That vote of no confidence really punched me in the gut. Initially I was in a daze, uncertain of my path forward. But as time lifted that fog, I began to gain some clarity and regain some perspective. If you feel that way, know that all is not lost. There’s always hope because there’s always Christ. That hope says you can change for the better. And you can keep that optimism when you treat every day like it’s your birthday. Live like a kidAt my age, birthdays just don’t seem as special to me as they did when I was a kid. I’ve been there, done that, got the shirt and the hat, plus I chair the membership committee. (Would you like to join? We have jackets!) And that’s part of the problem. Something about becoming an adult sacrifices that childhood perspective of optimism and possibility on the altar of pessimistic reality. We’re more prone to point out barriers to justify why we won’t or can’t achieve than to believe that achievement is possible and look for a way to overcome the obstacle. We also lose the joy of childhood. The adult perspective is so often serious. Kids naturally approach their day looking for fun. They don’t worry much beyond the present; they live in the moment. Certainly there are times when we need to buckle down and do some serious work. But we could all benefit from introducing an element of fun into what we do and living in the moment. That’s what birthdays are all about for kids. They get absorbed in enjoying the moment. If we lived life like a kid, maybe some of our obstacles would disappear because our overly serious perspective that created them would be gone. Treat each day specialTreating every day like it’s your birthday also recognizes the special gift each day really is. Too often we go through our days playing out habits that carry us from one moment to the next. And that lull of life lacks the joy each day can and does bring. That’s why a life on autopilot will never lead you to your best life. There’s nothing to savor in simply going through the motions. Very often, we go through those motions without any awareness of what we’re doing. That’s how we’re biologically hardwired to operate. Treating every day like it’s your birthday breaks you out of that mold. Because it’s not something you normally do, it doesn’t conform to routine or habit, which takes what you do out of the shadows and into the light of awareness. Being fully aware of what you’re doing does two things: (1) It opens you to the joy to be found in each moment of living, and (2) it increases your sensitivity to possibilities, allowing for creativity in finding solutions to overcome obstacles. Overcome your current challengesApplying these ideas to my current challenge, I can see a path ahead. I need to find someone knowledgeable I can trust to give me objective counsel and help me construct a plan going forward. And strangely I feel excited about that. Treating today like it’s my birthday brought me there. I’m looking for the joy instead of wallowing in the mire of misery. I’m embracing optimism in a brighter future that I can forge. I’m opening myself to the hope that always is because Christ always is. I’m tempering the responsibilities of adulthood with the perspectives of childhood. So treat every day like it’s your birthday. You’ll invite yourself to open more to possibility. You’ll do more to take care of yourself. You’ll experience more creativity as you embrace more optimism. And you’ll live your life more hopeful of the future that has you living your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
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Write your best storyOur reality is simply the combination of our results in life and the meaning we ascribe to them. A story is essentially a description of that reality. Stories are how we make sense out of life. That’s why we all have a story. And that’s why, when your life starts going off plot, it’s natural to freak out. The story you’ve been using to make sense of your life doesn’t match reality. “Wait a minute!” some cry. “I’m supposed to be married by now. This isn’t how my story is supposed to go!” Or maybe you weren’t supposed to get married to a “consolation prize.” Or maybe you weren’t supposed to get divorced. Or maybe your spouse wasn’t supposed to die so soon. There’s endless ways to detail the difference between the story you’ve been using and the one you’re experiencing. But Christ can make up the difference because He is the difference. Your goals determine your direction, and direction determines destination. How can you embrace the best destination unless you embrace He Who is the only Way to that best destination? Sister Johnson acknowledged that truth as she began her remarks with an invitation:
Partnering with the Lord is the only way to your best life on both sides of the veil. You simply can’t write your best story without Him. Understand why you hesitateAs simple as that answer is, it isn’t easy. Partnering with the Lord often means surrendering your will to His. And the natural man and woman are nothing if not unwilling to be ruled. Combine that truth with our biological hardwiring to resist change, especially uncomfortable change, and you’ve got obstacles to becoming your best self before you even begin. Sooner or later, we’ll all sense that accepting His will instead of our own will mean accepting some uncomfortable outcome, deviating the story of our life away from the story we’ve told ourselves is the one that’s supposed to be. This is essentially why we hesitate to turn our story over to Christ. Sister Johnson said as much in her remarks:
