not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility” (2 Nephi 2:11).

To Father Lehi’s list of essential opposites we can add this pair: comfort and growth.  We all want growth, but growth by its very nature is often uncomfortable.  And if we avoid the discomfort, we’ll never grow.  There’s no comfort in growth but also no growth in comfort.

We’d all do well to remember these essential opposites as we encounter challenges in our lives.  Many LDS singles naturally retract from the discomfort their challenges bring.  That has nothing to do with being single and everything to do with being human.  But the growth they want can’t come without discomfort.

Many of the challenges of LDS singles life come from the nature of singleness. You’re made to connect with another half, but you have only the half you are.  Everything in your life has to come from you.  All your financial support has to come from you.  Maintaining everything in your life has to come from you.  If something doesn’t work, the fix has to come from you.  If you have children to raise, then that too has to come from you.

We’ve all been there in Singleland.  Some of us have been there longer than others, and others more are still there.  In fact, that’s where the majority of the adult Church membership is.  And the majority of that majority is stuck right there in Singleland because they keep looking for the comfortable exit in the futile hope they can grow without discomfort.

That hope is futile because growth and comfort are essential opposites.  You can’t grow if you stay comfortable.  To have growth, you must be willing to embrace discomfort.

Notice I said embrace.  A mere acceptance will not do.  You must put your arms around the pain and take it in.  You must channel it into the molding of your character.  You must leverage it to your advantage.  You must take what appears to hold you back and turn it into the very impetus that propels you forward.

Most people don’t think this way, which is why most people when presented with challenge will whimper and wallow in self-pity.  Those who successfully transcend — not just overcome but transcend — their challenges are those who embrace the discomfort.  And that embrace is what allows them to experience the most growth from their challenges.

We’ve all had the experience not just of trials but also of realization after the trial that the uncomfortable experience made us stronger.  We learned something we didn’t know before.  We have a perspective that’s more complete because of the experience the trial provided.  We grew because of the discomfort.

But most of us leave it there, taking just what life has forced upon us.  We’re leaving some growth on the table when we do that.  There’s so much more growth we could experience if only we embraced the discomfort.

And that discomfort is something LDS singles especially should want to embrace.  We’ve talked often about the fundamentals of the dating journey and how you must become more agreeable by changing you.  That change you most need is almost always uncomfortable.  But embracing that growth by being all in with both your circumstances and what you do in those circumstances will bring that change to you more quickly and more completely.  And maximum growth leads to maximum joy.

There’s no comfort in growth but also no growth in comfort.  May we each remember that truth as we each consider our response to the challenges in our own lives.  And may we each embrace the discomfort in those challenges.  Doing so will maximize the growth we’ll experience.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

Thinking back on my experiences with LDS singles over the years (in addition to being one myself), I’ve selected some questions that appear over and over again yet yield poor results.  Also, for each one I’ve better questions that lead to better answers that yield better results.  At the end of the day, we all want results, but tackling your challenges often begins with asking the right questions.

Let’s start with what’s probably the leader of the pack.  Many of us are just trying to do the right thing while we find our way in this world, and yet many of us just keep getting beat down.  Over and over again, when things don’t work out, we ask, “Why me?”

I was like that in my 20s.  “I don’t understand,” I’d say to myself.  “I’m trying to do what’s right.  Why is dating so hard?  Why can’t they see what a good person I am?  Why does this have to happen to me?”

With questions like those guiding my thinking, I didn’t get desired results.  And my struggles intensified because I kept doing what I’d been doing.  I kept asking the same questions, which led to the same answers, which brought the same results.

Things kept getting worse until I reached a turning point: I realized I was responsible for my life and whatever it was.  Most turn away from such thoughts, but I embraced it.  And as a result, I started asking different questions.  Instead of asking “Why me?” I started to ask “What do I do now?”

I can’t begin to tell you how fundamental that flip in thinking was.  Instead of playing the victim, I started playing the victor.  Instead of feeling all was hopeless and lost, I began feeling hopeful that everything could change in my favor.  The blessings I wanted could come to me.

