I freely admit my ignorance.  I’ve never been married or a parent, so I don’t fully understand the challenges of single parenting.  But I do understand singleness and recognize several principles Brother Romney shared that apply to all LDS singles, regardless of age or circumstance.

First, and perhaps most importantly, the restored gospel holds the solutions to life’s problems.  You’ll see many of those solutions only after adopting the perspectives the restored gospel encourages.  Far too many LDS singles think a solution will eliminate their problem so they can live more comfortably.  Often real solutions instead allow you to leverage your problems so you can grow and become more than you were before.

Brother Romney brought out that perspective beautifully.  The hope, joy, and strength which he found as a single father came from “small, simple things” like family prayer, expressions of encouragement, magnifying callings, and seeking direction from inspired leaders.  Our Heavenly Father has a plan of happiness for you.  That plan might not resemble the one you’d make, but His plan will best help you attain maximum happiness.

In his article, Brother Romney raised an excellent question: “I was a father trying to raise daughters on my own. . . . How could I help them prepare to become women?”  This variation on the more common theme of “How can I meet the challenge when I don’t seem fit for it?” has troubled many LDS singles.

Yet the answer again lies in perspective.  No matter your situation, you’re in this alone only if you want to be.  Brother Romney found many resources of support for his situation, including family members, neighbors, and ministering brothers and Church leaders.  We all have more resources than we think we do.  We just need to apply the Savior’s teaching: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7).

Brother Romney rightly mentions that “not everyone will experience this same level of support.”  Wards are people, and people are all at different points of progression along the eternal path.  Some just haven’t yet progressed that far.

Notwithstanding, the Lord won’t leave you comfortless.  He’s provided people around you, sometimes in and sometimes out of the Church, who’ll help in some way.  You just need ask, seek, and knock.  As Brother Romney acknowledges, “until we let others know the gaps we see . . . those individuals may not understand how they can help.”  The squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease.

Ultimately, the Lord won’t abandon you.  He loves you too much to do that.  Not only will He walk by your side, the Lord will provide a strength to persevere only He can provide.

The same Lord Who’s assembled a plan for your maximum happiness, restored His gospel offering needed perspective, and provided resources to support you is also intimately aware of you.  He knows what you need in the moment you need it.

He knows how overwhelming your specific combination of challenges and circumstances can feel.  He submitted Himself to all things “that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).  Through the enabling power of His Atonement, Christ can help you do what you otherwise could not.

No matter the challenge, whether it be raising daughters as a single dad, raising sons as a single mother, or simply finding joy in LDS singles life, you can partner with the Lord and leverage your challenges to grow and become something more than you were before.  When you do, you’ll grow so much you’ll transcend your challenges.  What once seemed overwhelming will be no more than an afterthought.  And all along the way, you’ll feel the strength of the Lord abiding with you. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Christ is of course the ultimate source of hope for anything good in this life or the next.  No matter your background or situation, there is always hope because there is always Christ.  That doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges, but it does mean every problem has some solution in Him.  With hope in Christ, you can joyfully rise above any challenge.

I especially like President Ballard’s reliance upon eternal principles of truth.  He doesn’t really talk about singles until halfway through his address.  He spends the first half laying out the foundational principles that support his remarks on singles.  That’s significant.

Equally significant is his repetition of what Elder Gong shared earlier.  The majority of LDS adults are single.  The public recognition of this demographic change precedes a new thrust by the Church to change LDS culture.  Leaders might not describe it that way, but the Church is certainly publicly reaching more after those who by definition don’t have the traditional marker of belonging in LDS culture, namely being married with kids.

And it’s more than just Conference talks.  Have you seen the Church website lately?  The website has been promoting an upcoming broadcast for singles over 30, the first ever Church-wide broadcast tailored entirely and specifically for this demographic.  There’s also an excellent article in the latest Liahona providing practical advice on helping singles feel more included at church.

This is the power of hope in Christ.  How long have I discussed in blog posts and this radio program the need to embrace a Christ-centered culture in which the mark of belonging is discipleship?  For the past seven years I’ve expressed my faith such a change would come, even amidst the challenges of feeling included in a culture that didn’t always welcome me.  And now I rejoice to see the Lord rewarding the faith I and many others have held all this time.

President Ballard extolled singles everywhere to have such faith.  Said he, “I speak of hope in Christ not as wishful thinking. Instead, I speak of hope as an expectation that will be realized. Such hope is essential to overcoming adversity, fostering spiritual resilience and strength, and coming to know that we are loved by our Eternal Father and that we are His children, who belong to His family.”

How does one achieve such hope?  It comes by faith in Christ who grants that hope to those who wait patiently upon Him.  Because faith is a principle of action, so is waiting upon the Lord.

President Ballard said as much.  He declared,

I love his declaration of increased hope through needed contribution, a concept we’ve long discussed here — the need for singles to have a personal ministry.  When you devote yourself to sharing your unique goodness and light with others, you focus on what you can do.  That focus in turn creates a reality of possibility and potential, which naturally leads to hope.

President Ballard shared other principles that engender hope — the truth no blessing will be denied those who keep covenants, the assurance blessings will be ours though we don’t know all the details, the inclusion of exaltation in God’s plan for all the willing, and faith the Lord will eventually right every wrong experienced in mortality.  Each of these principles encourage us to hold to the promise of better days ahead.

And that promise is true.  It’s not just wishful thinking.  Better days are ahead!  Whether those days come tomorrow, two years from tomorrow, or two centuries from tomorrow, better days will come.  Faith helps us to see those better days, and hope helps us hold true until those days arrive.

