Pancreatitis is inflammation of the pancreas, which the pancreas can heal on its own.  But to do so, it must be allowed to focus on that task.  Calling it away for its usual duty of producing digestive enzymes or insulin will distract it and thereby prolong healing.

That restriction has wrecked some havoc on my diet.  Initially I was on a liquid diet and then slowly graduated to more solid food.  So long as I stay within my restrictions and keep my meals small (this also helps the pancreas to focus on healing), I should be fine.  That said, I still feel swings in my abdomen.  Some moments feel better than others.

I have even worse swings from my pulmonary embolism.  The blood thinners I’m on have some funky side effects, one of which is lightheadedness.  It comes and goes, some moments being better than others.  Today was particularly bad.  The lightheadedness was extreme as I’d never before felt in my life, and it stayed with me the whole morning.  I spent much of the day today in the emergency room, where the doctor finally concluded I was experiencing a side effect of my meds.

How do I deal with a condition that not only constantly changes but changes so often I don’t really know how I’ll be the next day?  The only real option I have is to do the best I can to attend to the demands of the moment.  My condition forces it on me.

But that’s not very different from what I’ve been sharing here on Joy in the Journey Radio.  We find our best joy in life from living in the moment.  Letting go of what things will mean tomorrow opens a door that otherwise remains closed.

For example, LDS singles leave much joy on the table when dating by worrying about what different social interactions will mean for them tomorrow.  “I don’t want to sit next to those people because then they’ll think I’m interested, and I’m not.”  We think we know so much, yet in truth, we don’t know that much, and we see even less.  There’s countless tales of couples who didn’t think they were right for each other but who are very happy today because they let go of what they thought they needed and embraced the opportunity in the moment.

Of course, letting go of what things will mean tomorrow isn’t license for leaving the covenant path.  I’m in no way suggesting we ignore the consequences of sin.  What I’m saying is that within the confines of our covenants we too often focus outside of the present moment, and that focus leaves a lot of joy on the table we could have every day by living in the present moment.

By embracing the moments that come within the confines of our covenants, we position ourselves for maximum joy.  Redefining what we consider opportunity to be reveals more pathways to experience that joy.  The road can still be rough, as I can attest.  Some of the moments that confront me are less than pleasant.  But I know by doing my best with each moment, I know I’m making my journey as good as it can be.

Embrace your life one day at a time.  When you stop living in some future that never seems to come or the past that you cannot change, you find more possibilities in your life.  You’ll gain more perspective that breeds more hope for the future.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Clearly, the Savior understood that power.  His ministering example teaches all the love generated when we give our full attention to others.  Indeed, one of the greatest gifts we can give to others is the gift of full attention.

Society today hungers for attention, so much so everyone seems scrambling after it.  Whatever new trick can potentially secure the attention of others finds its way onto the to-do list of many seeking to capture attention for their own gain.  And these actors, feeling a scarcity of the attention they desire, saturate us with attention demand overload.

Combine that situation with the addictive nature of social media, and it’s not hard to understand why people give more attention to their phone than to people around them.  Many take full advantage of the dopamine hits social media networks are designed to generate.  And far too many of us surrender our agency to the addiction we hold in our hands and carry with us wherever we go.

We’ve discussed before on this program the mediocrity this life on autopilot creates.  We break free by living in the moment, making conscious choices to move in the direction we determine and not just where the impulse of addiction would drive us.  That’s what I love about the suggested action for today on the Light the World calendar.  It encourages us to make a conscious choice to break free from impulse and move in a direction we consciously choose.

That conscious choice unlocks the real power of giving our full attention in our interactions.  So doing sends a clear message: Out of all the choices I could make in this moment regarding where to place my attention, I choose you.  This is part of why the gift of full attention is a truly a gift of love.

The other part deals with the basic human needs we all have to feel loved, needed, and belonging to something greater than ourselves.  Putting down your phone and giving your full attention to others essentially tells them they are preferred, and realizing that preference generates in others the feeling of being loved, needed, and part of something bigger.

Now consider what happens when we don’t make that conscious choice to give full attention.  We tell others through our actions we choose something else over them, that something else is preferred.  And that preference generates in others feelings of not being loved, needed, or part of something bigger.

