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Step outside yourself

1/13/2021

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. . . the best way to get that expanded focus is to step outside yourself.
Recently I re-watched The Truman Show.  It’s a classic film favorite.  The cast gives a stellar performance.  There’s the philosophical aspects.  There’s the ethical questions the film raises.  Plus it’s just hands down a good story.  And I love good stories.

One of those philosophical aspects really struck me during this latest viewing.  In the film, Christof, the creator of the titular reality TV show, says, “We accept the reality of the world with which we’re presented.”  That line really hit me in light of current events.  But it also prompted some reflection.
When life seems to go bat nut crazy, you can easily get caught up in the craziness, because it’s easy to accept the reality we’re presented.  With that acceptance comes stress.  You wonder how the future could ever possibly be bright.

But the truth remains: Your focus determines your reality.  When you focus on crazy, you get crazy.  But when you include more of what’s around you in your focus, the craziness occupies a lower proportion of the whole, thereby diminishing your stress from the craziness.  And the best way to get that expanded focus is to step outside yourself.

Feel the wonder of nature

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I’m reminded of an old Native American question: “Who can own the land?”  In their world view, people don’t own land.  Rather, the Creator provides the land for all.

That perspective draws me out of myself to see the world as a place God created so His purposes for me and all my spirit brothers and sisters could be fulfilled.  That view helps me to experience more fully the wonder of the world around me.  And having lived across the United States, I’ve seen many marvelous wonders of natural landscape.

I can’t help but be biased towards mountains.  Mountains breathe strength and determination into me.  They seem like a natural representation for closeness to God.  That said, I’ve felt a certain calm watching the tide roll in the shore of a lake or the edge of the ocean.  I’ve marveled at the way sunlight bends around the curves of rolling prairies.  Even the desert has a beauty all its own.

Only when I step outside myself do I experience the full wonder the natural world offers.  Only when I step outside myself do I feel full gratitude to God for creating such a beautiful world for me to live in.

See more as God sees

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That perspective of God’s creation invites me to see more as He sees.  When I see the world as His creation to fulfill His eternal purposes for me, I naturally recall God did likewise for all His children.  God has a plan, and He is in control.

And that plan hasn’t changed.  It’s the same plan He’s had all along, the one presented in the council in heaven, the one Satan rejected, the one our Savior supported, the one calling for all of us to experience mortality in this world and with it the opportunity to grow in the eternities into something more than we could ever become otherwise.

Likewise, God retains the same control today He’s always had.  He was in control when the same plan He’s always had was presented in heaven.  He was in control when He created this world and the rest of the universe.  He’s been in control throughout human history.  And He retains that same control today.

Live by faith with intention

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None of this is to say the challenges the craziness around us presents aren’t real.  I’m not advocating we fix rose-colored glasses on our faces.  God’s continual control doesn’t mean life won’t ever get difficult.  But His control does mean He’ll guide us through troubled times and strengthen us to persevere through difficult days.  And we best hear His voice and receive His strength on the covenant path.

So the question then is this: What path will you choose?  Will it be the covenant path?  Or will you take a different path?  The path to happiness is found in living by faith with intention to give your all to all the right things for you.  Those right things include making and keeping sacred covenants with God.  They also include embracing a personal ministry to share your light with the world around you.

When you step outside yourself, you can more clearly see beyond the challenges current circumstances present.  You can feel the wonders in the world around you.  You can see your current place in your life more as God sees it.  You can live by faith He’ll guide you away from dangers.  You can feel His strength as you pursue a life of contribution with intention.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Miracles still happen

12/9/2020

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The Lord blessed me abundantly with this tender mercy, and my heart overflows with gratitude that miracles still happen.
The other day I received an unexpected surprise.  (Now there’s a real mystery.  How could anything be a surprise and not be unexpected?)  It absolutely elated me.  And since this is the Christmas season, I’m calling it my Christmas miracle.  And as crazy as 2020 has been, any miracle is most welcome.

If you’re a long-time member of my audience, you know I haven’t taken well to social media.  The pandemic has helped change that, but still I’m not intertwined with social media.

That may change.  The other day an old friend I haven’t heard from in some 20 years reached out to me via Facebook.  After all the craziness of 2020, it felt so good to be reunited, if only through chat messages, with a dear friend.  The Lord blessed me abundantly with this tender mercy, and my heart overflows with gratitude that miracles still happen.

How it started

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My friend and I served in the same mission — in the same district, in fact.  She and her companion were from Honduras.  As my companion was also from Honduras, I got dragged into a small circle of Honduran expats serving the Lord across the border.

We all got along famously, but this particular sister and I really hit it off.  We never broke any mission rules; we were completely appropriate in our interactions.  And yet we each felt there was something special about each other.

I was in my last area when we met, and so before long the time came for me to go home.  I had a wool blanket that had served me well but would not fit into any of my luggage.  I had no choice but to leave it behind.  I could have just left it for some future elder, but I chose instead to gift it to this sister.  I remembered her remarking at our last district meeting how cold she was at night, and I felt prompted to gift her the blanket.

