I soon saw why.  President Ballard’s references to the pioneers really resonated with me in the midst of my own difficult journey.  In a way, I’m something of a pioneer.  I’ve had my first visit to the emergency room, my first hospital stay, and my first surgery.  The road I’m walking now is unexpectedly new to me.  But that new road just heightens my need to take footsteps of faith.

Despite the newness of my current road, I’m not entirely in unfamiliar territory.  I covered ground much like this on my mission.  Being sick all the time with symptoms that came and went so much I couldn’t tell you what the next day would be like, let alone when exactly it would end.  That sounds a lot like the road I’m on right now.

President Ballard mentioned his own missionary service in his address, and it caused me to reflect on my own service, particularly how it prepared me for my life.  It’s provided me a foundation for each new segment of my life journey.

That’s why I really appreciated President Ballard’s initial words.  Right out of the gate, he starts with bold testimony:

I need that hope now as I face my current challenges.  It’s one thing to say it’ll all be over because I go home at the end of two years.  It’s another when you don’t have such a marker in sight.

It’s not altogether surprising President Ballard centered his remarks around pioneers.  He’s spoken in past Conferences about his pioneer ancestors and the lessons they offered him — and through him to all of us.

Such references often get me thinking about my own pioneer ancestors.  I don’t know much about them because the principle one never kept a journal.  Perhaps my knowledge of my ancestors’ lives will change one day.

In the meantime, I can lean on others like President Ballard to fill that gap.  I was particularly impressed when he shared,

How many of us have really thought about that?  It’s easy to get wrapped up in the difficulties of our own lives, so much so we can easily forget that the story of how we confronted our challenges could help those who come after us confront theirs.  Knowing my response can help others gives me strength to make a better choice.

President Ballard spoke of other pioneers.  In particular, he mentioned President Nelson:

I so very much appreciated that quote from President Nelson, for if I ever needed a miracle, I need one now.  What a tender mercy!

Of course, President Ballard saved the best example for last — our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  That’s altogether fitting since Christ is the ultimate anything good.  Plus President Ballard’s remarks are entitled “Follow Jesus Christ with Footsteps of Faith.”  It’s not just walking in faith.  It’s walking the path of Christ in faith.

Moreover, it’s not walking behind Him so much as it is beside Him.  That concept I find especially comforting in my current difficulties.  Don’t get me wrong.  This road has been very rough, and I’m just getting started with it.  But even in my most painful moments, the Lord has never abandoned me.  He has stood beside me through it all.  His walk beside me in my moments of difficulty invites me to walk beside Him in my moments of ease (which will come one day, for eventually this all will pass).

President Ballard’s testimony of the Savior especially moved me.

Whatever road in life, may we each seek to follow Jesus Christ with footsteps of faith.  He’ll strengthen us to become shining examples for those who follow us.  He’ll encourage us through the voice of His Spirit and His living Prophet.  And He will stand ready to lift us to higher ground as our trials bring our glean to a brilliant glorious sheen.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

Regardless of what’s going on there, I know the Lord will be with me to see me through.  I know that because He’s always been with me throughout this entire ordeal.  He’s never left my side.  In fact, he gave me a wonderful experience.  The Lord has bolstered my faith through an unexpected promise.

Going into the hospital, I had no insurance.  I’ve been looking at options in recent years, but I always made too much money to qualify for Medicaid, and what remained was simply not affordable.  Something had to change, because there’s no way I can pay all the bills I’m racking up.  But with all the stress of it on me, I thought to put it off until after I get out of the hospital.

Sunday I was reading in the D&C and came upon an interesting verse.  The Prophet Joseph had traveled to Salem, Massachusetts, to pursue a claim of funds that could help alleviate the debts of the Church.  Then I read this verse: “Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them” (D&C 111:5).

I’d read that verse many times before, but this time it struck me with great force.  I felt as though a way would be prepared for me, that I didn’t need to worry about it and could focus on getting through this experience in the hospital.  I set my concerns about payment aside, but I had no idea what lay in store for me.

The next day, I find text messages which my brother had sent me while I slept.  His wife rarely speaks out with any sort of intervention in my life, but she had one that night and urged my brother to share it with me.

