See the situation The story begins with Phil Connors, the weatherman for Channel 9 News in Pittsburgh. The man is clearly full of himself, so it’s no surprise no one really likes him, not even himself. He’s a rather disgruntled man who thinks covering the Groundhog Day Festival is beneath him. So imagine his shock when he wakes up thinking it’s February 3rd only to find out it’s February 2nd again. The bewilderment continues as each morning he wakes up to find that somehow in his sleep he went back in time by one day. He keeps living the same day over and over again. His first reaction is denial. This can’t be happening to me! Denial drives resistance, but no matter how he fights against his situation, the next morning is always February 2nd again. His denial then turns into despair. This report he gives at the festival summarizes his condition rather well.
That day ended in suicide, but it doesn’t end him. In despair, Phil keeps trying to kill himself in different ways trying unsuccessfully to escape his never-ending cycle. Note the pivotAnd then one of those February 2nd days becomes a pivot day when everything changes. Phil doesn’t escape the never-ending cycle, but he does find a new perspective on his situation. And what changed everything was Rita. Rita is Phil’s producer. She’s also the apple of his eye. Previously he spent God knows how many successive February 2nd days trying to get into her pants. But on his pivot day, Phil approaches Rita with a different agenda. Instead of trying to satiate his lust, he sincerely cries for help. (Why do I have a Rick Astley song in my head right now?) Rita helps him and in the process begins to fall for him. Of course, that disappears when everything resets the next morning. But Phil remains changed, and he starts spending his February 2nd days improving upon himself, working to become a better, more quality person. He takes up reading all kinds of books. He learns to play the piano. He takes up ice sculpting! Not only do his efforts make him a better person, they make his life more interesting. And the proof is in this report. It’s the same day, same festival, but a completely different Phil.
Once he stopped trying to escape his situation and embraced it, Phil was able to tap into the joy life has to offer every single day. In the end, he escapes the cycle and gets the girl. Take a lessonThe allegory here to LDS singles is so clear I wonder why I didn’t see it earlier. How many of us singles are in denial? No, I can’t be single. This can’t be happening to me! And no matter what we do to fight it, we seem caught in a never-ending cycle of singleness from which we cannot escape. But if we’d stop trying to escape from it and start embracing it, we could turn everything around. We could start looking inside ourselves and working to become better, more quality people. We can do things to make our lives more interesting. We could tap into the joy God wants us to have every single day. And we could help other singles to have their pivot day. Just as Rita helped turn things around for Phil, we can reach out to one another. Instead of looking only to satiate our own agendas when we interact with each other, we could help each other live better lives. When we take a lesson from Groundhog Day, we can make the most of what seems to be a never-ending cycle of singleness. By embracing our situation instead of trying to escape from it, we can live our best life and help others to do the same. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
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Understand the two logicsWe all process our world and our place in that world with the way we think. Understanding how men and women naturally think can then help us understand why men and women can’t really do without each other. To the surprise of many men, men and women are both logical. Women are biologically hardwired with emotional logic. They process their experiences in terms of how they feel. Men, on the other hand, are biologically hardwired with intellectual logic. They process their experiences in terms of how rational they are. Women naturally think with emotion, whereas men naturally think with rationale. Thus, the same event often elicits completely different responses from men and women. Take ghosting, for example. A man goes out several times with the same woman who then suddenly goes completely AWOL. The man’s bewildered because, using intellectual logic, it’s rational to expect a continuation of what’s already happened several times. It doesn’t make intellectual sense for the woman to disappear. But it could make emotional sense. If she doesn’t feel what she wants to feel from the relationship, the woman has no natural motivation to continue it. And since those often unpleasant conversations introduce undesired feelings, from an emotional logic standpoint, it makes perfect sense to avoid it, hence the disappearing act. Embrace complements in lifeOnce we understand how they naturally think, it’s easier to understand why men and women need each other. It’s also easier to understand why modern feminism’s lie is just that — a lie. I presume the woman whose comment inspired this episode was frustrated with dating because she doesn’t understand the fundamentals of what’s she’s trying to do. Very few of us do when it comes to dating — that’s why I wrote a book about it. Frustration feels negative, so it makes emotional sense for the woman to retract. She then believes the lie she doesn’t need a man, swears off dating, and feels “liberated.” That positive emotion naturally motivates a woman to embrace that direction and even think it’s the “right” one. Only it’s not. Truly holistic intelligence is both intellectual and emotional. Truth makes sense to both components of intelligence, not just one. And this is why men and women need each other. Men best learn emotional intelligence with the help of women. Women best learn intellectual intelligence with the help of men. Only together do men and women best learn their naturally missing