Joy In The Journey Radio
  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 9 Nov 22
      • 2 Nov 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact

continue the conversation

My philosophy

1/1/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Welcome to the new home for my blog.

It all started back in 2012 — 12/12/12 to be exact.  I couldn’t let the opportunity to start something on a date like that pass me by.  Little did I know that my first year would be training for what you see today.  And I’ve changed along the way.  Now that my blog has a new home and we’re starting a new year, I thought it only fitting that I establish a few expectations.  This first post may turn out to be the longest post I make, so if you aren’t comfy, now is a good time to get there.

First, it's not about me.

When I started my blog, I had some ideas that needed expression.  Many of those ideas were in a book about LDS singles that I've been working on since January 2011.  In researching how best to publicize the book, I found the ubiquitous advice to start a blog and use it to promote the book.

But that doesn’t work for me.

See, I started with that idea.  And I found along the way that it led me to make everything about me.  I felt the tendency to make outrageous comments to drive more traffic or to write for search engine robots to increase page ranking.  But things like that don’t matter.  It’s people that matter, and it's relationships with people that matter most.

That’s why I started writing my book in the first place.

It’s a longer story that I can share later if you’re interested.  Bottom line = I wanted to create something that would help the growing LDS singles population confront and conquer the challenges of LDS singles life.

So I’m turning conventional wisdom on its head.

Writers use blogs as marketing tools to promote books.  To me, that’s all backwards.  I intend my book to support the blog.  And I see the blog as a platform for changing the culture within the Church.  We need to get more serious about building Zion.  A big part of that means changing how we think about what it means to be single in the Church.  Too many LDS singles feel like second class citizens in the Church of Mormon Families Who Sometimes Talk about Christ when they should feel like equal members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

But the culture will never change if we don’t do anything.

We need to start having a conversation about LDS singles life, one that encourages all of us to change the way we think about what it means to be single in the Church.  There are changes that marrieds need to make and many more changes that singles need to make.  We need to support one another in these changes.

That means we have to cut the crap and speak the truth.

I’ve been single now for almost 20 years.  That’s two decades.  So I’m tired of all the high school games and other associated crap that I’ve dealt with in that time period.  I want real.  I want to connect with other people on a real level and not have everything revolve around my marital status and my desires for eternal companionship.

So when I see crap from anyone, I’m calling them out on it.

That means some of you will discount me or try to ignore me because what I have to say will contradict whatever agenda you have.  Others I will simply annoy.  Still others will outright hate me.  I’m okay with all of that.  You see, I want real.

I understand that not everyone is prepared for the truth.  That is part of what my book is all about.  We all develop habits in which we continue to believe lies about the way the world and our lives are constructed, because those lies make us feel more comfortable.  But I’m done with all of that.  I want real.  That means embracing the truth, no matter what it may seem to do to me in the here and now.  And I got three words for those of you who aren’t prepared to hear the truth.

I don't care.

That’s right.  Again, it’s not about me.  It’s about changing the culture so that we LDS singles can more easily confront our challenges and we can all — married and single — get about the business of building Zion for real.  That is, after all, what all of us covenanted to do at baptism and in the temple.

Oh, and I don’t care applies to just about everything.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to trample intentionally on the feelings of others.  It doesn’t mean I won’t attempt to regard the views of others with respect and courtesy.  I probably won't always succeed, as imperfect as I am, but I will strive to be a gentleman.

What I don't care does mean is when you read one of my posts, you’re getting real — the real me, what I really think and feel, and all presented in a real way.  I don’t care about search engine robots because I write for people.  I don’t care about page rank or other Internet statistics which in eternity will be meaningless.  I don’t care if I continue writing posts week after week which generate no comments.  I don’t care what anyone thinks about me or my opinions.  I want real, and I can’t get real if I put on rose-colored glasses and pretend that everything is just peachy when in reality it’s putrid.  If a cow crapped it out, I’m going to call it what it really is — cow crap!
Picture

That means that a lot of conventional wisdom and me just won’t mix.

I’m done trying to be someone I'm not just to impress someone into having a relationship with me — and that’s any type of relationship, not just the romantic kind.  I’m done living the lie of a life on autopilot.  I’m done going through the motions of being an “active” Latter-day Saint.  I want to do what I do because I truly feel it deep inside.  I want what I do to mean something.  I want real.