She spoke from her previous experience working as an office manager for an assisted living home.  And the advice was simple.  "Let the hospital help you apply for Medicaid, and let them decide whether or not you qualify."  I had looked at that earlier in the month and thought I didn’t qualify.  But having nothing to lose by following that counsel, I pursued it.

I started with the number for the case manager who had visited me earlier.  Eventually, I connected with someone who submitted an application for me.  And the application came back approved.  The real miracle of this event is that coverage begins from the first day of the month from the application date.  I applied on the last day of the month, so everything from the moment I first walked into the emergency room would be covered.

I didn’t expect the Lord’s promise to be fulfilled so quickly.  I thought everything would get resolved after I got out of the hospital.  But in His love and mercy, He opened a way for His promise to be fulfilled.

That may seem like a trite, little story, but the thought that came to me after I understood my expenses would be covered was neither trite nor little.  Through the Spirit, the Lord reminded me of the promise He made me regarding my eternal companion and testified that promise was still real.  Just as He fulfilled this unexpected promise regarding my medical expenses, He would open the way for His promise of an eternal companion to be fulfilled.

D&C 111 isn’t one of those sections that one would expect to provide special, faith-promoting experiences.  Yet an unexpected promise I received while reading that section has given me a much needed bolster to my faith, and I remain grateful to God for His love and mercy.

So open yourself to unexpected promises.  These tender mercies from the Lord can lead to the bolster of faith you may need in your life.  As you share that experience with others, you can help them increase their faith.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Another two years later, I need those words.  I find myself challenged even more with a hospital stay.  It’s a new experience for me, as is needing any surgery, let alone two.  All this has been unexpectedly thrust upon me.  Yet even in these challenging circumstances, I can still choose my response. And so can you.  No matter what life gives, when you choose to act, you can fight your fears with faith.

My most recent trouble began with abdominal pain, coming hard, fast, and sharp one afternoon.  It seemed to wane as the night came, so I thought I might sleep it off.

But the pain returned very soon after awakening.  Having recently been diagnosed with an ulcer, I thought the pain might be excess stomach acid.  I took a couple of antacid tablets and waited, but the pain continued on.  And it was so massive, I couldn’t ignore it.  But I didn’t know what to do.

So I prayed for help.  A voice I felt more than I heard whispered, “Go to the emergency room.”  I looked at the time and wondered if I shouldn’t try to tough it out for three or four more hours, because then the clinic, which costs less than the emergency room, would be open.  Again the voice whispered, “Go to the emergency room.”  So I got dressed, put my shoes on, and went.

There was certainly no sense of emergency in the people working there.  Eventually I learned my previous diagnosis of an ulcer was not correct.  My real problem is pancreatitis, a severe inflammation of the pancreas caused, in my case, by gallstones.  But here’s where it gets tricky.  Some of those gallstones have traveled into the bile duct connecting the liver with the pancreas.  Those must be removed before the gallbladder.  Due to differences in how surgeons enter the body for each of these tasks, two surgeries are necessary.

The universe isn’t without a sense of irony.  I was thinking just the other day very little in my life is actually going my way.  Everything seems a challenge, and I’m continually fighting from the edge of a cliff hoping not to fall over the edge into despair.  Then I get this.

As if that isn’t bad enough, the first surgery’s scheduled for Monday.  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m going to be under the knife on Halloween.  I think I’ve had my fill of irony!

Still, the choice we all have remains for me.  Where will I place my focus?  And what action will I choose?  Sure, I have fears.  In addition to ones stemming from current events, some of the same fears that plagued me four years ago continue to haunt me today.  That’s because I haven’t taken sufficient action to build the faith needed to conquer those fears.

And so it goes for us all.  When we focus on what we lack, we encourage inaction, and faith being a principle of action cannot thrive, leaving fear to reign.  But when we focus on what we can do and take action, always taking the next step we can take, we build the faith we need to fight fear.

It’s so easy to step back and surrender to fear.  So often we all choose habits of maintaining the status quo rather than consciously maintaining our momentum towards our best life.  But the easy choice rarely leads to great reward.