Christ knows you and your potential so well He will guide you to what will help shape you into your best self, and He won’t allow anything to come into your life that you can’t leverage for that end. Sister Johnson confirmed these truths when she taught,
Embrace your best story So it really comes down to this: Are you willing to let Christ write a story for your life far better than any you could write on your own? You can stay in your comfortable hovel believing in your own story and denying any deviations life will always eventually present. Or you can embrace the discomfort that will lead you to your best life by letting Him prevail in your life. The truth is we don’t know everything we think we do. As discomforting as a turn in your story might seem, if that turn comes from Christ, embracing it will turn you more into your best self and your life more into your best life. As Nephi taught, “He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him” (2 Nephi 26:24). Let Christ author your story. Partner with Him, and He’ll make more out of your life than you ever can on your own. Whatever discomfort you experience from so doing will turn around to your gain. When that day comes, you’ll look back on your decision to let Him prevail with gratitude. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Starting with gratitude simply promotes an extra portion of power. That’s especially true of giving. Indeed, true giving begins with gratitude. As we discussed recently, the more grateful you are, the more you will have, and the more you have, the more you can give. You can truly light the world when with gratitude you share your gifts from God with others. Reflect on unique giftsWe often think of gifts being highly prized and desirable attributes or skills. So it’s not that surprising when some of us who don’t have those highly prized and desirable attributes or skills feel we don’t have any gifts. That’s of course not true. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from. Everyone has gifts from God. We all have talent for something. When we exercise our talents, executing the necessary action just seems to flow more easily, even if we lack specific training. God gave talents to everyone so we all can contribute positively to others’ lives. I’m convinced we each have multiple talents from God. Often, they aren’t what we’d think of as talents. I once knew a sister missionary whose smile was so infectious you couldn’t help but feel a little better when her smile shone upon you. Another friend was a really good listener. We don’t normally think of smiling and listening as talents, and yet I would submit they qualify. What talents do you have from God? What gifts has He given you that make your contribution to the lives of others unique? Reflect on those gifts for a moment and simmer in gratitude for them. Reflect on common giftsOf course, we share some gifts from God in common. Again, I don’t care who you are or where you are from. God has blessed each of us not only with gifts unique to each one of us but also with gifts we share in common. The first such gift is the greatest gift of God — the gift of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He is the reason for the season precisely because He is the greatest gift. Through Him, we all have the opportunity to repent and to live forever with God and those we most love. Through Him we all have the power to acquire the fulness of not just our spiritual potential but every other potential as well, be that emotional, intellectual, or physical. Unfortunately, that gift too often goes unappreciated, as does the second greatest gift from God — agency. Every moment, we get to choose for ourselves what we’ll think, say, and do — and with that what we’ll become. Between our Advocate with the Father and our agency, we have the essentials to become our best selves, live our best life, and achieve the fulness of our potential. Yet too often we don’t even consider these gifts as the gateways to greatness they are. Don’t let that be you. Take a moment to reflect and meditate on these wonderful gifts and the opportunities they make possible in your life. Marinade your soul in gratitude for your gifts from God. Share gratitude with othersBut it’s not just enough to feel gratitude. You must share it as well! Otherwise, the circle won’t be complete. What does that mean? Gratitude is an emotion for what has come into your life. You then decide what you will send out to others. What you send out will come back to you again, even when that something is nothing; if you send nothing out, you won’t get anything back again. But when you send out something — say, gratitude, for instance — you will find it later returned to you. Whatever your gifts from God, take time to reflect on them, feel gratitude for them, and then share that gratitude with others. You’ll find more reason to celebrate the season while moving yourself closer to becoming your best self and living your best life. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Clearly, the Savior understood that power. His ministering example teaches all the love generated when we give our full attention to others. Indeed, one of the greatest gifts we can give to others is the gift of full attention. Understand the fix Society today hungers for attention, so much so everyone seems scrambling after it. Whatever new trick can potentially secure the attention of others finds its way onto the to-do list of many seeking to capture attention for their own gain. And these actors, feeling a scarcity of the attention they desire, saturate us with attention demand overload. Combine that situation with the addictive nature of social media, and it’s not hard to understand why people give more attention to their phone than to people around them. Many take full advantage of the dopamine hits social media networks are designed to generate. And far too many of us surrender our agency to the addiction we hold in our hands and carry with us wherever we go. We’ve discussed before on this program the mediocrity this life on autopilot creates. We break free by living in the moment, making conscious choices to move in the direction we determine and not just where the impulse of addiction would drive us. That’s what I love about the suggested action for today on the Light the World calendar. It encourages us to make a conscious choice to break free from impulse and move in a direction we consciously choose. Choose real love That conscious choice unlocks the real power of giving our full attention in our interactions. So doing sends a clear message: Out of all the choices I could make in this moment regarding where to place my attention, I choose you. This is part of why the gift of full attention is a truly a gift of love. The other part deals with the basic human needs we all have to feel loved, needed, and belonging to something greater than ourselves. Putting down your phone and giving your full attention to others essentially tells them they are preferred, and realizing that preference generates in others the feeling of being loved, needed, and part of something bigger. Now consider what happens when we don’t make that conscious choice to give full attention. We tell others through our actions we choose something else over them, that something else is preferred. And that preference generates in others feelings of not being loved, needed, or part of something bigger. I still remember the love generated during a single adult conference 12 years ago when an attendee chose to give me full attention. Our exchange lasted only five minutes, yet the influence of that seemingly small choice in how to spend five minutes has lasted 12 years, and the end is not in sight. The gift of full attention is truly a gift that keeps on giving. Expand the power And we need not limit the power of that gift to just the one small act the Light the World calendar suggests for today. We can expand our influence even further by practicing active listening in all settings. Our society suffers substantially from a lack of listening. People think listening means simply hearing the words other people say. Meanwhile, they look for chances to inject what they want to say into a conversation. But real, active listening involves hearing what others say with the intent to understand them. Instead of looking for breaks to project our own selves onto others, we can use those same opportunities to try to understand others. In so doing, we help others feel loved and thereby expand the power the gift of full attention can provide. So today and every day, let’s give more of the gift that keeps on giving. Let’s give the gift of full attention. When we do, our seeming small act of surrender to love will invite others to do the same. And when they do, the cycle will continue, resulting in a better world filled with the light and goodness of love. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
But I also had a conversation with my PhD advisor, who wants to see much more out of me. That experience led me to reflect on what I have in my life and more importantly why. Reassessing the different elements in my life somehow brought me to President Nelson’s remarks from the last General Conference entitled “Make Time for the Lord.” In this address, President Nelson shared three ways in which we can make time for the Lord. Focus on the Savior The first time we should make for the Lord is to fix our focus on Christ. President Nelson declared, “Nothing invites the Spirit more than fixing your focus on Jesus Christ. Talk of Christ, rejoice in Christ, feast upon the words of Christ, and press forward with steadfastness in Christ.” In my recent reflections, I’ve wondered how much of my focus is fixed on Christ. How often do I talk of Him? How often do I rejoice in Him? How often do I feast upon His words? How often do I feel the determination to press forward with steadfastness in Him? I’ve focused my scripture study this year on success and the path to prosperity. My study hasn’t yet concluded, but it’s already abundantly clear lasting prosperity comes as God’s blessing upon those who embrace true principles. This conclusion encourages us to follow the Prophet’s counsel to fix our focus on Christ. Later this month I’ll pivot my scripture study towards my annual tradition of studying the Sermon on the Mount to increase my discipleship. I’ve discussed this practice before on the program, and I expect it once more to increase the fixation of my focus on Christ. All are welcome to join me, but whether or not you do, find some way increase your focus on the Savior. Delight in the Sabbath The second time President Nelson encouraged us to make for the Lord is to delight in the Sabbath day. He taught, “Make your Sabbath a delight as you worship Him, partake of the sacrament, and keep His day holy.” Consider that teaching. The Sabbath is a delight when we make it one. How do you make your Sabbaths feel delightful? Do they feel delightful to you? You can use that question to gauge how well you keep the Sabbath. The more delightful the Sabbath feels to you, the better you keep the day. And no matter how delightful the Sabbath feels to you, there’s always another level you can reach. Obviously you can feel