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The world needs your light

11/30/2022

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You have your light because it will dispel the darkness for someone.
It’s time once again for the Church’s annual Light the World campaign, and I must say this is one holiday tradition I look forward to keeping.  Yes, there are some holiday traditions I prefer to bury and let die, like my father’s insistence on putting shelled peanuts in our Christmas stockings.  He claims that’s the tradition he encountered as a child, but I remember asking his father once about that and learned it wasn’t peanuts my father had in his stocking as a child.  It was oranges!

Regardless of which side of that debate you take, the Light the World campaign is one tradition we can all agree on.  I suppose one reason why I like this tradition so much is how it invites us back to the real reason for the season.  We all have traditions around the holidays, but as I get older, I tend to find myself drawn towards including those that draw me closer to the whole reason why we have a holiday at the end of December in the first place.
I also like how each year the Light the World campaign just gets better and better.  Just when I think there’s no way next year can be better, next year comes along and proves me wrong.  The Church always finds a way to take it to the next level, and this year is no exception.  This year, the tradition gets a whole lot simpler.  And the simple truth is the world needs your light.

No calendars

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I just love that emphasis for the tradition this year.  Typically there is a calendar with a suggested activity for each day.  This year, it’s all about sharing the light of Christ that all of us have within us.  You share the light within you because the world needs your light.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I thought the calendars from previous years were great.  I loved them.  But I find myself loving this shift to emphasize individual initiative even more.  Part of that is from the highlight of “25 Days of Kindness.”  There is a beauty in the simplicity of not having everyone be part of some program but rather recognizing and sharing the seemingly small acts of kindness all around each one of us.

I say seemingly small intentionally.  What may seem small to us can make all the world of difference to others.  Too often we discount our own power to influence for good because in our own eyes we don’t measure up to whatever (often impossible) standard we adopt for ourselves.  But you don’t have your light just because it can dispel the darkness for someone.  You have your light because it will dispel the darkness for someone.  The world needs your light.

Nothing grandiose

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I also love how this year the Church combines a simpler emphasis with a notched-up professional production.  The video they made to introduce the campaign this year is really top class.  That’s not to say videos from previous years weren’t great.  There just seems to be a professional grade quality that’s next level up from last year.

And the upgrade in quality isn’t just in the professional look and feel of the video.  It’s also in the emphasis on seemingly small yet simple ways of letting your light shine.  We don’t see anyone in the video doing anything grandiose.  They’re doing what anyone can do.  And the difference that light makes to those who receive it is evident.  Again, the world needs your light.

Just giving

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We spend far too much time focused on reasons not to give and not to influence for good.  We convince ourselves we can’t make a difference.  We doubt ourselves and the ability we all really do have to dispel the darkness in the lives of others.

Yet if we reflect on the real reason for the season, we can realize that He never concerned Himself with how His actions would or wouldn’t be received.  His approach was simple.  He just gave.  When it came to kindness, He just was.  When we follow that example and simply give, we can lift our light higher and let it shine in a world growing ever more dark.

Yes, the world needs your light.  You were given gifts and talents so that you could offer others the light they need.  You don’t need a lot to make a lot of difference.  You just need to give and let your light shine.  In so doing, you’ll help others remember the real reason for the season.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Find your new joy

11/23/2022

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I realized that anyone can adapt to undesired change.  You just need to find your new joy.
With Thanksgiving almost upon us, let’s talk gratitude.  But this year, considering my current challenges, I have a unexpectedly new perspective on that topic.

Recent audience members know about my health challenges and how my recovery has included some dietary restrictions essential for promoting my healing.  If I transgress them, I’ll suffer for it in terms of pain.  And I won’t have to wait long to feel it.

That brings me to the holidays upon us and what will very likely be the hardest part of my recovery.  So many holiday celebrations revolve around food.  And 99% of those foods fall outside the restrictions of my new diet.
You’d think that situation would turn me away from gratitude, but I had an experience the other day that turned me around.  I realized that anyone can adapt to undesired change.  You just need to find your new joy.

Coming to terms

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We’re all creatures of habit, and I certainly have habits when it comes to the holidays.  As I just mentioned, many of those habits involve food.

My condition won’t last forever.  One day my recovery will end.  I don’t expect I’ll go back to how I was before my first ER visit, and I’m not sure I’ll want to go back.  But I am sure I’ll want to partake of my favorite foods occasionally — and indulge a bit when the annual holidays come around.

That’s all cold comfort for me right now.  Or at least it was.  Sure, the thought of being around people gorging themselves on delicacies I can’t now enjoy doesn’t exactly fill me with delight.  I already cancelled my birthday food plan.  Now I’ll need to cancel my food plans for Thanksgiving and probably also Christmas and New Years.  You’d think I wouldn’t have gratitude from this — and you’d be right before I had this wonderful experience the other day.

Seeing new perspectives

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I was shopping for some new diet items and of course conscious of the items in others’ carts — items I wanted in mine but dared not on penalty of pain.  So I tried distracting myself by focusing on accomplishing the task before me.  I would get what I needed and go.

