I believe there is. Our enemies aren’t just people determined to act against our beliefs. “For,” wrote the Apostle Paul, “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). We wrestle against the natural man and woman, our imperfections, and ourselves. And yet the Lord’s command remains the same: Love your enemies. Though it may seem completely backwards, this path brings the greatest joys LDS singles can experience in their single years. And they can be yours when you love all your enemies. Love your natural self  You’re thinking that’s totally crazy. How can we possibly love the natural man and woman when King Benjamin famously declared, “For the natural man [and woman] is an enemy to God” (Mosiah 3:19)? And how could that possibly bring more joy to LDS singles? The natural man and woman are indeed enemies to God, so I’m in no way proposing you love that aspect. I’m proposing you love your natural self, the person you really are inside. You’re not just the product of evolutionary biology, although we all coexist with that aspect. You’re a beloved child of God with quirks — features of your personality and disposition that you’ve always had. They’re part of what makes you . . . well, you. But we often want to hide our quirks to fit in. We view them as an enemy. The greatest joy in life comes from embracing all the right things for you. Of course, keeping the commandments and your covenants will always be among those right things. But there’s more that’s right for each of us. And your quirks — the unique expressions of who you naturally always have been, even before mortality — definitely qualify. So love your quirks and that part of your natural eternal self. Love your imperfections And while you’re at it, don’t forget to embrace your imperfections. That’s not what you’d normally hear from a booming self-improvement industry fueled by the assumption that tolerating imperfections equals acceptance of a miserable life, or at best a mediocre one. Yet I’d never be a better man without my imperfections. It’s the struggle to overcome challenge that facilitates growth. My imperfections provide me with that challenge. My imperfections help me become my best self, and thus, they help me live my best life. Your imperfections can likewise help you. I’m not suggesting you stop trying to eliminate your imperfections. By all means put them on the next bus, train, boat, or plane out of town. What I’m suggesting is your imperfections provide opportunity for the struggle that makes you your best you. And being your best self lets you live your best life. Love yourself  But having your best life means loving yourself. Too often we don’t live the life we most want because we’re in our own way. The best way to get out of your own way and stay out of it is to love yourself. Many singles yearn for the companion who’d make them not so single anymore. But they don’t love themselves — and by love I mean care for themselves the way God cares for them. We all broadcast our inner selves to others, who intuitively pick up those broadcasts. Others will sense if you don’t love yourself and want little if anything to do with you if you don’t, because they want to be loved, not used and certainly not despised. In encouraging you to love yourself, I’m not suggesting you prioritize selfish desires. I’m suggesting you get good with you, that you sincerely love the deepest part of who you are, because that will then broadcast to others. And that can lead to joy you can’t have while you’re single. So, yes, love all your enemies. Love your quirks that communicate your natural eternal self. Love your imperfections that provide opportunity for growth. And love yourself in the deepest part of who you really are. When you do, you’ll enjoy your single years more because you’ll embrace all the good they have to offer you. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
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Of course, the answer is of course. Life has meaning when we fill it with what’s meaningful. These are the best things in life — the people we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way. And it’s because of Christ we can have these joys now and always. Recognizing the true reason for the season helps us enjoy the best things in life all year round. The people we love  When we celebrate Christ’s birth, we really celebrate our Heavenly Father’s plan. The birth of Christ into this world demonstrates God’s love as He fulfilled His purposes. He provided the Savior Who made it possible for all of us to return to our eternal home. Christ also made possible eternal families, both the family we have known and the family we have yet to know. Not only can we spend eternity with God in His home, but all our loved ones can too, never more to be parted. These promises become all the more precious to me when I think of my sweet mother. After a lifetime of numerous medical challenges, dementia now drives her decline towards her mortal end. With my father approaching the point at which he can no longer care for her, my mother could move next week into a special care facility. I remain thankful to God that she was my mother, that I have many sweet memories of her, and that He sent His Son to make it all possible. The places we’ve been  The Lord’s hand has also attended me in my travels. He protected me both before and during my mission. He guided me after I returned home. And His hand has sustained me traveling across the country. I remember the first cross-country trek I made alone by car. When my car broke down in the middle of the Wyoming desert, to whom could I turn? I had only God to rely upon. And He helped me. Two years ago, I made a similar trek going back the other way. Long time audience members will remember the story I shared. When my car again experienced trouble, it felt as though angels were lifting the car on all sides and propelling it forward. The Lord’s hand was upon me. The Lord also blessed me in less desperate moments. I recall one Christmas in which I lived near my folks. I left for home a little after sunrise with a back seat full of Christmas presents. I drove a little slower because of the snow and potential ice. No one else was about at that hour, and I recall thinking as I drove amidst the peaceful wintery scene how blessed I was to have that moment and make the memories I was about to make. The memories we’ve made  I’ve made plenty of other memories through the years. Most of them have been good ones. And I thank the Lord He’s blessed me with them. I remember several years ago planning a special Christmas breakfast for my mother. She loves blueberries, and so I made a blueberry french toast casserole. She’d never made anything like that before, and frankly neither had I. But it hit the spot with her so much that a second helping wasn’t enough. She went to the kitchen and began eating what was left in the pan. It didn’t bother me; I was just happy helping her to be happy. Today I thank the Lord for that and many other precious memories. We should all thank the Lord for the people we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made. These are the best things in life, and the Lord Jesus Christ makes all of it possible. This year, as you celebrate the birth of the Master, may you thank Him for the people you love, the places you’ve been, and the memories you’ve made. You’ll feel more of His love and peace that characterizes the Christmas season. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
