Don’t be a butthead

. . . to move towards your goals and dreams, don’t be a butthead!

Recently my reflections on where I am in my life revealed the need to be ever vigilant and watchful.  I’m not making the progress I need to make.  I’ve been slipping, and the slipping has led to sliding, and now I find myself living out a Paul Simon song.

Of course, that song goes, “You know you’re near your destination the more you’re slip sliding away” — a comforting thought as I consider why I started slipping to begin with.  The ball’s at the one-yard line, just inches from the in-zone, and the reason why it landed there and not all the way in is because earlier I kept slipping.  I wasn’t diligent in doing what needed to be done.

That relaxed attitude was no match for the “Yeah, but”s that always intervene when we’re stretching ourselves out of our comfort zone.  “You should work on that dream” confronts “Yeah, but it’s been a long day and I’m too tired” and you don’t make any progress on your goals and dreams.  “You should finish that task” meets “Yeah, but I’ve got bills to pay [or insert other work that appears to take priority]” and you don’t make any progress on your goals and dreams.  So if you want to move towards your goals and dreams, don’t be a butthead!

Leave your comfort zone

So long as we stay within our comfort zones, we’ll always have average lives of mediocrity.  And that’s the way our brain likes it.  How do I know?  Quite simply, it’s designed into our biological hardwiring.

Anciently, venturing too far outside your comfort zone could get you killed.  Thus, the forces of evolutionary biology adjusted the design of our internal controls.  Our biological hardwiring now provides a check point if we go too far beyond the borders of safety.  “You don’t really want to go this way” becomes the persuasion of the moment attended by a natural pull back within our comfort zone.  It’s all designed to keep us safe.

But staying safe will never result in your best life because staying safe leads only to mediocrity.  Now, I’m not saying we need to be a reckless version of Evel Knievel.  What I am saying is playing it safe every time never got anyone anywhere.  Your best life isn’t found inside your comfort zone.  If it were, you’d have your best life because it’d be easy to find and you wouldn’t be dreaming of something better.

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Turn knowledge into action

None of this is new to me; I’ve known all of it for years.  So why then have I kept slipping?  Why hasn’t the knowledge of how my biological hardwiring works translated into forward-propelling action?  It’s comforting to know that even with all my slipping the ball’s at the one-yard line, but even still. why isn’t it in the in-zone?

I simply haven’t been vigilant watching for lapses.  Our biological hardwiring has us operating mostly out of habit, so it’s easy for eyes to drift away from watching out for potential slips.  And those opportunities to slip sneak so silently upon us that not watching vigilantly essentially invites slips towards our goals and dreams to occur.

Those slips often begin with “Yeah, but.”  Without vigilant watching, those “Yeah, but”s come and carry the moment.  Each surrender to natural inclination is a vote to stay average.  Over time, those votes can aggregate to deliver a life of mediocrity.  In this way you can get close to scoring but never actually do.

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Adopt a new habit

Can you ever get the “Yeah, but”s out of your head?  No, they’re a part of your biological hardwiring.  But you can develop habits for confronting those “Yeah, but”s successfully.

Begin by deciding your response in advance.  Then write out that response: “When I get told ‘Yeah, but’ X in such-and-such situation, I will Y.”  Writing out your response burns it more into your brain so that, when your trigger event occurs, you’re more likely to follow through with your pre-determined response.  Once you play that out enough times, you’ll have a new habit that propels you forward to your goals and dreams.

So don’t be a butthead.  Don’t just let the waves of life carry you wherever the winds happens to blow.  Own your life.  Take control.  Reject any surrender to “Yeah, but” by setting yourself up to adopt the habits you need to succeed.  You’ll find yourself slipping a lot less and scoring wins a lot more on the road to your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

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