That’s another question I started asking.  Many singles wonder when their blessings will come to them, especially as the years being single begin to accumulate.  But instead of asking “When will my blessings come?” it’s far more productive to ask “What can I do to near myself towards my blessings?”  So many want their struggles to end, but they want the solution to come on demand without doing any real work to get it.  The true joy in life unfolds when you use your agency to quit wallowing in the wanting and start wading in the working.

That’s one major difference between less and more effective questions.  Less effective questions assume you don’t need to change you, and therefore you don’t need to act.  But results come only from action, so taking no or poor action means getting no or poor results.  More effective questions, conversely, assume you must change you, and thus their answers encourage you to exercise the power of your agency and act.  Better action always produces better results.

That’s why asking poor questions never delivers rich rewards.  I’m sure many if not most of us have asked, “Why does it have to be so hard?”  But how many of us have stopped to examine the assumptions behind that question?  Those who do are more likely to encounter the better question: “How can I get better?”

It’s one thing to wish things were better.  Everyone does that.  It’s another to wish you were better, and most don’t do that.  They focus on what’s outside of themselves, and in so doing they disempower themselves because the power they seek to change their life is already inside of them and by looking outside themselves they focus away from the very power they seek.  When you continually focus on what you can do to grow into something that isn’t challenged by what currently challenges you now, you can achieve amazing results.  You’ll always get better answers by asking better questions.

So when you find yourself asking questions about the state of your life, step outside yourself and ask if you’re asking the right questions.  Only by asking the right questions will you find the right answers, and that will bring you more joy in your journey.

I freely admit my ignorance.  I’ve never been married or a parent, so I don’t fully understand the challenges of single parenting.  But I do understand singleness and recognize several principles Brother Romney shared that apply to all LDS singles, regardless of age or circumstance.

First, and perhaps most importantly, the restored gospel holds the solutions to life’s problems.  You’ll see many of those solutions only after adopting the perspectives the restored gospel encourages.  Far too many LDS singles think a solution will eliminate their problem so they can live more comfortably.  Often real solutions instead allow you to leverage your problems so you can grow and become more than you were before.

Brother Romney brought out that perspective beautifully.  The hope, joy, and strength which he found as a single father came from “small, simple things” like family prayer, expressions of encouragement, magnifying callings, and seeking direction from inspired leaders.  Our Heavenly Father has a plan of happiness for you.  That plan might not resemble the one you’d make, but His plan will best help you attain maximum happiness.

In his article, Brother Romney raised an excellent question: “I was a father trying to raise daughters on my own. . . . How could I help them prepare to become women?”  This variation on the more common theme of “How can I meet the challenge when I don’t seem fit for it?” has troubled many LDS singles.

Yet the answer again lies in perspective.  No matter your situation, you’re in this alone only if you want to be.  Brother Romney found many resources of support for his situation, including family members, neighbors, and ministering brothers and Church leaders.  We all have more resources than we think we do.  We just need to apply the Savior’s teaching: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7).

Brother Romney rightly mentions that “not everyone will experience this same level of support.”  Wards are people, and people are all at different points of progression along the eternal path.  Some just haven’t yet progressed that far.

Notwithstanding, the Lord won’t leave you comfortless.  He’s provided people around you, sometimes in and sometimes out of the Church, who’ll help in some way.  You just need ask, seek, and knock.  As Brother Romney acknowledges, “until we let others know the gaps we see . . . those individuals may not understand how they can help.”  The squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease.

Ultimately, the Lord won’t abandon you.  He loves you too much to do that.  Not only will He walk by your side, the Lord will provide a strength to persevere only He can provide.

The same Lord Who’s assembled a plan for your maximum happiness, restored His gospel offering needed perspective, and provided resources to support you is also intimately aware of you.  He knows what you need in the moment you need it.

He knows how overwhelming your specific combination of challenges and circumstances can feel.  He submitted Himself to all things “that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).  Through the enabling power of His Atonement, Christ can help you do what you otherwise could not.