Faith is built only through action.  To have the faith the face your fears, you must act.  Initially, any action will do, just to get some momentum.  Once you start building enough momentum through any action, then you can shift your direction so you move towards your best life.

When you choose to act, you can fight your fears with faith.  The Lord hasn’t given up on you, so why should you?  Take His strength, act in that strength, and no matter what comes your way, you can truly believe great things are in store for you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Perhaps most importantly, it really made me think about the perspective driving many LDS dating decisions and the resulting challenge it creates.  Far too many filter decisions about not just who to date but who they talk to through the perspective of the natural man or natural woman.  Seen only through those eyes, we’ll never see the truth that everyone is beautiful.

Let’s start with a disclaimer: In the words of Indiana Jones’s father, “I’m as human as the next man.”  Conquering the natural man or the natural woman takes a lifetime, so we shouldn’t expect anyone to be completely covenant men or covenant women during their dating journey.

But we can expect improvement.  When I compare the man I am today with the man I was 10 or 20 years ago, those men were definitely more aligned with the natural man.  I’m not completely a covenant man, but I’ve made gains in that direction, and I’ve got the receipts to back that up.

That said, I still have work to do.  That’s part of the value I gained from watching this documentary.  When I first saw a full body shot of Lizzie, I recoiled.  I wasn’t seeing the beautiful soul of the person within, just the shell of flesh and bone that encased it.  The portion of the natural man still within me found that shell repulsive.

I’d expect most LDS singles to respond similarly because that’s how most people respond.  Natural men and women see only the exterior.  Those inner qualities of character which have value in eternity have no value to the natural man and natural woman.

When that natural mindset drives dating decisions, LDS singles will always discount worthy potential companions who’d be ideally suited for them because those options aren’t “top shelf.”  They could be sitting next to the very person who could make them maximally happy and never know it.

Worse still, most LDS singles aren’t even aware of how natural their mindset is.  They equate conquering the natural mindset with keeping the standards, and because they keep the standards, they don’t see themselves as a natural man or woman.  That self-image blinds them from seeing how well their dating decisions actually align with the natural mindset.  And it’s that mindset obstructing their dating journey.  They’re blind, and they think they see just fine.

That’s where this documentary enters stage right.  Natural men value youth and external beauty.  Lizzie has neither, so of course she’s single.  But as I listened to her story with an open mind and an open heart, I experienced a transformation.  I began seeing more and more the beauty living inside her.  And that inner beauty colored my view of her exterior.  After an hour and 18 minutes, what at first seemed repulsive had become welcome in my inner circle.

What changed it for me can change it for LDS singles in their dating journey.  Far too many insist so much on having “top shelf” they won’t even give the time of day to anyone perceived to be less.  But the truth is everyone is more.  And you’ll never see that vision until you embrace an open mind and heart while spending sufficient time with someone.

Everyone is beautiful.  Acting on that belief at first is an act of faith.  You act as though you see that truth even though you don’t.  Pressing forward in that walk of faith, eventually you reap the reward of your diligence and patience as the vision opens up to you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

We all judge too much by what we see directly around us, and this feature especially manifests itself in dating.  Far too often LDS singles look around for someone they’d like to date and, not seeing what they define as acceptable, quickly become discouraged.  That scene repeated often enough leads to hopelessness in the future.

Bright futures start with faith.  Faith helps you see what’s there but not readily seen.  In the context of dating, this could mean, first, you don’t see that acceptable candidates around you because they aren’t doing what you normally do and going where you normally go.  When you branch out and see new vistas, you’re more likely to cross paths with them.  The world is a bigger place than your own backyard.

Second, faith helps you see the person you discounted may be the one you’re looking for.  So many singles insist on having the “perfect” partner that they reject knowing many less-than-top-shelf candidates who’d make good partners.  Falsely assuming only the best can produce joy in life has kept and continues to keep many LDS singles single long than need be.

Lack of hope in the future often attends feeling powerless.  A focus there will lead only to despair.  To change your reality, you must change your focus.  Instead of focusing on the “evidence” for why what you want won’t happen, seek out reasons to believe.