She received my surprise gift with great joy.  And now all these years later, I’ve received her surprise gift with great joy this Christmas season as we have reconnected.

How it stopped

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We kept in contact after I returned home.  These were days when cellular phones were the size of bricks and email, though not new, was still in its infancy.  And so our communication occurred through handwritten letters.

Because the postal system in many Latin American countries is unreliable, the Church made arrangements to organize its own postal service for missionaries called POUCH.  (I’m sure that’s an acronym or has some significant meaning, but don’t ask me to know it, because I couldn’t tell you.)  Though I was no longer a full-time missionary, she still was.  And so POUCH worked out great.

We kept writing letters through POUCH after she returned home.  Now neither one of us were full-time missionaries.  For some reason, our letters continued to get exchanged, but it wasn’t to last.  Eventually, my last letter was returned with a notice written on the outside of the envelope to use the regular postal service.

I totally understood.  Using this system for missionaries while we weren’t missionaries put the whole system at risk of being shut down.  And if you’ve served a mission, you know how important mail can be for maintaining motivation and morale.  So I wasn’t going to argue.  But I did miss my friend and the joy I felt in reading her letters.

How it continues

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Now imagine my joy to see a Facebook message from that same friend after all these years.  We quickly learned about each other’s careers in the intervening years.  We shared stories about COVID and how the church has responded in each of our home countries.  And we relived the joy of friendship we shared all those years ago.  We picked up so well it was as though we had never lost contact.

Yes, miracles still happen.  And what better time for a miracle than the Christmas season?  This unexpected but warmly welcomed gift fills my heart with gratitude not only for my Christmas miracle but also for the greatest Christmas miracle of all.  As the source of all good, He is everything.  We have nothing without Him.

And so as we #LightTheWorld this Christmas season, let us open our hearts to the miracles that can unfold in our own lives.  Miracles still happen, both during Christmas and all year round.  When you open yourself to possibility and give freely to others, sooner or later others will give freely to you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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A new tradition

11/11/2020

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Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.
I tend to get reflective now and then.  It’s just how I’m constructed.  And lately I’ve been reflecting on a tradition I adopted a few years ago to improve my walk in the covenant path.

I’ve spoken before about my tradition of spending the last 40 days of the year studying and applying the Sermon on the Mount.  Each year I embark to deepen discipleship.  And each year I find myself well rewarded.

This year I’ve determined to take this to the next level by involving other people.  I don’t know anyone will join me, but I feel I need to attempt it all the same.  I’ll of course provide resources to help bring the group together and walk through the tradition.  And who knows?  Maybe I’ll  get enough people to do this with me every year that something old turns into a new tradition.

How it works

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Here’s how the 40 days work.  Every day, the schedule lists a portion of the Sermon on the Mount to study for that day.  That might be a single verse or several verses.

The schedule provides the section as recorded in Matthew and 3 Nephi as well as other relevant references for comparison.  The end result is a foundation of scriptures to compare at the start of the daily practice.  You read, compare, examine, and reflect.

Then you commit to applying during the course of that day what you’ve learned.  You go through your day, completing your commitment.  At the end of the day, you “return and report” by reflecting on your experience and writing about how it changed you.

Then the next day, you repeat the process with a new verse or section of verses as detailed in the schedule.  You do this for 39 days.  On Day #40, you reflect upon and write about your experience as a whole.

The next level

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I can’t speak highly enough of how this tradition has helped me draw closer to my Savior and become more truly His.  It’s not just study.  It’s a continual process of learn, do, and reflect that creates a journey similar to an ever expanding spiral staircase.

I’ve always shared this tradition with others.  But this year my growth requires me to invite others to walk each of the 40 days with me.  By walking as a group together, we can strengthen and support each other.

To that end, I’m announcing some changes for Joy in the Journey Radio.  First, I’ll provide for free the schedule for the 40-day journey.  Look to the end of the monologue blog post.

Second, to help those who want an extra aid, I’ll provide a workbook as a guide for walking through each of the 40 days.  Everything you need for each step of each day will be there, including side-by-side scripture comparisons, space for writing, and suggested commitments for application.  Because Amazon provides the best way to provide this workbook in the most useful format, you’ll have to buy it.  But I’ll keep the price as low as Amazon will allow.

Third, I’m going to devote the Joy in the Journey Radio Facebook page to this tradition.  During each of the 40 days, I’ll post the relevant scriptures along with something extra like my commitment for that day or some thoughts about the verse(s) for that day.  Others can then share what they learned or experienced, allowing everyone to be strengthened by each other’s journey.  And as always, joining and participating in the Facebook group is free.

Let’s walk together

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I’m not sure how I’ll manage this group in addition to all of my other responsibilities.  My calling and my schooling by themselves take significant time.  But I feel strongly I need to pursue this, and so I step out with faith the Lord will provide for me.

Day #1 is November 22, so don’t delay getting involved, especially if you want the workbook to guide you along.  Get the schedule and join the Facebook page.  You’ll see what I call the holy trinity of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Day) in a whole new light.  And deepening your discipleship is a great way to end the current year and begin a new one.