I still remember the love generated during a single adult conference 12 years ago when an attendee chose to give me full attention.  Our exchange lasted only five minutes, yet the influence of that seemingly small choice in how to spend five minutes has lasted 12 years, and the end is not in sight.  The gift of full attention is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

And we need not limit the power of that gift to just the one small act the Light the World calendar suggests for today.  We can expand our influence even further by practicing active listening in all settings.

Our society suffers substantially from a lack of listening.  People think listening means simply hearing the words other people say.  Meanwhile, they look for chances to inject what they want to say into a conversation.  But real, active listening involves hearing what others say with the intent to understand them.  Instead of looking for breaks to project our own selves onto others, we can use those same opportunities to try to understand others.  In so doing, we help others feel loved and thereby expand the power the gift of full attention can provide.

So today and every day, let’s give more of the gift that keeps on giving.  Let’s give the gift of full attention.  When we do, our seeming small act of surrender to love will invite others to do the same.  And when they do, the cycle will continue, resulting in a better world filled with the light and goodness of love.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

I remember years ago hearing a speaker at a singles conference talk about living in the moment.  She encouraged intentional living, saying living with intention can lead you to own your life.  I’m a big fan of owning your life, so I was with her that far.

Then the speaker defined intentional to mean having a plan.  The joy of living in the moment, she declared, comes from following a plan.  And that’s where she lost me, because I couldn’t disagree more.

To act with intention requires a conscious choice.  Living with intention therefore means living in the moment.  When you consciously choose in the moment what you do, you refuse to let your habits simply play themselves out.  That act allows you to embrace life and all the true joy of living.

You don’t need a plan for any of that to unfold for you.  All you need is to use the one gift from God we all have — agency.  You simply make a conscious choice.

Happiness comes not from just doing the right things but from giving your all to all the right things for you.  Giving your all is a conscious choice.  When you choose that path with full awareness and intention, the true joy of being alive can be yours.

Most don’t live like that.  They live on autopilot, a life filled with comfort and a sense of stability.  But true joy isn’t found in comfort and stability alone.  True joy comes from consciously embracing the right things.

I use that word embracing intentionally.  You can’t just execute a routine of righteous activity and expect happiness to find you.  The happy life doesn’t just come to you because it’s somehow your right or because you’re somehow deserving of it just because of who you are.  To get the happy life, you have to make it.  That requires consciously choosing the right things.  That means getting out of autopilot and its routine living.  And that means embracing all the right things for you.

In the end, your focus always determines your reality.  Focusing on what you don’t have and can’t do always brings a reality of scarcity and helplessness.  And a life that feels lacking and helpless is never enjoyable.

But the same principle works in the other direction.  Focusing on what you do have and can do brings a reality of abundance and empowerment.  As you begin to see how richly the Lord has blessed you, you feel gratitude come to you.  And life starts feeling joyful.

That focus on what you have now and can do now is key to living in the moment and making the happy life you want.  Focusing on the present and not the future is a conscious choice that helps you live with intention.  And the gift of agency from a loving Heavenly Father brings that choice within reach of us all.

The happy life doesn’t find you.  You find it by making it.  And that starts when you start living with intention.  Righteous intentional choices lift what you do to a new level because in so doing you give your all to the right things.  And when you give your all to the right things, life in return gives back to you all the joy and satisfaction of a life well lived.

You’ll always get what you give, so give your all to the right things for you and get the life that’s right in all ways for you.  You can breathe with confidence, walk with boldness, and bring your focus away from the future and more to the present moment.  You’ll then open yourself to a life you can savor regardless of your circumstances.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

This logic keeps many LDS singles single longer — in some cases, much, much longer.  Here’s a more effective approach: Live where you are in your dating journey.  Don't reject a date based on your standards for marriage.  Reject a date based on your standards for dating.

To live where you are, you must first know where you are.  Having a good map can be helpful for that.  As we’ve discussed before, the dating journey map shows these stages:

1. Friendship — In this stage, the commitment level is low.  People come and go as they please.
   
2. Casual Dating — There are two kinds of dating, and the first is casual dating.  The commitment level here is higher because you’ve agreed to go on a date but still low overall.  Once the date ends, so does any commitment of the partners to each other.  Everyone can date whoever they wish.
   