Those reasons to believe will be easier to embrace when you take proper action.  I’ve never seen anyone busy working to make his or her dreams a reality feeling powerless, and neither have you.  That’s because it’s impossible.  When you busy yourself with the business of doing, you’re so immersed in evidence of your own power you can’t feel powerless.  It’s when you’re not doing anything that feelings of powerlessness can take hold.

Start feeling that power and savoring your life by listing what makes up your best life.  If you could have your best life, what would it look like?  What would you be doing?  Put those activities on your list.  Then start to fill your calendar with those activities.

So if you think your best life involves horse riding, great.  When are you going to ride that horse?  If you think your best life involves learning how to crochet, great.  When will you learn that?  Whatever you want your life to be, start doing what you can to live that life.  Don’t let what you lack prevent you from embracing — and finding joy in — what you already have.

While you’re making that list, don’t forget to partner with the Lord.  When you include Him in crafting your best life, you’ll get there much more easily than if you go it alone.  He might even help you see that what you think is your best life really isn’t.  Make the course correction He suggests, and you’ll not leave any joy on the table.

The key to maximizing joy in life is focusing on fundamentals.  Far too many LDS singles focus on finding ways to cross paths with that special someone, all the while forgetting that if they aren’t agreeable enough, no quantity of paths crossed will produce the desired result.  When you focus first on living your best life as much as you can, you make yourself more agreeable and your life more inviting.  That life is also the more joyful one, and that joy will only increase your attractiveness to a potential companion.

The future really is as bright as your faith.  When you focus on fundamentals, you can take more effective action.  More effective action produces more effective results.  More effective results will help you feel more powerful and desirous to do more, and thus the cycle continues ever upward.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

And that’s the rub.  Bettering our position to receive a miracle requires work, and most of us don’t want to work for our miracles.  We just want them to appear.  Yet miracles still follow universal law.  Appropriate work on our part aligns us with the universal law governing the miracles we seek.  That often involves delivering value, because at the end of the day, it’s all about value.

So many of our desired miracles involve other people using their agency to advantage us.  The miracle of companionship is one such example.  Yet this miracle like all others follows universal law, which begs the question:  What laws govern the occurrence of this miracle?

The answer resides in the fundamentals of the dating journey.  Those who align themselves with the fundamentals position themselves to receive that miracle more easily.  Those who don’t stumble and trip up over and over again.

Stepping back and looking at the fundamentals, it’s easy to see they’re all about value.  Arriving at any stage of the dating journey requires an agreement, and you secure any agreement by being agreeable enough.  That means providing sufficient value.  At the end of the day, it really is all about value.

And that’s where work comes in.  We can change ourselves and our environment to become more agreeable by offering more value and thereby position ourselves to receive more easily the miracle we seek.  And we’re not in this alone.  When we partner with the Lord, He’ll help us (1) to know what work we need to do and (2) to do that work.

We start by understanding what value we offer today.  Those who already offer great value have less to do, whereas those offering less value have more work to do.  Either way, we should seek input from others when assessing the value we offer.  We’re all inherently biased to overestimate the value we offer.  That bias blinds us from many of the imperfections diminishing our value.  Input from others combined with counseling with the Lord can help us overcome our inherent bias and blindness.

So when that 400-pound single adult partners with the Lord and considers input received from others, the realization comes that losing weight and taking better care of one’s body will ease the arrival of the companionship miracle.  Partnering with the Lord, that single adult seeks and follows guidance to assemble a plan and then involves the Lord in executing that plan.  Losing weight then becomes not just a physical change but a spiritual adventure experienced step by step at the Lord’s side with the intention of easing a miracle into one’s life.  Can we not feel the increased power behind this approach to securing miracles?  It all starts with a focus on value.

As we work to improve the value we offer, we need to remember value has different meanings in different contexts.  We also shouldn’t forget everything’s interconnected.

For instance, value in the dating context isn’t value in the eternal context.  We all already have immense value in eternity as children of God, but we all have different value when it comes to dating.  The value of an attribute differs with context, but low value in one particular context often means a lack of attributes valued in that context.

When we see ourselves lacking the valued attributes in the context of a desired miracle, we shouldn’t surrender to despair.  Instead, we should partner with the Lord and get to work.  We should look for invigoration in meeting the challenge and work with faith that, with the all-powerful Lord at our side, we can make any miracle happen.  Making gains in one area of our lives can strengthen us in other areas, giving us a further boost towards making our miracle happen.

At the end of the day, it’s all about value.  Looking through that lens can provide a clarity of vision regarding needed changes.  As we make those changes in partnership with the Lord, we can feel more confidence as we ease the miracles we seek into our lives and more gratitude when those miracles finally appear.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

Yes, I know how incredible that may sound to some, especially if your life hasn’t gone the way you expected.  You’ve probably also had some painful experiences involving either someone else deciding against you in a single instance or many others using their agency across multiple instances.  Maybe you’ve experienced both.  But even if you’ve had the whole world against you, I still say seek and expect miracles.

We typically think of miracles as events that defy the laws of nature.  For me, miracles are manifestations of one or more universal laws we don’t understand fully.

This shift in perspective is essential to why I say we should seek and expect miracles.  The perspectives we take and the assumptions we embrace are everything; they’re key components of our thinking, which produces our actions, which in turn produces our results.  In the end, we all want results, so when we don’t get desired results, we need to examine our thinking.

President Nelson begins his comments on miracles with this declaration:

First, he illustrates his concept with the words of a single adult!  And this wasn’t just any single.  No, Moroni had everything ripped from him.  He witnessed the destruction of his people in a horrible war, leaving him to wander alone for the safety of his own life.  Yet he still declared fervent belief in miracles.

All lives have painful disappointments, but most don’t compare to Moroni’s.  If in his circumstances he could find the strength to believe in miracles, could we not muster the courage to do the same?

President Nelson continued,

It’s not just Moroni but every book of scripture declaring belief in miracles — all the more reason to question our perspectives and assumptions leading us to disbelieve in miracles.  While we question, we should remember the Prophet’s caveat: Miracles can take time and may not unfold how we expect.  So often LDS singles seeking a miracle expect something so inconsistent with universal law they take the absence of their miracle as evidence against miracles.

That last phrase caught my attention.  How many LDS singles have approached their desire for a miracle “doubting nothing”?  Most of us have doubts, some so much so they’re consumed by them.  And yet “doubting nothing” is part of the price of faith we must pay for admission to the miracle show.

That means we’ve got work to do.  It’s no surprise then to see President Nelson’s next words:

How often have we advocated taking ownership of your life, or doing what’s in your power, or partnering with the Lord?  Results come from only one thing — action.  To score points, you must quit sitting on the sidelines and get on the field.  So often the miracle we want is perfection delivered to our doorstep.  In reality, we need to partner with the Lord, accept His guidance, and do the work that will create our miracle.

So many LDS singles wanting a miracle are faint.  They’re weary.  They’re beat down by the vicissitudes of life that point their gaze towards their weaknesses and imperfections, leaving them to wonder how their miracle could ever happen.

But none of that matters when you partner with the Lord, for He “giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”  With Him, we can do anything, even move the mountain seemingly standing before us.

So yes, even if you’ve had the whole world against you, I still say seek and expect miracles.  Believe they can happen for you.  Partner with the Lord and do the work you must do to have your miracle.  You can then live with confidence that in time your miracle will happen.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

To assist all in gaining and maintaining positive spiritual momentum, the Prophet makes five recommendations:

1.  Get on the covenant path and stay there.
   
2.  Discover the joy of daily repentance.
3.  Learn about God and how He works.
4.  Seek and expect miracles.
5.  End conflict in your personal life.

Although each of these five activities apply directly to LDS singles, today I’ll discuss just two.  The restored gospel has the solutions LDS singles seek, and when we apply the gospel deep within us, we can find the power of spiritual momentum.

Far be it from me to discount the covenant path.  It’s so essential the Prophet lists it first among his recommendations.  That said, I’d like to begin with his second point: Discover the joy of daily repentance.