For all of us, 2020 has been an absolutely crazy year.  So come join me in adopting a new tradition.  Let’s end 2020 together by engaging a journey that will deepen our discipleship, bring us closer to the Savior, and help us feel more of His love as we strengthen and support each other.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
Sermon on the Mount 40-Day Schedule
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More and more equal

10/28/2020

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I am finding the Lord blessing me to be more and more equal to the more and more challenges that present themselves before me.
Halloween is once more just around the corner, though after experiencing what we have in 2020, the traditional festivities around ghouls and goblins seems rather muted.  And that’s not the only thing that seems muted.

I went back a couple of years to the program that came out on Halloween itself.  The monologue was excellent, addressing our fears as singles and our need to face them.  I highly recommend all to go back and check out the entire episode as well as read the monologue blog post.

But reading that post got me thinking.  How much have I changed in the two years since that program?  And have I changed for better or worse?  I haven’t surrendered to fear, but I confess I am finding it harder to fight the same fight I did then.  And I am finding the Lord blessing me to be more and more equal to the more and more challenges that present themselves before me.

Believe Him

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It helps me to remember I am not on my journey through life alone.  But it helps even more to vocalize that to someone.

A couple of weeks ago I had an extended conversation with my stake president.  Given my calling as his executive secretary, my recent struggles with singleness especially concerned him.  But I found that vocalizing my faith to someone who shares it filled me with an extra measure of strength that I previously did not know.

And how I needed that strength!  It’s one thing to believe the promises of the Lord when you seem to have all the time in the world.  But as you age and that window of youthful opportunity gets smaller and smaller, it gets harder and harder to believe.

But whatever difficulty or ease we each may have in believing does not change the essential truth of His promises.  That thought gives me courage, and so it can to you as well.  The Lord will fulfill every single one of His promises to you [pun intended].  So great will be your blessing that, when that glorious day finally comes, you’ll wonder how it ever was that you doubted Him.

Approach Him

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How do you believe that?  How do you generate such faith in the Lord and in His promises that you continue to believe fervently even when everything around you seems to say the exact opposite?

You must first approach the Lord.  We must walk in the ways of the Master Who still has power to calm the waves and the storms around us.  Then you must take action.  You can’t just wish and wait, expecting your blessings to come.  To increase your faith, you must increase your action.  To believe Him more, you must walk more in the covenant path.

As I reflect upon my own performance, I quickly see my shortcomings.  That’s not surprising given my lifelong status as a walking construction zone.  But perfection is not about performance; it’s about persisting towards proximity to Christ.  As we keep trying to follow Him and come closer to Him, He gives us strength to endure well the time before our blessings come, whether that time be short or long.

Trust Him

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In the post from two years ago, I said, “If all of us were to step back and observe the situation, we’d see that all fear does is prevent us from taking the next step in our journey.  But whatever your fears are, you still control what response you will provide.  Will you allow your fear to control you and cower from your next step?  Or will you control you and take that next step?”

The moments I experience now try me more than the moments I encountered two years ago.  But reading those words from two years ago now gives me added strength to endure well my more trying moments in the present and added hope my moments in the future will still be brighter and more glorious than I could ever imagine.

The Lord will grant you the tender mercies you need to face your fears just as He has for me.  He will help you to trust Him.  And when you truly trust Him, you can walk by faith even if your path is upon the very water that waves against you in the storm.  When you trust Him, He will show you your diligence and patience will not go unrewarded.  When you trust Him, He will make you more and more equal to whatever challenge confronts you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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By and by

10/7/2020

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I'm learning to trust that the blessings I long for most in my life will come, as Elder Holland declared, by and by.
Wasn't Conference wonderful?  I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing we could have had this benefit much sooner.  And yet I'm also incredibly grateful it has come all the same.

Of course, now mine is the difficult task of selecting one of these excellent addresses for the program today.  And a difficult task it is.  But at length I have come to feel I should explore Elder Holland's wonderful remarks.

I'm not exactly sure why.  Maybe it's because Elder Holland started out empathizing with the many singles who desire that great marriage that eludes them.  Maybe it's because he quoted Elder Maxwell, one known for his grand way with words, before producing his own wisely worded pronouncements.  Or maybe it's simply the power of his simple promises that in the end all will be well with those who hold faithful to the end.
Whatever the reason, I'm learning not to question promptings to do good but rather simply to follow them.  I'm learning to trust, without seeing the end, that the end will be better than I ever could have imagined it.  I'm learning to trust that the blessings I long for most in my life will come, as Elder Holland declared, by and by.

See beyond your pain

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It's easy for all of us to get so absorbed in our own trials that we lose perspective.  And with that loss of perspective often comes also the loss of another sight — one that sees the way forward.

Many singles feel so burdened by the loneliness and heartache of singles life that all they see in their future is an eternity of loneliness and heartache.  Such an outcome should not surprise.  After all, your focus becomes your reality.