No matter the challenge, whether it be raising daughters as a single dad, raising sons as a single mother, or simply finding joy in LDS singles life, you can partner with the Lord and leverage your challenges to grow and become something more than you were before.  When you do, you’ll grow so much you’ll transcend your challenges.  What once seemed overwhelming will be no more than an afterthought.  And all along the way, you’ll feel the strength of the Lord abiding with you. And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Yes, I know how incredible that may sound to some, especially if your life hasn’t gone the way you expected.  You’ve probably also had some painful experiences involving either someone else deciding against you in a single instance or many others using their agency across multiple instances.  Maybe you’ve experienced both.  But even if you’ve had the whole world against you, I still say seek and expect miracles.

We typically think of miracles as events that defy the laws of nature.  For me, miracles are manifestations of one or more universal laws we don’t understand fully.

This shift in perspective is essential to why I say we should seek and expect miracles.  The perspectives we take and the assumptions we embrace are everything; they’re key components of our thinking, which produces our actions, which in turn produces our results.  In the end, we all want results, so when we don’t get desired results, we need to examine our thinking.

President Nelson begins his comments on miracles with this declaration:

First, he illustrates his concept with the words of a single adult!  And this wasn’t just any single.  No, Moroni had everything ripped from him.  He witnessed the destruction of his people in a horrible war, leaving him to wander alone for the safety of his own life.  Yet he still declared fervent belief in miracles.

All lives have painful disappointments, but most don’t compare to Moroni’s.  If in his circumstances he could find the strength to believe in miracles, could we not muster the courage to do the same?

President Nelson continued,

It’s not just Moroni but every book of scripture declaring belief in miracles — all the more reason to question our perspectives and assumptions leading us to disbelieve in miracles.  While we question, we should remember the Prophet’s caveat: Miracles can take time and may not unfold how we expect.  So often LDS singles seeking a miracle expect something so inconsistent with universal law they take the absence of their miracle as evidence against miracles.

That last phrase caught my attention.  How many LDS singles have approached their desire for a miracle “doubting nothing”?  Most of us have doubts, some so much so they’re consumed by them.  And yet “doubting nothing” is part of the price of faith we must pay for admission to the miracle show.

That means we’ve got work to do.  It’s no surprise then to see President Nelson’s next words:

How often have we advocated taking ownership of your life, or doing what’s in your power, or partnering with the Lord?  Results come from only one thing — action.  To score points, you must quit sitting on the sidelines and get on the field.  So often the miracle we want is perfection delivered to our doorstep.  In reality, we need to partner with the Lord, accept His guidance, and do the work that will create our miracle.

So many LDS singles wanting a miracle are faint.  They’re weary.  They’re beat down by the vicissitudes of life that point their gaze towards their weaknesses and imperfections, leaving them to wonder how their miracle could ever happen.

But none of that matters when you partner with the Lord, for He “giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”  With Him, we can do anything, even move the mountain seemingly standing before us.

So yes, even if you’ve had the whole world against you, I still say seek and expect miracles.  Believe they can happen for you.  Partner with the Lord and do the work you must do to have your miracle.  You can then live with confidence that in time your miracle will happen.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Understandably, the weight of life presses on us all.  For many LDS singles who’ve lived years without the righteous blessings they desire, that weight can be heavy indeed.  A pessimistic outlook on the future that often attends that weight doesn’t help.

But there is always hope because there is always Christ.  He can help us go forward when we feel there is no way forward because He is the Way.  When we give our heartfelt all to Him, He gives us access to His power.  And with His power, we can do all things.

That includes maximizing our joy in LDS singles life.  We can find balance amongst all the tensions of life when we put the Savior and our discipleship to Him first and give our all to Him and His work.  As Elder Uchtdorf explained,

This is how LDS singles can move their lives forward.

This doesn’t mean your solution to the challenges of LDS singles life is more church.  The solution is more you.  When you give more of yourself to what you do, you create the space in which you can have more joy in your life.

