Even if you sing poorly

In their eyes, I'm a dainty bird that can’t sing well.  Why then even bother trying to sing?

With another birthday approaching, I've been reflecting more than usual on my singleness.  And my failings and shortcomings have become all the more apparent.  I don’t often look too long upon them, because I’ve preached for so long that your focus determines your reality.  I want to focus on what I can do so that my reality becomes one of possibility and potential.

But what I can do and what I want to do aren’t necessarily one and the same.  That gap combined with my highlighted weaknesses really hit me hard.  The ease with which I have dismissed depression in the past suddenly wasn’t there.  In such a state, I found myself battling with hopelessness in enduring a seemingly never-ending trial of singleness.

In that context, the future doesn’t look bright at all.  I don’t have what most single LDS women seem to want, and my effort at acquiring those traits have been far from successful.  In their eyes, I'm a dainty bird that can’t sing well.  Why then even bother trying to sing?

Well, you're guaranteed to fail if you don't sing at all.  And who knows what goodness your song, though poorly sung, will promote?  So even if you sing poorly, still sing.

Choose your advantage

Emotions like hopelessness are real and legitimate.  Yet following those emotions to their logical conclusion would lead me to where I cannot go.

In my heart, I know God loves me.  I know He wants to bless me with every righteous blessing I desire and more.  In fact, looking back on my life, I see He's worked tirelessly to bring me those desired blessings of companionship.  He hasn't abandoned me.  He has a plan for me and all of His children to progress in this life and in the eternities to come.

So why then, one may well ask, have those desired blessings of companionship not come?  Well, in a word, it’s agency.  People make choices.  And because people aren't perfect, the choices they make aren’t often perfect either.  Sometimes you'll make poor choices, and sometimes others will.

Yet the same agency allowing others to choose against you is the same agency allowing you to choose to your advantage.  You can choose to improve.  You can choose to learn and to practice honing your skills so that you sing better.  But that won’t happen if you don’t sing.  Even if you sing poorly, still sing.

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Rely on Him

But, you may well ask, what good will that do me today?  If I don't sing well enough right now, I won't be noticed.  And then how will I have my desired blessings?

That's a legitimate question.  Many suitors ignore pathways to their success because they're focused on fulfillment in the present rather than on potential in the future.  But you get the same result if you never sing at all.

Moroni experienced a similar conundrum.  With the abundance of time he had on his hands, he entertained hypothetical what-if scenarios.  What if the Gentiles fail to have charity because my weakness in writing kept the scales of their agency from tipping towards charity?  Wouldn't it be they didn’t have charity because of my weakness?

That argument mirrors the one we’re considering here.  The Gentiles might not have charity whether Moroni writes in his weakness or chooses not to write.  So why then write anything at all?  Of course, the Lord had a very clear answer:*1

The Lord has worked wonders that make any weaknesses Moroni had moot.  What's to say He won't work similar wonders for you and me?  Whatever our weakness, God can turn the songs we sing into powerful performances.  Even if you sing poorly, still sing.

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Never stop singing

And even if you sing poorly, the more you sing, the better you’ll get at it.  I remember once as a child being told by one of the other Primary children I didn’t sing very well.  I should just shut up and spare everyone.

But I didn’t stop singing.  Mostly I would sing to myself when alone — that childhood experience affected me — but I kept with it.  Many years later in college, I tried out for a musical, hoping to join the choir.  To my great surprise, I got the main part!

Even if you sing poorly, still sing.  As they say, “The show isn’t over until the fat lady sings,” and for many of us singles, that moment is still far away.  Though you may feel bereft of hope, strive on still.  Focus on doing what you can do, keep doing what you can do, and one day you’ll surprise yourself as you exceed your wildest expectations.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

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