3. Exclusive Dating — When you date only one person who in turn dates only you, you’ve accepted a greater commitment level.  Hence the name of this stage where you explore being with one person exclusively.
   
4. Engagement — In this stage, you’ve decided to raise the commitment up yet another notch.  Here you prepare to formalize the highest level of commitment.
   
5. Marriage — Once you’re married, your dating journey as a single adult ends and your dating journey as a married couple begins.
   

No map will tell you where to go.  But once you decide your destination, a good map will tell you how to get there.  Understanding the different stages of the dating journey helps you know where you are on the map.  From there, the dating journey map tells you how to get where you want to go.

You don’t climb a mountain by constantly staring at the peak.  You climb a mountain by looking where your feet you are and taking a step forward.  Your focus, then, should be on the next step in front of you, not the end goal.

Once you know where you are in your dating journey, your next step is to secure the agreement for the next stage.  Without the necessary agreement, you don’t progress.  Period.  You don’t need to look beyond the agreement you need for the next stage.  That’s like staring constantly at the summit without looking where you put your feet.  Good luck climbing the mountain that way.

Many LDS singles have disagreeable dating experiences because they keep looking at that summit of marriage instead of the earlier dating stage where their feet are.  It’s no wonder they keep tripping over themselves and getting hurt.  If that’s your experience, here’s some free advice: Start living where you are.

If you focus on where your feet are and take the next step directly before you, and then the next one, and so on, eventually you’ll climb the mountain.  So focus on where your feet are: Apply standards of dating to dates.

This of course means you might date someone you wouldn’t marry.  So what?  That’s perfectly normal; everyone dates people they never marry.  Only by dating lots of people will you better know that right type of person who demands more serious consideration.

Because you’ll date people you’ll never marry, your standards will change with each stage of the dating journey.  You’ll casually date people you won’t exclusively date.  And you’ll exclusively  date people you won’t marry.

Recognizing these truths makes it easier to live where you are.  You can better enjoy someone’s company irrespective of whether or not you’ll marry that same person when you focus on that moment rather than on some agenda to achieve a future goal.

Applying standards of dating to dating helps you to live in the place where you are.  This in turn helps you to live more fully in the moment and makes you more attractive to someone who can help you be where you want to be.  And that will bring more joy in your journey.

But an OK life never rises above mediocrity and won't ever be great or phenomenal.  Most settle for mediocrity, but you don't have to accept an OK life.  You can be phenomenal.  You can live your best life.

To realize the reality you want to have outside of you, you must do the work to change what's  inside of you.  So stop waiting and start working.  Your best life awaits you.

Most people have a limited life because they have limited thinking based on limiting assumptions.  And because of how we're all biologically hardwired to operate, those assumptions lead to habits producing the same results most mediocre lives have.

Do you believe you're the victim of choices others make?  Do you believe you just aren't good enough to live your dreams?  Do you believe your best days are behind you?  Do you believe your happiness depends on what happens outside yourself?  If so, you're likely not in control of life.  Rather, life is in control of you.

But just as you can choose thinking that limits you, you can choose thinking that empowers you.  You really can turn your life around because you are a child of the Creator of the universe endowed with His unlimited potential and the wondrous gift of agency.  You can and do choose for yourself.

So you can choose to accept responsibility for the choices you've made that have brought you the life you have now.  When you do, you begin to own your life.  And that's when everything can begin to change for you.  You can further that change by deciding what you want, knowing clearly why you want it, and then committing yourself to excellence in literally everything you do.

You need that foundation to effect the changes you want to see outside yourself.  Too many people (who usually live limited mediocre lives) think their lives will improve when their external circumstances do.  They work directly on external changes, but that's all backwards.  To change your life on the outside, you must first change your life on the inside.

That means you must get good with you.  You must dig deep enough inside of you to uncover the true root of your problem, the seeds of mediocre thinking sprouting into the mediocre habits producing your mediocre life.  You must learn how you were biologically designed to function so you can leverage it instead of continually fighting against it.

We all broadcast an energy to others, and what you have inside determines the quality of that energy.  To broadcast an attractive energy, what's inside of you must be attractive.  Stop trying to escape singles life and start embracing it and making the most of it.  Love yourself but also commit to doing whatever it takes to better yourself.  Achieving that balance is the essence of obtaining your best life.

