Joy In The Journey Radio
  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 9 Nov 22
      • 2 Nov 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact

continue the conversation

Down with the pity party

2/12/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
I remember a single young woman who once extolled the “virtues” of the pity party in a Sunday School class.  "Pity parties are actually good things," she said.  She compared the pity party to a release valve.  And expunging all that inner bad actually brings you closer to Christ, or so went her logic.

Anyone else hear fingernails on a chalkboard?  Such an abomination comprising old, defunct ways of thinking needs to be stamped out of existence before it infests the place like cockroaches.  But in the moment I decided to be diplomatic and hold my tongue.

Now that I'm not in Sunday School, I'm taking off the gloves (though I’ll still be a gentleman).

The real 411 on the pity party

We all know the pity party scene.  You feel sorry for yourself because you can’t get what you want.  And hopelessness overwhelms you so much that curling up into the fetal position for a future filled with misery and sorrow seems the only option.

When you start to feel that way, you should have huge red lights flashing in your head.
Picture
That feeling is a warning you're on the wrong track.  Confronting disappointment is part of the mortal experience we all came here to have.  Another part is learning how not to be overcome by it.

There is always hope because there is always Christ

There is always hope because there is always Christ.  By following His example, you can overcome your difficulties rather than be overcome by them.

And when I say "follow His example," I'm not referencing stale Sunday School lessons about service or keeping the commandments.  I mean embracing a new way of thinking so that you can overcome the challenges of your life in the way Christ overcame His.

The Savior's example

Picture
When Christ walked on the water (hey, now that's new and different thinking), he invited Peter to follow Him.  The storm was howling all around Peter, but he acted in faith.

As long as he clung to old ways of thinking ("you can't walk on water"), Peter would stay in the boat.  But when he embraced a new way of thinking ("you can walk on water when the Master invites you to do so"), he saw that it worked.  That is, until he began to doubt.

When you feel the storms of life howling around you, you can surrender to that pity party or you can follow the Savior.

Can you see Christ shrinking into a pathetic little clod of pity?  I can’t.  Yet isn’t that what that pity party makes you?  What’s ennobling or inspiring about that?  Certainly no one benefits from that, least of all you.

If you can't imagine Christ doing that, what do you see Him doing?  I see Him renewing His focus on His mission.  I see him focusing on others instead of Himself.  I see Him living a different reality because He has a different focus.

That's why I can never accept the pity party.  It shifts your focus inordinately upon yourself.

Your focus determines your reality

Feel trapped in a pathetic reality?  Then your focus is pathetic.  Your focus determines your reality.  When you focus inordinately upon yourself and your unfulfilled desires, you darken your reality.  Want to change your reality?  Change your focus.

The Master's life was meaningful because He filled His life with meaning.  He knew what He was all about, and that’s where He kept His focus.  Pity parties couldn't touch Him.

They won’t touch you either if you adopt new and different ways of thinking.  Moments of discouragement will always come; that's part of the mortal experience we came here to have.  But just because you encounter that emotion doesn't mean you have to surrender to it.

So this Valentine's Day, ride a new train.  Find a new reality by finding a new focus.  Look for someone you can lift.  Make a difference in someone's life.  Build or repair a relationship that is meaningful to you.  Let's all say, "Down with the pity party and up with new and different ways of thinking."
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have  more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.

    Comment

    Joy in the Journey Radio encourages the free discussion of ideas but reserves the right to remove and/or block comments which do not conform to LDS standards.

    Donate

    Joy in the Journey Radio offers many free resources to help LDS singles everywhere, but it certainly isn't free!  Help Joy in the Journey Radio in its mission to improve the lives of LDS singles by donating today.

    Posts by Month

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All
    Adrian Ochoa
    Agency
    Assumptions
    Atonement
    Attitude
    Attraction
    Autopilot
    Balance
    Becky Craven
    Believe
    Best Life
    Bradley R Wilcox
    Camille N Johnson
    Change The Culture
    Changing LDS Singles Culture
    Christ
    Christmas
    Clark G Gilbert
    Confidence
    Conscious Choices
    Covenant Mindset
    Dale G Renlund
    Dallin H Oaks
    Dating
    David A Bednar
    Depression
    Dieter F Uchtdorf
    Discipleship
    Donald L Hallstrom
    D Todd Christofferson
    Face To Face
    Faith
    Family
    Family History
    Fear
    Filters
    Finances
    Focus Determines Reality
    Full Life: Body
    Full Life: Heart
    Full Life: Mind
    Full Life: Spirit
    Future
    Gary E Stevenson
    General Conference
    Gerrit W Gong
    Goals
    Gordon B Hinckley
    Gratitude
    Habits
    Happiness
    Hope
    Jack Gerard
    Jean Bingham
    Jeffrey R Holland
    John A McCune
    John C Pingree Jr
    Journey
    Joy
    Leaders
    Legacy
    Life Of Meaning
    Live In The Moment
    Marriage
    Marrieds
    Michael A Dunn
    Michelle Craig
    Miracles
    M Russell Ballard
    Natural Mindset
    Neil Andersen
    Opportunity
    Own Your Life
    Partner With The Lord
    Peace
    Personal Ministry
    Perspective
    Philosophy
    Proclamation On The Family
    Quentin L Cook
    Real
    Reformat And Reboot
    Relationships
    Ronald Rasband
    Russell M Nelson
    Sacrament
    Self Talk
    Self-talk
    Service
    Sharon Eubank
    Stories
    Support
    Surrender To Love
    Susan H Porter
    Taylor G Godoy
    Temple
    Thinking
    Thomas S Monson
    Trials
    Unity
    Valentine's Day
    Vision
    Walk By Faith
    Yoon Hwan Choi
    Zion

    RSS Feed

Offerings

Home
Radio 4 LDS Singles
LDS Singles Blog
Books
Speaking
Recipes
Home-centered Church

Production

About
Staff

Support

FAQ
Volunteer
Donate
Contact
Joy in the Journey Radio is a production
of Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
© 2014-2022 Aspire Mountain Media LLC.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Home
  • Radio 4 LDS Singles
    • Recent Shows >
      • 9 Nov 22
      • 2 Nov 22
    • Archive 2022
    • Archive 2021
    • Archive 2020
    • Archive 2019
    • Archive 2018
  • LDS Singles Blog
  • Members
    • Members-only
  • World of TED
  • Firesides
  • Books
  • FAQ
  • Volunteer
  • Home-centered Church
  • Donate
  • Contact