Singles who know the depth of that despair from seeming ever so out of reach of desired blessings intimately know loneliness and heartache.  So of course singles would feel comforted and appreciative of Elder Holland's early and earnest recognition of that familiarity.

But notice what immediately followed.  Elder Holland was just as eager and earnest in recognizing the depth of despair many trapped in a lonely marriage feel, seemingly ever so out of reach of escape from their familiarity with loneliness and heartache.

Without recognizing the pain others feel, it's easy to become so absorbed in our own pain that we can't see anything else.  Our pain becomes so enlarged we think it not only fills our world but that it is the world.

Trust in Him always

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That's one of the comforting aspects of Elder's Holland's remarks.  He reminds us that, regardless of our individual situations, we all feel pain.  We all ache under the burden of trial.  We all long for relief.

Yet we often pray for freedom and relief on our schedule rather than for faith to rely on God's.  As we plead with heaven to lighten our load, our pleadings will be answered, though sometimes not how or when we would wish.

As Elder Holland reminds us all,


   The times and seasons of our mortal journey are His, and they are His alone to direct.  He administers that calendar to everyone individually.  For every infirm man healed instantly as he waits to enter the pool of Bethesda, someone else will spend 40 years in the desert waiting to enter the promised land.  For every Nephi and Lehi divinely protected by an encircling flame of fire for their faith, we have an Abinadi burned at a stake of flaming fire for his.
   And we remember that the same Elijah who in an instant called down fire from heaven to bear witness against the priests of Baal is the same Elijah who entered a period when there was no rain for years and who for a time was fed only by the skimpy sustenance that could be carried in a raven's cloth.  By my estimation, that can't have been anything we would call a Happy Meal!

But then Elder Holland cut straight to the truth at the crux of the matter.

   The point is that faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed on our behalf.  That can be difficult in our modern world when many come to believe that the highest good in life is to avoid all suffering, that no one should ever anguish over anything.  But that belief will never lead us to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.
How did people come to believe that all suffering is necessarily bad?  Whatever its source, Elder Holland rightly suggests some suffering isn't bad.  In fact, I dare to declare some suffering is necessarily good.

Rise above your trouble

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No doubt those steeped in their own pain will find it difficult to believe any suffering could be good, let alone necessarily good.  As already noted, it's easy to be so absorbed in one's own troubles that it's difficult to see how those troubles could ever be stepping stones to tranquility.

And yet that's precisely why some pain is necessarily good.  Henry Ward Beecher once said our troubles are "the tools by which God fashions us for better things."  It is through our trials that we become refined and more of our best selves.  It is through our trials that we develop the characteristics of godhood.  It is through our trials that we come to know God.

How else could He be known?  Elder Holland says as much when he declared,


. . . one's life cannot be both faith filled and stress free.  It simply will not work to glide through life, saying as we sip another glass of lemonade, "Lord, give me all Thy choicest virtues, but be certain not to give us grief nor sorrow nor pain nor oppression.  Please do not let anyone dislike me or betray me.  And above all, do not ever let me feel forsaken by Thee or those I love.
   "In fact, Lord, be careful to keep me from all the experiences that made Thee divine.  And then, when the rough sliding by everyone else is over, please let me come and dwell with Thee, where I can boast about how similar our strengths and our characters are as I float around on my cloud of comfortable Christianity."
   My beloved brothers and sisters, Christianity is comforting, but it is often not comfortable.  The path to holiness and happiness here and hereafter is a long and sometimes rocky one.  It takes time and tenacity to walk it.
   But of course, the reward for doing so is monumental. . . .  When will these burdens be lifted?  Well, the answer is by and by.  And whether that be a short period or a long one, it is not always ours to say.  But by the grace of God, the blessings will come to those who hold fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  That issue was settled in a very private garden on a very public hill in Jerusalem long ago.

We all have pain in this life.  But when we look beyond our own pain to see the pain in others, we find it easier to see our own in perspective.  We find it easier to reach out to help others.  We find it easier to see meaning and purpose in our own suffering.  And we find it easier to trust God through bad seasons as well as good ones.  We find it easier to walk in faith and confidence that the promised blessings will come to us by and by.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Learn how you can listen to the full episode Find more And you can find out how to listen to  all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio by going to the show page for this episode!
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Better than the grandest

9/23/2020

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... many of us sincerely intend both to do better and to become better.  Yet the smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.
Life has a way of lulling us into habitual inactivity.  It's easy to dream of having a better life and becoming a better person.  But few of us will actually take any step towards positive change.

And that's why many of us don't have the life we really want.  Results don't come from wishing.  Results don't come from intentions.  Results come from one thing and one thing only — action.  Only when you act do you get results.

And the results you get correspond with the action you take.  Poor actions produce poor results.  Effective actions produce effective results.  And no action produces no results.
That's the place where many of us live, or rather the place where many of us exist as the walking dead, wandering zombies in lives on autopilot.  We want a better life, we want to change for the better, and many of us sincerely intend both to do better and to become better.  Yet the smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.

Don't just dream

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Why such resistance to embracing positive change?  We keep dreaming but never doing.  Why is that?

It's not because we're lazy, at least not for most of us.  We're biologically hardwired to operate out of habit.  That means we're naturally designed to maintain a status quo, and that means resisting change because change by definition doesn't maintain a status quo.

Dreams, on the other hand, don't threaten the status quo, because dreams don't really change anything.  Dreaming doesn't require any change in habits, so your natural design can continue business as usual while you dream to your heart's content.

And so, many of us dream and dream.  And the life we have in return is the same and the same.  Then when we recognize some undesired feature of this same but actual life, the only response many give is to complain and dream of a different life.

But only when you consciously choose to act against your biological design to operate out of habit and step towards your dreams will they ever begin to come true.  Results come from one thing and one thing only — action.  To get a result you've never had, you've got to do things you've never done.  You must act!

Have a little faith

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And the best part is it doesn't take a lot to get a lot.  Goodness has such inherent power that a little can go a long way.  Seemingly small actions can produce powerful results.

Nephi once wrote, "And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29).  He was speaking about the Liahona, the small compass that guided him and his company to the promised land.  Alma later spoke to his son Helaman about that compass, saying, "because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works" (Alma 37:41).  By exercising a little faith, the spindles pointed the way those early sojourners should go.

But because the action needed was small, it was also easy to forget.  As Alma explained,


. . . They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;
     Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions. (Alma 37:41-42)

It works both ways.  Seemingly small actions can produce powerful results.

With as long as I've been single, I've attended literally thousands of singles activities, but the small handful of treasured memories I have of those that actually made a difference in my life are of the small acts of kindness that others extended towards me.  Those seemingly small acts produced a powerful result in me that I still carry with me.

Get to work

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Each of us could confess to having similar moments in our lives.  Seemingly small acts of goodness someone else extended to us have touched us, lifted us, strengthened us, and encouraged us when we needed it.  We all can and should pay that forward.

For me, that's the best aspect of these actions.  They're so small anyone can do them.  You don't need to be terribly gifted in anything.  In fact, you already have all the gifts you need to wield the power within seemingly small actions — the gifts of agency and time.  When you choose to fill your time with the seemingly small actions that can make a difference in the lives of others and your own, you can effect real change in your life.

So what are you waiting for?  Stop wishing and start working.  The smallest good deed is always better than the grandest intention.  Only action produces results.  When you take the seemingly small actions to share goodness with others or to improve yourself, you move yourself closer to making your dreams reality.  And with continued, consistent effort over time, you'll begin to see yourself moving closer to your dreams.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here and continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Find more information about this episode, including how to listen to the entire episode, by going to the show page for this episode.
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Look to the Savior

7/15/2020

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We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.
Perusing the possibilities for the program today, I returned to Conference and found Elder John A. McCune's address"Come unto Christ – Living as Latter-day Saints."  As I read it, I saw very clearly how much of that address applies directly to singles.

That may surprise some, given Elder McCune never once mentioned the singles.  He begins by describing holding a page of the original Book of Mormon manuscript.  His mind reflects first on the Prophet Joseph Smith and then on Nephi, both of whom did difficult things because they stayed focused on the Savior.
Of course, Nephi is a key clue indicating direct applicability to singles.  After all, Nephi was a stud of a single adult.  Many of the epic faith-promoting stories about him — "I will go and do," for instance, or retrieving the plates from Jerusalem, or the vision of the tree of life — were realized while Nephi was a faithful single adult.

What inspiration has lit the world from that valiant example!  We LDS singles can foster a similar influence for good if we will do as Nephi did and look to the Savior.

Look to Him

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That's exactly where Elder McCune's remarks went.  Addressing the general Church membership and not just the singles, Elder McCune admonishes all of us to exercise faith despite our challenges.  As we look to the Savior in those moments, we can feel the love and peace only He can offer.

Elder McCune shares a family experience after his son encountered a life-threatening accident to his brain.  In an almost empty hospital, all Elder McCune and his family could do was kneel and pour out their hearts to God.  "In the midst of this confusing and painful moment," Elder McCune recounts, "we were filled with our Heavenly Father’s love and peace."

Elder McCune continues,


We did not know what the future held or if we would see our son alive again. We did know very clearly that his life was in God’s hands and the results, from an eternal perspective, would work out for his and our good. Through the gift of the Spirit, we were fully prepared to accept any outcome.

It was not easy! The accident resulted in a two-month hospital stay while we were presiding over 400 full-time missionaries. Our son experienced a significant loss of memory. His recovery included long and difficult physical, speech, and occupational therapy sessions. Challenges remain, but over time we have witnessed a miracle.

We understand clearly that not every trial we face will have a result we wish for. However, as we remain focused on Christ, we will feel peace and see God’s miracles, whatever they may be, in His time and in His way.