Pursuing that balance won't be easy, because challenges will always threaten your desired transformation.  That's why you must continually refresh your thinking and your determination to keep after it.

Believe your best is yet to come, that the blessings you want are real and yours.  Let go of trying to manage every detail and just enjoy the ride.  Live in the moment, live with intention, and live in possibility while you work for probability.  It's balancing the fantastic with the practical.

And the best way I've found to do that is practicing a ridiculous, sickening work ethic.  The grind is amply named, and you need to do it every day.  Use your agency to choose to keep after it.  Never quit.  Never surrender.  Never stop until you win.

Most people live mediocre lives centered on satisfaction of self because that's what they choose.  Those who live phenomenal lives centered on contribution to others have their best life because that's what they choose.  Your best life awaits you.  When you choose to take control of your life, get good with you, and keep after it, you too can live the phenomenal life that is your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

They’ll also need an experience to move them in that direction.  Think Ebenezer Scrooge here.  He was all business and no fun.  But it wasn’t just Christmas Day that turned him around, because he constantly turned his heart away from the joy that day could bring with his oft repeated “Humbug!”  It was the experiences with the spirit of his former business partner followed by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future that turned him around.

And one of the first things he did after resolving to keep Christmas always in his heart was to laugh.

There’s a lesson there for all of us.  Laughter isn’t just an option in life but essential to true enjoyment in life.  You need to laugh to live — really live and relish life.  You need to laugh because your life really does depend on it.

That may seem extreme to some, almost as extreme as being all business and no fun.  Yet some thought upon the subject will lead to the inescapable conclusion your life really does depend on laughter.

After all, what is your life?  If you define life in terms of a mediocre existence, then you might make the case that your life doesn’t depend on laughter.

But is that the life you really want?  Do you really want to live on autopilot, just going through the same motions over and over, day after day?  Don’t you want a life you can savor and truly relish?

Of course you do.  You keep feeling the tug of that dream because you’re biologically hardwired to live it.  We are built to be social creatures, and laughter connects us with other people.  It’s also a natural stress reliever.  Certainly your best life will enable you to manage the stress everyone encounters in life.

Of course, anything taken to excess is usually detrimental.  Laughter is no exception.  Taken too far, we can forget ourselves.  I’ve seen social environments get so jovial people say and do things they otherwise wouldn’t.

Moderation is the key.  Taken in moderation, laughter can spread joy, hope, and positive energy.  It says we don’t have to choose between business and fun; we can have both.  We can attend to our responsibilities, make serious progress towards our dreams and goals, and enjoy ourselves along the way.

Part of that result comes from incorporating that enjoyment into what we do.  Appropriately placed, laughter can both promote and manifest that enjoyment.  But I believe another part lies in setting aside time with the purpose of experiencing laughter in our lives.

That’s what’s really great about Belly Laugh Day.  It’s a day devoted to laughter.  And it’s perfectly placed in the middle of winter when skies overhead in many areas are typically gray and gloomy.  That is, in fact, what inspired the creation of the holiday to begin with.

Whether or not you know about it, and regardless of how you choose to celebrate (or not celebrate) it, Belly Laugh Day provides an excursion into laughter.  You may be an Ebenezer Scrooge who is all business and no fun, or you maybe you’re stressed under so many demands at present you feel more like crying than laughing.  Either way, celebrating Belly Laugh Day can teach and remind us we need to laugh to live.  Your life really does depend on it.

How will you incorporate more laughter into your life?  Will you read a funny book?  Or watch a funny movie?  Maybe you’ll join the audience for a stand-up comic.  However you take your elixir, a little laughter can lighten your load.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

It’s natural to think life would be better if only we had something we don’t now have.  We think, I'll be happy when ______ .  You can fill in the blank.

And many do.  Some think they’ll be happy when they get a new job or a new house.  Some marrieds fill that blank with a new baby.  Many singles fill that blank with getting married.

These thoughts are natural, and that’s why they ultimately don’t lead to happiness.  Happiness never comes from following the inclinations of the natural man or woman.  Those inclinations turn your focus inward on yourself.

