social trials come to us if we do the work now to prepare ourselves for those moments.  And that means making choices.  Elder Bednar shared the following words from Elder Jeffrey R Holland.


“We are witnessing an ever greater movement toward polarity. The middle-ground options will be removed from us as Latter-day Saints. The middle of the road will be withdrawn.

“If you are treading water in the current of a river, you will go somewhere. You simply will go wherever the current takes you. Going with the stream, following the tide, drifting in the current will not do.

“Choices have to be made. Not making a choice is a choice. Learn to choose now.”

He then went on to say

Elder Holland’s statement about increasing polarization has been proven prophetic by the societal trends and events of the 22 years since he answered my question. Foretelling the widening divergence between the ways of the Lord and of the world, Elder Holland warned that the days of comfortably having one foot in the restored Church and one foot in the world were vanishing quickly. This servant of the Lord was encouraging the young people to choose, prepare, and become devoted disciples of the Savior. He was helping them to prepare and press forward to and through the proving, examining, and trying experiences of their lives.

Live the promise

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Moments that test us will always come in mortality.  As Elder Bednar explained, “the process of proving ourselves is a fundamental part of Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness.”  He then promised those who prepare and press forward will be able to pass “the ultimate examination of mortality.”

You can live that promise when you prepare for what will come and then press forward, walking in faith the Lord will support you as you act upon your plans.  Preparation doesn’t always prevent or remove hard times.  But preparation can make burdens easier to bear.  Preparation can provide the eternal perspective needed to learn lessons of eternal import when those trials do come.

So prepare and press forward.  You don’t know when all your trials will come, but you do know they’ll come.  Assess yourself now, plan to supply what’s wanting, and then take action on those plans.  The Lord will do His part as you do yours.  You’ll then realize in your life the promised pronouncement: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Step outside yourself

1/13/2021

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. . . the best way to get that expanded focus is to step outside yourself.
Recently I re-watched The Truman Show.  It’s a classic film favorite.  The cast gives a stellar performance.  There’s the philosophical aspects.  There’s the ethical questions the film raises.  Plus it’s just hands down a good story.  And I love good stories.

One of those philosophical aspects really struck me during this latest viewing.  In the film, Christof, the creator of the titular reality TV show, says, “We accept the reality of the world with which we’re presented.”  That line really hit me in light of current events.  But it also prompted some reflection.
When life seems to go bat nut crazy, you can easily get caught up in the craziness, because it’s easy to accept the reality we’re presented.  With that acceptance comes stress.  You wonder how the future could ever possibly be bright.

But the truth remains: Your focus determines your reality.  When you focus on crazy, you get crazy.  But when you include more of what’s around you in your focus, the craziness occupies a lower proportion of the whole, thereby diminishing your stress from the craziness.  And the best way to get that expanded focus is to step outside yourself.

Feel the wonder of nature

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I’m reminded of an old Native American question: “Who can own the land?”  In their world view, people don’t own land.  Rather, the Creator provides the land for all.

That perspective draws me out of myself to see the world as a place God created so His purposes for me and all my spirit brothers and sisters could be fulfilled.  That view helps me to experience more fully the wonder of the world around me.  And having lived across the United States, I’ve seen many marvelous wonders of natural landscape.

I can’t help but be biased towards mountains.  Mountains breathe strength and determination into me.  They seem like a natural representation for closeness to God.  That said, I’ve felt a certain calm watching the tide roll in the shore of a lake or the edge of the ocean.  I’ve marveled at the way sunlight bends around the curves of rolling prairies.  Even the desert has a beauty all its own.

Only when I step outside myself do I experience the full wonder the natural world offers.  Only when I step outside myself do I feel full gratitude to God for creating such a beautiful world for me to live in.

See more as God sees

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That perspective of God’s creation invites me to see more as He sees.  When I see the world as His creation to fulfill His eternal purposes for me, I naturally recall God did likewise for all His children.  God has a plan, and He is in control.

And that plan hasn’t changed.  It’s the same plan He’s had all along, the one presented in the council in heaven, the one Satan rejected, the one our Savior supported, the one calling for all of us to experience mortality in this world and with it the opportunity to grow in the eternities into something more than we could ever become otherwise.