When I was a young man, I thought of repentance as something for the big wrongs we do.  Few if any of us do anything big every day, so in this view, repentance becomes an occasional activity.  Yet President Nelson’s sees more broadly.  Not only should we embrace repentance daily, we can also find joy when we do.

Simply put, daily repentance is just daily improvement, making small changes every day that move us forward.  President Nelson taught,

If that’s true, then daily repentance is the key to daily progress.

These ideas apply directly to LDS singles who want more from their lives.  Far too many of us are waiting around for our happily ever after to be thrust upon us.  We need to use the gift of agency God has granted us and choose to do the little things day by day that will over time aggregate into the happily ever after we seek.

And since we’re talking here about singles, it shouldn’t surprise anyone I’ll focus on the Prophet’s fourth suggestion: Seek and expect miracles.  The battering many singles receive from ineffective approaches to dating leave many thinking the only way their happily ever after will come to them is by a miracle.

That thinking has led also to this conclusion: The miracle they need just won’t happen.  They don’t see any way anyone they like could like them.  They don’t see how anyone would accept them with all their imperfections and disadvantages.

But President Nelson sees very differently.  He declared,

In the end, it all comes down to what you really believe.  If you don’t believe, you won’t receive.  Faith must precede the miracle.  And as President Nelson taught, it must be the kind of faith that doubts nothing.

We’ll of course discuss these and more points from President Nelson’s address in the broadcast today.  In the end, we always get what we give.  Those who consistently give the small contributions to their success day in and day out will eventually get the success they seek.

In all of our efforts, we must remember patience.  It takes time to build momentum.  As we discussed earlier, just doing 1% more each day will result in a 38% improvement after one year.  The first three months of that year, you go from your baseline (where you are now) to 2X.  But in the last three months, you go from 15X to 38X.  Why the vast difference in improvement?  Because you have momentum by the time you reach the last three months, but when you just start out, you don’t.

And you can best hold to momentum when you partner with the Lord.  He can show you the 1% improvement you need to make every day.  He can support you in making it every day.  He can strengthen you with patience as you build your needed momentum.

So experience the power of spiritual momentum.  Make the small changes every day you need to make to lay your daily brick, and in time you’ll have a wonderful edifice housing your dreams and the best life that awaits you there.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

And with the world becoming more and more chaotic, life will become more challenging for everyone.  Singles will feel those challenges more poignantly.  It’s one thing to have a companion to share your burdens and support you.  It’s quite another when you don’t.  To all my single LDS friends, here’s all the more reason why you need to shore up your spiritual foundation by including the temple more in your life.

President Nelson began his remarks by sharing some progress made in strengthening the foundation of the Salt Lake Temple.  I love how he draws a ready metaphor for establishing a foundation for our own spiritual lives.  To that I would add the need for each of us to establish a solid foundation in every part of our lives: the emotional/social, the mental/intellectual, and the physical.

But clearly the spiritual foundation is the most important.  The spiritual aspect of life contains the beliefs, values, and ethics that drive behavior in every other life aspect.  We need to ensure the spiritual area of life is firmly founded.

President Nelson understood as much when, speaking of the Salt Lake Temple, he shared

President Nelson then shared the perfect place to build that solid spiritual foundation we all need — inside the temple.  In reality, it’s living inside temple covenants that lays the actual bricks of our spiritual foundation.  But all of that comes together in the temple.  President Nelson taught

All the blessings LDS singles look to receive are connected with the temple.  Indeed, many of these blessings are the same blessings Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob sought and obtained — blessings available to all who make and keep the sacred covenants available only in the House of the Lord.

Those blessings came to those early fathers not all at once but incrementally.  Likewise, the blessings LDS singles seek to obtain in their lives will not come all at once but “here a little, and there a little” (Isaiah 28:10).  President Nelson extended that idea to the great blessing of the Restoration:

If something as important to our Heavenly Father’s plan as the Restoration is still ongoing, His plan for each of us is surely ongoing as well.  That thought prompts patience in LDS singles who yearn to have desired blessings now.

Including the temple at the center of our spiritual foundation can provide the faith needed to choose not only patience but also perseverance.  Within the temple we learn of Christ and His Atonement, our Heavenly Father’s plan, and the connections He intends to forge across generations of the human family.