It’s that giving more of yourself that actually creates that space for more joy.  That’s why time and time again I’ve defined happiness as giving your all to all the right things for you.  That’s why for years I’ve encouraged LDS singles to embrace a personal ministry.  Like the widow’s mite which Elder Uchtdorf referenced to begin his remarks, your contribution to making the world a better place is worthwhile when it represents your all because it’s only in giving your all that you become a better you.

I can understand why so many LDS singles want to give up on their lives.  Dating often results in frustration and other negative emotions.  Then there’s loneliness.  And those singles who are also parents have double duty in raising their children.  I get it.

But I also get that frustration is a sign you’re going about something the wrong way.  So when you feel life isn’t working right, it’s really you that isn’t working right.  You need a new approach!  Elder Uchtdorf explained how putting the Lord first helps us each find the new approach we need.

When you partner with the Lord by putting Him and His work first and then taking counsel from Him, He Who is the Way will show you the way.  This principle works in every aspect of life, not just discipleship.  When you give more of you to all you do, you can get more out of what you do.

So if you aren’t getting what you want out of dating, give more of you to it.  Start by learning the fundamentals.  If you aren’t getting more of what you want from your occupation, give more of you to it.  And so it goes for every aspect of life.

You can find the balance and lift you need when you give your all and keep moving forward.  So don’t stop.  Don’t stagnate.  Don’t wallow in the mire of despair.  Don’t wrap yourself in pity.  Focus on where you want to go and keep moving forward.  As Elder Uchtdorf taught,

Give your heartfelt all to all you do.  You’ll create the space for more joy in your life.  You’ll see life turning around for you.  And you’ll find more balance and lift in your life as you come closer to the Lord.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Sister Newbold acknowledges a common singles attitude: Identifying yourself by what you don’t have.  When you do that, you’ll live in a space where you’re deficient.  Sister Newbold’s response is an effective one: Live in a space where you see yourself as you’ll be, because that’s how God sees you.  By living “as though” God’s promises are fulfilled, you can be joyful now.

Sister Newbold recognizes the difficulty of reconciling as yet unfulfilled promises with the reality of LDS singles life.  Her answer is to live “as though” those promises have been fulfilled, though she admits that’s challenging.  She writes, “Given that God is a God of promises, it becomes hard at times for me to reconcile why certain promises have not yet been fulfilled in my life.”

I’m sure many singles can relate.  I myself felt that challenge a few months ago.  In the midst of my most challenging semester of school ever, questions about my patriarchal blessing began to feel more demanding.  And given my age, I began to wonder how my promised blessings will ever come to me.

Sure, it’s easy to say, “Well, sometimes patriarchal blessings get fulfilled in eternity.” But that doesn’t apply to the married life the Lord promised me.  Very clear and unambiguous language speaks of my temple marriage in this life and actions my children and posterity will take in this life.  These and other blessings are promised to me in this life, not the next.

Given I’m in my late 40s and not getting any younger, questions of how those promises would be fulfilled troubled me.  At the time, I really struggled with those questions.  Now I simply feel a quiet confidence somehow it’ll all happen.

Sister Newbold’s answer to that challenge, as mentioned earlier, is to live “as though” promised blessings have arrived.  How do we do that?  Sister Newbold shares three suggestions.

First, she suggests considering a variety of promises.  LDS singles tend to fixate on the marriage they by definition don’t have right now.  That focus blinds them from seeing other promised blessings they already have, many of which they take for granted.  Recognizing these less appreciated but bountiful blessings invites gratitude and trust God will keep all His promises.

Second, she suggests recognizing God’s hand in our lives.  Many in today’s world focus on what they lack, and as long-time audience members will tell you, your focus becomes your reality.  Focusing on lack creates a reality of scarcity, which inhibits the ability to feel joy.  But focusing on what you have creates a reality of abundance.  I really like how Sister Newbold extends that idea to the sacrament.

Third, Sister Newbold suggests helping the Lord keep His promises to others through Spirit-directed service.  When you follow the Spirit’s promptings to help others, you can help answer their prayers.  You can find joy in being the Lord’s hands.