Likewise, God retains the same control today He’s always had.  He was in control when the same plan He’s always had was presented in heaven.  He was in control when He created this world and the rest of the universe.  He’s been in control throughout human history.  And He retains that same control today.

Live by faith with intention

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None of this is to say the challenges the craziness around us presents aren’t real.  I’m not advocating we fix rose-colored glasses on our faces.  God’s continual control doesn’t mean life won’t ever get difficult.  But His control does mean He’ll guide us through troubled times and strengthen us to persevere through difficult days.  And we best hear His voice and receive His strength on the covenant path.

So the question then is this: What path will you choose?  Will it be the covenant path?  Or will you take a different path?  The path to happiness is found in living by faith with intention to give your all to all the right things for you.  Those right things include making and keeping sacred covenants with God.  They also include embracing a personal ministry to share your light with the world around you.

When you step outside yourself, you can more clearly see beyond the challenges current circumstances present.  You can feel the wonders in the world around you.  You can see your current place in your life more as God sees it.  You can live by faith He’ll guide you away from dangers.  You can feel His strength as you pursue a life of contribution with intention.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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By and by

10/7/2020

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I'm learning to trust that the blessings I long for most in my life will come, as Elder Holland declared, by and by.
Wasn't Conference wonderful?  I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing we could have had this benefit much sooner.  And yet I'm also incredibly grateful it has come all the same.

Of course, now mine is the difficult task of selecting one of these excellent addresses for the program today.  And a difficult task it is.  But at length I have come to feel I should explore Elder Holland's wonderful remarks.

I'm not exactly sure why.  Maybe it's because Elder Holland started out empathizing with the many singles who desire that great marriage that eludes them.  Maybe it's because he quoted Elder Maxwell, one known for his grand way with words, before producing his own wisely worded pronouncements.  Or maybe it's simply the power of his simple promises that in the end all will be well with those who hold faithful to the end.
Whatever the reason, I'm learning not to question promptings to do good but rather simply to follow them.  I'm learning to trust, without seeing the end, that the end will be better than I ever could have imagined it.  I'm learning to trust that the blessings I long for most in my life will come, as Elder Holland declared, by and by.

See beyond your pain

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It's easy for all of us to get so absorbed in our own trials that we lose perspective.  And with that loss of perspective often comes also the loss of another sight — one that sees the way forward.

Many singles feel so burdened by the loneliness and heartache of singles life that all they see in their future is an eternity of loneliness and heartache.  Such an outcome should not surprise.  After all, your focus becomes your reality.

Singles who know the depth of that despair from seeming ever so out of reach of desired blessings intimately know loneliness and heartache.  So of course singles would feel comforted and appreciative of Elder Holland's early and earnest recognition of that familiarity.

But notice what immediately followed.  Elder Holland was just as eager and earnest in recognizing the depth of despair many trapped in a lonely marriage feel, seemingly ever so out of reach of escape from their familiarity with loneliness and heartache.

Without recognizing the pain others feel, it's easy to become so absorbed in our own pain that we can't see anything else.  Our pain becomes so enlarged we think it not only fills our world but that it is the world.

Trust in Him always

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That's one of the comforting aspects of Elder's Holland's remarks.  He reminds us that, regardless of our individual situations, we all feel pain.  We all ache under the burden of trial.  We all long for relief.

Yet we often pray for freedom and relief on our schedule rather than for faith to rely on God's.  As we plead with heaven to lighten our load, our pleadings will be answered, though sometimes not how or when we would wish.

As Elder Holland reminds us all,


   The times and seasons of our mortal journey are His, and they are His alone to direct.  He administers that calendar to everyone individually.  For every infirm man healed instantly as he waits to enter the pool of Bethesda, someone else will spend 40 years in the desert waiting to enter the promised land.  For every Nephi and Lehi divinely protected by an encircling flame of fire for their faith, we have an Abinadi burned at a stake of flaming fire for his.
   And we remember that the same Elijah who in an instant called down fire from heaven to bear witness against the priests of Baal is the same Elijah who entered a period when there was no rain for years and who for a time was fed only by the skimpy sustenance that could be carried in a raven's cloth.  By my estimation, that can't have been anything we would call a Happy Meal!

But then Elder Holland cut straight to the truth at the crux of the matter.

