Leave the mask alone

. . . it’s better to reveal ourselves and live before others as we truly are.  It’s better to leave the mask alone.

I’ve been trying to get into the Halloween spirit, but it’s just not happening this year.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe I’m too stressed with the demands of this semester.  Maybe I’m worried about reaching my goals to make positive changes in my life.

Whatever the reason, my reflections thereon have meandered towards my recent performance.  Recently I’ve missed some deadlines for my research.  Years ago I never failed to deliver, so what’s happened?  I’ve been thinking of myself in one way but in reality being another.

In the context of the current season, I realize I’ve been wearing a mask.  And I’m not alone.  Many of us wear a mask.  We pretend to ourselves we’re one way and may even perform for others.  But eventually a moment always comes when we confront the truth.  We see ourselves as we really are.  And sometimes we’re not alone in that moment.  Rather than hide behind the comfort of our mask and risk being revealed before others, it’s better to reveal ourselves and live before others as we truly are.  It’s better to leave the mask alone.

Why we wear masks

Masks conceal one’s true identity, allowing that person to act differently without incurring the consequences of having those different actions connected with one’s reputation.  That’s why Batman wears a mask — to protect those he cares about from his enemies who would harm them to get to him.

That’s not necessarily nefarious.  That allows a freedom that couldn’t be found with concern over the consequences of one’s actions.  And that’s the key: concern over consequences.  You need the mask so others won’t connect what you do with your reputation.  But if you were willing to accept whatever consequences came from your actions, you wouldn’t need the mask.  You could simply live as you would while others have full view of who you really are.

We naturally shy away from such circumstances.  We all have a deep-seated need to belong, and it’s easier to belong when you do what everyone around you does — or what everyone around you expects you to do.  Wearing a mask allows you have one identity you present to others so you conform to their expectations while in reality holding a different identity that would incur consequences from others if only they knew about that different identity.

---

The application to self

I’m not suggesting all masks are bad.  Who doesn’t like Batman?  I’m just saying we need to concern ourselves with how we use masks.  We need to understand what we’re really doing with the masks we choose to wear.  We need to live with intention.

As I apply that principle to myself, I see the need to put away a mask I’ve been wearing for myself.  I’ve thought of myself as a solid performer in my work, someone who always delivers.  But recent experience suggests otherwise.  I may have never failed to deliver in a previous time, but times have changed.

What happened?  I’m not entirely certain.  I think part of it is my singleness.  Without needing to perform at a higher level needed to support a family, it’s been easier to accept performing at a lower level while maintaining within my psyche an identity that differs from reality.  I’ve been wearing a mask so I can feel better about myself.

This is one mask I don’t need to wear, because wearing it means living a lie.  It’s better to live in truth and embrace who I really am, an imperfect man who experiences setbacks but who also has the potential to rise above those setbacks and conquer whatever challenge lies before him.  Embracing that truth means true freedom, because that embrace allows me to live without concern for the consequences of others seeing me as I truly am.

---

Living life in truth

What masks do you wear?  Have you established for yourself a space of false security so that others will think about you in a certain way or so that you can feel good about yourself?  How about having others think about you in that way because you really are that way?  How about feeling good about yourself by embracing who you really are?

Many of us wear a mask we shouldn’t be wearing.  Let’s embrace changes in ourselves so we can really see ourselves as we should be, or let’s embrace our actual self as our ideal.  Acquiring and maintaining that match produces self-esteem.  Combine that with living with intention, and you’re on your way to your best life.

Leave the mask alone.  Embrace the freedom that comes from embracing truth.  You’ll feel better about yourself, better your life, and better about your future.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

---

You can listen to the monologue for this episode of Joy In The Journey Radio for free by using the player here.  Feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment. Find out how to listen to all of this episode of Joy in the Journey Radio (as well as other full episodes) by going to the show page for this episode!  Alternatively, you can watch the full episode on the Joy in the Journey Radio YouTube channel.