Christmas is a joyous time of year. Yet some of us just aren’t feeling the joy. Especially when some celebrations focus on families, those who don’t have their own can feel left out.
If that’s you, it’s because you aren’t on the right train. You need to hop on board. You need to get your happy on.
The essence of the Christmas message is joy, peace, love, and unity. The despair, hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness that many singles feel all year long can be keenly felt during the holidays.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you aren’t feeling the joy of the holiday season, it’s time to get your happy on.
Set your focus right
I’ve discussed before how your focus determines your reality. Often those who don’t feel the joy of the Christmas season need to adjust their focus away from what they lack and towards what they can contribute. The Christmas season is a season of giving. So if you aren’t focused on giving, then your reality will be very different from what the season is all about.
We humans are hardwired to operate from habit. These habits include where we direct our focus. You can’t get your happy on when you focus on anything negative. And focusing on a lack of anything will only lead to a reality that lacks.
If you want to set your reality right, start by setting your focus right. I’m not saying that you ignore what you lack but need. I’m saying that you focus on what you have that can help you to get what you lack but need. When you set your focus right, you can start to get your happy on.
Set your actions right
Once you intend your focus in the right direction, you need to reinforce that intention with action. Otherwise, you’ll just go back to your old habits. That’s how you’re hardwired to operate.
So replace the old habit with a new one. Consciously choose to contribute goodness without any expectation of reward and absent any agenda.
The Christmas season is the perfect time of year for that. It’s when everyone expects that to happen. Just try doing something for someone without any thought of anything for yourself. See how good it feels. Then you’ll start to get your happy on.
Set your intentions right
Of course, you can’t just do the right things. That’s a popular myth. While on the surface it appears completely backwards, it’s nonetheless true.
Many wards offer the perfect proof that doing the right things doesn’t automatically lead to happiness. I’ve attended many different wards in many parts of the country. One thing they all had in common was people who do the right things but just aren’t happy.
Going to church is the right thing to do. So why then are some people who do the right thing by coming to church not happy? It’s because happiness doesn’t just come from doing the right things. Happiness comes from giving your all to the right things.
If these unhappy people at church were to focus on what they can contribute while at church, they’d be getting their happy on. That’s what church is supposed to be, a place where we seek to lift each other up. “And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls” (Moroni 6:5, emphasis added). If you aren’t participating in that lifting, then you aren’t on the train. Hop on board! Then you can start getting your happy on.
Get your happy on in every area of life
So it goes for anything else in life. It’s the law of the harvest. You reap what you sow, or put another way, you get out what you put in.
When you focus on what you’re not getting out, you focus away from putting in. And when you constantly fail to put it, you don’t get anything out. The longer you don’t get anything out, the easier it will be to focus on your lack. And so the downward spiral keeps you feeling trapped inside a reality of lack.
But you can get your happy on. Set your focus right. Set your actions right. And set your intentions right.
Focus on what you can give, which is really super easy to do during a season that celebrates giving. In addition to the gift of His Son, God has given you gifts so that you can help others along their eternal journey. Make that contribution. That’s when you can really get your happy on.
So go get your happy on. There’s no better way to share the joy of the Christmas season than to live it!
Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly radio show to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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