The temple also helps us navigate the road of life to as yet unrealized blessings.  As chaos in the world grows, we can have the peace that surpasses all understanding, a quiet confidence God will support us when we feel all is lost.  The temple and living inside the covenants made there can fill us with that faith.

That faith can help us resist fear.  President Nelson counseled,

How many LDS singles live in fear the blessings they desire will not come to them?  The temple and temple covenants provide the solid spiritual foundation from which we can each take needed action in the other aspects of our lives.  We can trust Christ and His power to change us so we can more easily receive the blessings we seek.

So include the temple more in your spiritual foundation.  The unprecedented times President Nelson foresees will call for unprecedented measures in the attention we give to our foundation and the renewal we provide daily to it.  In so doing, we can live with greater confidence and optimism as our fears become memories of a distant past.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

Sister Newbold acknowledges a common singles attitude: Identifying yourself by what you don’t have.  When you do that, you’ll live in a space where you’re deficient.  Sister Newbold’s response is an effective one: Live in a space where you see yourself as you’ll be, because that’s how God sees you.  By living “as though” God’s promises are fulfilled, you can be joyful now.

Sister Newbold recognizes the difficulty of reconciling as yet unfulfilled promises with the reality of LDS singles life.  Her answer is to live “as though” those promises have been fulfilled, though she admits that’s challenging.  She writes, “Given that God is a God of promises, it becomes hard at times for me to reconcile why certain promises have not yet been fulfilled in my life.”

I’m sure many singles can relate.  I myself felt that challenge a few months ago.  In the midst of my most challenging semester of school ever, questions about my patriarchal blessing began to feel more demanding.  And given my age, I began to wonder how my promised blessings will ever come to me.

Sure, it’s easy to say, “Well, sometimes patriarchal blessings get fulfilled in eternity.” But that doesn’t apply to the married life the Lord promised me.  Very clear and unambiguous language speaks of my temple marriage in this life and actions my children and posterity will take in this life.  These and other blessings are promised to me in this life, not the next.

Given I’m in my late 40s and not getting any younger, questions of how those promises would be fulfilled troubled me.  At the time, I really struggled with those questions.  Now I simply feel a quiet confidence somehow it’ll all happen.

Sister Newbold’s answer to that challenge, as mentioned earlier, is to live “as though” promised blessings have arrived.  How do we do that?  Sister Newbold shares three suggestions.

First, she suggests considering a variety of promises.  LDS singles tend to fixate on the marriage they by definition don’t have right now.  That focus blinds them from seeing other promised blessings they already have, many of which they take for granted.  Recognizing these less appreciated but bountiful blessings invites gratitude and trust God will keep all His promises.

Second, she suggests recognizing God’s hand in our lives.  Many in today’s world focus on what they lack, and as long-time audience members will tell you, your focus becomes your reality.  Focusing on lack creates a reality of scarcity, which inhibits the ability to feel joy.  But focusing on what you have creates a reality of abundance.  I really like how Sister Newbold extends that idea to the sacrament.

Third, Sister Newbold suggests helping the Lord keep His promises to others through Spirit-directed service.  When you follow the Spirit’s promptings to help others, you can help answer their prayers.  You can find joy in being the Lord’s hands.

Honestly, I appreciate a perspective centered on our focus rather than the traditional and highly unhelpful ”Just hold faithful, and everything will be right in the next life.”  Additionally, Sister Newbold readily admits that “trusting in His promises is not always an easy choice.”

She also says “living ‘as though’ will look different for everyone.”  I suspect that’s only true in the particulars.  I could summarize what that looks like for her as making and keeping as many covenants as she can, in essence living all of the gospel she can.  I think that would describe living “as though” for any LDS single.

God will keep every promise made to every one of us.  He has thousands of years of experience doing just that for the generations that came before us.  And the Spirit can remind us of moments when He’s kept promises in our own lives.  So we can trust He’ll keep every as yet unfulfilled promise.  When we live“as though” by walking with faith He’ll do just that, we can be instruments in fulfilling His purposes, all the while experiencing the quiet confidence that somehow it’ll all happen for us.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.