more delight in your Sabbath if you don’t feel any. But if you do feel delight in your Sabbath, you can feel more. So the question is this: Are your Sabbath day activities what they should be? Or do you need to change something? Connect with the temple The third time the Prophet pleaded us to make for the Lord concerns temples. President Nelson taught, “Please make time for the Lord in His holy house. Nothing will strengthen your spiritual foundation like temple service and temple worship.” Because my nearest temple has yet to reopen, I currently need to travel some distance to attend the temple. And so I’ve been meaning to get more into family history work in preparation for when my temple reopens. I say meaning to because I’ve done nothing more than occasionally dabble. Clearly the Prophet is calling me to repentance. And with that call comes an invitation to extend the Prophet’s admonition to every area of life. With all my responsibilities and everything in my life, am I making enough time for the Lord? We could each ask ourselves that question. If you haven’t considered it lately, I invite you to make time to consider it. In the end, if you haven’t made time for Christ, it won’t matter what you made time for. So make time for the Lord. When we make the time to consider what time we are making for what matters most, we can more easily connect with what matters most. In that way we can establish a better balance in life. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
That attitude has everyone accepting only “top shelf,” which is great if you can get it but isn’t essential to maximizing your joy in life. That maximum joy comes from embracing good enough. And just like worthiness is not flawlessness, good enough is not flawless. Embrace change in youHow incredibly ironic that many LDS singles expect perfection in an eternal companion but then also expect they’ll be completely acceptable in their imperfection. They expect the “perfect” person to love them for who they are as they are. It’s as though change has no place in their equation. But change is at the heart of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Indeed, the idea we need to change or be lost forever is core to the Atonement, the central part of our Heavenly Father’s plan. Expecting a companion who doesn’t need to change isn’t just unrealistic; it stands at odds with the gospel plan. That plan has us here in mortality with imperfections galore. We’ll all have many flaws as we journey through this mortal life. Elder Wilcox noted the same principles as he responded to this hypothetical question:
Too many LDS singles aren’t progressing in their dating journey because they insist on not changing, that anyone who can’t love them as they are obviously isn’t the perfect companion. But the truly perfect companion is one who will both love you as you are today and not leave you as you are today. The perfect marriage is the union of two imperfect people who work together to perfect each other. They accept each other as they each are today, but they don’t accept staying that way. Embrace the longer road Some LDS singles undoubtedly reject the idea of change because they know what change will mean. Seeing themselves in all their imperfections, they know how much work correcting those imperfections will require. It’s much easier to cling to the thought of a “perfect” companion than to put the hammer down and do the work which change in self requires. Yet doing the work is the more practical approach. No matter your approach to your dating journey, the fundamentals will always operate. You don’t progress without the necessary agreement, and you don’t get that agreement unless you’re agreeable enough. So progress in the dating journey often means traversing a longer road of change through hard work. That’s how all of life is designed to be. Elder Wilcox recognized that design when he declared,
Just as worthiness isn’t about perfection but about patience and persistence in walking the covenant path, so your dating journey isn’t about finding the perfect person but about finding the type of person who’ll walk with you as you help each other become perfect together. Embrace all the joy If you’ve sincerely tried to walk that path yet feel beaten down by failure after failure, don’t succumb to surrender and change your destination away from eternal blessings. When the destination is eternity, it’s always better to deal with frustration by changing your approach. Many share impatience as an imperfection, so it’s not surprising many LDS singles want the changes they seek to happen now. Yet often the changes we seek will not come overnight or all at once. Elder Wilcox taught this principle as he shared the story of Damon, a young man who struggled with his own changes. In the end, Elder Wilcox recommended,
Good enough is not flawless but is committed to positive change. Embrace needed changes in you and others as well as the work those changes will require. And embrace the Lord by partnering with Him for your journey. You’ll find it easier to make progress and more support as you do. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
