One of the classic discourses for LDS singles is Elder Oaks’ 2003 fireside address about timing. Because the Lord really can make more out of our lives than we can, we need to accept His timetable for our blessings.
Many LDS singles rationalize inaction with that idea, and it annoys me. Many assume the Lord’s timing must not be right for them simply because they’re still single. They don’t dig deep enough to understand the truth of their lives.
Well-meaning leaders often counsel, “Just stay righteous and wait for the Lord.” Do we need do nothing more than maintain the standards? My own life experience proves that isn’t true, and the experiences of many other faithful LDS singles add to that testimony.
In all of this, something more seems missing. Let’s you and I dig deeper.
Give yourself to the right things
We all know what success in our road to marriage is. You choose the person who chooses you. Faced with that reality, when life doesn’t go as planned many simply say, “Well, it must not be the Lord’s timing.” Such a premature conclusion blinds them from digging deeper and finding real solutions to their real problem.
You have agency about everything in your life, which includes making you more attractive to your hoped for eternal companion.
Too many LDS singles use the concept of the Lord’s timing as a crutch to excuse themselves from further involvement in their own eternal progression. They simply keep the standards and then expect the Lord to deliver their desired companion through some magical event, as though righteousness alone earns them the right to their blessings.
The universe doesn’t work that way. If you want to reap the harvest, you must sow the seed for your desired harvest. Plenty of miserable people simply do the right things. How many LDS singles keep the standards and yet journey through life unfulfilled? Happiness is not about doing the right things but about giving your all to the right things.
There's more you can do
Without question the standards are some of those right things. But so is eliminating habits that encourage potential companions to decide against you.
So is changing the way you think so your approach to life broadcasts an attractive rather than repulsive energy.
So is conquering your fears holding you back from achieving your potential.
So is adopting a personal ministry, which makes you more attractive by the goodness you bring into the world.
So does partnering with the Lord so you can know what steps you need to take today to turn your life around and capture all the joy He wants you to have right now.
Rushing to conclude the Lord’s timing isn’t right just because you’re still single blinds you from seeing all the things that are right for you, thus robbing you of joy you can have in your journey everyday. No matter how much you’ve done, there’s always more you can do.
Partner with the Lord
Of course the Lord has His timetable for each of our lives. He knows not only what’s right but when it’s right. That’s why we need to partner with Him. When you do that, you’ll know when your time is. For the vast majority of LDS singles, that time is right now. We need to get busy giving our all to all the right things. That’s more than keeping the standards. It’s changing the way you think so you embrace a new way of being that makes you more attractive to your blessings.
That’s the real secret to marriage. It’s something you pursue indirectly, not directly. The agency of another person is involved. You can’t choose for others, only yourself. But choosing to make the right changes in you drastically increases the probability of someone you want wanting you. Partnering with the Lord will help you know what changes are best for you to make today that will attract a brighter tomorrow.
The Lord does have a right time for each of us to receive the blessings of eternal marriage. When you partner with the Lord, He’ll tell you what time is right for you. Unless the Lord has revealed to you your time really isn’t now, you’re choosing to be single when you use the concept of the Lord’s timing to justify your own inaction. For the vast majority of LDS singles, the Lord’s timing is now. We then need to get busy giving our all to all the right things for us.
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and now I produce a weekly radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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