Further reflection has led me to some profound conclusions. And their profundity increases when applied to LDS singles life. What we love determines what we seek in life. What we seek reveals what we think and do. And what we think and do determines what we are and what we will become.
And so, if we become what we love, then we must love what we want to become. Put another way, we must love in order to become.
What we seek
It all starts with what we seek. What we love determines what we seek. What we love defines our “treasure.”
And that begs the question: What is your treasure? Most LDS singles would provide Sunday school answers like the gospel and the scriptures as well as expected responses such as romance and living a good life. But is that really all you want?
Get more detailed about what you want by examining how you spend your time. You can say you want a temple marriage, but if you spend all your free time playing video games and surfing social media, is a temple marriage really what you want? Spending vast amounts of time pursuing entertainment speaks volumes about what and who you really love.
If, after examining how you spend your time, you see a mismatch in your own life between what you believe you love and what you actually love, take the courage to change. You don’t have to change everything at once, and in fact, the most lasting changes don’t occur instantly. As we discussed last week, just focus on one thing you need to do to improve. As you conquer each day the one thing you need to do each day, eventually you’ll find yourself loving more what you should seek.
What we think and do
That’s important because what we seek reveals what we think and do. Returning to our previous example, what does spending all your free time pursuing entertainment reveal about what you think and do?
Now imagine if you replaced some of that entertainment with regular community service. What would that change say about what you think and do? It’s not rocket science, but most of us are so wrapped up in the habits we’ve adopted to navigate life that we don’t reflect on the effectiveness of those habits.
This is how many LDS singles adopt habits that keep them single. They’re so engaged in autopilot that they simply go through the motions of habits that keep them in stagnation rather than make conscious choices to adopt new habits that move them forward towards desired blessings. And those stagnation habits were built around what they love.
What we are and will become
So if what we love determines what we seek in life, and what we seek reveals what we think and do, then it naturally follows that what we think and do determines what we are and what we will become. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Results come from one thing and only one thing: action. And what we think always precedes what we do.
But here’s the kicker. Most of what we do is couched in habit. So what much of what we think, especially the underlying assumptions about life, is also couched in habit. It then follows that our habits have been built around what we love.
What do your habits say about what you love? If you aren’t becoming what you want to become, then take a look at what you love. Recognize how your habits center around what you really love and project that into the future. If you don’t like where those habits will take you, then take the courage to change. Replace your less effective habits with more effective ones. When you do, you’ll be on the road to your truly desired destination. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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