That’s when the thought came to me.  I’m not that bad off.  First, I’ve been moving towards my present diet for some time in increments.  I just didn’t want to surrender my favorite foods completely.  My current condition won’t tolerate the increments; I have to be there now.  That sudden shift gives new perspective on how much moving in small increments was really worth, and that’s something to be grateful for.

Second, removing those foods from my diet left a lot of space, so I’ve been searching out recipes online that meet my restrictions.  One by one, I’m finding them.  Not only that, I’m finding new worlds of flavor as I avoid usual fillers like sugar and embrace spices and seasonings.  I’m not sure I’d have all these wonderful new taste experiences without my health challenges driving me, and that’s something to be grateful for.

Third, many of these recipes are so easy to make and way cheaper than the pre-packaged versions that I’m finding a new perspective on convenience.  The short term convenience of time I get a can or a box doesn’t outweigh other conveniences like more flavor in my mouth, more health in my body, and more money in my bank account.  All that’s something to be grateful for.

Finding new joys

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When I put it all together, I have an experience I wouldn’t otherwise have.  And that gives me a new perspective on not just my health but also living my life and finding more joy in it.

Yes, I’ve had some undesired changes in my life, but I still have access to joy.  It’s not the same joy I had previously; my circumstances won’t permit that.  But new doors open for every old one that closes, and behind those new doors are new experiences, perspectives, and joys that all give reason for gratitude.  So even though I won’t be partaking of the usual Thanksgiving Day feast tomorrow, I will be reflecting on how grateful I am for the new joys I’ve found and continue to find in my new life.

So when your situation changes in a way you really don’t want, please take a moment to consider what you do have and find your new joy.  You’ll gain new perspectives and new experiences you’ll wish you would have found earlier, and you’ll find yourself grateful you did find them.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Footsteps of faith

11/16/2022

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. . . that new road just heightens my need to take footsteps of faith.
This past week was not great for me.  My pancreatitis pain returned, and I’m not sure why.  I was following my diet restrictions religiously in order to avoid more pain.  I saw the doctor, who ordered some more tests but doesn’t think my condition is becoming more serious.

In that context, I turned to Conference for the program today because I feel I need an extra boost.  And of course, Conference delivers.  After considering a few different options — all of them highly suitable — I settled on President M. Russell Ballard’s address from Saturday afternoon entitled “Follow Jesus Christ with Footsteps of Faith.”  Something about this one felt right.

I soon saw why.  President Ballard’s references to the pioneers really resonated with me in the midst of my own difficult journey.  In a way, I’m something of a pioneer.  I’ve had my first visit to the emergency room, my first hospital stay, and my first surgery.  The road I’m walking now is unexpectedly new to me.  But that new road just heightens my need to take footsteps of faith.

My pioneer mission

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Despite the newness of my current road, I’m not entirely in unfamiliar territory.  I covered ground much like this on my mission.  Being sick all the time with symptoms that came and went so much I couldn’t tell you what the next day would be like, let alone when exactly it would end.  That sounds a lot like the road I’m on right now.

President Ballard mentioned his own missionary service in his address, and it caused me to reflect on my own service, particularly how it prepared me for my life.  It’s provided me a foundation for each new segment of my life journey.

That’s why I really appreciated President Ballard’s initial words.  Right out of the gate, he starts with bold testimony:


Brothers and sisters, I testify that as we follow Jesus Christ with footsteps of faith, there is hope. There is hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. There is hope for all in this life. There is hope to overcome our mistakes, our sorrows, our struggles, and our trials and our troubles. There is hope in repentance and being forgiven and in forgiving others. I testify that there is hope and peace in Christ. He can carry us today through difficult times. He did it for the early pioneers, and He will do it now for each one of us.
I need that hope now as I face my current challenges.  It’s one thing to say it’ll all be over because I go home at the end of two years.  It’s another when you don’t have such a marker in sight.

Pioneers and prophets

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It’s not altogether surprising President Ballard centered his remarks around pioneers.  He’s spoken in past Conferences about his pioneer ancestors and the lessons they offered him — and through him to all of us.

Such references often get me thinking about my own pioneer ancestors.  I don’t know much about them because the principle one never kept a journal.  Perhaps my knowledge of my ancestors’ lives will change one day.

In the meantime, I can lean on others like President Ballard to fill that gap.  I was particularly impressed when he shared,


My great-grandparents followed Jesus Christ with footsteps of faith throughout each of their trials. I am grateful to them for never giving up. Their footsteps of faith have blessed me and subsequent generations, just as your footsteps of faith today will bless your posterity.
How many of us have really thought about that?  It’s easy to get wrapped up in the difficulties of our own lives, so much so we can easily forget that the story of how we confronted our challenges could help those who come after us confront theirs.  Knowing my response can help others gives me strength to make a better choice.