complement and become truly whole. Enjoy your dating moreOf course, men can be emotional and women can be intellectual. I’m simply stating the natural hardwiring inherent in our biology. And understanding that inherent biology can improve our dating journey. Dating frustrates many LDS singles who use the logic they inherently have instead of its complement. An approach grounded in the logic of the intended audience can bring better results. For example, some women get frustrated when men don’t seem impressed with their extra education. Status means quite a bit to the natural woman because of how it makes her feel. But it doesn’t mean anything to the natural man because it’s not rational to take care of a woman who can clearly take care of herself. I’m not saying women shouldn’t be educated. I’m simply saying approaches that consider the intended audience tend to bring better results than those that don’t. In the end, men and women need each other. Only with the help of the other can we each become more whole. So stop thinking solely in terms of your naturally endowed component of intelligence. Include in your life those of the opposite gender who can help you. When you open your thinking to embrace the complementary component, you’ll grow in your understanding of your life experiences. You’ll become more accepting of past failures and more resilient to future potential emotional disasters. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
That vote of no confidence really punched me in the gut. Initially I was in a daze, uncertain of my path forward. But as time lifted that fog, I began to gain some clarity and regain some perspective. If you feel that way, know that all is not lost. There’s always hope because there’s always Christ. That hope says you can change for the better. And you can keep that optimism when you treat every day like it’s your birthday. Live like a kidAt my age, birthdays just don’t seem as special to me as they did when I was a kid. I’ve been there, done that, got the shirt and the hat, plus I chair the membership committee. (Would you like to join? We have jackets!) And that’s part of the problem. Something about becoming an adult sacrifices that childhood perspective of optimism and possibility on the altar of pessimistic reality. We’re more prone to point out barriers to justify why we won’t or can’t achieve than to believe that achievement is possible and look for a way to overcome the obstacle. We also lose the joy of childhood. The adult perspective is so often serious. Kids naturally approach their day looking for fun. They don’t worry much beyond the present; they live in the moment. Certainly there are times when we need to buckle down and do some serious work. But we could all benefit from introducing an element of fun into what we do and living in the moment. That’s what birthdays are all about for kids. They get absorbed in enjoying the moment. If we lived life like a kid, maybe some of our obstacles would disappear because our overly serious perspective that created them would be gone. Treat each day specialTreating every day like it’s your birthday also recognizes the special gift each day really is. Too often we go through our days playing out habits that carry us from one moment to the next. And that lull of life lacks the joy each day can and does bring. That’s why a life on autopilot will never lead you to your best life. There’s nothing to savor in simply going through the motions. Very often, we go through those motions without any awareness of what we’re doing. That’s how we’re biologically hardwired to operate. Treating every day like it’s your birthday breaks you out of that mold. Because it’s not something you normally do, it doesn’t conform to routine or habit, which takes what you do out of the shadows and into the light of awareness. Being fully aware of what you’re doing does two things: (1) It opens you to the joy to be found in each moment of living, and (2) it increases your sensitivity to possibilities, allowing for creativity in finding solutions to overcome obstacles. Overcome your current challengesApplying these ideas to my current challenge, I can see a path ahead. I need to find someone knowledgeable I can trust to give me objective counsel and help me construct a plan going forward. And strangely I feel excited about that. Treating today like it’s my birthday brought me there. I’m looking for the joy instead of wallowing in the mire of misery. I’m embracing optimism in a brighter future that I can forge. I’m opening myself to the hope that always is because Christ always is. I’m tempering the responsibilities of adulthood with the perspectives of childhood. So treat every day like it’s your birthday. You’ll invite yourself to open more to possibility. You’ll do more to take care of yourself. You’ll experience more creativity as you embrace more optimism. And you’ll live your life more hopeful of the future that has you living your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
StopThe changes we’re all looking for in our lives are just that — changes. Nothing in your life will change until you change. That means you need to stop doing what you’re doing so you can do something different. Stopping is the first meaningful step in meaningful change. Even if you do nothing more than stop to question whether or not you’re moving the right direction, you’ll never change if you keep doing the same thing over and over. Yet that’s what most people do. They say they want a different life, but then they keep doing the same things over and over. And because they keep doing the same things over and over, they keep getting the same results over and over. Their autopilot lives keep them in a state of limbo equilibrium. And they’ll continue to play out that cycle until they stop. Turn Direction determines destination, so once you’ve stopped taking your life in an undesired direction, you need to turn and adjust your course in a desired direction. That may sound simplistic, but it isn’t. And here’s why. How do