See with Johnny Lingo eyes

. . . we can make more progress in our dating journey when we see with Johnny Lingo eyes.

The other day I did something I haven’t done in a long time.  I watched the classic LDS film Johnny Lingo.  If you haven’t seen this 25-minute film from 1969, I just don’t know how you could be a real Latter-day Saint.  Yeah, the film is that classic.

Now, it’s 1969, so the film is definitely dated.  What then makes it so classic?  I think it’s the message.  The theme of what we think of ourselves playing into the quality of our lives is just timeless.  Here we see Mahana, a young woman with low self esteem.  Everyone mocks her for being ugly, and she doesn’t doubt it.  But Johnny Lingo, the shrewdest trader in the islands, seeks Mahana for his wife.  He pays a dowry larger than any can remember, marries Mahana, and then leaves with her on their honeymoon.  When they return, everyone marvels at how beautiful Mahana is.  And she doesn’t doubt it.

As I watched the film again recently, I couldn’t help but think about dating.  Johnny Lingo saw in Mahana something no one else saw.  Where everyone else saw an ugly woman worthy of mockery, Johnny Lingo saw a woman so beautiful everyone would remember her as such forever.  The obvious parallels to dating invite us to see others as they could be and not just as they are.  And indeed, we can make more progress in our dating journey when we see with Johnny Lingo eyes.

Exercise your influence

Perhaps the most important dating lesson here is the influence we have over our own dating journey.  What we think of ourselves truly makes the biggest difference.

Many LDS singles think other people determine their progress in dating.  I used to be one of those, but not any more.  Now that I understand my influence over the choices others make, I no longer have the victim mentality that once drove me to blame others for why I’m single.

Johnny Lingo certainly didn’t have a victim mentality.  He could have easily chosen to court another woman.  All the single women in the island village had their eyes on him.  And Mahana thought so poorly of herself she preferred hiding in a tree over facing her suitor.

But Mahana changed her tune after Johnny Lingo exercised his influence.  He didn’t make her change how she thought of herself.  Rather, he invited her to do so by thinking better himself of her and acting in accordance with that perspective.  He exercised his agency to influence others to choose in his favor.  That’s a powerful lesson we can apply in our own dating journey.

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Walk beside them

Johnny Lingo saw in Mahana the beautiful woman she really was.  And he helped her to see that for herself so she could release that beauty for all to see.  He truly walked with her.

So often in dating, we look at potential prospects solely as what they are today.  We then assume they’ll always be that way and judge accordingly.  And we certainly don’t do anything to help others become what they could be.  It’s much easier to reject them then walk with them towards their potential.

That wasn’t Johnny Lingo’s attitude.  If he’d taken that approach and viewed Mahana as the ugly woman everyone else saw, he’d have chased after some other woman in the village.  But Johnny Lingo saw Mahana as she could be.  And he walked by her side to help her get there.  In the end, that approach resulted in his wife being the most desirable woman on the island.

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Adjust your vision

What if we took that approach to dating?  What if we started seeing each other with Johnny Lingo eyes?  How different would dating be for us?

Instead of seeing people as they are now, try seeing people as they could become and asking, “If this person were to achieve his or her potential, how attractive of a prospect would he or she be then?”  Johnny Lingo didn’t judge Mahana based on what she presented before he married her.  He judged her based on what he knew she could become, and he helped he get there.  That’s what he married, not the ugly girl hiding in a tree, but the beautiful woman who would elicit the admiration of all who saw her.

We LDS singles need to adopt this approach in dating.  We need to see with Johnny Lingo eyes.  When we do, we’ll see more opportunity all around us.  We’ll make more progress in our dating efforts.  And we’ll enjoy both our single and our married lives more.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

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