President Ballard spoke of other pioneers.  In particular, he mentioned President Nelson:

President Nelson has been a pioneer in the Church. As an Apostle he has traveled to and opened many lands for the preaching of the gospel. Shortly after becoming the prophet and President of the Church, he pled with us to “increase [our] spiritual capacity to receive revelation.” He continues to teach us to strengthen our testimonies. In a devotional for young adults, he said:

“I plead with you to take charge of your testimony. Work for it. Own it. Care for it. Nurture it so that it will grow. …

“[Then] watch for miracles to happen in your life.”

I so very much appreciated that quote from President Nelson, for if I ever needed a miracle, I need one now.  What a tender mercy!

Our pioneer Savior

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Of course, President Ballard saved the best example for last — our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  That’s altogether fitting since Christ is the ultimate anything good.  Plus President Ballard’s remarks are entitled “Follow Jesus Christ with Footsteps of Faith.”  It’s not just walking in faith.  It’s walking the path of Christ in faith.

Moreover, it’s not walking behind Him so much as it is beside Him.  That concept I find especially comforting in my current difficulties.  Don’t get me wrong.  This road has been very rough, and I’m just getting started with it.  But even in my most painful moments, the Lord has never abandoned me.  He has stood beside me through it all.  His walk beside me in my moments of difficulty invites me to walk beside Him in my moments of ease (which will come one day, for eventually this all will pass).

President Ballard’s testimony of the Savior especially moved me.


Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is the ultimate pioneer in preparing the way. Indeed, He is “the way” for the plan of salvation to be accomplished so that we can repent and, through faith in Him, return to our Heavenly Father.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He has promised to not leave us comfortless; He will come to us in our trials. He has invited us to “come unto [Him] with full purpose of heart, and [He] shall heal [us].”

I testify that Jesus Christ is our Savior and our Redeemer, our Advocate with the Father. Our Heavenly Father has opened the way for us to return to Him by following His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, with faith in every footstep.

Whatever road in life, may we each seek to follow Jesus Christ with footsteps of faith.  He’ll strengthen us to become shining examples for those who follow us.  He’ll encourage us through the voice of His Spirit and His living Prophet.  And He will stand ready to lift us to higher ground as our trials bring our glean to a brilliant glorious sheen.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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One day at a time

11/9/2022

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My condition forces me to address the current moment, which changes like the weather.  But thinking about that approach to my recovery revealed something intriguing.
Finally out of the hospital, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to be outside breathing fresh air and free.  Of course, I’m not yet free of my health challenges; a long road of recovery lies ahead of me.  In addition to pancreatitis, I have a pulmonary embolism.  That’s why I had breathing problems the day after surgery.

But each day I did my part to improve, doing what I could with what I had while entertaining no surrender.  I improved enough after a couple of days to get discharged.  Now the real work begins.  I need to do my part each day to aid my recovery.

One lesson I’ve learned very quickly as I start down that road is the need to take one day at a time.  My condition forces me to address the current moment, which changes like the weather.  But thinking about that approach to my recovery revealed something intriguing.  Taking things one day a time is also a good approach for life.

Assessing the moment

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Pancreatitis is inflammation of the pancreas, which the pancreas can heal on its own.  But to do so, it must be allowed to focus on that task.  Calling it away for its usual duty of producing digestive enzymes or insulin will distract it and thereby prolong healing.

That restriction has wrecked some havoc on my diet.  Initially I was on a liquid diet and then slowly graduated to more solid food.  So long as I stay within my restrictions and keep my meals small (this also helps the pancreas to focus on healing), I should be fine.  That said, I still feel swings in my abdomen.  Some moments feel better than others.

I have even worse swings from my pulmonary embolism.  The blood thinners I’m on have some funky side effects, one of which is lightheadedness.  It comes and goes, some moments being better than others.  Today was particularly bad.  The lightheadedness was extreme as I’d never before felt in my life, and it stayed with me the whole morning.  I spent much of the day today in the emergency room, where the doctor finally concluded I was experiencing a side effect of my meds.

Confronting the moment

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How do I deal with a condition that not only constantly changes but changes so often I don’t really know how I’ll be the next day?  The only real option I have is to do the best I can to attend to the demands of the moment.  My condition forces it on me.

But that’s not very different from what I’ve been sharing here on Joy in the Journey Radio.  We find our best joy in life from living in the moment.  Letting go of what things will mean tomorrow opens a door that otherwise remains closed.

For example, LDS singles leave much joy on the table when dating by worrying about what different social interactions will mean for them tomorrow.  “I don’t want to sit next to those people because then they’ll think I’m interested, and I’m not.”  We think we know so much, yet in truth, we don’t know that much, and we see even less.  There’s countless tales of couples who didn’t think they were right for each other but who are very happy today because they let go of what they thought they needed and embraced the opportunity in the moment.

Embracing the moment

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Of course, letting go of what things will mean tomorrow isn’t license for leaving the covenant path.  I’m in no way suggesting we ignore the consequences of sin.  What I’m saying is that within the confines of our covenants we too often focus outside of the present moment, and that focus leaves a lot of joy on the table we could have every day by living in the present moment.