you know what direction will lead to the best destination? More times than not, you won’t. This is where partnering with the Lord comes in. It’s also where I learned how deviating from your intended purpose could actually lead you to achieve it. Sometimes we need to give up what we think is best for us in order to take what really is best for us. The last episode is a case in point. I thought the best direction to take the program was seeking direction from the Lord when setting goals. That’s not bad. But neither was it best. The best direction was the one the program took. We need to accept direction from the Lord in our dating journey, especially when it comes to deciding who we date. And we need to embrace the Lord’s direction to date those who, left to our own devices, we’d rather not date. We need to do the same thing in our lives. Once we stop doing what we’ve been doing, we need to turn to the Lord with a willingness to go in whatever direction He’ll lead us, even if that direction appears to take us away from the destination we want. I stress the word appears because that’s what it often is — an appearance, an illusion. If the direction comes from the Lord, how could it not ultimately lead us to the best destination, the one where we’ll be the happiest we could possibly be? Act Once we get that direction from the Lord, all that remains is execution. We’ll never get to any destination unless we take the steps that lead there. Results in any endeavor come from one thing and one thing only, and that is action. The results you get are also commensurate with the action you take. No results comes from taking no action. Poor results come from taking poor action. Good results come from taking good action. To arrive at the best destination, you need to take the action that will take you there. That action most likely follows this sequence: Stop what you’re doing, turn to the Lord, and act under His direction. Partner with Him for your life. Consider the changes you want in your life, changes you’ve tried to make but continually escape you time and time again. Then stop, turn, and act. When you partner with the Lord, you’ll find yourself making more progress towards your best life. And you’ll find yourself growing as you learn what your best life really is. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Starting with gratitude simply promotes an extra portion of power. That’s especially true of giving. Indeed, true giving begins with gratitude. As we discussed recently, the more grateful you are, the more you will have, and the more you have, the more you can give. You can truly light the world when with gratitude you share your gifts from God with others. Reflect on unique giftsWe often think of gifts being highly prized and desirable attributes or skills. So it’s not that surprising when some of us who don’t have those highly prized and desirable attributes or skills feel we don’t have any gifts. That’s of course not true. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from. Everyone has gifts from God. We all have talent for something. When we exercise our talents, executing the necessary action just seems to flow more easily, even if we lack specific training. God gave talents to everyone so we all can contribute positively to others’ lives. I’m convinced we each have multiple talents from God. Often, they aren’t what we’d think of as talents. I once knew a sister missionary whose smile was so infectious you couldn’t help but feel a little better when her smile shone upon you. Another friend was a really good listener. We don’t normally think of smiling and listening as talents, and yet I would submit they qualify. What talents do you have from God? What gifts has He given you that make your contribution to the lives of others unique? Reflect on those gifts for a moment and simmer in gratitude for them. Reflect on common giftsOf course, we share some gifts from God in common. Again, I don’t care who you are or where you are from. God has blessed each of us not only with gifts unique to each one of us but also with gifts we share in common. The first such gift is the greatest gift of God — the gift of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season precisely because He is the greatest gift. Through Him, we all have the opportunity to repent and to live forever with God and those we most love. Through Him we all have the power to acquire the fulness of not just our spiritual potential but every other potential as well, be that emotional, intellectual, or physical. Unfortunately, that gift too often goes unappreciated, as does the second greatest gift from God — agency. Every moment, we get to choose for ourselves what we’ll think, say, and do — and with that what we’ll become. Between our Advocate with the Father and our agency, we have the essentials to become our best selves, live our best life, and achieve the fulness of our potential. Yet too often we don’t even consider these gifts as the gateways to greatness they are. Don’t let that be you. Take a moment to reflect and meditate on these wonderful gifts and the opportunities they make possible in your life. Marinade your soul in gratitude for your gifts from God. Share gratitude with othersBut it’s not just enough to feel gratitude. You must share it as well! Otherwise, the circle won’t be complete. What does that mean? Gratitude is an emotion for what has come into your life. You then decide what you will send out to others. What you send out will come back to you again, even when that something is nothing; if you send nothing out, you won’t get anything back again. But when you send out something — say, gratitude, for instance — you will find it later returned to you. Whatever your gifts from God, take time to reflect on them, feel gratitude for them, and then share that gratitude with others. You’ll find more reason to celebrate the season while moving yourself closer to becoming your best self and living your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
