My mother has been diagnosed with anxiety as a mental illness. So hearing a General Authority — and an Apostle no less — openly embrace mental illness as the subject of his address needless to say piqued my curiosity.
But I also found some wise counsel that applies to many of us LDS singles.
Focusing on depression
Elder Holland mentions an array of mental disorders but then narrows his remarks to depression. He then quickly defines what he means by that word:
But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!
I think that this description applies very aptly to many LDS singles today. I saw it at a recent singles fireside held in my stake. Only a handful of people were in attendance, and I quickly ascertained why no more than a handful had made an appearance. Everyone seemed so discouraged as to be half dead! Ironically, the subject of that fireside was hope, and I freely admit that I left with most of my own hope and optimism stripped from me.
Fortunately, Elder Holland had very much the opposite effect.
Believe in miracles
I devote several parts of my upcoming book to this very subject. And I can sum it all up — there is always hope because there is always Christ. Elder Holland says no less.
Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.
Don't be afraid to ask for help
Elder Holland advises us to seek help when our problems persist.
If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.
We singles too often don’t ask for help. Maybe it’s because our leaders very often don’t understand what we experience, especially if they married while they were young. Or maybe it’s because we singles spend too much time focused on what we want that we remove ourselves from being able to help. If we filter everything through dating considerations, we won’t associate much if at all with those who aren’t “marriage material”. Very often those who need our help the most are those who we know the least, or those we want to know the least.
The sun is always shining
As much as the challenges of LDS singles life I've witnessed discourages me, I'm continually amazed at how optimistic I am for the future. So I'm glad that Elder Holland reminded us that
Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!
Sound familiar? Where have we heard that before? Oh, yes! You are not your circumstances!
It also reminds me of some of the weirdest weather I've ever experienced. I remember one day driving in Northern Idaho and suddenly encountering a blinding snowstorm. I had to slow down because the snow was coming down so thick and fast.
And yet the funny thing is I could see the sun shining at the same time!
Too often when difficulties come we see only the blizzard and how it obstructs us or makes our journey more difficult. Yet the sun is always shining. We can see it if we'll look for it. God still loves us, and we can feel that love more fully when we open ourselves to it.
Our focus becomes our reality, so when we focus on the storm, guess what our life feels like? But when we focus on the sunshine, guess how we feel then?
I love the way Conference messages intertwine with my life experiences to root me further in gospel truth. How thankful I am for Conference!
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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