But true happiness requires you to turn your focus outward on others and contributing to make their lives better.  The more of yourself you give in that endeavor, the happier you become.  And because you can always contribute to others in some way, you don’t have to wait for happiness.

Often we place too many conditions on our happiness.  By thinking we can’t be happy unless we possess something — be it some material object, social status, or notable achievement — we equate happiness with possessing that something.

And that’s the first part of the trap.  As long as you don’t possess whatever that something is, you’ll be unhappy.  And because true happiness comes from what you give rather than possess, fulfillment will always elude you.

The second part of the trap comes by thinking you must possess your something because your life plan says it’s “right.”  After all, how can you be happy when your life isn’t what you want it to be?

Many singles get caught in this second part of the trap.  Thinking you need to have that special someone to be happy is self-defeating.  If you’re not happy now, you’re not likely to attract that special someone.  People generally don’t want to spend ten minutes let alone their entire life with negative emotions like unhappiness.

Not getting what you think you need to be happy then just feeds the cycle to continue.  And releasing your wanting will be hard so long as your life plan tells you it’s “right” to keep wanting it, further reinforcing the cycle.

But you don’t have to be trapped.  You can free yourself by changing your thinking.  Quit waiting for some condition to be met.  Start understanding the true source of happiness, and start making more effective choices.

Happiness comes from giving your all to the right things.  Long-time audience members know the right things are more than just keeping the standards.  Of course those standards are right for everyone.  But the right things also include your unique contribution to improve the lives of others.

And you can’t just do your right things and expect to be happy.  It's what you bring to what you do while doing the right things that produces happiness.  It’s how much of yourself you give willingly to doing your right things.

If just doing the right thing would make you happy, everyone at church would be just peachy.  After all, church attendance is a right thing.  But you can’t just go through the motions to become happy.  You must give your all to the right things.  That’s why those who contribute while attending church are always happy.  They’re giving their all to their right things.

Likewise, simply acting out your part during the marriage ceremony won’t make you happy, however "right" that marriage may be.  What will make you happy is bringing your all to that union.  Happiness comes from giving your all to the things that are right for you.

Here’s the best part about this definition of happiness.  You don’t need to wait to be happy.  In His tender mercies, the Lord has placed within your reach the things that are right for you now.  You can choose to change your thinking so that you can see your right things all around you.  And you can choose to give your all in embracing those right things.

When it comes to being happy, you don’t need to wait.  You don’t need a change in your situation.  You need a change in your thinking and then you just need to choose to be happy.

Don’t sacrifice the joy of today by focusing on a future that always seems elusive.  Focus instead on the contribution you can make today.  You can be happy now if you align your thinking and your actions with the true source of happiness.  When you give your all to contribute to others in the way that’s right for you, you’ll feel that happiness come into your own life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Last week we looked at the importance of being where we are in our dating journey.  That means applying dating standards to potential dating partners, not marriage standards.  Thinking about marriage when considering a casual date is like putting the cart before the horse.  No wonder LDS dating is so difficult and confusing for so many!

Applying marriage standards to dating isn’t the only way LDS singles trip over their own feet when dating.  Too many test their dates during the date.  This practice prevents living in the moment.  And you can’t fully enjoy the moment if you don’t live there.

I know what many of you are thinking.  How can we know whether or not to go farther with our dating partner if we don’t test?  I’m not saying don’t test.  I’m saying there’s a time and place for everything, and the date is not the time or place for testing.  We test best after the date, not during.

We all broadcast our inner self to those around us.  If you test your date during the date, you have an agenda, and you’ll be broadcasting that.  Most people will pick up your broadcast, usually to negative effect.

That shouldn’t be surprising.  Most people want to be loved for who they really are and not part of some agenda or project.  When you test your date during the date, you broadcast you don’t really care about your date as a person but rather as a means to an end.

One of two things typically happens.  First, not wanting to be filler material, your date could withdraw from you.  If your date could’ve made an excellent companion for you, then you just shot yourself in the foot.  You just extended your singles life.  Congratulations!

And the other possible outcome?  Your test makes your date far more nervous and anxious.  He or she knows, in order to go any further with you, he or she must pass your test.  But not knowing exactly what the right response is or even what the test itself is, your date will likely bumble his or her way through the date, leaving you with a false impression of who they are.

