Two weeks ago I encouraged believing the Lord’s promises with the innocence of a child. When such belief truly lives within you, you’ll know you don’t need romance for your life to be joyful and meaningful.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive toward eternal blessings. It just means you don’t need to wait to be happy.
It’s not in God’s character to deny you the blessings He promises. Believing He blesses you everyday with what you need and that He’s actively working to provide you even more blessings invigorates the soul with hope in a bright and glorious future in mortality and not just in eternity. Truly, there is always hope because there is always Christ.
Yet true belief compels you to work for your success, just as God is also working for your success. In fact, you can’t continue feeling positive without continuing to do something positive. Inaction slowly starves belief.
Action feeds belief. That’s why once you truly believe God loves you so much you can’t avoid having a wonderful future, you need to take the next step to keep that belief alive in you.
Change how you define opportunity
We should all actively pursue every essential ordinance and covenant we lack while remaining true to the ones we have. No true disciple of Christ would accept anything less.
At the same time, we need to change our thinking about what opportunity is. The Lord brings us all countless possibilities for eternal companionship, yet many of us dismiss those possibilities while at the same time praying the Lord will bring us possibilities. How ridiculous is that!
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting we lower our standards for eternal marriage. I am suggesting we lower and even eliminate many of our filters for dating. We often put way more seriousness on the front end of the journey than appropriate.
That’s why I distinguish casual dating (multiple partners and commitment ending with the date activity) from exclusive dating (only one partner and commitment extending beyond any date activity). This distinction lowers our expectations of commitment in the early days of dating. And that helps us accept more of the opportunities the Lord provides for us.
Change how you look for opportunity
We also need to change our thinking about how opportunity will come to us. Most singles think their eternal companion is either at a singles activity or online on social media or a dating website. While good options, they’re far from the only ones.
Opportunity can find you anywhere, but not if you’re hiding. You can’t take advantage of opportunities you don’t see. Wearing blindfolds limits your probability of success.
Again, I’m not suggesting you lower your standards. I am suggesting you expand your vision to include less traditional avenues. The more open you are to those avenues, the more easily opportunities can cross your path, increasing your probability of success.
And the older you are, the more imperative it is to include those avenues in your approach.
Change how you experience opportunity
Finally, we need to change our thinking about how opportunity will unfold. Too many of us expect to be out-of-this-world impressed with a first date (or even well before that ever takes place). That’s so not how marriage works.
Go ahead and rant all you want about how this is eternity we’re talking about to justify your position. Expecting perfection right from the start serves more to keep you single precisely because no one — yourself included — is perfect from the start of any relationship.
Again, I’m not suggesting you lower your standards. I am suggesting you adjust your expectations of how those standards will be met.
The point is not to find someone who’s already perfect but rather someone who’s good enough to help you grow into perfection together. That’s something you can ascertain only after spending some significant time to make a more fair assessment of that person’s potential as your companion.
A personal ministry opens you to opportunity
We’ll lose any changes in our thinking without supportive action. Your best support is your personal ministry.
A personal ministry helps you see more of what opportunity is by exposing you to more opportunity. You’ll increase your probability of success by allowing more chances for opportunity to cross your path. And your personal ministry faces you with the imperfections of others every day, helping you lower your expectations of perfection in a companion.
Take the next step in your journey home. Change your thinking about opportunity and adopt a personal ministry today. I can’t tell you when you’ll get the blessings the Lord has promised when you adopt a personal ministry, but I can say your journey between now and then will be much more enjoyable when you do.
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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