There is always hope because there is always Christ.  Let your hope in Christ kindle a fire of faith that promised blessings will be yours.  Let your hope in Christ inspire you to share the light of your goodness with others.  As you embrace your own personal ministry, you’ll see that light grow ever brighter and brighter.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

What does surprise me is that singles have been the majority for the past two years and only now are we hearing the Brethren talk about it openly.  Whatever the reason for its delay, the announcement is no less welcome.  It marks a noticeable and important turning point in the unfolding of the Restoration, declaring to the world that, no matter your background or circumstances, there is room in the inn for you.

It hasn't always been that way in practice.  You don't need to be a long-time listener of the program to know the traditional family-centered culture of the Church has challenged many singles to feel like they truly belonged.  But probably only long-time listeners know some of my experiences with that challenge.

Of all of the different wards I've attended, one of the most challenging was the midsingles ward I attended in Seattle.  That assertion may surprise some who think that I as a single adult should feel a greater sense of belonging in a ward filled with other singles.  But it was not so.  Far from it, I routinely felt isolated, ignored, and invisible.

Memories of those days played in my mind as Elder Gong spoke of a gospel culture of belonging, one in which everyone is important, even essential.  What he describes is the exact opposite of what I experienced.  To be fair, I've been a part of some really outstanding wards filled with people who really reached out to help me feel welcome and included.  And these wards entered my life at times when I need relief and rest from wrestling with the challenge presented in other wards, like the midsingles ward in Seattle.  The Lord's hand was definitely evident in those moves.

The Lord's hand was also evident in Elder Gong's remarks.  As he spoke of the Church as a place where "we are all equal, with no second-class groups," Elder Gong provided more impetus for the change that has been unfolding now for the past several years.

Long-time listeners to the program will know what I'm talking about here — a change in the culture away from a center on family and towards a center on Christ.  A family-centered culture means you need to have a family to belong, but a Christ-centered culture means you need to have Christ to belong.  Singles by definition don't have a complete family of their own, but everyone can have a covenant relationship with and devoted discipleship of the Lord.

Elder Gong recognizes as much when he declares,

Elder Gong identifies a change in the culture more explicitly when he taught,

Oh, the times, they are a-changin'!

Hearing Elder Gong describe the Christ-centered culture I've advocated on this platform for years set me on fire.  It also filled me with deep gratitude to God He hasn't forsaken His single sons and daughters but rather remembers every single one (pun intended).

We don't always know what the future will bring, but we can always know the goodness of God as He dispenses grace and tender mercies in hours of need.  "As we create room in His Inn," Elder Gong declares, "welcoming all, our Good Samaritan can heal us on our dusty mortal roads."  That is why only in helping others can we receive the help we each really need.

There will always be room in the inn where true disciples reach out in love to welcome all and keep all on the covenant path.  As we each contribute in our own way to that effort, we will embrace a truer, purer gospel culture in which all truly belong.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

That said, my experience still excites me because it gives me great hope the culture of the larger Latter-day Saint community will soon eliminate what has traditionally provided the greatest challenge in LDS singles life.  Just as we know rain will fall when we see storm clouds gather, we can see the cultural signs around us indicating a change is gonna come.

I’ve long spoken on this platform about the challenges LDS singles have traditionally faced.  For those who may be new to the audience, the bulk of those challenges stem from our family-centered culture.

Traditionally, LDS culture has centered on family.  That means the marker of belonging to that culture is being married with kids, because that’s what having a family has traditionally meant.  Because everyone has a deeply seated need to belong to a larger group, LDS singles have struggled to belong when the marker of belonging is something they by definition don’t have.

That’s why for years I’ve called for a change in the culture to one centered on Christ.  The marker of belonging in that culture would be discipleship.  Such a culture would both support the family while being inclusive of those who are different.  No matter your background or your situation, you can work to make and keep sacred covenants that everyone else in the LDS community makes.  You can be a disciple.  You can belong.

I kept affirming my message of cultural change despite the appearance of little if any move in that direction.  But that all changed in 2018.  That’s when I saw my first glimmer of hope.

That’s because that’s when the Brethren unveiled the ministering initiative.  My heart jumped for joy while I physically jumped on my couch at hearing the announcement.  I saw then a shift in perspective to see inquiring after the needs of others not as a duty, which is what home and visiting teaching had largely become, but as an opportunity to build the kingdom and grow in discipleship.

That’s exactly in line with the vision I’ve always proposed for the most successful singles groups.  They focus on bringing everyone together and making everyone feel they belong.  They know it doesn’t matter what people’s background or circumstances are, and they proclaim that knowledge in the way they act and treat others.

Seeing this shift announced in General Conference brought me a new hope that the change I had been talking about for years could be on the edge of unfolding into reality.

That’s why I was so excited when I saw what appeared at the time to be a change in the home page of the Church website.  The layout and content were all focused on Christ as the center.  And they combined together to create a unequivocal message of belonging no matter your background or circumstances.

I’ve always believed our Church leaders on the global level have been aware of the singles.  Many of the failings LDS singles have cited have root in local leaders who either haven’t understood how to minister effectively to singles or have been so busy with other priorities that ministering to singles simply didn’t happen.

But all of that will be history.  Change is gonna come!  We can look forward to the future with hope and optimism in a brighter and better day.  Our Lord truly knows us and our circumstances.  He’ll inspire His disciples to move in a more positive direction while at the same time exercising the compassion of patience in respecting their agency to implement those changes.

Let us also exercise the compassion of patience in respecting the agency of our leaders, both global and local, while also helping them to improve in their ministering efforts towards us and other LDS singles.  As we do, we’ll make the ground more fertile for the changes that will come.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.