Get to the root

Last week I wrote about our need to reformat and reboot ourselves.  We need new habits will automatically guide us to act in ways that lead to the life we want without any need for us to think about it.

But replacing our current habits with those new habits requires us to dig deeper within ourselves.  What exactly does that mean?

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A five-step process

If your life seems miserable and depressing, you can transform it into one filled with joy and satisfaction.  That doesn’t necessarily mean getting married, although it could.  And it doesn’t matter whatever happened to you in your past.  You can transcend your challenges such that they no longer challenge you.  Just follow five steps:

1.     Wake up
2.     Take a step back
3.     Assess the situation
4.     Dig deep enough to get at the root
5.     Take the tools you need and remove the root
   

Let’s talk about each one of these steps in a bit more detail.

Wake up

First, you must examine the role that habits play in your life.  After all, this is how you were designed to operate.

Also, various cultural forces have influenced you as you created your habits.  Once you understand that, you can begin to replace bad instructions with good ones — better ones based on the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Take a step back

Once you understand how things work, you need to separate yourself from yourself.  This means learning how to see yourself as much as possible just as someone completely unconnected to you would see you.

Many people, single or married, do not have much self-awareness.  Acquiring it requires you, among others things, to live in the moment, to question your assumptions, and to shake things up in your life.

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Assess the situation

Separating yourself from yourself places you in a better position to assess your situation more objectively.  That increases your probability of finding the real root cause of your problem.

Another part of that assessment is knowing what you can change and what you cannot.  You also need a good map that faithfully represents the terrain of LDS singles life, including the real rules to the dating game.

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Dig deep enough to get to the root

Digging deep enough means getting to the core naked truth about your situation.

That's not an easy task.  Most people routinely avoid looking at the truth.  And most people don’t have very fulfilling lives.

If you want a life filled with joy and significance, then you need to accept the hard task of facing your truth.  And you need to keep pursuing answers to your questions until you have them.

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Take out the tools you need and remove it

At this point, the only thing left is to do the actual work of removal.  That means getting the tools you need and using them.

The most useful tool in your kit will probably be courage.  It takes courage to face your truth and to see yourself in an unflattering light.  It takes courage to run against the herd.

But it's also well worth it.  Only then can you become truly free from the pain and anguish of a disillusioned life.   That freedom will empower you to embrace the true you that will shine in the darkness.  You can live life consciously.  You can become all you're meant to become.  You can fulfill the mission you were meant to complete.

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Do something to change an unwanted life

We're all different, so the proper application of these steps will vary from individual to individual.  But we're all also the same, which means that no matter what specific steps each of us needs to take, those steps will follow the same pattern.

This is the essence of my book about LDS singles life.  Of course, the book contains many more details, so you will want to get it when it becomes available.  I have begun working with an editor who will help me bring the text into “final” form, so stay tuned for more news as this project develops.

And of course we'll be discussing those details from the book and many connected items here in this blog.  If you don’t have the life you want, you can make changes that will lead you to the life you want.  You just need to have enough faith to take that first step into the darkness.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And it’s not an oncoming train.  It’s the other side of the mountain!