But I really wasn’t capturing the full depth of those words. Maybe I needed some time and distance as well as some more experience with the world to appreciate what he gave all of us. Indeed, you could say that’s one thing I’m learning. And after the program today, perhaps we all can say it’s one among many of what we are learning. Home-centered worship Addressing the global pandemic, President Nelson shared four lessons he hoped we’ve all learned and won’t forget. I sense a greater sense of optimism in his words now than I did six months ago. That optimism increases my appreciation for his first lesson: The home is the center of faith and worship. I think most of us recognized the prophetic nature of the 2018 announcement regarding home-centered church. But I’m not sure that was true before COVID hit. I certainly didn’t recognize the significance of some of my pre-COVID promptings. For instance, shortly before the first lockdown I felt impressed to purchase white tablecloths. What do I need white table cloths for? I thought to myself. When am I ever going to use a white tablecloth? I found out soon enough. What a blessed privilege was mine to partake of bread and water in memory of my Lord and in my own home! I truly felt closer to my Heavenly Father in those moments than I had in any worship service in a chapel. In response to such an experience, President Nelson asked,
Considering what we need to do to increase the security and serenity of our own homes would be time well spent. Needing each other President Nelson’s second and third lessons, that we need each other and your priesthood quorum is more than just a meeting, seem especially intertwined. We really do have a unique opportunity to leverage the present pandemic to unify God’s children like the world has never before seen. But that will become reality only if, as President Nelson asked, our shared trial has drawn us closer to one another. These days it seems the pandemic is driving us farther apart. But if that’s true, it’s because we’ve forgotten the two commandments President Nelson declared could guide us — first, to love God, and second, to love our neighbor. I especially love President Nelson’s teaching that
Flip that around, and see the profundity of the Prophet’s teaching. Why has God sent us to earth in families and wards and stakes? He wants us to work together and help each other. Why has He asked us to serve and minister to each other? He wants us to work together and help each other. Why has He asked us to live in but not be of the world? He wants us to work together and help each other. One could apply that answer to this question: Why has God organized priesthood holders into quorums? Priesthood is indeed more than a church meeting. Hearing the Savior President Nelson’s final lesson from the pandemic ties the others together. The home is the center of faith and worship. We need each other. Your priesthood quorum is more than just a meeting. And we hear Jesus Christ better when we are still. As I just mentioned, the pandemic seems to be driving us further apart. We seem more agitated and contentious than ever. President Nelson confirmed we’re living in prophesied days of commotion and fear. He didn’t declare that commotion would be temporary. Rather, it’ll increase. But we need not be in commotion. If we can be still, we can hear the Savior’s voice speaking peace and confidence to us. As President Nelson taught,
Making time for quiet reflection will become more and more essential as the world becomes more and more contentious. If we will do as the Prophet instructs, we will see the fulfillment of his promise that “the future is bright for God’s covenant-keeping people.” And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
Yet whatever the cause or extent of injustice, there’s hope. Though not speaking directly to singles, Elder Renlund taught the best way for singles to confront the injustice in their lives — find peace in Christ. He knows our wounds from infuriating unfairness and can heal our hurt. When we embrace the Prince of Peace, we can have faith He’ll right every single wrong. Trust Him The peace we seek in a world of infuriating injustice begins inside. Once we get good with ourselves on the inside, we can then turn to help others on the outside. And in helping others become better, we ourselves become better. That process can’t begin anywhere but on the inside. The strength needed to follow the Savior’s example in serving others comes only from within. Only by getting good with you on the inside can you be in position to strengthen and uplift others. That requires dealing with unfairness in your life productively. Of course, Christ offers the most productive way of confronting any challenge in life. And so, Elder Renlund points us to the Savior:
The Lord understands what it’s like to carry your burden. He can make your burden light because He’s already carried it. His life wasn’t exactly free of injustice, and the Atonement brought to Him whatever suffering you’ve experienced that wasn’t in His life. He willingly carried all that burden because of His love for you. Find advantageAnd because of that love and willingness to accept your sufferings — burdens which weren’t at all fair He should carry — you can trust Him He’ll support you in this present world and someday somehow correct whatever injustice you experience. He’ll also help you find advantage in that injustice. As the Book of Mormon prophet Lehi taught, “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). Every obstacle you face must therefore also come with its opposite. What’s the opposite of an obstacle but an opportunity? So there must be an opportunity with every obstacle. Likewise, every injustice must come with its opposite. If an injustice is something horribly wrong, then its opposite must be something fantastically right — a delight, a joy, a thrill, a gratification. So every injustice must come with a gratification. The gratification that comes might not relate at all to the injustice. But one gratification we can all have from whatever injustice we experience is that which comes from supporting someone else in similar circumstances. Elder Renlund spoke of this:
Your injustice gives you an experience by which you can extend compassion and support to others with similar experience. The never-marrieds who experience injustice in the search for eternal companionship as well as those experiencing injustice in divorce or being widowed can reach out to other LDS singles with similar experience. You can leverage your injustice to lift others higher. Become betterThat means every confrontation you have with injustice presents you with a choice. You can retreat into yourself and become embittered. Or you can give of yourself and become empowered. You make your choice with your focus. Focusing on how wronged you’ve been creates a reality of wrong, which leads to bitterness. Focusing on how you can leverage the injustice to help others creates a reality of hope, which leads to empowerment. We all know which choice is better. As Elder Renlund counseled,
Though the injustice you face may make it easy to feel the Lord has abandoned you, He hasn’t, nor will He ever so long as you turn to Him. Only the Prince of Peace can grant a fullness of the peace we all seek in the face of injustice. So whatever injustice you face in your life, take the Lord at His word that someday someway He’ll right every wrong you experience, and give Him your burden. When you do, He can heal you and help you leverage your pain for your gain in helping others. Instead of becoming bitter, you become better. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
Christ is of course the ultimate source of hope for anything good in this life or the next. No matter your background or situation, there is always hope because there is always Christ. That doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges, but it does mean every problem has some solution in Him. With hope in Christ, you can joyfully rise above any challenge. Hope has powerI especially like President Ballard’s reliance upon eternal principles of truth. He doesn’t really talk about singles until halfway through his address. He spends the first half laying out the foundational principles that support his remarks on singles. That’s significant. Equally significant is his repetition of what Elder Gong shared earlier. The majority of LDS adults are single. The public recognition of this demographic change precedes a new thrust by the Church to change LDS culture. Leaders might not describe it that way, but the Church is certainly publicly reaching more after those who by definition don’t have the traditional marker of belonging in LDS culture, namely being married with kids. And it’s more than just Conference talks. Have you seen the Church website lately? The website has been promoting an upcoming broadcast for singles over 30, the first ever Church-wide broadcast tailored entirely and specifically for this demographic. There’s also an excellent article in the latest Liahona providing practical advice on helping singles feel more included at church. This is the power of hope in Christ. How long have I discussed in blog posts and this radio program the need to embrace a Christ-centered culture in which the mark of belonging is discipleship? For the past seven years I’ve expressed my faith such a change would come, even amidst the challenges of feeling included in a culture that didn’t always welcome me. And now I rejoice to see the Lord rewarding the faith I and many others have held all this time. Hope means action President Ballard extolled singles everywhere to have such faith. Said he, “I speak of hope in Christ not as wishful thinking. Instead, I speak of hope as an expectation that will be realized. Such hope is essential to overcoming adversity, fostering spiritual resilience and strength, and coming to know that we are loved by our Eternal Father and that we are His children, who belong to His family.” How does one achieve such hope? It comes by faith in Christ who grants that hope to those who wait patiently upon Him. Because faith is a principle of action, so is waiting upon the Lord. President Ballard said as much. He declared,
I love his declaration of increased hope through needed contribution, a concept we’ve long discussed here — the need for singles to have a personal ministry. When you devote yourself to sharing your unique goodness and light with others, you focus on what you can do. That focus in turn creates a reality of possibility and potential, which naturally leads to hope. Hope is yoursPresident Ballard shared other principles that engender hope — the truth no blessing will be denied those who keep covenants, the assurance blessings will be ours though we don’t know all the details, the inclusion of exaltation in God’s plan for all the willing, and faith the Lord will eventually right every wrong experienced in mortality. Each of these principles encourage us to hold to the promise of better days ahead. And that promise is true. It’s not just wishful thinking. Better days are ahead! Whether those days come tomorrow, two years from tomorrow, or two centuries from tomorrow, better days will come. Faith helps us to see those better days, and hope helps us hold true until those days arrive. There is always hope because there is always Christ. Let your hope in Christ kindle a fire of faith that promised blessings will be yours. Let your hope in Christ inspire you to share the light of your goodness with others. As you embrace your own personal ministry, you’ll see that light grow ever brighter and brighter. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.
