Love to become

What we love determines what we seek in life.  What we seek reveals what we think and do.  And what we think and do determines what we are and what we will become.

From time to time, I wax philosophical.  And lately my musings have centered on love.  Of course, I think about the romantic sense, but I’m talking here about something broader, what the scriptures call charity.  And I’m thinking about it in terms of self improvement.

I guess it’s that conversation I had several years ago in Seattle that put my train on this track.  What does it really mean to love someone?  And what does it mean when that someone is yourself?  After all, that’s how we apply the concept towards self.  It’s in the arena of self-improvement.

Additionally, my thoughts include some words from the Savior.  “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21).  What we love speaks volumes about who we are and the life we build.

Further reflection has led me to some profound conclusions.  And their profundity increases when applied to LDS singles life.  What we love determines what we seek in life.  What we seek reveals what we think and do.  And what we think and do determines what we are and what we will become.

And so, if we become what we love, then we must love what we want to become.  Put another way, we must love in order to become.

What we seek

It all starts with what we seek.  What we love determines what we seek.  What we love defines our “treasure.”

And that begs the question: What is your treasure?  Most LDS singles would provide Sunday school answers like the gospel and the scriptures as well as expected responses such as romance and living a good life.  But is that really all you want?

Get more detailed about what you want by examining how you spend your time.  You can say you want a temple marriage, but if you spend all your free time playing video games and surfing social media, is a temple marriage really what you want?  Spending vast amounts of time pursuing entertainment speaks volumes about what and who you really love.

If, after examining how you spend your time, you see a mismatch in your own life between what you believe you love and what you actually love, take the courage to change.  You don’t have to change everything at once, and in fact, the most lasting changes don’t occur instantly.  As we discussed last week, just focus on one thing you need to do to improve.  As you conquer each day the one thing you need to do each day, eventually you’ll find yourself loving more what you should seek.

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What we think and do

That’s important because what we seek reveals what we think and do.  Returning to our previous example, what does spending all your free time pursuing entertainment reveal about what you think and do?

Now imagine if you replaced some of that entertainment with regular community service.  What would that change say about what you think and do?  It’s not rocket science, but most of us are so wrapped up in the habits we’ve adopted to navigate life that we don’t reflect on the effectiveness of those habits.

This is how many LDS singles adopt habits that keep them single.  They’re so engaged in autopilot that they simply go through the motions of habits that keep them in stagnation rather than make conscious choices to adopt new habits that move them forward towards desired blessings.  And those stagnation habits were built around what they love.

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What we are and will become

So if what we love determines what we seek in life, and what we seek reveals what we think and do, then it naturally follows that what we think and do determines what we are and what we will become.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Results come from one thing and only one thing: action.  And what we think always precedes what we do.

But here’s the kicker.  Most of what we do is couched in habit.  So what much of what we think, especially the underlying assumptions about life, is also couched in habit.  It then follows that our habits have been built around what we love.

What do your habits say about what you love?  If you aren’t becoming what you want to become, then take a look at what you love.  Recognize how your habits center around what you really love and project that into the future.  If you don’t like where those habits will take you, then take the courage to change.  Replace your less effective habits with more effective ones.  When you do, you’ll be on the road to your truly desired destination.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

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You can listen to the monologue from today's episode of Joy In The Journey Radio here.  Please also feel free to continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.  Want to hear more?  Listen to the whole show by going to the show page for this episode.