Real also means I don’t look on people reading my blog as customers to be marketed to constantly.  I don’t like receiving constant emails telling me how I can’t live without purchasing XYZ, so I’ll never send anyone anything like that.  It’s not about me or my book.  It’s about building a community through which we can change the culture by changing the way we think about LDS singles life.

I refuse to believe it cannot be done.  I refuse to follow the herd just because everyone else is doing it.  I refuse to believe what I say and do makes no difference.  I refuse to believe I'm second-rate or that God must want me to be single because I haven’t yet experienced the subcultural rite of passage that is temple marriage.  And I refuse to back down.

Sure, I’m imperfect, very much so.  I've got more imperfections than Swiss cheese has holes.  I understand that my endeavors may result in total and complete failure.  But that just brings me back to the three words I shared earlier.

I don't care.

You see, I’ve failed so many times in my life at just about everything in life that I am not certain whether failure has any real meaning anymore.  But I am certain that just going through the motions is meaningless.  I want real.  And real is what you will get from me.

I envision a glorious future in which LDS marrieds and singles come together and build Zion – a place where everyone cares for everyone and everyone looks out for everyone.  That is the place where I want to be, whether or not I ever find my eternal companion.  Of course, such a place is more made than found, which brings me back to my first point.

It’s not about me.  It’s about lifting a light so that others can see amidst the darkness.  It’s about bringing hope to those in despair.  It’s about changing the way that we all think so that we can unite and build Zion.  And it’s about becoming more like our Savior so that we can live there and feel like we belong.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

    Comment

    Joy in the Journey Radio encourages the free discussion of ideas but reserves the right to remove and/or block comments which do not conform to LDS standards.

    Donate

    Joy in the Journey Radio offers many free resources to help LDS singles everywhere, but it certainly isn't free!  Help Joy in the Journey Radio in its mission to improve the lives of LDS singles by donating today.

    Posts by Month

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All
    Adrian Ochoa
    Agency
    Assumptions
    Atonement
    Attitude
    Attraction
    Autopilot
    Balance
    Becky Craven
    Believe
    Best Life
    Bradley R Wilcox
    Camille N Johnson
    Change The Culture
    Changing LDS Singles Culture
    Christ
    Christmas
    Clark G Gilbert
    Confidence
    Conscious Choices
    Covenant Mindset
    Dale G Renlund
    Dallin H Oaks
    Dating
    David A Bednar
    Depression
    Dieter F Uchtdorf
    Discipleship
    Donald L Hallstrom
    D Todd Christofferson
    Face To Face
    Faith
    Family
    Family History
    Fear
    Filters
    Finances
    Focus Determines Reality
    Full Life: Body
    Full Life: Heart
    Full Life: Mind
    Full Life: Spirit
    Future
    Gary E Stevenson
    General Conference
    Gerrit W Gong
    Goals
    Gordon B Hinckley
    Gratitude
    Habits
    Happiness
    Hope
    Jack Gerard
    Jean Bingham
    Jeffrey R Holland
    John A McCune
    John C Pingree Jr
    Journey
    Joy
    Leaders
    Legacy
    Life Of Meaning
    Live In The Moment
    Marriage
    Marrieds
    Michael A Dunn
    Michelle Craig
    Miracles
    M Russell Ballard
    Natural Mindset
    Neil Andersen
    Opportunity
    Own Your Life
    Partner With The Lord
    Peace
    Personal Ministry
    Perspective
    Philosophy
    Proclamation On The Family
    Quentin L Cook
    Real
    Reformat And Reboot
    Relationships
    Ronald Rasband
    Russell M Nelson
    Sacrament
    Self Talk
    Self-talk
    Service
    Sharon Eubank
    Stories
    Support
    Surrender To Love
    Susan H Porter
    Taylor G Godoy
    Temple
    Thinking
    Thomas S Monson
    Trials
    Unity
    Valentine's Day
    Vision
    Walk By Faith
    Yoon Hwan Choi
    Zion

    RSS Feed

Offerings

Home
Radio 4 LDS Singles
LDS Singles Blog
Books
Speaking
Recipes
Home-centered Church

Production

About
Staff

Support

FAQ
Volunteer
Donate
Contact
Joy in the Journey Radio is a production
of Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
© 2014-2022 Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 9 Nov 22
      • 2 Nov 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact