You really are beautiful

You can’t choose for others, but you can choose for yourself.  And when you learn three important lessons, you can more easily see that you really are beautiful.

Our modern world is obsessed with sensuality.  You don’t have to look very far to see it.  Media from magazines to online videos all highlight physically attractive people.  How they dress and hold themselves sends a very clear message: You must be sexy to be loved.

It’s easy to look at the world around us and condemn it.  It’s much harder but necessary to look within and condemn ourselves.  Many singles do exactly what the world around them does.  Their words and actions send a clear message: You must be sexy to be loved.

How does this happen?  When singles congregate for activities or any other function, many interact only with those they find attractive.  The messages these actions send demoralize the lonely and ignored.  These people feel the burden of being unloved.

You’ll never see me on the cover of GQ Magazine, so I’m familiar with that burden.  But rather than criticize others, I want to focus our attention inwards at ourselves.  You can’t choose for others, but you can choose for yourself.  And when you learn three important lessons, you can more easily see that you really are beautiful.

Interpret others more appropriately

The first lesson took me years to learn.  But once I got it, what a difference it made!  After all, how you think about yourself largely contributes to how you portray yourself to others.

Most people believe the actions of others reflect their identity.  When someone summarily dismisses you, it’s easy to believe it’s because you don’t have any value.  Those who believe this fallacy can easily disparage themselves into depression.

But what others say or do doesn’t reflect your identity but rather your effort.  If people are passing you by, it’s not because you don’t have value but rather because you don’t offer value.  Offering is a choice, one we all can make.  Focusing on what you can do rather than on what you lack always produces a more positive reality.

True, not everyone will respond positively to your offering.  Some simply won’t see any value in it.  But that just means they’re visually impaired.  What will you do to help them see?  Again, focusing on what you can do produces a more positive reality.

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See as God sees

Perhaps the most important choice you can make to help others see your value is to learn to see as God sees.  I’ve been learning this lesson over many years, and I’m still learning.  But what I have learned so far has improved my life tremendously.

What do you think God sees when He looks at you?  We’ve all heard“the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10).  But why is that?  What does He really see when He looks at you?

He sees potential.  His sight isn’t confined to the moment, as our sight often is.  He sees not just what we are today or even what we were yesterday but we can be tomorrow.  Too often, especially when we’re discouraged, we aren’t looking forward to our potential but rather behind to what we were.  We tell ourselves so often the lie about our past determining our future that we believe it.  If only we could see as God sees!

That’s not likely to happen without partnering with the Lord.  When you let Him guide your feet, He can also guide your eyes.  We see a marvelous example in Enoch, who initially didn’t see very much in himself (Moses 6:31).  But the Lord helped him to see more clearly (Moses 6:35-36), and the result was mountains moved and rivers turned from their course (Moses 7:13).  Just as He helped Enoch see his potential, the Lord will help you see yours when you partner with Him.

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Love yourself

Loving yourself will also help you see that potential.  You know yourself better than most people, so they’ll simply take their cues about you from you.  If you’re discouraged about yourself, then most people will follow that lead.

Conversely, if you’re care about you, then most people will follow that lead.  When you demonstrate through your actions that you’re worth something, most people will also think you’re worth something and act accordingly.  Again, people respond not to who you are but rather to what you do.  And you choose what you do.

So choose to learn the lessons that reveal your true beauty.  Learn to interpret others more appropriately, see yourself as God sees you, and love yourself.  In learning those lessons, you’ll come to see you really are beautiful.  You’ll release yourself from an unnecessary burden of despair and depression.  You’ll feel more hopeful and optimistic about your future.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

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You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.