   The point is that faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed on our behalf.  That can be difficult in our modern world when many come to believe that the highest good in life is to avoid all suffering, that no one should ever anguish over anything.  But that belief will never lead us to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.
How did people come to believe that all suffering is necessarily bad?  Whatever its source, Elder Holland rightly suggests some suffering isn't bad.  In fact, I dare to declare some suffering is necessarily good.

Rise above your trouble

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No doubt those steeped in their own pain will find it difficult to believe any suffering could be good, let alone necessarily good.  As already noted, it's easy to be so absorbed in one's own troubles that it's difficult to see how those troubles could ever be stepping stones to tranquility.

And yet that's precisely why some pain is necessarily good.  Henry Ward Beecher once said our troubles are "the tools by which God fashions us for better things."  It is through our trials that we become refined and more of our best selves.  It is through our trials that we develop the characteristics of godhood.  It is through our trials that we come to know God.

How else could He be known?  Elder Holland says as much when he declared,


. . . one's life cannot be both faith filled and stress free.  It simply will not work to glide through life, saying as we sip another glass of lemonade, "Lord, give me all Thy choicest virtues, but be certain not to give us grief nor sorrow nor pain nor oppression.  Please do not let anyone dislike me or betray me.  And above all, do not ever let me feel forsaken by Thee or those I love.
   "In fact, Lord, be careful to keep me from all the experiences that made Thee divine.  And then, when the rough sliding by everyone else is over, please let me come and dwell with Thee, where I can boast about how similar our strengths and our characters are as I float around on my cloud of comfortable Christianity."
   My beloved brothers and sisters, Christianity is comforting, but it is often not comfortable.  The path to holiness and happiness here and hereafter is a long and sometimes rocky one.  It takes time and tenacity to walk it.
   But of course, the reward for doing so is monumental. . . .  When will these burdens be lifted?  Well, the answer is by and by.  And whether that be a short period or a long one, it is not always ours to say.  But by the grace of God, the blessings will come to those who hold fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  That issue was settled in a very private garden on a very public hill in Jerusalem long ago.

We all have pain in this life.  But when we look beyond our own pain to see the pain in others, we find it easier to see our own in perspective.  We find it easier to reach out to help others.  We find it easier to see meaning and purpose in our own suffering.  And we find it easier to trust God through bad seasons as well as good ones.  We find it easier to walk in faith and confidence that the promised blessings will come to us by and by.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to the full episode Find more And you can find out how to listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Better than the grandest

9/23/2020

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... many of us sincerely intend both to do better and to become better.  Yet the smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.
Life has a way of lulling us into habitual inactivity.  It's easy to dream of having a better life and becoming a better person.  But few of us will actually take any step towards positive change.

And that's why many of us don't have the life we really want.  Results don't come from wishing.  Results don't come from intentions.  Results come from one thing and one thing only — action.  Only when you act do you get results.

And the results you get correspond with the action you take.  Poor actions produce poor results.  Effective actions produce effective results.  And no action produces no results.
That's the place where many of us live, or rather the place where many of us exist as the walking dead, wandering zombies in lives on autopilot.  We want a better life, we want to change for the better, and many of us sincerely intend both to do better and to become better.  Yet the smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.

Don't just dream

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Why such resistance to embracing positive change?  We keep dreaming but never doing.  Why is that?

It's not because we're lazy, at least not for most of us.  We're biologically hardwired to operate out of habit.  That means we're naturally designed to maintain a status quo, and that means resisting change because change by definition doesn't maintain a status quo.

Dreams, on the other hand, don't threaten the status quo, because dreams don't really change anything.  Dreaming doesn't require any change in habits, so your natural design can continue business as usual while you dream to your heart's content.

And so, many of us dream and dream.  And the life we have in return is the same and the same.  Then when we recognize some undesired feature of this same but actual life, the only response many give is to complain and dream of a different life.

But only when you consciously choose to act against your biological design to operate out of habit and step towards your dreams will they ever begin to come true.  Results come from one thing and one thing only — action.  To get a result you've never had, you've got to do things you've never done.  You must act!

Have a little faith

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And the best part is it doesn't take a lot to get a lot.  Goodness has such inherent power that a little can go a long way.  Seemingly small actions can produce powerful results.