By embracing the moments that come within the confines of our covenants, we position ourselves for maximum joy.  Redefining what we consider opportunity to be reveals more pathways to experience that joy.  The road can still be rough, as I can attest.  Some of the moments that confront me are less than pleasant.  But I know by doing my best with each moment, I know I’m making my journey as good as it can be.

Embrace your life one day at a time.  When you stop living in some future that never seems to come or the past that you cannot change, you find more possibilities in your life.  You’ll gain more perspective that breeds more hope for the future.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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An unexpected promise

11/2/2022

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The Lord has bolstered my faith through an unexpected promise.
Surgery went fine yesterday, but I’m still in the hospital with some new complications.  Simple acts like standing up or taking just a few steps leave me incredibly out of breath, as if I’d just run long distance.  No one seems to know anything, leaving me wondering what’s happening to me.

I’m also still in much pain post-surgery.  I’ve never had surgery before, and so this new experience undoubtedly stresses my body.  Add to that not eating because of all the confusion surrounding whether I would get one surgery or two and the lack of food after my surgery, and I wouldn’t be surprised if all these new stressors have something to do with my new condition.  I’ve had exercise-induced asthma for years.  Maybe these stressors simply kicked that up a notch.
Regardless of what’s going on there, I know the Lord will be with me to see me through.  I know that because He’s always been with me throughout this entire ordeal.  He’s never left my side.  In fact, he gave me a wonderful experience.  The Lord has bolstered my faith through an unexpected promise.

A promise made

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Going into the hospital, I had no insurance.  I’ve been looking at options in recent years, but I always made too much money to qualify for Medicaid, and what remained was simply not affordable.  Something had to change, because there’s no way I can pay all the bills I’m racking up.  But with all the stress of it on me, I thought to put it off until after I get out of the hospital.

Sunday I was reading in the D&C and came upon an interesting verse.  The Prophet Joseph had traveled to Salem, Massachusetts, to pursue a claim of funds that could help alleviate the debts of the Church.  Then I read this verse: “Concern not yourselves about your debts, for I will give you power to pay them” (D&C 111:5).

I’d read that verse many times before, but this time it struck me with great force.  I felt as though a way would be prepared for me, that I didn’t need to worry about it and could focus on getting through this experience in the hospital.  I set my concerns about payment aside, but I had no idea what lay in store for me.

A promise fulfilled

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The next day, I find text messages which my brother had sent me while I slept.  His wife rarely speaks out with any sort of intervention in my life, but she had one that night and urged my brother to share it with me.

She spoke from her previous experience working as an office manager for an assisted living home.  And the advice was simple.  "Let the hospital help you apply for Medicaid, and let them decide whether or not you qualify."  I had looked at that earlier in the month and thought I didn’t qualify.  But having nothing to lose by following that counsel, I pursued it.

I started with the number for the case manager who had visited me earlier.  Eventually, I connected with someone who submitted an application for me.  And the application came back approved.  The real miracle of this event is that coverage begins from the first day of the month from the application date.  I applied on the last day of the month, so everything from the moment I first walked into the emergency room would be covered.

A faith bolstered

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I didn’t expect the Lord’s promise to be fulfilled so quickly.  I thought everything would get resolved after I got out of the hospital.  But in His love and mercy, He opened a way for His promise to be fulfilled.

That may seem like a trite, little story, but the thought that came to me after I understood my expenses would be covered was neither trite nor little.  Through the Spirit, the Lord reminded me of the promise He made me regarding my eternal companion and testified that promise was still real.  Just as He fulfilled this unexpected promise regarding my medical expenses, He would open the way for His promise of an eternal companion to be fulfilled.

D&C 111 isn’t one of those sections that one would expect to provide special, faith-promoting experiences.  Yet an unexpected promise I received while reading that section has given me a much needed bolster to my faith, and I remain grateful to God for His love and mercy.

So open yourself to unexpected promises.  These tender mercies from the Lord can lead to the bolster of faith you may need in your life.  As you share that experience with others, you can help them increase their faith.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Fight your fears with faith

10/26/2022

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No matter what life gives, when you choose to act, you can fight your fears with faith.
Searching for a Halloween-based theme for the program today, I was reminded of the broadcast on Halloween night four years ago.  In that episode, I encouraged LDS singles to face their fears with faith.  Deepening faith deepens power.

Two years ago, I stopped to reflect back on my progress over the previous two years.  How much of my fear had I actually conquered?  Did the words about deciding in faith what my response to fear would be actually inspire me to act?  When you decide to walk with the Lord, He’ll make you more and more equal to the more and more challenges you confront in your life.
Another two years later, I need those words.  I find myself challenged even more with a hospital stay.  It’s a new experience for me, as is needing any surgery, let alone two.  All this has been unexpectedly thrust upon me.  Yet even in these challenging circumstances, I can still choose my response. And so can you.  No matter what life gives, when you choose to act, you can fight your fears with faith.