But then as I thought about it, I began to see I needed to see this differently. I’m not knocking the Light the World calendar. If you want to do that, that’s great. I just think I need to focus more on what I can give than on what I have received. I think I need to be that shining star for someone else rather than showcase what someone else has been for me. See your full potential Yeah, I get it. Like I said, I’m not knocking the Light the World calendar or anything like that. It’s all good and, like I said, if you want to do it, then do it. There’s a lot of good that can come from that. But when I turn the consideration away from what others have done or will do and towards what I will do, I feel I need a different focus. It’s not hard for me to see that producing Joy in the Journey Radio has helped me undergo a transformation. I’m not the same man I was last year, and next year I won’t be the same man I am this year. What’s happened? What’s changed? And what’s driven that change? I think the essence of it is simply that I’m becoming more of the man that God wants me to be. And that man is a man who spends his days serving others, helping others, and inspiring others to become the men and women God wants them to be. I think that man is a man devoted to helping others along the covenant path of eternal progression. And when I say that, I’m not just talking about the spiritual. I’m talking about the total package — the physical, the emotional, and the mental/intellectual as well as the spiritual. That’s because I think God wants each of us to become the total package. Understand the bigger pictureDon’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting we all become identical clones of some unrealistic ideal. Your total package may not be the same as my total package. But your total package represents the fulfillment of your potential just as my total package represents the fulfillment of my potential. And that’s really the whole idea behind why we’re here. The whole intent of our Heavenly Father’s plan is for us to achieve the fullness of our potential. Coming here to this fallen mortal world and having experiences in mortality allow us to take important steps along that path towards achieving our full potential. That’s what the covenant path of eternal progression really is. That’s what becoming the total package really is. It’s all just a series of steps that each help us to become more of that man or woman we can and should be. Truly light the worldI’m not going to become the man I can and should be unless I turn my focus to giving. I need to do more of what the man I can become would do in order to become that man. I need to be that shining star for others because that’s what the man I can and should become is. Again, I’m not knocking the Light the World calendar. And hey, if you really need to do that in order to become the man or woman you need to become, then I say go for it. Pour your whole self into it. Whatever your potential is for you, pour your whole self into it and embrace the transformation. For many of us, I think that transformation will come when we decide to be the shining star for others. When we decide to hold up our light, others are both inspired to come out of the dark and given permission to hold up their own light. When they do, that will inspire others and give them permission to do the same. When we each decide to be the shining star we need to be, we can truly light the world. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
I’ve felt free like I haven’t felt in quite some time. I still have lots to do, and I still don’t know how I’m going to accomplish it all. But I feel as though I have more than enough time to do everything needful, even though I did the math and know the numbers don’t fit. It’s a great blessing from the Lord, and I realize my choice to chase purpose, not proof, paved the way for my blessings. Commit to purpose Part of the difficulty I wrestled last week was feeling I needed to do more than time would allow. Meeting with my advisor helped resolve that by providing some clarity around exactly what effort was needed. And I felt the Lord’s guiding and supporting hand. But the floodgates of feeling truly free and empowered opened only after I committed to my purpose. Don’t get me wrong. I committed to my PhD program back when I gave up my employment, got rid of two thirds of my belongings, moved the remaining third clear across the country, and accepted a lower standard of living — all to pursue a step towards my dream job. But I hadn’t committed myself completely. I was busy with so many different things, all of them valuable but not all of them conducive to my commitment. Complete commitment is always reflected in completely prioritized time pursuing it. Once I made that complete commitment in how I would spend my time, that’s when freedom swept over me. That’s when I felt I had the time I needed to do what was needed. That’s when I felt I could truly achieve my potential. Align with happinessToo many never do that. Even if they have a purpose they say they pursue, they aren’t really chasing after it. Instead, they chase after proof. By proof, I mean evidence they’re accepted. They devote more time and energy to acquiring validation and belonging than to any life purpose. And by going off the path of their purpose, they go off the path of their potential. We all have a deep-seated need for acceptance. We all want to belong, and we all want to be loved. There’s nothing wrong with those desires. But there is something wrong with not prioritizing your potential. And here’s what’s wrong with it. You’re leaving happiness on the table. You think you’re chasing happiness, but you’ll never capture it by seeking to have something. Happiness isn’t about having; it’s about giving. Happiness is giving your all to all the right things for you. And one of those right things is achieving your potential. Pursue your potentialLet’s look at an example. What do typical LDS singles do with their time, especially the time they aren’t compelled to do anything? Many spend their so-called “free time” consuming content or soaking in social media, looking for love and belonging, pursuing proof not purpose. Happiness doesn’t come from having that special someone or having social media likes or indeed having anything. Happiness isn’t about having; it’s about giving. That’s why pursuing your potential is linked to happiness. The more of your potential you achieve, the more you have to give and the more happy you can be. And you maximize your happiness by committing completely to your purpose, a commitment you demonstrate with the time you devote to that commitment. So take a look at how you spend your time and make adjustments where needed. Chase purpose, not proof. You’ll find yourself feeling more free and more connected with the Lord. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Everything works that way. We all dream of having our best life, but to have that life, you must pay a price in faith, diligence, patience, and longsuffering in daily doing the small acts that over time will aggregate into a harvest of success. Most people don’t do that because it’s hard. But that’s precisely why it’s worth doing. With great diligence, you can have the positive changes you want in your life. Diligent in faith Success isn’t complicated. Do the right things day after day, and eventually you get what you want. But like the seed in Alma’s parable, you don’t reap a harvest overnight. And that’s probably the hardest part of achieving success. We all have changes we want in our lives. But taking action day after day and not seeing the results you want can wear you down. Many quit the fight too soon. Because only action produces results, quitting the fight means taking no action, which means getting no results. So what can keep you in the fight when it gets hard? Alma provides an answer. He mentions diligence, but first he mentions faith. And that’s what can pull you through. With a vision of your life after you pay your price for what you want, you can keep on keeping on. I’ve used that in my PhD program. As I’ve felt the challenge increase, I remember teaching as an adjunct and relive how good it felt to work my dream job. My faith that overcoming my present difficulty will get me closer to the result I seek drives me through the difficulty. So it is with anything in life. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is really the other side of the mountain and not an oncoming train can help you push forward no matter how bleak your present position. Diligent in patience As you push on in the darkness of the moment, the difficulty separating you from your desired best life isn’t just in doing what’s needed everyday but also in having to wait for results to materialize. We all want results on our schedule, and our schedule often screams now. So it’s not surprising Alma, to faith and diligence, adds patience. It takes patience to nourish a seed into maturity. Part of the price you’ll pay for what you want is in patience. You must take the small steps required day after day, continually putting forth effort with faith those results will come, especially when they don’t come instantly. Faith helps me have patience, but so does celebrating small wins. Recognizing a victory, no matter how small, helps me feel I’m making progress and moving closer to my best life. Having patience in the overall journey and not just the task before me also helps. When one approach fails, I don’t lose hope. I have faith the approach I need exists, and I keep searching with the determination to do so until I find the approach that will work for me. Diligent in longsuffering That attitude necessitates a lot of trial and error, which requires longsuffering. Often you must pay your price over a long time without seeing desired results. Little wonder Alma includes longsuffering in his parable of the seed. Suffering must be endured; it makes your harvest much more precious. But suffering doesn’t mean you must be miserable. You can have sincere joy while suffering if you strengthen your faith and focus on the blessings and opportunities along your way. Whatever positive changes you want can be yours if you pay in full and in advance the price you must pay. That requires diligence in doing the small daily actions that over time will accumulate into your success. But you also need faith to see the glory awaiting you, patience to allow the natural workings of the universe to operate, and longsuffering to endure well the time before results come. With those three attributes married to diligence, you can make whatever positive change you want. You can have your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
But I also had a conversation with my PhD advisor, who wants to see much more out of me. That experience led me to reflect on what I have in my life and more importantly why. Reassessing the different elements in my life somehow brought me to President Nelson’s remarks from the last General Conference entitled “Make Time for the Lord.” In this address, President Nelson shared three ways in which we can make time for the Lord. Focus on the Savior The first time we should make for the Lord is to fix our focus on Christ. President Nelson declared, “Nothing invites the Spirit more than fixing your focus on Jesus Christ. Talk of Christ, rejoice in Christ, feast upon the words of Christ, and press forward with steadfastness in Christ.” In my recent reflections, I’ve wondered how much of my focus is fixed on Christ. How often do I talk of Him? How often do I rejoice in Him? How often do I feast upon His words? How often do I feel the determination to press forward with steadfastness in Him? I’ve focused my scripture study this year on success and the path to prosperity. My study hasn’t yet concluded, but it’s already abundantly clear lasting prosperity comes as God’s blessing upon those who embrace true principles. This conclusion encourages us to follow the Prophet’s counsel to fix our focus on Christ. Later this month I’ll pivot my scripture study