And that could very well lead you to make the wrong call.

I once knew a woman who was in many respects a perfect companion for me.  So of course I was interested in knowing her better.  After a few texts and emails, we went out a few times.

Yet in all our interactions, I couldn’t escape the feeling she was testing me.  That feeling was especially strong during our dates.  I kept trying to put on a good performance without knowing what she wanted to see or hear.  All the while, I never really enjoyed our time together because I never could.  I was always worried I would say or do the wrong thing, and it would be one too many wrong things, leading her to say “Thanks, but no thanks.”

In the end that’s exactly what happened.  She simply walked away.

The last I saw of her was at a singles activity.  She came with some guy I’d never before seen.  And after months of non-response, she suddenly started talking with me as though we were best friends.  Even here she was still testing me.  After hearing an clearly unwanted answer to a question about my employment (at the time I was between jobs), she walked away.  I never saw or heard from her again.

Some might say this experience proves we weren’t meant to be together.  My own experience tells me we would have been good companions for each other.  I don’t know what happened to her, but I hope she got what she wanted.

I can understand her perspective.  Her divorce was particularly painful, and she wanted assurance she wouldn’t experience that pain again.  That’s completely understandable.

Yet love is such that you must risk in order to get reward.  You can’t get the relationship you really want without making yourself vulnerable.  I wish she could have let go during our dates and just enjoyed my company.  Even if things still didn’t work out, we might have been friends.

Don’t test your dates during the date.  Just be yourself and enjoy what the other person has to offer.  You can evaluate your date after the date.  Then is the time when you can thoughtfully consider whether going further with this person is a good idea or not.

When you’re interacting with others, be present in that moment.  Doing so will allow to experience all the joy that moment has to offer.  And that will bring more joy in your journey.

Last week we discussed the need for LDS singles to expand their casual dating pools to include everyone — well, almost everyone; jerks, stalkers, and criminals need not apply.  Many LDS singles resist expanding their casual dating pools because they inappropriately pre-judge potential dating partners by filtering for marriage material.

Superficially, that seems to make sense.  Dating leads to marriage, and we don’t want to end up with someone we don’t really want.  Plus spending all that time and money with someone who won’t be with you in the end seems wasteful.  Isn’t it better not to start if you won’t finish?

This logic prevalent among LDS singles keeps many of them single longer than needful — in some cases, much, much longer.  Here’s a more effective approach: Apply standards to where you are in your dating journey.  Don't reject a date based on your standards for marriage.  Reject a date based on your standards for dating.

Effectively applying standards to dating requires you to understand where you are on the map of your dating journey.  With that in mind, let’s review what we’ve learned recently about the stages of the dating journey.

• Friendship — In this stage, the commitment level is low.  People come and go as they please.
  
• Casual Dating — There are two kinds of dating, and the first is casual dating.  The commitment level here is higher because you’ve agreed to go on a date.  But once the date ends, so does any commitment of the partners to each other.  Everyone can date whoever they wish.
  
• Committed Dating — When you date only one person who in turn dates only you, you’ve accepted a greater commitment level.  You’ve committed yourself to dating only one person; hence the name of this stage where you explore raising the commitment up a notch.
  
• Engagement — In this stage, you’ve decided to do just that — raise the commitment up a notch.  Here you prepare to formalize the highest level of commitment.
  
• Marriage — Once you’re married, your dating journey as a single adult ends.  Of course, your dating journey as a married couple has just begun.
  

You don’t need a map to know where you’re going.  But a map becomes very useful to tell you how to get there.

Understanding the different stages of the dating journey helps you know where are on the map.  That begs the obvious question: How do I get where I want to go?

You don’t climb a mountain by constantly staring at the peak.  You climb a mountain by looking where your feet you are and taking a step forward.  Your focus, then, should be on the next step in front of you, not the end goal.

Once you know where you are in your dating journey, your next step will be to secure the agreement for the next stage.  If you don’t have the necessary agreement, you don’t progress.  Period.  That’s why this is your next step.

That’s harder to do when you’re staring constantly at the summit and never on where your feet actually are.  How long will it be before you trip and land on your face?