Pray and act

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My most recent trouble began with abdominal pain, coming hard, fast, and sharp one afternoon.  It seemed to wane as the night came, so I thought I might sleep it off.

But the pain returned very soon after awakening.  Having recently been diagnosed with an ulcer, I thought the pain might be excess stomach acid.  I took a couple of antacid tablets and waited, but the pain continued on.  And it was so massive, I couldn’t ignore it.  But I didn’t know what to do.

So I prayed for help.  A voice I felt more than I heard whispered, “Go to the emergency room.”  I looked at the time and wondered if I shouldn’t try to tough it out for three or four more hours, because then the clinic, which costs less than the emergency room, would be open.  Again the voice whispered, “Go to the emergency room.”  So I got dressed, put my shoes on, and went.

There was certainly no sense of emergency in the people working there.  Eventually I learned my previous diagnosis of an ulcer was not correct.  My real problem is pancreatitis, a severe inflammation of the pancreas caused, in my case, by gallstones.  But here’s where it gets tricky.  Some of those gallstones have traveled into the bile duct connecting the liver with the pancreas.  Those must be removed before the gallbladder.  Due to differences in how surgeons enter the body for each of these tasks, two surgeries are necessary.

Make your choice

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The universe isn’t without a sense of irony.  I was thinking just the other day very little in my life is actually going my way.  Everything seems a challenge, and I’m continually fighting from the edge of a cliff hoping not to fall over the edge into despair.  Then I get this.

As if that isn’t bad enough, the first surgery’s scheduled for Monday.  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m going to be under the knife on Halloween.  I think I’ve had my fill of irony!

Still, the choice we all have remains for me.  Where will I place my focus?  And what action will I choose?  Sure, I have fears.  In addition to ones stemming from current events, some of the same fears that plagued me four years ago continue to haunt me today.  That’s because I haven’t taken sufficient action to build the faith needed to conquer those fears.

And so it goes for us all.  When we focus on what we lack, we encourage inaction, and faith being a principle of action cannot thrive, leaving fear to reign.  But when we focus on what we can do and take action, always taking the next step we can take, we build the faith we need to fight fear.

Don’t slow down

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It’s so easy to step back and surrender to fear.  So often we all choose habits of maintaining the status quo rather than consciously maintaining our momentum towards our best life.  But the easy choice rarely leads to great reward.

Faith is built only through action.  To have the faith the face your fears, you must act.  Initially, any action will do, just to get some momentum.  Once you start building enough momentum through any action, then you can shift your direction so you move towards your best life.

When you choose to act, you can fight your fears with faith.  The Lord hasn’t given up on you, so why should you?  Take His strength, act in that strength, and no matter what comes your way, you can truly believe great things are in store for you.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch clips from other full episodes on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Re-hoist friendship

10/19/2022

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It’s time for LDS singles to re-hoist friendship in dating and singles groups.
Recently a Church video just sent me into tears.  As my dear departed grandmother would say, I broke a water main.  The video told the story of Troy Russell and the aftermath of a terrible accident in which Troy lost his son.  But especially tragic is the part Troy played in his son’s death.

Nevertheless, the story ends with hope as it interweaves the experience of Troy’s friend John Manning into the tale.  For months after the accident, many offered help, but John’s contribution was key.  In the spirit of true friendship, he helped Troy recover from grief.  What impressed me the most about John’s contribution wasn’t the nature of any particular intervention but rather the attitude informing John’s actions.
That attitude can greatly bless the lives of us LDS singles as we interact with each other.  Too often we see opportunities to interact through the lens of dating, which often pulls us away from blessing others’ lives.  Seeing through the lens of friendship, we’ll more often provide needed assistance.  It’s time for LDS singles to re-hoist friendship in dating and singles groups.

Just listen

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In the video, John admits he couldn’t “fix” Troy, nor did he attempt to.  In fact, the casual observer might conclude John didn’t do much at all.

John certainly wanted to help, but given everything so many others were doing, John didn’t see much for him to do.  Then he started doing something more of us need to do more often; he listened.  John invited Troy to ride with him in his truck and let Troy say whatever he wanted.  John simply listened.

There’s probably a lot the video doesn’t show.  But the simple act of listening is beyond profound.  We all have a basic human need to be heard and to feel understood.  By not directing Troy or trying to give him something, John showed complete respect for Troy’s agency.  And by simply listening to Troy, John declared he would stand by Troy regardless of the path Troy chose or what pace he pursued.  That’s the mark of a true friend.

What blessing could we be to other LDS singles if we simply listened more?  Instead of interacting only with those whom we want to date, what if we interacted with everyone with an interest in understanding them or simply letting them be heard?  By putting aside the personal agenda, we re-hoist friendship to its rightful valued place.

See sameness

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Many LDS singles see a duality in their local Church community, especially in geographic wards.  There’s the singles and the marrieds.   It’s an extremely common perspective among singles.