What does surprise me is that singles have been the majority for the past two years and only now are we hearing the Brethren talk about it openly. Whatever the reason for its delay, the announcement is no less welcome. It marks a noticeable and important turning point in the unfolding of the Restoration, declaring to the world that, no matter your background or circumstances, there is room in the inn for you. Leave the old behind It hasn't always been that way in practice. You don't need to be a long-time listener of the program to know the traditional family-centered culture of the Church has challenged many singles to feel like they truly belonged. But probably only long-time listeners know some of my experiences with that challenge. Of all of the different wards I've attended, one of the most challenging was the midsingles ward I attended in Seattle. That assertion may surprise some who think that I as a single adult should feel a greater sense of belonging in a ward filled with other singles. But it was not so. Far from it, I routinely felt isolated, ignored, and invisible. Memories of those days played in my mind as Elder Gong spoke of a gospel culture of belonging, one in which everyone is important, even essential. What he describes is the exact opposite of what I experienced. To be fair, I've been a part of some really outstanding wards filled with people who really reached out to help me feel welcome and included. And these wards entered my life at times when I need relief and rest from wrestling with the challenge presented in other wards, like the midsingles ward in Seattle. The Lord's hand was definitely evident in those moves. Embrace a new season The Lord's hand was also evident in Elder Gong's remarks. As he spoke of the Church as a place where "we are all equal, with no second-class groups," Elder Gong provided more impetus for the change that has been unfolding now for the past several years. Long-time listeners to the program will know what I'm talking about here — a change in the culture away from a center on family and towards a center on Christ. A family-centered culture means you need to have a family to belong, but a Christ-centered culture means you need to have Christ to belong. Singles by definition don't have a complete family of their own, but everyone can have a covenant relationship with and devoted discipleship of the Lord. Elder Gong recognizes as much when he declares,
Elder Gong identifies a change in the culture more explicitly when he taught,
Oh, the times, they are a-changin'! Keep the covenant path Hearing Elder Gong describe the Christ-centered culture I've advocated on this platform for years set me on fire. It also filled me with deep gratitude to God He hasn't forsaken His single sons and daughters but rather remembers every single one (pun intended). We don't always know what the future will bring, but we can always know the goodness of God as He dispenses grace and tender mercies in hours of need. "As we create room in His Inn," Elder Gong declares, "welcoming all, our Good Samaritan can heal us on our dusty mortal roads." That is why only in helping others can we receive the help we each really need. There will always be room in the inn where true disciples reach out in love to welcome all and keep all on the covenant path. As we each contribute in our own way to that effort, we will embrace a truer, purer gospel culture in which all truly belong. And that will bring us more joy in our journey.
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Howdy! I'm Lance, host of Joy in the Journey Radio. I've been blogging about LDS singles life since 2012, and since 2018 I've been producing a weekly Internet radio show and podcast to help LDS singles have more joy in their journey and bring all Latter-day Saints together. Let's engage a conversation that will increase the faith of LDS singles and bring singles and marrieds together in a true unity of the faith.
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