Honestly, I appreciate a perspective centered on our focus rather than the traditional and highly unhelpful ”Just hold faithful, and everything will be right in the next life.”  Additionally, Sister Newbold readily admits that “trusting in His promises is not always an easy choice.”

She also says “living ‘as though’ will look different for everyone.”  I suspect that’s only true in the particulars.  I could summarize what that looks like for her as making and keeping as many covenants as she can, in essence living all of the gospel she can.  I think that would describe living “as though” for any LDS single.

God will keep every promise made to every one of us.  He has thousands of years of experience doing just that for the generations that came before us.  And the Spirit can remind us of moments when He’s kept promises in our own lives.  So we can trust He’ll keep every as yet unfulfilled promise.  When we live“as though” by walking with faith He’ll do just that, we can be instruments in fulfilling His purposes, all the while experiencing the quiet confidence that somehow it’ll all happen for us.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

The story begins with Phil Connors, the weatherman for Channel 9 News in Pittsburgh.  The man is clearly full of himself, so it’s no surprise no one really likes him, not even himself.  He’s a rather disgruntled man who thinks covering the Groundhog Day Festival is beneath him.

So imagine his shock when he wakes up thinking it’s February 3rd only to find out it’s February 2nd again.  The bewilderment continues as each morning he wakes up to find that somehow in his sleep he went back in time by one day.  He keeps living the same day over and over again.

His first reaction is denial.  This can’t be happening to me!  Denial drives resistance, but no matter how he fights against his situation, the next morning is always February 2nd again.  His denial then turns into despair.  This report he gives at the festival summarizes his condition rather well.

That day ended in suicide, but it doesn’t end him.  In despair, Phil keeps trying to kill himself in different ways trying unsuccessfully to escape his never-ending cycle.

And then one of those February 2nd days becomes a pivot day when everything changes.  Phil doesn’t escape the never-ending cycle, but he does find a new perspective on his situation.  And what changed everything was Rita.

Rita is Phil’s producer.  She’s also the apple of his eye.  Previously he spent God knows how many successive February 2nd days trying to get into her pants.  But on his pivot day, Phil approaches Rita with a different agenda.  Instead of trying to satiate his lust, he sincerely cries for help.  (Why do I have a Rick Astley song in my head right now?)  Rita helps him and in the process begins to fall for him.

Of course, that disappears when everything resets the next morning.  But Phil remains changed, and he starts spending his February 2nd days improving upon himself, working to become a better, more quality person.  He takes up reading all kinds of books.  He learns to play the piano.  He takes up ice sculpting!  Not only do his efforts make him a better person, they make his life more interesting.

And the proof is in this report.  It’s the same day, same festival, but a completely different Phil.

Once he stopped trying to escape his situation and embraced it, Phil was able to tap into the joy  life has to offer every single day.  In the end, he escapes the cycle and gets the girl.

The allegory here to LDS singles is so clear I wonder why I didn’t see it earlier.  How many of us singles are in denial?  No, I can’t be single.  This can’t be happening to me!  And no matter what we do to fight it, we seem caught in a never-ending cycle of singleness from which we cannot escape.

But if we’d stop trying to escape from it and start embracing it, we could turn everything around.  We could start looking inside ourselves and working to become better, more quality people.  We can do things to make our lives more interesting.  We could tap into the joy God wants us to have every single day.

And we could help other singles to have their pivot day.  Just as Rita helped turn things around for Phil, we can reach out to one another.  Instead of looking only to satiate our own agendas when we interact with each other, we could help each other live better lives.

When we take a lesson from Groundhog Day, we can make the most of what seems to be a never-ending cycle of singleness.  By embracing our situation instead of trying to escape from it, we can live our best life and help others to do the same.  And that will bring us more joy in our journey.

That vote of no confidence really punched me in the gut.  Initially I was in a daze, uncertain of my path forward.  But as time lifted that fog, I began to gain some clarity and regain some perspective.  If you feel that way, know that all is not lost.  There’s always hope because there’s always Christ.  That hope says you can change for the better.  And you can keep that optimism when you treat every day like it’s your birthday.