But the story in the video takes a different  perspective.  The two groups there were the grieving (Troy and his family) and the supporters (everyone else trying to help).  That’s significant.  John viewed Troy as a brother, not someone fundamentally different.  If we LDS singles could see one another more as brothers and sisters, we could re-hoist friendship in a new culture of togetherness.

Now, I know some of you are saying.  “Yeah, but John and Troy are both married, so of course John would see Troy as one of his group.”  Perhaps, but John could’ve found a substantial enough difference if he looked for it.  The point is he didn’t.  He saw Troy as just as much a person as he was, and that view allowed him to feel more compassion and more desire to be the true friend he was.

Involve others

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John also involved others in demonstrating support for Troy.  The scene where John and the group present the jersey to Troy just jerks my tears.  Then there’s what appears to be his ward releasing balloons in celebration of his son’s birthday.  As John continued standing by Troy, many other opportunities to show support probably presented themselves.  And they all helped Troy along his path.

What if we singles involved one another in supporting each other?  What if, instead of everyone doing their own thing, everyone reached out to include everyone?  What if we each told each other, “Come talk with me,” “Come sit with me”, and “Come do what I’m doing with me”?  Real friends bring everyone in.  That may be the best support for singles dealing with their pain and grief, many of whom struggle unbeknownst to those around them.

Let’s re-hoist friendship in all our interactions with each other.  By listening to one another, seeing one another as brothers and sisters, and involving others in building community, we not only embrace but also embody true friendship.  By bringing ourselves closer to each other, we bring ourselves closer to God.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch a clip from the full episode on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Take time to be holy

10/12/2022

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We best express that intention when we take time to be holy.
During the program last week, I said we should spend time every day with the Lord, and that got me thinking.  Of course, we need to spend time with the Lord every day, This statement seems rather obvious.  We’ll never develop the deeply trusting relationship we need to have with Him otherwise.

But what does spending time with Him actually mean?  I doubt it means perfunctory prayer and scripture reading, as good as those habits are.  How do you build a relationship when you simply go through the motions?

Spending time with the Lord does involve daily prayer and scripture study to be sure, but simply going through the motions won’t build a trusting relationship with anyone.  What would?  Approaching the moment with intention.  And we best express that intention when we take time to be holy.

Approach with intention

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When you pray, what do you intend the result to be?  Surely we can all think of prayers we offered simply because it was time to pray.  We had a habit of praying upon getting out of bed, for instance, and we were simply going through the motions when the time came.

And what resulted?  We could cross morning prayers off our to-do list.  When you think about it, that was the result intended by just going through the motions.  If all you wanted was to go through the motion, then in the end that’s what you got — a completed motion.

That approach with prayer — or anything else in life — will never result in a growing relationship with anyone, let alone the Lord.  To have the result of an improved relationship, your approach must invite that result.  You must approach with the intention of securing your desired outcome.  That doesn’t mean merely wanting your desired outcome as you approach the moment.  That means your approach leverages the moment to turn your intention into your desired result.

How would your prayers be different if you approached them with the intention of building a relationship with the Lord?  Would you use the same tired phrases over and over?  Would you deliver a laundry list of desires?  Or would you open your heart, share your hopes and fears, present more of a conversation than a monologue, and spend more time listening for the Lord’s voice after you concluded your prayer?

Schedule your intentions

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Scripture study goes the same way.  Your time with the scriptures will build a closer relationship with the Lord when you approach it with intention.  Don’t just read.  Actively look for the Lord in the scriptures.  Seek Him out by trying to understand His character, His qualities, His perspective, and His perfection through the written words.

Thus it goes for anything in life.  Don’t just collide with the waves in the waters of the moment.  Approach the moment before you with intention. Planning the moment in advance can help you do that.

Modern life tends to have so many currents pulling you in so many different directions that, unless you’re intentional about your day, opportunities for improvement will pass you by and you’ll find yourself no closer to your goals and dreams.  It’s hard to approach the moment with intention when that moment doesn’t happen.  Schedule it so it will.

Make the time

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That’s not to say every moment you plan will go as planned.  Life is about change and learning how to adapt to change.  But if you don’t schedule time for producing the results you want, you’re not likely to take the actions that will give you the results you desire.

Thus, to develop a relationship with the Lord, schedule the time you will spend building that relationship.  But if you really want to get serious, schedule not just time for activity but time to become more like Him.  What will you need to do to become more holy?  Pray with real intent?  Schedule that time.  Search Him out in the scriptures?  Make that time.  Devote yourself more in His holy house, a.k.a. the temple?  Schedule that time.  Spend more time serving others?  Schedule that time.

Take time to be holy.  As you schedule your moments and then approach those moments with intention, you’ll bit by bit strengthen your relationship with the Lord.  You’ll feel more of His love, which will strengthen you as you confront your challenges in life.  You can then approach with intention every other area of your life — your career, your social life, your dating, whatever — and start having more of the results you intend.  That’s not just going through the motions of life.  That’s living your life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch a clip from the full episode on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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The doctrine of belonging

10/5/2022

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It’s easier to feel belonging when we truly understand the doctrine of belonging.
As usual, Conference was wonderful, leaving me a difficult choice for which address would be the focus today for Joy in the Journey Radio.  It’s great Conference just gets better and better every six months, but it means selecting one address for the first post-Conference broadcast gets more and more difficult.