Nephi once wrote, "And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29).  He was speaking about the Liahona, the small compass that guided him and his company to the promised land.  Alma later spoke to his son Helaman about that compass, saying, "because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works" (Alma 37:41).  By exercising a little faith, the spindles pointed the way those early sojourners should go.

But because the action needed was small, it was also easy to forget.  As Alma explained,


. . . They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;
     Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions. (Alma 37:41-42)

It works both ways.  Seemingly small actions can produce powerful results.

With as long as I've been single, I've attended literally thousands of singles activities, but the small handful of treasured memories I have of those that actually made a difference in my life are of the small acts of kindness that others extended towards me.  Those seemingly small acts produced a powerful result in me that I still carry with me.

Get to work

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Each of us could confess to having similar moments in our lives.  Seemingly small acts of goodness someone else extended to us have touched us, lifted us, strengthened us, and encouraged us when we needed it.  We all can and should pay that forward.

For me, that's the best aspect of these actions.  They're so small anyone can do them.  You don't need to be terribly gifted in anything.  In fact, you already have all the gifts you need to wield the power within seemingly small actions — the gifts of agency and time.  When you choose to fill your time with the seemingly small actions that can make a difference in the lives of others and your own, you can effect real change in your life.

So what are you waiting for?  Stop wishing and start working.  The smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.  Only action produces results.  When you take the seemingly small actions to share goodness with others or to improve yourself, you move yourself closer to making your dreams reality.  And with continued, consistent effort over time, you'll begin to see yourself moving closer to your dreams.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here and continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Find more information about this episode, including how to listen to the entire episode, by going to the show page for this episode.
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Look to the Savior

7/15/2020

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We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.
Perusing the possibilities for the program today, I returned to Conference and found Elder John A. McCune's address"Come unto Christ – Living as Latter-day Saints."  As I read it, I saw very clearly how much of that address applies directly to singles.

That may surprise some, given Elder McCune never once mentioned the singles.  He begins by describing holding a page of the original Book of Mormon manuscript.  His mind reflects first on the Prophet Joseph Smith and then on Nephi, both of whom did difficult things because they stayed focused on the Savior.
Of course, Nephi is a key clue indicating direct applicability to singles.  After all, Nephi was a stud of a single adult.  Many of the epic faith-promoting stories about him — "I will go and do," for instance, or retrieving the plates from Jerusalem, or the vision of the tree of life — were realized while Nephi was a faithful single adult.

What inspiration has lit the world from that valiant example!  We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.

Look to Him

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That's exactly where Elder McCune's remarks went.  Addressing the general Church membership and not just the singles, Elder McCune admonishes all of us to exercise faith despite our challenges.  As we look to the Savior in those moments, we can feel the love and peace only He can offer.

Elder McCune shares a family experience after his son encountered a life-threatening accident to his brain.  In an almost empty hospital, all Elder McCune and his family could do was kneel and pour out their hearts to God.  "In the midst of this confusing and painful moment," Elder McCune recounts, "we were filled with our Heavenly Father’s love and peace."

Elder McCune continues,


We did not know what the future held or if we would see our son alive again. We did know very clearly that his life was in God’s hands and the results, from an eternal perspective, would work out for his and our good. Through the gift of the Spirit, we were fully prepared to accept any outcome.

It was not easy! The accident resulted in a two-month hospital stay while we were presiding over 400 full-time missionaries. Our son experienced a significant loss of memory. His recovery included long and difficult physical, speech, and occupational therapy sessions. Challenges remain, but over time we have witnessed a miracle.

We understand clearly that not every trial we face will have a result we wish for. However, as we remain focused on Christ, we will feel peace and see God’s miracles, whatever they may be, in His time and in His way.

There will be times when we will not be able to see any way that a current situation will end well and might even express, as Nephi, “My heart sorroweth because of my flesh.” There may be times that the only hope we have is in Jesus Christ. What a blessing to have that hope and trust in Him. Christ is the one who will always keep His promises. His rest is assured for all who come unto Him.

Many LDS singles sometimes wonder whether the challenges of singles life will ever end.  To those with such thoughts, I invite you to look to the Savior and walk in faith.

Follow His servants

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Walking by faith isn't easy.  Especially in these times when the pandemic has turned the world upside down, many seem intent on walking in fear.  We who have the light of the gospel can inspire faith with a focus on the Savior.  And we LDS singles can play that part in our day just as Nephi did in his.

Already in my new calling, I've participated in discussions regarding the return to weekly Sunday church services.  Many of the Saints have concerns — and rightly so — about the risks of infection.  Yet the Brethren have asked local leaders to accelerate the return to regular worship services.

Keep in mind the Church is greatly exceeding what local state and county officials recommend.  Yet even with that, many members resist the idea of meeting together.  Far be it from me to judge others in these trying times.  I certainly don't blame anyone for wanting to stay away.

Yet I would invite these same people I hesitate to judge to look to the Savior and follow His servants in faith.  Elder McCune spoke of the support we can find in focusing on and following the Savior.


As followers of Christ, we are not spared challenges and trials in our lives. We are often required to do difficult things that, if attempted alone, would be overwhelming and maybe impossible. As we accept the Savior’s invitation to “come unto me,” He will provide the support, comfort, and peace that are necessary, just as He did for Nephi and Joseph. Even in our deepest trials, we can feel the warm embrace of His love as we trust Him and accept His will. We can experience the joy reserved for His faithful disciples, for “Christ is joy.”
Nephi was able to do difficult things because he focused on the Savior and walked in faith.  As we focus on the Savior and walk in faith, so can we.

Walk in faith

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Elder McCune concluded his remarks by addressing the enticements some may experience to leave the spiritual safety of the Church.  He first mentions loved ones "who are questioning truth."  We don't want to abandon the gospel but also don't want our families torn apart.

I can't really speak from personal experience here, but I do like how Elder McCune responded.  He advocated looking to the Savior and remaining faithful to Him and His gospel.  It's hard to lift someone to higher ground from below.  As Elder McCune declared, "If our true desire is to rescue those we love, we ourselves must stay firmly with Christ by embracing His Church and the fulness of His gospel."

He then addressed those who think we don't really need the Church.


The adversary would entice some to leave the joy of the gospel by separating Christ’s teachings from His Church. He would have us believe that we can stay firmly on the covenant path on our own, through our own spirituality, independent of His Church.

In these latter days, Christ’s Church was restored in order to help Christ’s covenant children stay on His covenant path. ... Through Christ’s Church, we are strengthened through our experiences as a community of Saints. We hear His voice through His prophets, seers, and revelators. Most importantly, through His Church we are provided with all the essential blessings of Christ’s Atonement that can be realized only through participation in sacred ordinances.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s Church on the earth, restored in these latter days for the benefit of all of God’s children.

I bear witness that as we come unto Christ and live as Latter-day Saints, we will be blessed with an added measure of His love, His joy, and His peace. Like Nephi, we can do difficult things and help others do the same, because we know in whom we can trust. Christ is our light, our life, and our salvation.

I too bear witness that we singles Latter-day Saints can do difficult things when we look to the Savior, focus on following Him, and walk in faith.  It's not easy, but it was never meant to be, because it was meant to be worthwhile.  When we look to Him, the Savior's peace and love can fill our souls.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Ever forward

7/8/2020

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Whatever the challenge — be it a new calling that overwhelms or a medical diagnosis that concerns —  we can commit to move ever forward.
Life will always bring its ups and downs.  And they usually come compounded.  As King Claudius in Shakespeare's Hamlet laments, "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions."

That compounding effect can make our challenges more challenging.  We can hope the ups of life will also come "in battalions" to compensate for a multiplicity of sorrows, but that can seem like cold comfort in the moment of confronting challenge.

Regardless of whether life goes up or down today, the best response is always the same.  We need to walk by faith the Lord will not allow events to veer too far from His plan.  Whatever the challenge — be it a new calling that overwhelms or a medical diagnosis that concerns —  we can commit to move ever forward.

A new calling

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I actually had both of those events happen in the past few days.  The new calling came on Sunday.  When the stake president texted me to request a meeting, I knew it was about a calling.  I just didn't know what calling.

I learned soon enough amidst a mixture of surprise and overwhelm.  I expected a calling working with the singles.  That just makes sense for a man in my position.  But the calling extended to me was totally different.  I was called to be the new stake executive secretary.

That the Lord would want me in such a position truly baffles me.  Am I the one who should be joining meetings of the stake president with his counselors and meetings of the high council and such not as a participant, mind you, but as an equal contributor?  I just never really thought of myself in that way, and so this new calling feels a little intimidating.