towards my annual tradition of studying the Sermon on the Mount to increase my discipleship. I’ve discussed this practice before on the program, and I expect it once more to increase the fixation of my focus on Christ. All are welcome to join me, but whether or not you do, find some way increase your focus on the Savior. Delight in the Sabbath The second time President Nelson encouraged us to make for the Lord is to delight in the Sabbath day. He taught, “Make your Sabbath a delight as you worship Him, partake of the sacrament, and keep His day holy.” Consider that teaching. The Sabbath is a delight when we make it one. How do you make your Sabbaths feel delightful? Do they feel delightful to you? You can use that question to gauge how well you keep the Sabbath. The more delightful the Sabbath feels to you, the better you keep the day. And no matter how delightful the Sabbath feels to you, there’s always another level you can reach. Obviously you can feel more delight in your Sabbath if you don’t feel any. But if you do feel delight in your Sabbath, you can feel more. So the question is this: Are your Sabbath day activities what they should be? Or do you need to change something? Connect with the temple The third time the Prophet pleaded us to make for the Lord concerns temples. President Nelson taught, “Please make time for the Lord in His holy house. Nothing will strengthen your spiritual foundation like temple service and temple worship.” Because my nearest temple has yet to reopen, I currently need to travel some distance to attend the temple. And so I’ve been meaning to get more into family history work in preparation for when my temple reopens. I say meaning to because I’ve done nothing more than occasionally dabble. Clearly the Prophet is calling me to repentance. And with that call comes an invitation to extend the Prophet’s admonition to every area of life. With all my responsibilities and everything in my life, am I making enough time for the Lord? We could each ask ourselves that question. If you haven’t considered it lately, I invite you to make time to consider it. In the end, if you haven’t made time for Christ, it won’t matter what you made time for. So make time for the Lord. When we make the time to consider what time we are making for what matters most, we can more easily connect with what matters most. In that way we can establish a better balance in life. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
Why we wear masksMasks conceal one’s true identity, allowing that person to act differently without incurring the consequences of having those different actions connected with one’s reputation. That’s why Batman wears a mask — to protect those he cares about from his enemies who would harm them to get to him. That’s not necessarily nefarious. That allows a freedom that couldn’t be found with concern over the consequences of one’s actions. And that’s the key: concern over consequences. You need the mask so others won’t connect what you do with your reputation. But if you were willing to accept whatever consequences came from your actions, you wouldn’t need the mask. You could simply live as you would while others have full view of who you really are. We naturally shy away from such circumstances. We all have a deep-seated need to belong, and it’s easier to belong when you do what everyone around you does — or what everyone around you expects you to do. Wearing a mask allows you have one identity you present to others so you conform to their expectations while in reality holding a different identity that would incur consequences from others if only they knew about that different identity. The application to self I’m not suggesting all masks are bad. Who doesn’t like Batman? I’m just saying we need to concern ourselves with how we use masks. We need to understand what we’re really doing with the masks we choose to wear. We need to live with intention. As I apply that principle to myself, I see the need to put away a mask I’ve been wearing for myself. I’ve thought of myself as a solid performer in my work, someone who always delivers. But recent experience suggests otherwise. I may have never failed to deliver in a previous time, but times have changed. What happened? I’m not entirely certain. I think part of it is my singleness. Without needing to perform at a higher level needed to support a family, it’s been easier to accept performing at a lower level while maintaining within my psyche an identity that differs from reality. I’ve been wearing a mask so I can feel better about myself. This is one mask I don’t need to wear, because wearing it means living a lie. It’s better to live in truth and embrace who I really am, an imperfect man who experiences setbacks but who also has the potential to rise above those setbacks and conquer whatever challenge lies before him. Embracing that truth means true freedom, because that embrace allows me to live without concern for the consequences of others seeing me as I truly am. Living life in truthWhat masks do you wear? Have you established for yourself a space of false security so that others will think about you in a certain way or so that you can feel good about yourself? How about having others think about you in that way because you really are that way? How about feeling good about yourself by embracing who you really are? Many of us wear a mask we shouldn’t be wearing. Let’s embrace changes in ourselves so we can really see ourselves as we should be, or let’s embrace our actual self as our ideal. Acquiring and maintaining that match produces self-esteem. Combine that with living with intention, and you’re on your way to your best life. Leave the mask alone. Embrace the freedom that comes from embracing truth. You’ll feel better about yourself, better your life, and better about your future. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
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Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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