But in reflecting upon my situation, I’ve come to realize my faulty assumption. I’ve been assuming I can find peace only outside myself. I want to get away from the fighting that fills our communities. I want to escape the turbulence of these troubled times. I want to resolve the circumstances outside myself that I’ve erroneously connected with how I feel inside myself. But peace doesn’t come from outside ourselves. Peace comes from within. As a popular song teaches, let there be peace, and let it begin with me. When we take proper action, we can have peace within even though the world around us has anything but. Align yourself  Your focus determines your reality. So when you change your focus, you change your realty. When you change the way you think, you change your life. All of us can create a reality of peace in our lives when we focus on what brings peace. And the ultimate source of peace is the Prince of Peace. He suffered our pains and troubles so that He would know how to be compassionate in our hour of need. He died so that we could live. That life Christ gives isn’t just eternal life in the realm beyond the veil. He gives life here and now in mortality. He can lighten our load and light the way before us. He can lift us when we are low. He can give hope amidst despair. But in order to make His lift, His light, and His love our reality, we must focus upon Him. The Christmas spirit of peace lives in us when we increase our discipleship to the Prince of Peace. It’s when we ignore His teachings or turn our focus away from the weightier matters of covenant living that we bring ourselves the opposite of peace. Aligning our will with His brings a harmony with truth that makes our hearts a natural home for peace. Give yourself And only when we have peace within ourselves can we effectively promote peace outside ourselves. Only a continued walk after the Prince of Peace can inspire others to follow His enlightened example and find peace within themselves. But deep, lasting peace never comes from just going through the motions. Just as true happiness comes from giving yourself to all the right things for you, deep, lasting peace comes only when you align yourself with all the right things for you. Of course you should strive to keep the commandments and your covenants. Those things are right for everyone. But beyond the standards reside what’s right for each of us individually — goodness related to your personal ministry and the contribution only you can make in the lives of others. When you give yourself to those right things that only you can do, you promote peace. You become a city shining on a hill giving goodness, light, and love to an increasingly darkened world desperately in need. And that peace you bring to others can bring greater peace to you as well. Promote peace  You can’t really share with others what you yourself don’t have. It all starts where the song says it starts. Let there be peace. And let it begin with me. Peace comes from within, so let each of us align ourselves with God. Let each of us be true to our covenants. Let each of us give what only we can give. Let each of us focus on Christ and feel the peace that comes from following after the Prince of Peace. Then let us all go forward and share that peace with others. Let us light their lives. Let us give them hope. Let us lighten their load. Let there be peace. And let it begin with me and you. We will find a peace we have never before known when we cultivate peace within our own hearts like we have never before done. And doing that will bring us more joy in our journey.
How it started  My friend and I served in the same mission — in the same district, in fact. She and her companion were from Honduras. As my companion was also from Honduras, I got dragged into a small circle of Honduran expats serving the Lord across the border. We all got along famously, but this particular sister and I really hit it off. We never broke any mission rules; we were completely appropriate in our interactions. And yet we each felt there was something special about each other. I was in my last area when we met, and so before long the time came for me to go home. I had a wool blanket that had served me well but would not fit into any of my luggage. I had no choice but to leave it behind. I could have just left it for some future elder, but I chose instead to gift it to this sister. I remembered her remarking at our last district meeting how cold she was at night, and I felt prompted to gift her the blanket. She received my surprise gift with great joy. And now all these years later, I’ve received her surprise gift with great joy this Christmas season as we have reconnected. How it stopped  We kept in contact after I returned home. These were days when cellular phones were the size of bricks and email, though not new, was still in its infancy. And so our communication occurred through handwritten letters. Because the postal system in many Latin American countries is unreliable, the Church made arrangements to organize its own postal service for missionaries called POUCH. (I’m sure that’s an acronym or has some significant meaning, but don’t ask me to know it, because I couldn’t tell you.) Though I was no longer a full-time missionary, she still was. And so POUCH worked out great. We kept writing letters through POUCH after she returned home. Now neither one of us were full-time missionaries. For some reason, our letters continued to get exchanged, but it wasn’t to last. Eventually, my last letter was returned with a notice written on the outside of the envelope to use the regular postal service. I totally understood. Using this system for missionaries while we weren’t missionaries put the whole system at risk of being shut down. And if you’ve served a mission, you know how important mail can be for maintaining motivation and morale. So I wasn’t going to argue. But I did miss my friend and the joy I felt in reading her letters. How it continues  Now imagine my joy to see a Facebook message from that same friend after all these years. We quickly learned about each other’s careers in the intervening years. We shared stories about COVID and how the church has responded in each of our home countries. And we relived the joy of friendship we shared all those years ago. We picked up so well it was as though we had never lost contact. Yes, miracles still happen. And what better time for a miracle than the Christmas season? This unexpected but warmly welcomed gift fills my heart with gratitude not only for my Christmas miracle but also for the greatest Christmas miracle of all. As the source of all good, He is everything. We have nothing without Him. And so as we #LightTheWorld this Christmas season, let us open our hearts to the miracles that can unfold in our own lives. Miracles still happen, both during Christmas and all year round. When you open yourself to possibility and give freely to others, sooner or later others will give freely to you. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
And speaking of videos, there on the main Light the World web page you can find the latest Nativity video from the Church. This is an expansion of the clips that the Church released last year into a short film lasting around 18 minutes. I’m glad I had a box of tissues nearby when I watched it. I was so overcome with emotion, especially near the end when the three wise men and their cohort kneel before the boy Jesus. It is hands down the absolute best depiction of the Nativity story I have ever seen. I won’t belabor this because, as the best program the Church has offered yet, it is quite simply self-explanatory. So learn more about the Church’s latest effort, and then decide how you will share the light of Christ this Christmas season. Whether you participate in the Church’s Light the World campaign or you embrace your own effort, you can add your contribution to that of others all over the world in helping others to feel our Savior’s love this Christmas season. Together we can light the world one by one. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
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Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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