At length, I settled on Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s address “The Doctrine of Belonging.”  While not aimed exclusively at LDS singles, his remarks really resonated with me.  How many LDS singles have felt like they don’t belong in the Church?  How many LDS singles over the years have left the spiritual safety of the Church because they lacked that sense of belonging?
Elder Christofferson approached belonging from a doctrinal perspective with practical application to belonging.  That approach confirmed what we’ve been discussing here for years on Joy in the Journey Radio.  But it also enlightened my understanding of what it means to belong.  It’s easier to feel belonging when we truly understand the doctrine of belonging.

See the commonalities

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Elder Christofferson begins by listing the three parts of the doctrine of belonging: “the role of belonging in gathering the Lord's covenant people, the importance of service and sacrifice in belonging, and the centrality of Jesus Christ to belonging.”  Let’s talk about how each of these parts relates to LDS singles.

As the Lord gathers His covenant people across the world, we’d expect, as Elder Christofferson rightly notes, Church membership to become more diverse.  We see that diversity today in every conceivable way, including life situation.  This diversity offers great strength and richness but also great challenge as our biological hardwiring influences us to compare ourselves with others in order to assess how “normal” we are.

Without context, such comparisons can demoralize and depress us.  Elder Christofferson illustrated this effect in the story of Jody King, a married woman confronting infertility.  As I listened to the heartrending emotions expressed in Sister King’s experience, I recognized a great parallel.  You could change the details of her story from would-be-mother to would-be spouse, and the emotions would stay the same.  We need to see less of the details differentiating us and more of our commonality as children of God.

Elder Christofferson recognized that need when he taught,


A sense of belonging is important to our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Yet it is quite possible that at times each of us might feel that we don’t fit in. In discouraging moments, we may feel that we will never measure up to the Lord’s high standards or the expectations of others. We may unwittingly impose expectations on others—or even ourselves—that are not the Lord’s expectations. We may communicate in subtle ways that the worth of a soul is based on certain achievements or callings, but these are not the measure of our standing in the Lord’s eyes. “The Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7) He cares about our desires and longings and what we are becoming.
We too should care about what others around us are becoming more than what they are today.

Serve one another

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In addition, we gain a sense of belonging within the Church as we serve and contribute to the larger Church community.  This makes obvious sense and yet the realization of its truth escapes many of us precisely because it is so simple.

We feel like we belong to a larger group when we do what those in the group do.  Singles don’t do everything marrieds do (or at least they shouldn’t), and that distinction highlights the earlier distinction of identity (“I’m single and you’re married”) that destroys any feeling of belonging.

But serving one another is something everyone can do.  Being true to as many covenants as one’s made is something everyone can do.  When everyone serves everyone else and turns their focus there, we see ourselves more doing what the group does and foster the sense of belonging we crave.

Elder Christofferson recognized this truth as he shared,


Although we rarely think about it, much of our belonging comes from our service and the sacrifices we make for others and for the Lord. Excessive focus on our personal needs or our own comfort can frustrate that sense of belonging.
How often have we singles focused excessively on our own unmet needs?  Think back to such a moment in your life and consider whether you felt like you belonged to the larger Church community in that moment.  However legitimate your unmet needs, focusing there always leads to feelings of isolation and abandonment, not belonging.

Come unto Christ

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Of course, the highest and most important sense of belonging comes through Christ.  We best promote that sense of belonging by nourishing a personal relationship with Him.  We must spend time with Him daily.

As I think back upon my many years of LDS singles life, I can remember many struggles with finding acceptance within my peer group.  What helped me the most in those times was remembering He Who “came unto his own, and his own received him not” (John 1:11).  Leveraging my struggle to feel closer to the Lord has helped me feel more belonging to Him, the only sense of belonging that really matters in the end.

Elder Christofferson displayed that perspective as he declared,


The Church is the custodian of the covenants of salvation and exaltation that God offers us through the ordinances of the holy priesthood. It is by keeping these covenants that we obtain the highest and deepest sense of belonging. President Russell M. Nelson recently wrote:

“Once you and I have made a covenant with God, our relationship with Him becomes much closer than before our covenant. Now we are bound together. Because of our covenant with God, He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us. Each of us has a special place in God’s heart. …

“… Jesus Christ is the guarantor of those covenants (see Hebrews 7:22; 8:6).”

If we will remember this, the Lord’s high hopes for us will inspire, not discourage, us.

We can feel joy as we pursue, individually and communally, “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13). Despite disappointments and setbacks along the way, it is a grand quest. We lift and encourage each other in pursuing the upward path, knowing that no matter tribulation and no matter delays in promised blessings, we can “be of good cheer; [for Christ has] overcome the world” (John 16:33), and we are with Him. Being one with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is without doubt the ultimate in belonging.