But I accepted the calling because I know the Lord governs His Church through revelation.  I responded by walking in faith the Lord will support me.  In so doing, I have committed to move ever forward.

A worsening condition

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If news of a new calling is a blessing, this one wasn't meant to last very long.  Later that night I began to feel stomach pain.  At the time, it felt like I had just eaten something bad.  I wasn't sure what that could have been, but I wasn't overly concerned as I laid myself down to sleep.

A couple of hours later I awoke to an even more intense pain.  The pain wasn't so large it debilitated me, but it was large enough to keep me awake.  Try as I might, I couldn't get back to sleep.

Tired from a night of almost no sleep, I went to see the doctor first thing in the morning.  Considering my previous visit after a near miss of a heart attack, the doctor reaffirmed the earlier diagnosis and extended it to include the possibility of an ulcer.

Actually, it was more of a probability than a possibility; left untreated, my condition would certainly worsen.  The pain I experienced was most likely created from bacteria that precedes most ulcers eating away at the wall of my stomach.  We can't be sure until the test results come back in.

But we can be sure walking by faith is once more the best response.  I have a contribution to make, and I'm not going to quit what the Lord gave me to fulfill because of any medical diagnosis.  Certainly the one I received concerns me greatly.  But I am determined to walk in faith the Lord will support me.  In so doing, I have committed to move ever forward.

A determined response

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Life will always bring its ups and downs, but we can live with confidence when we walk in faith.  My decision to walk by faith hasn't lessened the overwhelm I feel in my new calling or the concern I feel in my unfolding medical condition.  I still have those challenges.

But the point of walking by faith is not to remove our challenges.  The point of walking by faith is to strengthen our dependency upon God to see us through whatever life may bring us — all of the ups and all of the downs.  With Him, nothing is impossible.

Whatever challenge confronts you right now, I invite you to join me in the response I have given and will continue to give to my challenges.  Commit to moving ever forward.  Your progress may be slow or perhaps so small that it doesn't really look like progress at all.  But by placing your trust in the Lord and walking in faith, you can, in the due time of the Lord, overcome any challenge placed before you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Live by faith, not fear

3/18/2020

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It’s hard not to be concerned about the growing pandemic, especially if one listens to the fearmongers who seem to swarm everywhere.  But we need not live in fear.
The coronavirus pandemic is sweeping the globe.  What started in Asia has now spread across the planet.  Certainly the ability to carry the virus without showing symptoms aids its spread.  We might not know we’re infected until it’s too late.

And the results can be disastrous.  For example, after they became overwhelmed with infection cases, doctors in northern Italy found themselves deciding who lives and who dies.  Immersed in evidence of what might happen, some in the media have inspired fear, saying places like Northern Italy offer a glimpse of the future everywhere.

In response, many have stormed stores and cleared shelves of items they believe to be essential.  Many employers have embraced remote working arrangements as never before.  And the economy has been seriously hit as many industries dependent upon people not isolating themselves in their homes suffer.
It’s hard not to be concerned about the growing pandemic, especially if one listens to the fearmongers who seem to swarm everywhere.  But we need not live in fear.  We can live by faith, not fear.

Resist the fear

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When I first heard about COVID-19 spreading beyond China’s borders, I began wondering if perhaps this would be the pandemic public health officials have been warning for years would eventually come.  As the situation escalated, very quickly everything changed.

Some seem intent on assessing blame, saying many will suffer for the insufficiencies of our initial response.  Others clearly intend to use the situation to further their own agenda.  I have zero interest in such efforts, since they don’t help anyone deal effectively with the current situation.

Neither will we deal effectively with the current situation if we succumb to Chicken Little Syndrome — surrendering to the fear spread by many that dark days have befallen us and prelude darker days directly ahead.  Indeed, as the Lord foretold, “... and the whole earth shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them” (D&C 45:26).

Yet I defy every fearmonger by declaring we need not fear.

Promote the faith

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How can I make such a bold declaration?  How can I be confident now is not a time for fear when the “evidence” for fear appears all around us?  Quite simply, I walk by faith.

And my faith is simple.  I know God lives.  I know He has a plan for His children, and that includes me.  And I know He will keep all His promises and fulfill all His words.

That doesn’t mean we can get away with being stupid.  If we ignore the counsel from competent public health officials, we risk infecting ourselves and those we love.  We should follow sound instruction and then walk in faith all will be as it should.

Notice I said “as it should.”  We don’t always know what “should” be in our lives.  But God knows, and we can walk in that faith.

Walking by faith in the midst of fear doesn’t mean believing you won’t be infected because you have faith.  But it does mean living with confidence God will not allow events to stray too far from His purposes.  That may mean I won’t get ill.  But it could also mean I will.  After all, I don’t know all of God’s purposes for me.

I do know, however, that in either event I can have confidence God’s plan to bless me with whatever is best for me will unfold.  And whatever happens, He will not abandon me.  His tender mercies will always surround me.

Shine your light

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That faith which fills me can fill you as well.  We can all walk by faith, not fear.  And the opportunities before us extend well beyond our own selves.  Because we have the light of the restored gospel, we can shine our light to others.  We can inspire them to walk by faith, not fear.

Can we see beyond ourselves to grasp the opportunity to share the light we have with all around us?  We can if we walk by faith, not fear.  I had just such a moment yesterday speaking with my landlord and his wife.  She expressed a fear to go anywhere outside her house.  I gently rebutted her comment with faith, saying if we take proper precautions to limit our exposure, we need not fret.  You could feel the reassurance which my simple, gentle faith promoted.

Let us all walk by faith, not fear.  Let us radiate faith, lighting the world around us with confidence that, come what may, God will see each of us to our best end.  When we do, we can increase faith in the earth.  We can expand the boundaries of hope.  We can multiply love in the hearts of all people.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Not just one thing

6/19/2019

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I can provide tools and teach you how to use them, but I can’t use them for you.  You must build your life.  And building your best life won’t happen until you own your life and accept that the change you need to make is not just one thing.
We LDS singles can overcome our challenges and enjoy life more fully.  But we must own our lives.  We must accept responsibility for the results we have in life.  Only then can we gain a full awareness of the habits holding us back.  Only then can we consciously choose to move closer to our righteous desires.

Most seem interested when I talk about those general concepts.  But many don’t want a journey of discovery in which they learn “here a little and there a little” (2 Nephi 28:30).  No, they want the answer handed to them all at once.  Some even want a cherry on top.

I recall a phone conversation in which a young lady asked me, “What is the one habit holding me back from getting married?”  She was calling after we had exchanged a few emails.  I tried to explain that there isn't just one thing but rather multiple things that require attention.  And I couldn’t get more specific because I didn’t really know her that well.
We’re all unique enough that my list of needed changes will be different from yours, because my truth about why I’m single is probably different than yours.  We both need to face our own truth, but the actual steps we take to apply that shared principle may be quite different.

I can provide tools and teach you how to use them, but I can’t use them for you.  You must build your life.  And building your best life won’t happen until you own your life and accept that the change you need to make is not just one thing.

Examine your assumptions

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The memory of that phone conversation has stuck with me.  Maybe it’s because the question asked is a common one.  "OK, so what's the one thing I need to do in order to . . . . ?"  It seems like an intelligent question to ask, but I've got a serious problem with it.

You see, it's really not that intelligent at all.

Run with me for a moment.  The question assumes you need to change only one thing in order to transport your world into a new and higher dimension of existence.  Seriously, what sense does that make?  I know that’s what we all want, but it’s just not realistic.

Here’s real: I've got more imperfections than Swiss cheese has holes and certainly more than most people.  And the vast majority of people aren’t that far behind me.  We all have many ways in which we can improve.

Ask a better question

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Here’s a better question: What is everything I need to do to improve myself?  With that answer, you take a more holistic approach towards making needed changes in yourself.

Of course, the answer to that question will likely overwhelm; we’re all so imperfect that the list of needed changes is quite long.  I recall the experience I had taking notes during General Conference.  The resulting list of changes I obtained overwhelmed me to the point that I didn’t want to take any action.  Making any progress seemed hopeless.

That’s why you should ask yourself this best question: What one thing can I do today to improve myself?  The answer to that question won’t overwhelm because it’s just one thing.  At the same time, this question doesn’t assume you need to do only one thing to improve.  The approach is well balanced.