Many LDS singles find dating disagreeable because that’s exactly what they experience.  They keep tripping and landing on their face.  If that’s your experience, here’s some free advice: Stop looking at the summit!  Be where you are.

If you focus on where your feet are and take the next step directly before you, and then the next one, and so on, eventually you’ll climb the mountain.  So focus on where your feet are: Apply standards of dating to dates.

This of course means you might date someone you wouldn’t marry.  So what?  That’s perfectly normal; everyone dates people they never marry.  Only by dating lots of people will you better know that right type of person who demands more serious consideration.

Because you’ll date people you’ll never marry, your standards will change with each stage of the dating journey.  You’ll casually date people you won’t commitedly date.  And you’ll committedly date people you won’t marry.

Recognizing these truths makes it easier to be where you are.  You can better enjoy someone’s company irrespective of whether or not you’ll marry that same person when you focus on that moment rather than on some agenda to achieve a future goal.

Applying standards of dating to dating helps you to be in the place where you are.  This in turn helps you to live more fully in the moment and makes you more attractive to someone who can help you be where you want to be.  And that will bring more joy in your journey.

Last week I described the best vacation I’ve ever had.  It imbued me with a new attitude and zest for life.  I feel I have endless opportunity to bring my life to the next level.

Some of those opportunities I found by identifying knowledge I lack.  For example, to improve my relationships with family members, I can acquire better communication skills.  I decided to look for a book or other resource that can help me learn those skills.

We often think about school when thinking about learning. But sometimes the learning we need is in the local library.  We can often create our own “courses” to acquire the knowledge and skills we need with the resources which many libraries provide to their patrons for free.

Regardless of the venue, we all need to be learning something in order to take any aspect of life to the next level.  There’s even value in learning something simply for the sake of learning.  Simply put, if you’re not always learning, then you’re missing out on opportunities to get more out of your life.

We Latter-day Saints inherently believe in continuous learning.  It’s encoded in our religion.  After all, “the glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth” (D&C 93:36).

In a great treatise on truth, the Lord describes acquiring light so that it grows “brighter and brighter until the perfect day” (D&C 50:24).  He later extolled, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118).  We also have His admonition to “study and learn, and become acquainted with all good books, and with languages, tongues, and people” (D&C 90:15).

We don’t have to learn everything at once, “for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength,” but we must be diligent in applying ourselves, “that thereby [we] might win the prize” (Mosiah 4:27).  As the Prophet Joseph learned while translating the Book of Mormon, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end” (D&C 10:4).

And we have the assurance our diligence will be rewarded, “for every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened” (3 Nephi 14:8).  Embracing learning in every stage of life can open new pathways to live our religion more fully and deepen the measure of our faith.

Every stage of life also provides endless learning opportunities.  We can acquire new knowledge for our current stage in life or transition into the next.  We can also learn for its own sake.

I’ve known several single sisters who saw the need to return to school.  Providing for their family required earning more income, which they weren’t getting outside of a career path which a college degree would open for them.

It certainly wasn’t easy.  Just working and raising their children is challenge enough.  Adding school into that mix was no picnic, but they squared their shoulders and did what was necessary to conquer the challenge before them.

Other LDS singles need simply to learn more about their current career path.  Rather than change careers, they need to learn skills that can make them more valuable in the marketplace.  If that describes you, seek advice from successful professionals in your field.  If you do what they do long enough, their success can be yours.

The world is filled with so much to learn about.  It’s hard for people on the learning train to get bored.  But if they ever do, they can always sit in another car and keep enjoying the ride.

What do you need to learn to take your life to next level?  What do you need to learn to improve your relationships or your employment?  What do you need to learn to grow and embrace the blessings your Heavenly Father has prepared for you?

And let’s not forget learning just for the sake of learning.  Learning for its own sake is great for enhancing curiosity.  And it’s curiosity that opens the doors to greater joy in living.

Whatever you need to learn, when you partner with the Lord, you can counsel with Him on how you should proceed.  In my life, I’ve often found that the resources I need to learn what I need to learn cross my path if I share my concerns with Him and then proceed about my way with an open mind.  Embracing those opportunities has greatly enriched my life.

In short, learning simply enhances the value of living.  And that brings us more joy in our journey.