LDS singles must live the doctrine of belonging in order to thrive and experience maximum joy despite their circumstances.  As we identify as members of the covenant, strive to keep those covenants while serving one another, and spend time daily nourishing our relationship with the Lord, we can gain a sense of belonging to Him and His Church.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch a clip from the full episode on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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Now is the time

9/28/2022

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Now is the time to become the man or woman you were meant to become.
As has been our custom, we’re preparing for General Conference by reviewing one of the Prophet’s addresses from the last Conference.  And the remarks President Nelson made in the address we selected possess an evergreen propriety.

I’m speaking here of the final address of the previous Conference entitled “Now Is the Time.”  It provided a fitting end to the Conference by conveying the attitude with which not just to leave Conference but also to leave behind your former life and embrace a new you.

That’s not a new or unique message to Joy in the Journey Radio.  You’ve always had the power to change your life, and you’ve always had dreams because you were meant to use that power to turn those dreams into reality.  There’s no better time than now to make your dreams real.  Now is the time to become the man or woman you were meant to become.

Today will soon be yesterday

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Time passes by so quickly.  It seems only yesterday I came home from my mission.  Yet in reality it’s been not one day but almost 10,000 days — 27 years.  That number staggers my imagination.

And what changes have occurred in all that time?  I’ve grown in ways I never imagined when I looked into the future 27 years ago.  Many are quite positive, but many have me living far beneath my dreams.  Comparing what I saw for myself then with what I see in myself now reveals vast differences that beg the questions: How did I get here?  How did it come to this?

Many LDS singles ask themselves similar questions as they take stock of themselves.  They live far beneath the dreams they had when they were younger.  And with the world becoming ever more chaotic, they wonder how those dreams have any chance of coming true.

Much lies outside your own individual power to change, but much more remains within it.  As President Nelson reminds us,


The future is always uncertain. Weather changes. Economic cycles are unpredictable. Disasters, accidents, and illness can change life quickly. These actions are largely beyond our control. But there are some things we can control, including how we spend our time each day.
That last part — how you spend your time each day — is key.  Your best life is the collection of results you desire.  Results come only from action.  And every action, in order to exist, must occupy space and time.  You can’t change the past, and the future’s always a day away.  All you have is here and now.  And it turns out that’s all you need to begin living your best life.

It’s time to start moving

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Far too many of us hold ourselves back from our best life.  We focus on the obstacles instead of the opportunities.  We keep looking for and listening to excuses instead of ways to move forward.  And without forward motion, we’ll never develop the momentum we need to push through tough times.

Some hear these arguments and decide to fool themselves.  They leverage lessons from their past to formulate brilliant plans for moving forward.  They feel good about themselves after spending inordinate amounts of time planning and preparing.  But those good feelings never translate into a new life.  Their actions don’t deliver the results of their dreams but rather trick their minds into thinking they’ve done something substantial when in reality they haven’t.

President Nelson understood that situation.  He taught,


Yes, we should learn from the past, and yes, we should prepare for the future. But only now can we do. Now is the time we can learn. Now is the time we can repent. Now is the time we can bless others and “lift up the hands which hang down.” As Mormon counseled his son Moroni, “Let us labor diligently; … for we have a labor to perform [while] in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God.”

The adversary never sleeps. There will always be opposition to the truth. I repeat my urging from this morning to do those things that will increase your positive spiritual momentum, that lift Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf was talking about, that will keep you moving forward through whatever challenges and opportunities come.

Positive spiritual momentum increases as we worship in the temple and grow in our understanding of the magnificent breadth and depth of the blessings we receive there. I plead with you to counter worldly ways by focusing on the eternal blessings of the temple. Your time there brings blessings for eternity.

It’s forward momentum that keeps you moving from one success to another.  Momentum carries you through life’s rough seasons and makes your dreams come true.  And the only way to get momentum is to start moving and then keep moving.  Now is the time to start moving.

Right now is the time

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Everything we talk about on Joy in the Journey Radio is meant to help LDS singles live their best life.  And all of it will mean absolutely nothing for you unless you wield your power of agency to do what you can with what you have right here right now.

All you have is this moment.  When you waste it, nothing in your life changes, at least not for the better.  So don’t waste it.  Begin gathering momentum now.  Live within your covenants more completely now.  Make more time for the temple now.  Take more action towards the results you want in life now.

Now is the time because now is the only time you have.  Once the present becomes the past, you can’t change it.  And when you allow enough present moments to become past regrets you can’t change, your present life falls far below your dreams, leaving you to wonder how you ever got there to begin with.

Don’t wait, and don’t doubt yourself.  Start taking action towards your best life.  Now is the time.  When you diligently take advantage of each present moment, they’ll become past successes that taken together will lift you into your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch a clip from the full episode on the Joy in the Journey Radio channel on YouTube or Rumble.
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    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

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