Although posting way later than usual, I wanted to share with you pieces of a conversation I had tonight with the stake presidency counselor responsible for the singles in my stake.
My intention in seeing him was to discuss some negative emotions I’ve experienced from my service on the stake singles committee. He was very gracious in hearing me out.
I was very grateful this priesthood leader released me from my calling (which actually felt more like an assignment since it was never announced in any public meeting) on the stake singles committee.
Home teachers are important
At the heart of my tension were differences regarding a vision for ministering to singles. I’ve blogged previously about my perspective on how to minister to singles. Here’s the other perspective that made me look for my duct tape. Because home teachers in individual wards have the responsibility to minister to singles, we don’t want to duplicate what’s already in place.
I agree that home teachers should be the primary means of ministering to individual members, regardless of their situation in life. I also see the reality: The majority of priesthood holders don’t go home teaching, and most who do have no clue how to meet the needs of singles. So where does that leave us? With many singles suffering needlessly from unmet needs.
I very frankly confessed I don’t feel I have any support from either my ward or my stake. I don’t even know who my home teachers are. Here’s part of the response I received. The stake singles committee chairperson has confessed at meetings I don’t attend how much she cares about me and wishes I could be made to feel better.
My response? If the committee chairperson really feels that way, she should show it. Call me up and ask me how I’m doing. Text me. Email me and ask what you can do to help. Or better yet, come visit me in my home. Do something to help me feel loved. Saying you care where I’m not there to hear it won’t help me feel loved.
Admittedly, this individual may struggle with some of those active options, maybe even all of them. And we all express love differently. So in this person’s world, simply voicing what she feels may mean a great deal and have its own validity. That’s completely understandable.
It still leaves my needs unmet. And when the rubber hits the road, that’s what really counts.
Dealing with injustice
One part of the conversation I had with my priesthood leader that I really want to share is the role the Atonement plays in reference to injustice.
This world is filled with injustices. My priesthood leader frankly labeled my singleness as one of them. It’s just plain wrong that someone who’s continued to sacrifice and remain true for so long when many others abandon the faith should be denied the righteous blessings of family life. Not that I’m any model of perfection, but me being single is just not right. I’m sure that many other singles could voice their own injustices.
Yet God operates by law, one of which provides for compensation. The Atonement provides blessings now to help us deal with our present injustices while also providing blessings in the future. And when all those future blessings have arrived, they will outweigh by far any pain or sorrow that we experience now from injustice.
I believe that wholeheartedly. Those blessings are all around all of us. We just need eyes to see them.
Swallowed up in Christ
I don’t feel I have any support from my ward or my stake, but I do very much feel I have support from my Savior. How very grateful I am that my Lord shed drops of blood for me! The cross He carried bore weight from me — my sins, my mistakes, my shortcomings, my failings, my sorrows, my pains, and my injustices. Alone that burden will surely crush me. But in Him I can do all things.
I know I’m not worthy, but that’s why it’s called mercy.
And it’s not just for me. It’s also for others with whom I disagree. I don’t believe the stake singles committee members are bad people or that their heart isn’t in the right place. Nor do I believe that the way they choose to serve lacks validity or value for some.
But I just can’t get on board their train. So I’m glad that I received an honorable release (yes, that word honorable was used with the next word release). Now I can release the negative emotions that always filled me at those monthly meetings. And I can focus on exerting my influence in positive ways so that I’m a bigger part of the solution.
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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