There will be times when we will not be able to see any way that a current situation will end well and might even express, as Nephi, “My heart sorroweth because of my flesh.” There may be times that the only hope we have is in Jesus Christ. What a blessing to have that hope and trust in Him. Christ is the one who will always keep His promises. His rest is assured for all who come unto Him.

Many LDS singles sometimes wonder whether the challenges of singles life will ever end.  To those with such thoughts, I invite you to look to the Savior and walk in faith.

Follow His servants

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Walking by faith isn't easy.  Especially in these times when the pandemic has turned the world upside down, many seem intent on walking in fear.  We who have the light of the gospel can inspire faith with a focus on the Savior.  And we LDS singles can play that part in our day just as Nephi did in his.

Already in my new calling, I've participated in discussions regarding the return to weekly Sunday church services.  Many of the Saints have concerns — and rightly so — about the risks of infection.  Yet the Brethren have asked local leaders to accelerate the return to regular worship services.

Keep in mind the Church is greatly exceeding what local state and county officials recommend.  Yet even with that, many members resist the idea of meeting together.  Far be it from me to judge others in these trying times.  I certainly don't blame anyone for wanting to stay away.

Yet I would invite these same people I hesitate to judge to look to the Savior and follow His servants in faith.  Elder McCune spoke of the support we can find in focusing on and following the Savior.


As followers of Christ, we are not spared challenges and trials in our lives. We are often required to do difficult things that, if attempted alone, would be overwhelming and maybe impossible. As we accept the Savior’s invitation to “come unto me,” He will provide the support, comfort, and peace that are necessary, just as He did for Nephi and Joseph. Even in our deepest trials, we can feel the warm embrace of His love as we trust Him and accept His will. We can experience the joy reserved for His faithful disciples, for “Christ is joy.”
Nephi was able to do difficult things because he focused on the Savior and walked in faith.  As we focus on the Savior and walk in faith, so can we.

Walk in faith

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Elder McCune concluded his remarks by addressing the enticements some may experience to leave the spiritual safety of the Church.  He first mentions loved ones "who are questioning truth."  We don't want to abandon the gospel but also don't want our families torn apart.

I can't really speak from personal experience here, but I do like how Elder McCune responded.  He advocated looking to the Savior and remaining faithful to Him and His gospel.  It's hard to lift someone to higher ground from below.  As Elder McCune declared, "If our true desire is to rescue those we love, we ourselves must stay firmly with Christ by embracing His Church and the fulness of His gospel."

He then addressed those who think we don't really need the Church.


The adversary would entice some to leave the joy of the gospel by separating Christ’s teachings from His Church. He would have us believe that we can stay firmly on the covenant path on our own, through our own spirituality, independent of His Church.

In these latter days, Christ’s Church was restored in order to help Christ’s covenant children stay on His covenant path. ... Through Christ’s Church, we are strengthened through our experiences as a community of Saints. We hear His voice through His prophets, seers, and revelators. Most importantly, through His Church we are provided with all the essential blessings of Christ’s Atonement that can be realized only through participation in sacred ordinances.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s Church on the earth, restored in these latter days for the benefit of all of God’s children.

I bear witness that as we come unto Christ and live as Latter-day Saints, we will be blessed with an added measure of His love, His joy, and His peace. Like Nephi, we can do difficult things and help others do the same, because we know in whom we can trust. Christ is our light, our life, and our salvation.

I too bear witness that we singles Latter-day Saints can do difficult things when we look to the Savior, focus on following Him, and walk in faith.  It's not easy, but it was never meant to be, because it was meant to be worthwhile.  When we look to Him, the Savior's peace and love can fill our souls.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Ever forward

7/8/2020

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Whatever the challenge — be it a new calling that overwhelms or a medical diagnosis that concerns —  we can commit to move ever forward.
Life will always bring its ups and downs.  And they usually come compounded.  As King Claudius in Shakespeare's Hamlet laments, "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions."

That compounding effect can make our challenges more challenging.  We can hope the ups of life will also come "in battalions" to compensate for a multiplicity of sorrows, but that can seem like cold comfort in the moment of confronting challenge.

Regardless of whether life goes up or down today, the best response is always the same.  We need to walk by faith the Lord will not allow events to veer too far from His plan.  Whatever the challenge — be it a new calling that overwhelms or a medical diagnosis that concerns —  we can commit to move ever forward.

A new calling

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I actually had both of those events happen in the past few days.  The new calling came on Sunday.  When the stake president texted me to request a meeting, I knew it was about a calling.  I just didn't know what calling.

I learned soon enough amidst a mixture of surprise and overwhelm.  I expected a calling working with the singles.  That just makes sense for a man in my position.  But the calling extended to me was totally different.  I was called to be the new stake executive secretary.

That the Lord would want me in such a position truly baffles me.  Am I the one who should be joining meetings of the stake president with his counselors and meetings of the high council and such not as a participant, mind you, but as an equal contributor?  I just never really thought of myself in that way, and so this new calling feels a little intimidating.

But I accepted the calling because I know the Lord governs His Church through revelation.  I responded by walking in faith the Lord will support me.  In so doing, I have committed to move ever forward.

A worsening condition

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If news of a new calling is a blessing, this one wasn't meant to last very long.  Later that night I began to feel stomach pain.  At the time, it felt like I had just eaten something bad.  I wasn't sure what that could have been, but I wasn't overly concerned as I laid myself down to sleep.

A couple of hours later I awoke to an even more intense pain.  The pain wasn't so large it debilitated me, but it was large enough to keep me awake.  Try as I might, I couldn't get back to sleep.

Tired from a night of almost no sleep, I went to see the doctor first thing in the morning.  Considering my previous visit after a near miss of a heart attack, the doctor reaffirmed the earlier diagnosis and extended it to include the possibility of an ulcer.

Actually, it was more of a probability than a possibility; left untreated, my condition would certainly worsen.  The pain I experienced was most likely created from bacteria that precedes most ulcers eating away at the wall of my stomach.  We can't be sure until the test results come back in.

But we can be sure walking by faith is once more the best response.  I have a contribution to make, and I'm not going to quit what the Lord gave me to fulfill because of any medical diagnosis.  Certainly the one I received concerns me greatly.  But I am determined to walk in faith the Lord will support me.  In so doing, I have committed to move ever forward.

A determined response

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Life will always bring its ups and downs, but we can live with confidence when we walk in faith.  My decision to walk by faith hasn't lessened the overwhelm I feel in my new calling or the concern I feel in my unfolding medical condition.  I still have those challenges.

But the point of walking by faith is not to remove our challenges.  The point of walking by faith is to strengthen our dependency upon God to see us through whatever life may bring us — all of the ups and all of the downs.  With Him, nothing is impossible.

Whatever challenge confronts you right now, I invite you to join me in the response I have given and will continue to give to my challenges.  Commit to moving ever forward.  Your progress may be slow or perhaps so small that it doesn't really look like progress at all.  But by placing your trust in the Lord and walking in faith, you can, in the due time of the Lord, overcome any challenge placed before you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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Spiritually defining memories

6/3/2020

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They provide courage in times of concern and faith in times of fear.
How absolutely prophetic was the topic for the program last week!  In the week since that program about the formula for peace aired, American cities across the country have been set ablaze as rioters destroy property, loot businesses, and cause chaos to reign openly in the street.  And with all of this in the midst of a pandemic, peace seems to be anywhere but here.

Yet the formula for peace remains true.  And it doesn’t require circumstances around us to change.  The only change required is inside each one of us.  If you want to feel at peace, you need only make the needed changes within yourself.
In addition to the scriptures-Spirit-assimilation model we discussed last week, the Prince of Peace provides additional aids and comforts.  Elder Neil L. Andersen spoke of such aids in his address from the last General Conference entitled “Spiritually Defining Memories.”  These memories recall moments in our lives when the Spirit provides strong confirmation that God knows and loves us individually.  They provide courage in times of concern and faith in times of fear.  They help us to know that God knows that we know He will not forsake us.

Follow the prophets

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Elder Andersen began his remarks by recounting the experience of Joseph Smith with his spiritually defining memories of the First Vision.  The Prophet Joseph faced persecution and hardship because of both his experience and his witness of that experience.

But God never forsook him.  Even when he rode towards his assassination, he remarked, “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter, but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men” (D&C 135:4).   He knew that God knew that he knew God would not forsake him.

Elder Andersen then jumps to an experience from our current Prophet, President Russell M. Nelson.  Some years ago while President Nelson was a practicing heart surgeon, an elderly stake patriarch pleaded with him to perform a surgery he desperately needed.  The then-Dr. Nelson describes vivid pictures of how to perform the needed operation which came clearly into his mind during the surgery.  As Elder Andersen relates, “he knew that God knew that he knew he had been directed.”

Remember Him

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Elder Andersen provided more examples from both his own life and others he knew.  What strikes me about each of these experiences, including the ones from modern-day prophets, is that God always individually tailors whatever offering He provides.

As I accept Elder Andersen’s invitation to reflect on my own spiritually defining memories, I can see the same holds true for me.  Throughout my life, and especially as a single Latter-day Saint, God has always individually tailored His offerings to me.  I know that God knows that I know He loves me and is aware of me and my circumstances.

I remember one moment in which I felt particularly discouraged.  As is sometimes my habit, I was listening to Internet radio as I worked.  But in this moment, discouragement clouded my concentration, preventing me from focusing as well as I could on my task.

Then the Internet radio station began playing a song I had never before heard.  It spoke powerfully to the deepest parts of my soul, reaffirming my eternal worth and potential.  In that moment, I knew that God knew that I knew He treasured me and has always wanted so very much to bless me.

Elder Andersen provides this description:


You might think of your spiritual memories this way. With constant prayer, a determination to keep our covenants, and the gift of the Holy Ghost, we navigate our way through life. When personal difficulty, doubt, or discouragement darken our path, or when world conditions beyond our control lead us to wonder about the future, the spiritually defining memories from our book of life are like luminous stones that help brighten the road ahead, assuring us that God knows us, loves us, and has sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to help us return home. And when someone sets their defining memories aside and is lost or confused, we turn them toward the Savior as we share our faith and memories with them, helping them rediscover those precious spiritual moments they once treasured. [But] some experiences are so sacred that we guard them in our spiritual memory and do not share them.
God supports us in our eternal journey with spiritually defining memories.

Hear Him

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Ultimately, our ability to have those experiences that provide spiritually defining memories in our lives depends first on the will of God — because if He wants something to happen, it will, and if He doesn’t, it won’t — and secondly on our willingness to hear Him.   President Nelson has recently invited us “to think deeply and often about this key question: How do you hear Him?” as well as “to take steps to hear Him better and more often.”

The row we LDS singles have can be hard to hoe, but with the Lord at our side there is nothing we cannot accomplish.  The better we hear Him, the more we’ll feel His love and support.  He’ll bring spiritually defining memories to our remembrance, and He’ll graciously grant us more experiences that make more spiritually defining memories.  As Elder Andersen counseled,


Embrace your sacred memories. Believe them. Write them down. Share them with your family. Trust that they come to you from your Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son. Let them bring patience to your doubts and understanding to your difficulties. I promise you that as you willingly acknowledge and carefully treasure the spiritually defining events in your life, more and more will come to you. Heavenly Father knows you and loves you!
What spiritually defining memories are yours?  As you reflect on those sacred transmissions of love from your Heavenly Father, you will feel more of His love for you.  You’ll position yourself to hear Him better.  You’ll know that He knows that you know He loves you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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The formula for peace

5/27/2020

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I’m self-aware enough to know these results signal the need for change.  But what exactly should I change?
Recently I began an effort to improve my scripture study.  It was feeling too rote, and I just wasn’t getting the enlightenment and spiritual nourishment I want to get from that daily ritual.

I’m self-aware enough to know these results signal the need for change.  But what exactly should I change?  Everything or just a part?  And if just a part, which part?  And what should I change to?

After prayer and reflection upon the subject, the way forward became clear.  “If you want to know what to do with your scripture study,” came the idea, “why not study what the scriptures have to say about that?”  My first thought after this clear intelligence came to me was “That’s absolutely brilliant!”
I started my scripture study on scripture study last week.  And while I’m nowhere near finished, I found a verse that exemplifies the role I want my daily scripture study to play.  It’s inside a very simple formula for peace in life:

Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. (D&C 19:23)

Learn

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The scriptures are an obvious repository of knowledge about the Prince of Peace.  And while they aren’t the only repository, the scriptures should be the first resource we consult when our peace in life is challenged.

That’s part of what I want daily scripture study to provide.  I want to feel my knowledge and intellectual mastery of gospel principles expanding.  I want to feel spiritually nourished.  That doesn’t happen for me with a simple rote reading activity because I’ve progressed beyond satiation with simply milk.  I need meat!

And the scriptures have lots of meat, particularly for those willing to search for it, because many of the golden treasures in the scriptures aren’t lying on the surface for just anyone to pick up.  To get the gold, you have to dig.  And digging means interacting with the scriptures in one way or another.

Those in educational circles would call this active learning.  You’re reflecting on the meaning of words or looking for patterns or identifying themes or making connections between different verses based on their use of the same word or pattern, often with the purpose of answering a question or accomplishing some objective.

Listen

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Of course, peace in life requires more than increasing our intellectual mastery of the gospel.  Study does provides the foundation, but the foundation is not the entire edifice.  Knowledge is not power; power comes only when we act on our knowledge.  To build on the foundation scripture study should provide, we must listen to what we learn.

To listen means simply to hear, but it also means to follow and to comply with.  And if the Spirit is the true teacher, as is often said, then the real learning comes as we hear the voice of the Spirit and follow what that voice tells us to do.  After all, true comprehension comes by doing.

I take all this to mean I need to incorporate time for listening into my scripture study ritual.  After all, hearing and receiving instructions requires time.  My focus cannot be checking off the box next to this daily ritual appearing on my to-do list.  After all, your focus determines your reality.  My focus must be on acquiring the information the Spirit conveys to those who listen.

Walk

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That brings us to the third element in the peace formula — “walk in the meekness of my Spirit.”  I understand this phrase to mean more than simply following instructions.  It means incorporating truth into one’s lifestyle.

The ultimate purpose in gaining mastery of gospel principles is to deepen discipleship, to become a more effective servant of the Prince of Peace Who we have covenanted to serve.  And the promise to those who follow this three-step process of learning, listening, and walking is peace in Christ.

What a wonderful promise!  For me, the best part is it’s not conditioned on marital status.  We LDS singles can have peace in the midst of our challenges.  It all starts with a solid scripture study ritual, then continues with sensitivity to the Spirit and adopting the truth we learn into our lifestyles.  You might say peace comes from scriptures, Spirit, and assimilation.

Obtaining peace from the Prince of Peace won’t necessarily eliminate our troubles.  But it will help us to approach them with confidence and faith that all is in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.
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    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

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