Get to work

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Of course, simply knowing what you must do won’t bring the results you seek in life.  Results come from one thing and one thing only, and that is action. You must do.

When you take action, you can begin to understand yourself better.  You can make better sense of the terrain of LDS singles life.  You open yourself to receiving the tools you need.  And action leads to a sense of progress that is truly liberating.  You may have a lot to do, but conquering the one thing you need to do today will give you confidence from knowing you’re on your way.  And that knowledge makes the journey so much more joyful.

Don’t wait to feel free.  Don’t wait to feel better about yourself and your life.  No matter how much you need to improve, we all need to practice what President Oakes has described as “the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”  We make the journey to eternal glory one step at a time.

Never assume your list of needed improvements has only one item.  It’s not just one thing.  But take that understanding with you as you tackle the one thing you need to do today.  Doing so will help you walk by faith.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Face your fears

10/31/2018

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"If all of us were to step back and observe the situation, we’d see that all fear does is prevent us from taking the next step in our journey.  But whatever your fears are, you still control what response you will provide.  Will you allow your fear to control you and cower from your next step?  Or will you control you and take that next step?"
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Halloween!  That frightful time of year we embrace with a spirit of good fun means dressing up in costumes and of course eating lots of holiday-themed food.  And let's not forget the trick-or-treating.

But while we all spend one day a year approaching fearful sights with a gleeful sort of playfulness, many spend the other 364 days of the year cowering to fear.  Can we bring to every day of the year the same sort of playfulness that we bring to Halloween?

We all have our fears.  One of the biggest fears many LDS singles have is the fear of never marrying.  Whether that fear or another haunts you most, you’ll never conquer your fear by cowering to it.  To conquer your fear, you must take and use the power you already have within yourself.  You must face your fears.

Believe the Lord

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To start, you have great reason for courage. You’re not on your journey alone.  Your Heavenly Father has provided a Savior Who loves you so much that He never could abandon you, let alone would.  And that Savior Who created the universe is a powerful ally.

If you truly trust in that all-powerful Creator, if you truly have faith in Him, if you truly believe Him, you’ll never feel fear.  And that’s simply because you won't be able to.  Faith and fear cannot exist in the same space at the same time.

So when the Lord promises He’ll bless you, you can rest assured He’ll fulfill His promises.  And He won't just fulfill them in part; He'll fulfill them down to the dot of the last I and the cross of the last T.  So great will be your blessing that, when that glorious day finally comes, you’ll wonder how it ever was that you doubted Him.

And many of those promises are not just for the next life but for this life.  Yes, a few may have to wait for eternity, but I firmly believe that 99% of us can have their promised blessings here and now in mortality.  You may doubt and even laugh as did Abraham's wife Sarah, but the Lord will fulfill every syllable of every word of every promise that He makes to you. Period.

Partner with the Lord

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How do you believe that?  How do you generate such faith in the Lord and in His promises that you continue to believe fervently even when everything around you seems to say the exact opposite?

First, approach the Lord as did the father with the mentally disturbed son who exclaimed, "Lord, . . . help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24).  You’re never alone in your journey, so don’t try to go it alone. Walk with Him who gave His all so you could succeed in your ultimate journey.

Second, take action.  The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that faith is a principle of action.  That means you cannot have faith if you just wish and wait.  To increase your faith, you must increase your action.

This is why you approach the Lord first.  When you partner with Him, He’ll help you understand the next step you need to take in your journey.  When you then act on that revelation and take that next step, you walk by faith toward a bright and glorious future, one with the blessings He wants to give you.

Walk with the Lord

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Walking by faith doesn't mean never feeling fear, but it can bring courage.  And courage means doing what you need to do even though you may feel afraid.  When you walk by faith, you can face your fears with the confidence He will never abandon you.

If all of us were to step back and observe the situation, we’d see that all fear does is prevent us from taking the next step in our journey.  But whatever your fears are, you still control what response you will provide.  Will you allow your fear to control you and cower from your next step?  Or will you control you and take that next step?

When you take that next step, your courage grows, your faith grows, and you can walk and take more next steps with more confidence.  The more you act, the more your faith grows, the more your confidence grows, and the more you can live with the surety that the Lord will fulfill all of His promises to you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode!
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    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

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