At my age, birthdays just don’t seem as special to me as they did when I was a kid.  I’ve been there, done that, got the shirt and the hat, plus I chair the membership committee.  (Would you like to join?  We have jackets!)

And that’s part of the problem.  Something about becoming an adult sacrifices that childhood perspective of optimism and possibility on the altar of pessimistic reality.  We’re more prone to point out barriers to justify why we won’t or can’t achieve than to believe that achievement is possible and look for a way to overcome the obstacle.

We also lose the joy of childhood.  The adult perspective is so often serious.  Kids naturally approach their day looking for fun.  They don’t worry much beyond the present; they live in the moment.  Certainly there are times when we need to buckle down and do some serious work.  But we could all benefit from introducing an element of fun into what we do and living in the moment.

That’s what birthdays are all about for kids.  They get absorbed in enjoying the moment.  If we lived life like a kid, maybe some of our obstacles would disappear because our overly serious perspective that created them would be gone.

Treating every day like it’s your birthday also recognizes the special gift each day really is.  Too often we go through our days playing out habits that carry us from one moment to the next.  And that lull of life lacks the joy each day can and does bring.

That’s why a life on autopilot will never lead you to your best life.  There’s nothing to savor in simply going through the motions.  Very often, we go through those motions without any awareness of what we’re doing.  That’s how we’re biologically hardwired to operate.

Treating every day like it’s your birthday breaks you out of that mold.  Because it’s not something you normally do, it doesn’t conform to routine or habit, which takes what you do out of the shadows and into the light of awareness.  Being fully aware of what you’re doing does two things: (1) It opens you to the joy to be found in each moment of living, and (2) it increases your sensitivity to possibilities, allowing for creativity in finding solutions to overcome obstacles.

Applying these ideas to my current challenge, I can see a path ahead.  I need to find someone knowledgeable I can trust to give me objective counsel and help me construct a plan going forward.  And strangely I feel excited about that.

Treating today like it’s my birthday brought me there.  I’m looking for the joy instead of wallowing in the mire of misery.  I’m embracing optimism in a brighter future that I can forge.  I’m opening myself to the hope that always is because Christ always is.  I’m tempering the responsibilities of adulthood with the perspectives of childhood.

So treat every day like it’s your birthday.  You’ll invite yourself to open more to possibility.  You’ll do more to take care of yourself.  You’ll experience more creativity as you embrace more optimism.  And you’ll live your life more hopeful of the future that has you living your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

The changes we’re all looking for in our lives are just that — changes.  Nothing in your life will change until you change.  That means you need to stop doing what you’re doing so you can do something different.

Stopping is the first meaningful step in meaningful change.  Even if you do nothing more than stop to question whether or not you’re moving the right direction, you’ll never change if you keep doing the same thing over and over.

Yet that’s what most people do.  They say they want a different life, but then they keep doing the same things over and over.  And because they keep doing the same things over and over, they keep getting the same results over and over.  Their autopilot lives keep them in a state of limbo equilibrium.  And they’ll continue to play out that cycle until they stop.

Direction determines destination, so once you’ve stopped taking your life in an undesired direction, you need to turn and adjust your course in a desired direction.  That may sound simplistic, but it isn’t.

And here’s why.  How do you know what direction will lead to the best destination?  More times than not, you won’t.  This is where partnering with the Lord comes in.  It’s also where I learned how deviating from your intended purpose could actually lead you to achieve it.  Sometimes we need to give up what we think is best for us in order to take what really is best for us.

The last episode is a case in point.  I thought the best direction to take the program was seeking direction from the Lord when setting goals.  That’s not bad.  But neither was it best.  The best direction was the one the program took.  We need to accept direction from the Lord in our dating journey, especially when it comes to deciding who we date.  And we need to embrace the Lord’s direction to date those who, left to our own devices, we’d rather not date.

We need to do the same thing in our lives.  Once we stop doing what we’ve been doing, we need to turn to the Lord with a willingness to go in whatever direction He’ll lead us, even if that direction appears to take us away from the destination we want.  I stress the word appears because that’s what it often is — an appearance, an illusion.  If the direction comes from the Lord, how could it not ultimately lead us to the best destination, the one where we’ll be the happiest we could possibly be?

Once we get that direction from the Lord, all that remains is execution.  We’ll never get to any destination unless we take the steps that lead there.  Results in any endeavor come from one thing and one thing only, and that is action.

The results you get are also commensurate with the action you take.  No results comes from taking no action.  Poor results come from taking poor action.  Good results come from taking good action.  To arrive at the best destination, you need to take the action that will take you there.  That action most likely follows this sequence: Stop what you’re doing, turn to the Lord, and act under His direction.  Partner with Him for your life.

Consider the changes you want in your life, changes you’ve tried to make but continually escape you time and time again.  Then stop, turn, and act.  When you partner with the Lord, you’ll find yourself making more progress towards your best life.  And you’ll find yourself growing as you learn what your best life really is.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.

Everything works that way.  We all dream of having our best life, but to have that life, you must pay a price in faith, diligence, patience, and longsuffering in daily doing the small acts that over time will aggregate into a harvest of success.  Most people don’t do that because it’s hard.  But that’s precisely why it’s worth doing.  With great diligence, you can have the positive changes you want in your life.

Success isn’t complicated.  Do the right things day after day, and eventually you get what you want.  But like the seed in Alma’s parable, you don’t reap a harvest overnight.  And that’s probably the hardest part of achieving success.

We all have changes we want in our lives.  But taking action day after day and not seeing the results you want can wear you down.  Many quit the fight too soon.  Because only action produces results, quitting the fight means taking no action, which means getting no results.  So what can keep you in the fight when it gets hard?

Alma provides an answer.  He mentions diligence, but first he mentions faith.  And that’s what can pull you through.  With a vision of your life after you pay your price for what you want, you can keep on keeping on.

I’ve used that in my PhD program.  As I’ve felt the challenge increase, I remember teaching as an adjunct and relive how good it felt to work my dream job.  My faith that overcoming my present difficulty will get me closer to the result I seek drives me through the difficulty.  So it is with anything in life.  Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is really the other side of the mountain and not an oncoming train can help you push forward no matter how bleak your present position.

As you push on in the darkness of the moment, the difficulty separating you from your desired best life isn’t just in doing what’s needed everyday but also in having to wait for results to materialize.  We all want results on our schedule, and our schedule often screams now.

So it’s not surprising Alma, to faith and diligence, adds patience.  It takes patience to nourish a seed into maturity.  Part of the price you’ll pay for what you want is in patience.  You must take the small steps required day after day, continually putting forth effort with faith those results will come, especially when they don’t come instantly.

Faith helps me have patience, but so does celebrating small wins.  Recognizing a victory, no matter how small, helps me feel I’m making progress and moving closer to my best life.

Having patience in the overall journey and not just the task before me also helps.  When one approach fails, I don’t lose hope.  I have faith the approach I need exists, and I keep searching with the determination to do so until I find the approach that will work for me.

That attitude necessitates a lot of trial and error, which requires longsuffering.  Often you must pay your price over a long time without seeing desired results.  Little wonder Alma includes longsuffering in his parable of the seed.

Suffering must be endured; it makes your harvest much more precious.  But suffering doesn’t mean you must be miserable.  You can have sincere joy while suffering if you strengthen your faith and focus on the blessings and opportunities along your way.

Whatever positive changes you want can be yours if you pay in full and in advance the price you must pay.  That requires diligence in doing the small daily actions that over time will accumulate into your success.  But you also need faith to see the glory awaiting you, patience to allow the natural workings of the universe to operate, and longsuffering to endure well the time before results come.  With those three attributes married to diligence, you can make whatever positive change you want.  You can have your best life.  And that will bring you more joy in your journey.