Joy In The Journey Radio
  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 19 Oct 22
      • 12 Oct 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact

continue the conversation

Turn it around

8/8/2018

0 Comments

 
"Clearly we see the problem in how singles view activities, but the problem will never be solved unless we take action.  But exactly what action is anyone supposed to take?  . . . What can be done to turn around a local singles group so that people choose the support network over the dating forum and the activities club?  That's the very question I’m going to answer right now."
Picture
After church on Sunday, a member of the stake high council asked me if I were going to attend the singles activity later that day.  I confided that I haven't been attending because I don't feel welcome.  Why should I dress up in a stuffy shirt and tie to sit on benches that aren't that comfortable only to be all alone?  I can wear a T-shirt and sweat pants on my couch and be just as alone but far more comfy.  So why go?

In the ensuing conversation, I learned that he recognized the people hold the perspective of the dating forum.  I then shared with him some of what I’ve shared about the dating forum and the activity club many times in this forum.  We quickly came to agreement there, but then he simply repeated his invitation without any resolve to change anything.  I said I’d think about it.  Of course, I didn't go.

I did think about that conversation, though, during the following days.  Those thoughts led to an important realization: Clearly we see the problem in how singles view activities, but the problem will never be solved unless we take action.  But exactly what action is anyone supposed to take?  I’ve done this before and so know what to do.  But do my local leaders?  Based on the conversation I had Sunday, it doesn’t seem so.

What can be done to turn around a local singles group so that people choose the support network over the dating forum and the activities club?  That's the very question I’m going to answer right now.

Get buy-in from leadership

Picture
The first thing you need to do is get buy-in from leadership.  Nothing happens in this church unless leadership is on board.  So you've got to get the vision of the support network yourself.  And then you must sell that vision to leadership.

And by leadership, I mean both married and single members serving in leadership positions.  Everyone from the stake presidency to the high council to the bishopric to any singles leaders serving on both stake and ward levels must adopt the vision of the support network.  Anyone who thinks their responsibility is just to calendar activities doesn’t have the vision.  You've got to work with them until they adopt the support network.

You’ll know they have the vision when they start playing their part in the support network.  Those attending activities will actively greet and welcome everyone they can.  They'll talk to people, helping them feel somebody cares enough to be interested in them.  They'll also look for those sitting by themselves, offering to sit with them or inviting them to join a larger group seated together.

Get buy-in from the people

Picture
Once leadership is on board, you’ve got to secure buy-in from the people.  That means you instill the vision of the support network in every single adult so that they do the same things leaders do — connecting with people and helping them feel supported.

Too often we think those in leadership positions do things no one else does.  In some respects that's true, but more often than not, leadership is something everyone should display.  Leadership is a choice, not a position.

And leadership in spreading the vision of the support network is something every single adult should practice.  Otherwise, you'll never have the support network.  The arrangement of everybody helping everybody happens only when everyone reaches out to everyone.  It can't be just those in leadership positions.  Everyone has a part to play because everyone matters.

Accept nothing less than glory

Picture
Support networks take time to build because you must change the way people think.  And because we’re hardwired to follow habit, you're going to meet some resistance both from leaders who think their job is to do nothing more than plan activities and from singles who think in terms of the dating forum or the activities club.

That's why part of leadership’s role is to instill the vision of the support network in everyone.  You must tell people directly what you're trying to accomplish.  You must show them what can happen when everyone gets on board with the vision.  And you must invite them one by one to play their part in making that vision reality.

It won't be easy, and it will take time.  But it is possible.  I know because I’ve done it.  So be patient.  Keep working.  Love the people.  Accept nothing less than glory, and in time you’ll see the support network start to take hold.  You'll see people reaching out to each other.  You'll see the needs of people being met.  You’ll see that you can turn it around.  And you'll feel more of the Savior's love for one another.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode!
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

    Comment

    Joy in the Journey Radio encourages the free discussion of ideas but reserves the right to remove and/or block comments which do not conform to LDS standards.

    Donate

    Joy in the Journey Radio offers many free resources to help LDS singles everywhere, but it certainly isn't free!  Help Joy in the Journey Radio in its mission to improve the lives of LDS singles by donating today.

    Posts by Month

    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All
    Adrian Ochoa
    Agency
    Assumptions
    Atonement
    Attitude
    Attraction
    Autopilot
    Balance
    Becky Craven
    Believe
    Best Life
    Bradley R Wilcox
    Camille N Johnson
    Change The Culture
    Changing LDS Singles Culture
    Christ
    Christmas
    Clark G Gilbert
    Confidence
    Conscious Choices
    Covenant Mindset
    Dale G Renlund
    Dallin H Oaks
    Dating
    David A Bednar
    Depression
    Dieter F Uchtdorf
    Discipleship
    Donald L Hallstrom
    D Todd Christofferson
    Face To Face
    Faith
    Family
    Family History
    Fear
    Filters
    Finances
    Focus Determines Reality
    Full Life: Body
    Full Life: Heart
    Full Life: Mind
    Full Life: Spirit
    Future
    Gary E Stevenson
    General Conference
    Gerrit W Gong
    Goals
    Gordon B Hinckley
    Gratitude
    Habits
    Happiness
    Hope
    Jack Gerard
    Jean Bingham
    Jeffrey R Holland
    John A McCune
    John C Pingree Jr
    Journey
    Joy
    Leaders
    Legacy
    Life Of Meaning
    Live In The Moment
    Marriage
    Marrieds
    Michael A Dunn
    Michelle Craig
    Miracles
    M Russell Ballard
    Natural Mindset
    Neil Andersen
    Opportunity
    Own Your Life
    Partner With The Lord
    Peace
    Personal Ministry
    Perspective
    Philosophy
    Proclamation On The Family
    Quentin L Cook
    Real
    Reformat And Reboot
    Relationships
    Ronald Rasband
    Russell M Nelson
    Sacrament
    Self Talk
    Self-talk
    Service
    Sharon Eubank
    Stories
    Support
    Surrender To Love
    Susan H Porter
    Taylor G Godoy
    Temple
    Thinking
    Thomas S Monson
    Trials
    Unity
    Valentine's Day
    Vision
    Walk By Faith
    Yoon Hwan Choi
    Zion

    RSS Feed

Offerings

Home
Radio 4 LDS Singles
LDS Singles Blog
Books
Speaking
Recipes
Home-centered Church

Production

About
Staff

Support

FAQ
Volunteer
Donate
Contact
Joy in the Journey Radio is a production
of Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
© 2014-2022 Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 19 Oct 22
      • 12 Oct 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact